“I’m probably going to fail, aren’t I?” I finally said. “Even if I give it my best, I’m not nearly up to the challenge. Your side really screwed up by making me the last Davidian. Tons of other people could’ve handled this a lot better than me, and they probably wouldn’t have kept saying no first, either.”
“Do you know what Moses said when he was first told that he had been chosen to demand his people’s freedom from Pharaoh?” Unless I was mistaken, I thought a tinge of amusement colored Zach’s tone. “He said that he wasn’t a good speaker, so please send someone else.”
“I don’t remember that,” I said in surprise.
Zach grunted. “Nor do most people. They only remember his successes. Jonah refused his call at first, too, and I could tell you millions of other stories like theirs. The truth is that many who are chosen refuse their destinies when they are first called to them. Some, like Moses and Jonah, obey later, but some never do. Therefore you, Ivy, are not the first, nor will you be the last, to say no to your calling at the onset, then change your mind later.”
I felt better hearing that. It didn’t mean I had any greater chance to succeed, but it helped to know I wasn’t the only one who’d said, Nuh uh! and run in the opposite direction when confronted with a monumental, destiny-altering choice.
“Is that why you gave me the hallowed weapons back?” I asked. “Because you knew that eventually I’d change my mind?”
The smallest smile touched his mouth. “I didn’t give them back to you.”
“Uh, yes, you did,” I said, tapping the braided rope tattoo on my right hand for emphasis.
“No, I didn’t,” he said, his smile fading. “Nor did I take them from you in the first place. Since the day you wielded them, the hallowed weapons have not once left your flesh.”
I stared at him. “That’s not possible.” Then I said it again. “That’s not possible. For weeks, they were gone!”
“From sight only,” he replied, his voice deepening. “Your guilt over forsaking your destiny was so strong, it compelled the images of the weapons to fade. But they were never gone. That is why, when Demetrius was near you, you felt them again.”
“But when I saw him before in the bathroom, I didn’t feel anything,” I said, still swinging between denial and shock.
“He had not crossed over into your realm,” Zach replied. “He was only a reflection in a mirror. Those weapons do not activate by the reflection of a demon. Only one’s presence.”
I didn’t ask how he knew the details of my bathroom encounter with Demetrius. Zach seemed to know everything. I don’t know why I bothered to ever think otherwise.
“The weapons never left me?” This wasn’t me arguing with him; it was me trying to accept the truth.
“No, Ivy.” Zach’s voice was soft. “Even when all your senses were telling you that they had, you were not alone. You have never been alone.”
I had to turn away because I didn’t want him to see the tears that sprang to my eyes. He wasn’t only talking about the presence of the weapons, and we both knew it.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I said, trying to get ahold of myself. I didn’t know why I was crying at the drop of a hat lately. Yes, things had been very stressful, eventful and emotional recently, but come on. I was starting to resemble a leaky faucet.
“Because you wouldn’t have believed me, so you still wouldn’t have seen them.”
I looked back at him. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
He gave an oblique shrug. “Some things you need to believe before you can see them.”
“O me of little faith, huh?” I said with a small, self-deprecating laugh.
Zach didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His expression all but screamed Exactly.
Yeah, well, having faith was hard. I believed in a lot of things, mostly because I had no choice due to my firsthand experience. But faith wasn’t just overcoming the hurdle of believing—it was the far more difficult act of trusting, and I still wasn’t there yet.
I didn’t want to get into that with Zach, however. He might be practically all-knowing, but some things—especially this—I’d have to figure out for myself. Instead, I said, “So, am I going to see you again after we leave here?”
“Yes.”
I waited, but he didn’t elaborate or say anything else. As the silence continued, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to. From the faint tilting of his lips, it seemed to amuse him that I was frustrated about that, too.
“Great,” I finally said, my voice edged with false flippancy. “I can’t wait to be surprised when it happens.”
Then Zach did something so unexpected, so shocking, I could only stare at him in complete disbelief.
He laughed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
WE GOT UP the next morning, or whatever time of the day it was. Hard to tell when it was always bright and sunny, let alone when time passed differently here. In any case, Adrian no longer had dark circles under his eyes. After my talk with Zach, I had finally slept, too, so he wasn’t the only one who felt better.
When Jasmine came out of her tent, it took only one look for me to know that she hadn’t had a restful night. Her eyes were red rimmed, and her movements were stiff and jerky from anger. Costa gave me a guarded look when he came out of the tent after her, and I noticed that he gave her a wide berth.
“Did you two have a fight?” I asked without beating around the bush.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jasmine said shortly.
“Yes,” Costa replied, matching my bluntness with his own. “She knows what you’re intending to do, and she’s furious both with you for doing it and me for supporting your decision.”
My mouth sagged open. “What?” I hadn’t told her yet. I’d intended to today, but it looked like that wasn’t needed anymore.
“I got up to pee in the middle of the night and overheard you and Zach talking,” Jasmine said with an accusing look.
I closed my eyes. Zach would have known that she was listening. No human could sneak up on an Archon. He’d known, and he hadn’t bothered to warn me. He’d just shockingly laughed at my retort and then disappeared.
“I’m so sorry you found out that way,” I said, opening my eyes. “I was going to talk to you—”
“You promised,” she interrupted me, anguish in her tone. “You promised you were only going to find the spearhead and hide it, not find it and use it!”
“No, I didn’t promise.” Even then, I must have known that I was only running from my destiny, but I couldn’t hide. “Besides, things have changed—”
“Yeah, your guilt trip over seeing those people,” she interrupted. “What about feeling guilty over what you’re doing to me? Or to Adrian? I know he can’t be supporting this!”
“I’m supporting Ivy,” Adrian said very quietly. “This is her decision, not mine.”
“Jasmine,” I began.
She gestured at me almost violently. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear you explain why you chose strangers over your own family.”
“I didn’t,” I said, frustration mixing in with my sorrow. “I chose right over wrong.”
Tears started to stream down her face. “Fine. You throw your life away on a weapon you know is too powerful for you, but don’t expect me to watch. I’ll stay here, with the people you care about more than you care about me.”
I took in a deep breath, trying to absorb the emotional blow while also reminding myself that this wasn’t the real Jasmine talking. It was her anger and her fear speaking.
“That’s fine,” I managed to say calmly. “You have every right to decide where you want to be, and I’m glad you’ll be safe. I love you, Jasmine.” My voice wavered when I said her name, but then I forced myself to continue in a strong,
steady tone. “I’ll always love you. Remember that.”
“Yeah.” Her voice broke like a wineglass dropped from a high ledge. “I’ll put that in my memory banks next to the rest of my dead family members.”
Couldn’t she see that I didn’t want to hurt her, Adrian or anyone else? If I had a choice, I would never have been born with this destiny. But I didn’t have a choice about that. All I had was trying not to screw up even more than I already had.
Adrian came closer, drawing me into his arms. “That’s enough, Jasmine. Maybe you should take a walk, before you say anything else to Ivy that you’ll regret.”
She sniffed hard, her tears still flowing. “Doesn’t matter,” she muttered as she started striding down the hill. “All I have left are regrets now.”
I didn’t speak as I watched her go. I’d told her I loved her and I was sorry. The rest was all noise to her. Maybe even that was, too. Right now, nothing that came out of my mouth would make her feel better, except the one thing I couldn’t say.
“You’re doing the right thing,” Costa told me quietly.
The sound that came out of me was too strangled to be a laugh. “You’re literally the only person aside from Zach who thinks so.”
Costa came closer. “Not true. Adrian knows it, too, deep down beneath his fear of losing you. More importantly, you know it’s true. That’s why you’re strong enough to do it.”
I looked down the hill where my sister was walking away as fast as her legs could carry her. Her blond hair whipped around her shoulders from her rapid pace, and her shoulders were shaking from tears.
“I don’t feel strong,” I whispered as Jasmine disappeared from my sight. I might never see her again, and that knowledge felt like a weight on my chest that wouldn’t lift.
“Fifty-two years.”
That turned my attention back to Costa even as I felt Adrian stiffen behind me. “What?”
“That’s how long I was trapped in the Bennington realm, measuring by the time that passed in the real world.” Costa’s lips thinned, and something dark flashed over his expression. “I don’t want to know how long it was over there. It’s awful to have no control over a single part of your life, right down to whether you live or die. It’s even worse when there are actual monsters around you. I saw some people I used to know from the realm in the village down there,” he added, almost offhandedly. “Since they were in the same realm I’d been in, I wasn’t surprised to run into them. I was only surprised by how few of them were left. All the rest are dead.”
A tremor went through Adrian, yet his grip on me remained secure and comforting. “That’s on me.”
“Some of it,” Costa acknowledged, his deep brown gaze unflinching. “It’s also on Demetrius, since he took over after you left. Turned that place into the same shit hole as the other demon realms, to hear them describe it. Our prison was cushy by comparison under you, and you took me and Tomas when you left, so as I’ve said before, you and I are good. But the rest of them...you still owe them, Adrian. I know you’ve been paying on that debt since you walked away from the demon prince life, but you’ve gotta ante up some more before this is all over.”
Was he trying to make me feel better, or make Adrian feel worse? My expression must’ve said what I was thinking, because Costa addressed it head-on.
“You’re at the center of this decision, Ivy, but it’s not only about you. Adrian has a part to play, too. Years ago, he rescued me and Tomas, and after what we’d been through, we deserved the chance to make new lives for ourselves. All those people still trapped deserve that chance, too, and you might be the one destined to give it to them, but you can’t do it alone. You need Adrian’s help, and him giving it is payment on the debt he still owes—not to me, but to a lot of other people.” His voice became deeper and more resonant. “And I’m going to stand by your sides to help you to do it. I want those people to get their shot at a second chance. After all, it’s the best thing I can do with the second chance that I was given.”
I blinked hard, wondering if I was going to spend every day of what might be the very short remainder of my life trying not to break into tears.
“Thank you, Costa.” My voice husky from my continued attempts to stem the waterworks. “But if you want to help me help those people, don’t go with us. Stay with Jasmine.” He opened his mouth to argue, and I held up a hand and said, “Please. If things don’t go well with me, she’ll need you. Like she said, she has no one else left.”
He still looked like he wanted to argue, but Adrian said, “You’re right, Costa. This isn’t just Ivy’s fight. It’s mine, too, and like you said, for many more reasons than just me wanting to keep her safe. You’ve already fought against demons and minions many times. You have no debt to pay off, but I do, so let me take this, bro. You take care of Jasmine. She needs someone as strong as you to help her get through this.”
Costa still looked like he wanted to argue, but finally, with an audible click of his jaw, he shut his mouth and nodded. I’ll stay, that nod said. I don’t like it, but I’ll do it.
“Thank you,” I said fervently. “I can’t tell you how relieved it makes me to know that Jaz won’t go through this alone. If it’s not too much, I have one more favor to ask.”
Costa looked surprised. “What is it?”
“Brutus,” I said, turning to look at the tent the gargoyle was hiding in. “I know he’s not your favorite person, but he also has no one aside from me and Adrian. If something... If something happens to both of us, will you take care of him?”
I couldn’t bear to think of Adrian possibly dying, but Brutus was my friend. That meant I had to deal with the fact that neither Adrian nor I might make it out of this. If the worst happened, I wanted Brutus taken care of, and I couldn’t ask Zach. Brutus would rather die than live out his days in a perpetually sunny realm with only vegetables to eat.
Costa cast a look at Brutus’s tent, too, his expression showing his reluctance. Then a deep sigh came out of him.
“I’ll do it, but I can’t promise to cuddle him or let him lick my face like you do.”
A breath of laughter escaped me even as I fought back more tears. “Deal, but you’ll be surprised how fast he grows on you.”
“I hope I never find out,” Costa said dryly.
I laughed again even though these topics made me feel like I was being devoured from the inside out. Still, the least I could do was refuse to wallow in the sadness.
“One more thing before we go, Costa,” Adrian said.
Costa raised a brow. “What is it?”
Adrian let go of me and went over to Costa. Then he put his arms around him and hugged him. Hard.
“When I walked out of that realm with you and Tomas, I had no friends, no family, a raging drug addiction, a past filled with unforgivable sins and a future filled with an even worse destiny. You told me to take all that and use it to fight instead of allowing it to destroy me. Before anyone else thought so, especially me, you believed that I could be more than what I was. Thank you, Costa. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the first person to believe in me.”
Costa hugged him back. Though his long, thick black hair hid most of his face, I caught sight of a new, shiny trail on his cheek that had nothing to do with a trick of the sunlight.
“Anytime, bro,” Costa said in a choked voice.
This time, I didn’t even try to hold back my tears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
ZACH HAD SAID that I’d see him again, and he was right. Not long after Adrian’s emotional goodbye to Costa, the Archon appeared to ask Adrian and me if we were ready to leave. I cast a long, pained look in the direction that Jasmine had disappeared to, but said yes.
“I’ll get Brutus,” Adrian said, and went into the gargoyle’s tent. Moments later, both of them came out, and Brutus gave
a wary look at the bright sunlight around him.
“We don’t have passports or money,” I reminded Zach.
“Here,” Zach said, producing slips of paper out of thin air with the ease of a magician pulling coins from behind a child’s ear. “You can use these two for passports and the rest for currency. Adrian has accounts he can access for more.”
I looked at the blank slips of paper. This wasn’t the first time Zach had given me the equivalent of sticky notes to use as formal identification and/or money. Normal Archon glamour was only good for a specific illusion, like making Brutus appear to be a seagull to everyone except me, Adrian and other Archons. This type of glamour was next level. It not only fooled the human and demon eye—it also fooled computer scanners, too.
“What part of these are the passports?” Since I could see through Archon glamour, it all looked the same to me.
Zach pulled out two strips from the others. “Passports.”
I turned to Adrian. “This dress doesn’t have pockets.”
He took the two “passport” strips and put them in his right pants pocket. In the left, he put the money strips. “What names are on the passports?”
“Whatever names you tell them to be,” Zach replied.
Well, that was convenient.
Zach held out his hands. Adrian and I shared a weighted look. Once we took Zach’s hands, there was no turning back.
I placed my hand in the Archon’s open palm. Adrian did, too, and held on to Brutus with his other hand. With that, Zach pulled all of us through the gateway and that familiar stomach-flopping, free-falling sensation hit me.
The realm-traversing ride ended with me throwing up on the banks of whatever river we’d been deposited on. A city was in front of us, and across the river, it looked like another one was behind us. Thankfully, we appeared to be on the edge of the town in front of us, so we didn’t have an audience for either our impromptu arrival or my hurling. Brutus sprinted off in search of shade, and for a few wrenching moments, I was too sick to be embarrassed by how I was puking like a teenager after a bout of binge drinking. Then I mentally scolded myself.