“Oh, shoot! This isn’t good.”
“Okay, Casper, listen. Whatever you do, do not look into Ms. Spalding’s eyes. I repeat: do not look into her eyes. She’ll think you’re looking at her large, hairy mole.”
“I’m scared. What do I do? I’ve never gotten in trouble before.”
“I know, Casper. Just try and stay calm, okay?” I said.
Ms. Terry came speeding down the hallway to grab Casper by the arm.
“Casper, Ms. Spalding is calling you into her office. Do you hear her?”
“Yes, Ms. Terry,” he replied.
I knew I had to find Tammy. There was no way I was going to let her get away with that.
When I confronted her, she was by the lockers with Samantha, Cassie, and Jessie. They were all putting on lipstick and grooming their hair the same way. Cassie and Jessie were older kids—I could tell because of how tall they were. I approached Tammy as calmly as I could.
“Tammy.”
“What do you want?”
“Uh,” I said.
I couldn’t speak as properly as I wanted to. The girls just stared at me with this hard-core look on their faces. I wanted to scream, “Diarrhea face, diarrhea face!” and run away as fast as I could.
“Could I perhaps speak to you in private, please?”
“Fine, but make it fast. I have things to do, people to talk to. You know?”
“Sure.”
We walked over to the janitor’s closet.
“Tammy, why did you lie and say Casper was bullying you? He’s a good kid and doesn’t deserve this. Now he’s getting in trouble for something he didn’t even do. I mean, don’t you feel at least a bit bad that he might be getting suspended because of you? How would you like it if someone lied about you and said you were saying stuff you really weren’t?”
She just stared at me like I was stupid.
“I’ll do you one fave, kid.” (Kid? Who was she calling a kid? She was starting to make my blood boil.) “I’ll make sure your little friend doesn’t get suspended under one condition. I’m looking for a mascot for my party this Saturday. I think you’ll fit the costume just fine.”
I could believe that little @#$%! She was trying to use me! I didn’t know what to say. If I didn’t do it, Casper would get suspended or even expelled. And if I did, I’d be the laughingstock of the decade. Either way, it was bad.
“What kind of a costume?”
“I knew you’d say yes. Be at this address by six thirty. I’ll show you there.”
“Oh, come on!”
“See you then, punk!”
“Wait, how am I supposed to know you’re really gonna tell them the truth and let Casper off the hook?”
“It’s already taken care of.”
Just like that, she clip-clopped away in her platform shoes and miniskirt.
Note 14
The rumor around school the next day was that Tammy was having this huge party at her house. Everyone who was cool and who dressed like Tammy was invited—all of the eighth-grade girls and some of the guys, almost the entire seventh grade, and just a handful of sixth graders. It was clear that if you didn’t dress to Tammy’s standards, you didn’t receive an invite. The school was ecstatic. There were so many rumors about who would be at the party. I didn’t even know why she was throwing a party. It wasn’t her birthday. It wasn’t because she’d won anything. No one seemed to wonder about this but me. Why just decide to have a party one day out of nowhere? This really frustrated me, but I had no time to think about it. I had to catch up to Casper and make sure he was okay. I tried to walk down the hall as quickly as I could without bumping into anyone I knew, but all I heard was “Dude!” and “Bro!” and “That’s crazy!” and “I can’t wait!” They were all reading Tammy’s flyer while they were saying these words.
“Dude, she lives in a mansion,” I heard one of the boys say.
“No, she lives in a castle on a hill overlooking gold water,” some other boy said.
“Whatever, man. She’s rich, and this is going to be the best party of the year.”
“We cannot miss it.”
“I’m totally stoked.”
“The word is there’s going to be live music.”
“And she has a pool!”
“It’s going to be awesome.”
I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. The guys were acting as if they’d never been to a party before. The girls were acting as if this were prom night. I mean, it was just a party! Hellooo? Am I the only one that gets it? Everyone was acting as if they were going to be a part of some major movie or fashion show. If only you could hear everything the girls were saying. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”—I must have heard it a billion times.
“What am I going to wear?” a girl asked.
“I still don’t know what I’m going to wear either,” another girl said.
“Yeah, me neither. I’m thinking about just asking Tammy ’cause I have, like, no idea.”
“Well, either way, I can’t wait. Friday night is going to be epic.”
When I told Mom about the party, she was excited. More excited than I would ever be, for sure.
“This is great,” she said. “You’re going to have so much fun at the party.”
I didn’t tell Mom I was the mascot. I didn’t want her asking me any questions. So I just kept quiet about it the entire time. I checked my laptop when I got home—about fifty times. I was waiting for a message from Casper. I had written to him twelve times and still no reply. It was almost seven, and I hadn’t heard from Casper, which was not good. Not good at all. Thirty minutes went by when finally I heard then a bing sound coming from my laptop. Hooray! I opened up the message and read.
To: Joey
From: Casp
Dude,
You won’t believe it.
To: Casp
From: Joey
Bro,
What’s up?
To: Joey
From: Casp
I lost the pictures, bro. I don’t know how to put it. I lost them.
To: Casp
From: Joey
How did you lose those pictures? Casper, if the wrong person gets those pictures, we’re doomed.
To: Joey
From: Casp
I know. I thought I had them in my backpack, but when I looked, they weren’t there.
I wanted to choke Casper. Then I got a another e-mail.
To: Joey
From: Flynn
Bro! You would not believe what just happened.
To: Flynn
From: Joey
Flynn!! You’re alive!!! What happened?????
To: Joey
From: Flynn
Bro, it was the weirdest thing. One minute I was in there bawling receiving the biggest threats in my entire existence, and then Ms. Spalding gets a call. Dude, I don’t know. It was so weird. She just let me go after that. I think she got some bad news or something worse than what I did must of happened.
To: Flynn
From: Joey
It’s a good thing to hear that. But now we have an even bigger problem on our hands!
Then Flynn and Casper started e-mailing me at the same time. I thought my laptop was going to blow. They both were like “Dude!! Bro!! What??” I didn’t know who to write to first, so I called a Code 11emergency meeting. There was just too much to talk about.
To: Joey
From: Flynn
Dude, what do I do?
To: Joey
From: Casp
What? What is it?
To: Flynn, Casp
From: Joey
Dudes!!!
To: Joey
From: Flynn
BRO!!!!!!
To: Joey
From: Casp
DUDE!!!
To: Joey
cc: Flynn
From: Casp
BRooooooo! Helloooooo, are you dead?
To: Casp, Flynn
Fro
m: Joey
EVERYONE CHILL OUT. Code 8 emergency meeting 12:00!
Note 15
“All right, we’ve got several problems on our hands, guys. Number one: Tammy’s party. Number two: Tammy’s party. Number three…”
“Tammy’s party?” said Casper and Flynn.
“No! Tammy’s pictures!”
“Oooooh,” said Casper.
“Oh, that’s right,” said Flynn. “We lost the damn pictures.”
“It’s important to stay calm and act as if none of this is happening to us. We cannot act like suspects.”
“Riiiiiiiight,” said Casper.
“Got it,” said Flynn.
“That means no looking over your shoulder. We have to act as if we have no clue what anyone is talking about. If we get asked about the pictures, which can be at any given time, we have to be ready to cover,” I said.
“Right,” said Casper.
“Yeaaaah,” said Flynn.
“Copy that,” Casper joked.
“Roger that.” Flynn laughed.
“Okay, let’s address the next problem. I have to go to Tammy’s party tonight.”
“What?” said Flynn.
“Dude, why?” asked Casper.
“I’m the mascot at her party,” I said.
“What? Why?” they both said.
“Is this some kind of a joke, bro?” Casper said.
“I wish it was, bro. But Tammy’s got her hooks in deep.”
“What do you mean? Why did you volunteer to take that extracurricular activity? There’s plenty of other sports, like baseball, hockey—the book club, even,” said Casper.
“Guys, I didn’t volunteer, okay?” I said. “I kind of had to.”
“What are you not telling us, bro?” said Casper.
“I had to do it,” I said, “or you were going to get suspended, Casper, probably even expelled.”
“What? For something I didn’t do?” said Casper.
“Yes! So I told her I’d play along with her little party games and I’d do what she wanted and then she’d let you off the hook,” I said to Casper.
“Off the hook? For what, bro? Something I didn’t do?” said Casper.
“Dude, the girl is sick,” said Flynn.
“Well, this sick girl is getting away with a lot. She’s really good at it, too, especially when she fake cries,” I said.
“We have to do something about this,” said Casper. “She can’t keep getting away with this.”
“Dude, she rules this school now,” said Casper.
“No, she doesn’t. We can’t let her,” I said.
“What are you suggesting?” asked Casper.
“Listen, I’ve got a plan. First, you guys have to find a way to get into that party. We got to get into her room and find anything we can use to get her back and hit her where it hurts.”
“Bro, I like that idea!” said Flynn.
“Yeah, awesome idea, but how are we getting in in the first place? There’s a guest list and we’re not on it. Plus rumor has it she has security guards at her place.”
“Listen, if we stick together and stick to one plan, we can do anything.”
“Nice,” said Casper.
“All right, I’m in. How are we gonna do this?”
“That’s what I like to hear!” I said, excited. “Okay, so I have to be at Tammy’s house by six thirty, but the party doesn’t start till seven. During that time I’ll figure out a way to get you guys in. I got these walkies for us.” I reached into my backpack. “We’ll use them to communicate. When I say ‘red,’ it means the place is too hot—too risky—and you have to stay where you are. If I say ‘blue,’ it’s cooled down and you can proceed carefully. ‘Green’ means go fast, real fast, and ‘black’ means run for your life. Does everyone have that?”
Flynn looked at the walkies like he had never seen them before. He was totally spaced out. I had to wake him up.
“BROOO! Earth to BRO.”
He just looked at me, puzzled. I was beginning to get worried for him.
“Yeah, I got it. We just got to make sure we’re smooth,” Flynn said.
“This is going be sooooo rad, man!” Casper said.
We laughed at the idea of getting back at Tammy for everything she’d done. First for setting school rules, second for lying and getting Casper into trouble for something he didn’t do, and last for taking Samantha away. We had to seek revenge, the ultimate revenge.
Note 16
The address on the note Tammy gave to me was 566 Rainbow Street. “DON’T BE LATE,” it read at the bottom of the note, next to a very fancy signature. When I arrived at the house, I saw that it was surrounded by a gate, which seemed to be a hundred feet high from where I was standing. I then had to push a button to proceed any farther.
“Hello?” said a man’s voice.
I cleared my throat before answering. I wanted to sound grown-up and mature, but I think I failed miserably.
“Um, hello?” I said. Unfortunately, it came out in a way that sounded as if I was confused. “I’m here to see Tammy.”
“Name?” the man asked drily.
“Joey Turner.” I must admit I felt a little scared. I thought maybe a net was going to be thrown over my head, and I would be whisked away into thin air.
“Come in,” the voice said as the large gate opened. I could start to see the front of the yard and the large double doors at the top of the long staircase. I had just walked up to the big brown doors when they were abruptly opened by a man dressed in a black suit.
“Good evening, sir,” he said. “Ms. Grey will see you in the main hall.”
Sir? Main hall? I wondered if we were in one of those movies adults like to watch.
“Right this way, sir.” He continued to lead me into a large hall past a large, very creepy set of stairs. Where did it lead?
The house was huge, bigger than the school gym, definitely bigger than the school cafeteria. It was almost the size of the entire middle school. The tall man dressed in black then said, “Ms. Grey will be right with you.” He looked into my eyes. I noticed that he had a pimple the size of a hot-air balloon smack in the middle of his long, thin nose and it was sprouting curly hair. EWWWWW.
I only stood there puzzled, afraid that if I moved he’d come closer and that thing would burst on me. He raised an eyebrow at my facial expression and motioned for me to sit.
I sat at a round table and watched as he walked away. I closed my eyes to try and get the awful vision out of my head. But with my eyes closed, my hearing improved, and I could hear every noise in the house.
Grrrrrrr.
What was that? The sound of a dog—not just any dog, but a rottweiler. I jumped out of my seat and on top of the side table. My palms began to sweat.
“Hi, loser!”
I never thought I would be so relieved to hear Tammy’s voice.
“Sit, boy. Scared of a little pup, I see,” Tammy said.
“No, never.”
“Sure you weren’t, loser. Anyway, here’s your costume. Enjoy wearing it tonight. I think it suits you rather well.”
“Listen, Tammy, I’m only doing this one thing for Casper. After that we don’t have to speak again.”
“Sure we don’t. There’s a changing room to the left of the staircase.”
As Tammy walked up the long staircase with her pup, I wanted to throw my shoe at her. Just one shoe at her big head!
If only she knew what we had in store for her. She was going to wish she never messed with me or any of my friends. In fact, she was going to wish she never came to Westhill Middle School.
I found a closet where I knew no one would hear me, and used the walkie to contact Flynn and Casper.
“Okay, guys, I’m in. I think I know where her room is.”
“All right. Now, how are we going to get in, genius?” said Casper.
“Well, um, I haven’t figured that out yet, guys. S
ecurity is kind of tough. Actually, it’s out-of-control tough. I’ll figure it out. Just stand by. I repeat: stand by.”
“Copy.”
I took a last look at the costume before I put it on. It was a hamster, she said, but it looked more like a dirty rat to me. What point was she trying to make? I didn’t know. But I was going to make sure I incorporated some rats into our megaplan.
Note 17
The line to Tammy’s house reached the far end of the street and wrapped around the neighborhood. The entire school was lined up outside!
And all I ask: Why? Why, Tammy? What are you trying to prove? What do you have to say other than that you have lots of money, your parents are rich, you live in a big house, and you’re too good to shop at Target? We get it.
It was 6:05 and everyone was getting checked in. I saw that the first five people weren’t even on the list. Many kids were turned down at the door. I didn’t get it. Why did the entire middle school want to be at Tammy’s party? Sure, there would be a live band, lots of food, and gift bags filled with surprises. But so what?
While everyone in the house, including Tammy, was busy checking the guest list, I decided to find out where Tammy’s room was. So I searched high and low and eventually I found it. Yes, I found it.
Her room was bigger than mine, that was for sure. I lived in a shoebox compared to her. Everything was well organized in her room. It was too perfect. Clothes neatly folded. Dresses hung. No wire hangers! Shoes neatly put in rows from darkest to lightest colors. There had to be something here she wouldn’t want anyone to see. The question was, where? I knew I needed to call backup. I called Casper and Flynn.
“Hey, guys, I think I found a way in. It’s not the safest way, but it is a way.”
“All right, let’s hear it,” said Casper.
“Yeah, come on, we’re tired of waiting out here,” said Flynn.
“Do you guys see the window with the purple-and-yellow drapes? You know, the one all the way at the top in the back of the house?”
“Oh no.”
“Code green, green, green, guys. We don’t have too much time,” I shouted.
“No way, dude!”
“Guys, it’s the only way. Everyone’s at the front of the house. I’m going to tie some sheets together and you guys are going to climb. Just like in PE. Nothing different.”
“Nothing different? Yeah, right! Only difference is if we get caught, we’re more dead than your goldfish from kindergarten.”
“All right, all right, no negativity needed here. We gotta do this. We don’t really have much of a choice if you think about it.”
“He’s right. I’m down!” said Casper.
“I guess you’re right.”