Chapter 4
Oh how I miss the beautiful land, the grass bent sideways by the ceaseless wind. My heart is torn into thousands of pieces. I am a mad Scot, mad for the land that was once my beautiful, dangerous home, a home with cliffs on all sides, with hillsides of mossy green peat sweeping down through seaside mists. There, near the water, lay crescent shapes of dark sand beaches, sometimes hidden by the gray, choppy sea. The never ending bluster of wind, mixed with rain and snow moves across the shoreline at a slant. And the water, forever on the rock faces, burbles through this boggy pasture land…
When I dream, I am reminded of the land we left; the land my father fought for yet could not keep. I don’t know what day it is anymore. Time seems to have no meaning when you don’t know where you are going. I look over to see Liam, and he makes a sorry sight. His head is bent down in his arms, and I hear him moaning. I put my arm around him for comfort and for warmth, but I really do it to stay connected. Although we have a destination in mind, the city, when we get there and what we’ll do remains a mystery.
I sometimes feel strength leaving me. Giving up would be an easy thing to do, but I know I can’t. We all depend now on each other, but poor little Liam is only seven and constantly hungry and tired, and Mama… well, the pregnancy is hard on her, and I worry about her most. Her pride and strength seems to be slipping away with every day we are lost without a home.
Papa looks like a wild man. He keeps himself together, yet I know he is close to going crazy. He looks like a man who must do something, but he is angry because he has no idea what it is he is supposed to do.
And here we sit, in a tiny closet in a church far from home, having to rely on the kindness of strangers to help us as we move towards the unknown city, the place Mama said she would never go. The days grow colder, and the nights have a bitter chill to them. The church has a small stove, but without fuel, it’s hard to even warm up some water for a cup of tea. Still, I have to hold out some hope, hope that the Lord will not abandon us in our hour of need, hope all will be well with Mama once we get settled, hope Papa will lose the wild look in his eyes, hope that dreams of happiness will come back…
The days blend together into a dense fog, but I think it was only two weeks ago when Uncle Willie came to our croft to warn Papa to be ready. Papa didn’t need that warning: he already knew what was coming. The Highland is large, but news travels swiftly, like fast moving wind over grass. Many people were forced from their cottages to make way for the herds. It was only a matter of time before our little piece of land would be taken over too…
The Sunday after Willie’s visit, Papa got into a fight with Mr. Selby right outside the stone fence at Kilmun church. The church is such a special place in Argyll. No one causes trouble there, yet Papa was in no mood to care about proper church behaviour.
“Selby, we need to have words,” Papa quietly said.
“For goodness sake Fraser, don’t you know where you’re standing? This is the Lord’s Day, not a time for arguments. If you need to speak to me about matters, you know where you can find me. Kindly leave me in peace.”
Mr. Selby tried moving past Papa to make his way up the hill, but he was stopped in his tracks by my father, a man twice his size. With teeth clenched, Papa continued to get Mr. Selby’s attention. “Sir, although it pains me to call you that, we must speak. I know you do not own the land but manage it for other unseen interests. As such, you then must be the person to speak for those interests. If not you, then who?”
Mr. Selby remained silent. Other people passed by with an ear to what was happening. Mama had a hold of both Liam and I. We know many churchgoers, and as they passed, Mama would make a gesture of greeting, but the look in her eyes also suggested now was not the time to talk. The best thing to do would be to move away from her husband and the property manager.
“Once again Selby, I must ask about these unseen interests, these absentee landlords who care nothing for my hard work. Even a blind man can see what is happening in Argyll. We are being herded up like sheep, just like little sheep, and being replaced by the very same thing.” Papa was within inches of Mr. Selby’s face, and his voice starting getting louder. Mr. Selby looked around for help, but none was coming to him. The sweat started to pour from his face as Papa continued. “We are like sheep, and just like the Bible story, we are being led to the slaughter. But unlike our Lord, Mr. Selby, who took the suffering given to him by those who wished to see him dead, I will not take such punishment without fighting back. I will speak up, and I will act. Do we understand one another?”
Selby simply stared at Papa for a moment, and then he got the courage to finally speak. “Yes, we understand one another Fraser, but you must know I am but a simple messenger. If it were up to me, things in these parts would remain the same. Honest folk doing honest work is what has built this country, yes it has, and far be it from me to change the natural order of things.” Mr. Selby seemed to grow more confident with his words. Unlike papa who did not know how to read, Mr. Selby was an educated man who knew how to choose his words carefully. “Yes Fraser, what is happening in these parts is sad indeed. Absentee landlords with their large interests do not care about the daily life and hardships of good, honest, Highland folk. But don’t lose hope. Not all land is being taken by the oncoming herds, not every crofter is being asked to leave and find some other type of livelihood. Perhaps I could put in a good word too…”
“So there we have it,” interrupted Papa. “You are going to save me. You are going to go out of your way to save my family. You are a true Christian.” Papa spat on the ground disgusted. “In front of the Lord’s house, you would try to turn yourself into my family’s saviour. I knew you to be shrewd in business Selby, but not a liar as well.” Suddenly, Papa struck a blow across Mr. Selby’s face that sent him reeling against the stone fence. The force sent Mr. Selby’s head arcing backwards. His skull hit the stone wall and he fell in a crumpled heap to the ground.
All was quiet. Liam had his head buried in Mama’s side, trying to hide. I stared in disbelief at my father. I’ve always known him to be a man of peace. Willie has always been the hothead, he would even say so himself, yet my father’s actions were incredibly violent. As Mr. Selby tried to get himself up, I could see small drops of blood forming on the stone below where his head lay. He was having a difficult time of it, yet Papa was not done with him.
“You take a message back to your unknown interests Mr. Selby. I will not be driven from my home. My children will not grow up in places where they are strangers. I swear on the life of my yet unborn child, do not push a Scotsman trying to protect his family.”
“You know there is nothing you can do,” Selby snorted as he desperately tried to pull himself up from the ground. “I tried to be reasonable with you Fraser, tried to tell you I’ll put in a good word, but you will receive no help from me.”
“I’m not sure if you realized it or not yet, but I don’t need your help Selby.” Papa stuck Selby across the face once again, sending him back to the ground. I’m sure things might have gone very ill for Mr. Selby, yet Reverend MacRae, the minister of Kilmun, came running down the steps as fast as his old legs could carry him.
“Fraser,” the Reverend yelled, “What are you doing on the steps of the Lord’s House? Stop at once. Do not strike that man again, or you will be kicked out of this church never to step foot in it again.”
“Reverend, this is none of your concern. I’m sorry I’m outside of your church and hope for the Lord’s forgiveness, but this man deserves everything coming to him.”
“You are talking to a man ordained by the Church of Scotland, Fraser. Do not tell me what a man does and does not deserve. Do not hit him again, unless you are also looking to pick a fight with the town guard.” The Reverend went to Mr. Selby’s side to help him up from the ground. Mr. Selby looked awful. Welts were starting to appear on his cheeks where he was struck, and there was a ste
ady stream of blood coming from out the back of his head. Reverend MacRae took out a piece of cloth from his pocket to cover the wound. Blood started to cover the cloth as it turned from white to red in a matter of moments.
“Go home John,” said the Reverend quietly, “And pray for forgiveness for what you have done here on the holiest day of the week.”
“I will pray Reverend, but not for forgiveness. You know what is going on around you. The man who you now help is bringing nothing but pain and suffering to the good people of this land. Yes I will pray, but only for strength to fight against men like the one you now hold.”
“Don’t take the law into your own hands John.”
“I’m afraid, Reverend, things will go bad no matter what I do.” Papa turned to leave with the rest of us following behind. Liam still had his head buried in Mama’s side, crying uncontrollably, while I continued to stare at my father in disbelief. I did the smart thing and kept my mouth shut. I looked back at Reverend MacRae and Mr. Selby. The final image of the two men was truly sad, for the Reverend was trying to help carry Mr. Selby up the steps, yet with each movement of his legs, Mr. Selby would wobble and fall back down. From the church windows, many curious people were looking, yet no one offered a hand to help.
After the church, it didn’t take too long for the expected to happen. Two days later, Willie came to our croft right after breakfast. The news wasn’t good...
“John, Fiona,” started Willie. “They’re coming today. Last night, while having a pint at The Argyll Arms, a couple of strangers came in. It didn’t take long for the two of them to start talking. They’re a couple of hired thugs, and they’re here to make sure the clearances happen without problems.”
“So what did you do?” asked Papa.
“I made sure they could hear me as plain as you could hear me right now. I said no man who calls himself a Son of Scotland would ever work for a noble British bastard. Men who take on that kind of work are no better than pigs rolling around in their own filth!”
“I’m sure that got them interested,” Mama replied.
“No doubt about it. I cursed them up and down, but I can’t repeat what I said here. Those ruffians were not interested in exchanging words though. They wanted to exchange fists. It would have gone badly for them too if they tried to start something in the pub. Hardly anyone likes what is going on and the chance to take a crack at someone foolish enough to get paid by the British is tempting.”
“So you didn’t fight?” Papa asked.
“Not that I didn’t want to, but those men were smart enough to know when they were outnumbered. Soon after the insults, they quickly left.”
“Shouldn’t you be home protecting your own cottage?” asked Mama.
“Now is not the time to be alone,” Willie responded. “Now is the time to stand together, Fraser with Fraser. We may not save the house, but we can certainly give them hell for trying to take it away.”
Willie went back outside to the barn to find any tool he could turn into a weapon. He came back armed with a shovel. Mama ordered Liam and I back up to the loft. Under no circumstances were we to make noise. Papa made his way outside to stand beside Willie. He seemed surprisingly calm.
“Molly,” whispered Liam, “I can’t just stay up here and do nothing. This is not fair. I want to be outside.”
“Be quiet Liam. You mind your place. Mama said we had to wait here, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
“But Molly, you can’t tell me you like this any better than I do. This is my home, and this is your home too. I don’t want to leave. I’d miss Blane and the other boys. I tell you one thing Molly: any strange man tries to get a hold of me, I’ll bite him on the hand.”
“I’m sure you will.” I couldn’t help but smile. He may be young, but he is courageous.
Pulling a little at the roof, Liam and I were able to get a small view outside. Slowly coming over the hill I could see the outline of at least eight men. It was hard to tell from such a distance, but it looked like they were carrying sticks in their hands. At least, that’s what I hoped they were carrying. Upon closer view, a stick could easily turn into a musket, and that’s something an unarmed person can’t defend against.
Three of them were in uniform. Two uniforms looked like town guard, but there was one red uniform I had never seen before. Beside him was a man who looked like Mr. Selby but was too fat to be him. His face looked clean, not one that was red and covered in bruises. He had a piece of paper in his hand, and he was the one in charge, the one giving the orders. I could see Willie was pointing at two men and whispering to Papa. They were probably the two men Willie confronted at the pub.
“I wish to speak to the inhabitants of this dwelling,” the fat little man said as he waved the papers in his hand in the air.
For a moment, nothing was said. Papa and Willie simply tried to make themselves look bigger than they actually were, yet they were two against eight. It seemed like the silence would last forever, but soon enough, Papa spoke. “And who is it here that comes on my land without being asked? Who is it I’m now talking to?”
“You say this is your land, but nothing could be further from the truth. In my hand, I hold a copy of the deed to this property. The owner of the land you now stand on is Laird Stafford, did you not know? You have simply been renting this land and paying your due to one of his Lordship’s many administrators: Mr. Selby. It has also come to my attention that things went very ill for Mr. Selby two days ago at the local chapel. That was ill advised action on your part.”
“Mr. Selby had what was coming to him. If not for the Reverend, things may have gone much worse.”
“You Highlanders are nothing but savages,” snorted the man. “Selby does legal work for his Lordship who holds title over much of this wasteland you call home. I have come as his representative to tell you that you must leave this house never to return. For too long, you crofters have lived large off the charity of his Lordship. Yet the tides are changing, and Laird Stafford needs these lands for others who can pay more than you. Be well advised we only ask once. His Lordship will graciously provide some money for you to travel to the city if you quit this house peaceably. If not, the only thing you will receive is time rotting in a prison cell.”
The two town guards made a move towards the house. Before they could get to the door, my uncle jumped on them. He started to punch and kick in as many directions as he could. The two guards, taken by surprise at first, soon recovered and started back at Willie. Papa ran to his side to help, but he was stopped by the sound of a rifle shot. The man in the red uniform began to speak. “Do not go near them. If you do, the next shot will not be directed into the air, but rather at your chest. Restrain this man now.” The two thugs Willie insulted last night came up to Papa and started to tie his hands behind his back with rope. He tried to fight back, but there was nothing he could do against two men who had a musket for protection. In a matter of seconds, Papa was restrained and held down to the ground with each man’s knee pushing into his back. Suddenly, Mama came running out with a broom held high in the air.
“Let him go now,” she demanded. “You will not lay another finger on my husband or so help me I will see you in Hell by the end of this day.” Mama took the broom high up in the air with the intention of hitting one of Papa’s attackers on the head, but there were too many men, and before she could swing, the end of her broom was held from behind and easily forced from her hand. It was too much for her. Mama started to stagger and then collapse on the ground not ten paces from Papa.
“Fiona, are you well?” shouted Papa from the ground. “Get off me, can’t you see my wife is with child.” Yet the two men who held him down would not let go.
I know I was told not to move, but I couldn’t continue to watch. Willie was getting hurt badly. The two uniformed guards started to use clubs to beat him. He was lying by their feet, yet they woul
d not give up with the attack. Moving down the ladder as fast as possible, I ran outside to where Mama was lying quietly on the ground. “Mama,” I pleaded, “Are you hurt?”
Mama was slow to speak. “Oh Molly, I knew you couldn’t just stay put like I asked you to. I feel so weak. I can’t protect you the way I should. Whatever happens, make sure to protect your brother. Make sure Liam stays safe.”
“He’s scared Mama,” I said. “He talks bravely, but right now he’s hiding in the bed just like you asked him to.”
“That’s good,” Mama responded as she tried to get herself up off the ground.
As I was helping Mama to her feet, the two guards had my uncle up, but he could not stand on his own and fell right back down. After a couple of kicks to the ribs, Willie was brought back up to his feet again with the same result. “Leave him,” said the redcoat. “We’ll pick him up later when we leave. Mr. Robertson, give the order.”
“Yes, by all means.” Clearing his throat, Mr. Robertson delivered the news. “The lands of this area owned by the much honoured William Stafford, Laird of Argyll, will be forfeited of its inhabitants at once. Failure to leave these lands immediately will be met by swift punishment. Once vacated, any tenant found within five miles of a previously occupied house will be arrested and imprisoned. All members of the household will be given one hour to collect any personal effects that can be carried with them. Yes, I think that about says it all. No need to read through all the details.”
“One hour,” said the redcoat to Papa as he was pulled up from the ground. “Don’t try to do anything as we untie your hands. Look at your brother lying on the ground. Unlike yourself, we are not savages, but if we must, punishment can be handed out swiftly and cruelly.”
Papa’s hands were untied. He rushed to my side and held on to Mama and me closely. Tears started to well up in his eyes. I believe he would have given up his life right there and then if not for Liam, Mama, and I. He then turned to the redcoat. “What of my brother?” he demanded. “What are you going to do with him?”
“Him? The man who now lies on the ground? He will be taken to town and officially charged with assault. You cannot attack members of the town guard and get away with it.”
“Please sir, mercy for my brother.”
The redcoat eyed Papa carefully. “Let it not be said I am not a man who does not feel.” “If you vacate this house within the one hour given, I may look favourably on the charge laid against your brother.”
We were given a short amount of time to gather what we could. Mama was so weak she could do little to help. Poor Liam was struck dumb by everything. He simply sat beside Mama with his head buried in her breast. It was up to Papa and me to gather what we could. But we didn’t know where we were going, so how was it possible to know what to bring?
By the time we were finished, we came outside to find Uncle Willie and the two town guardsmen gone. The two men who had earlier held Papa down held torches. We walked by without saying a word. We walked slowly, almost like a walk of the dead, for what were we now but dead to this land. As we said our own goodbyes to the only home I have ever known, I turned around to see smoke and fire coming from the croft. Soon, our little cottage will be nothing but burnt wood and ash, I thought. Didn’t Uncle Donnan do the exact same thing in Quebec so long ago?
As I walk slowly behind my parents, I thought of an old bible story told to me by my mother. When God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of the wickedness of its people, there was one woman who escaped: the wife of Abraham’s cousin. But she did not want to leave, and when she turned back to see the city she loved, God turned her into a pillar of salt. I know it was a city of sin, but how lucky she was to not live with the pain of her loss. Unfortunately, we were not so lucky.