CHAPTER X
Clare's Discovery
'A closed bud containeth Possibilities infinite and unknown.'
Life went on very quietly with the three who were left. Elfie was thesunshine of the house; her ringing laugh and little snatches of song,as she came in and out, cheered all who heard her. And Clare, fitfuland uncertain in her bright moods, could not understand Elfie'sunfailing good-humour.
'You never will take life seriously,' she said to her one morning afterbreakfast, as they were waiting for the postman in the garden, andElfie had seated herself on the top bar of the gate, swinging herselfto and fro, and trilling out an old English ditty as she did so.
'I can't make cares when we have none,' she responded laughingly; 'Ihave never been so happy in my life as I am now.'
'I wish I could be contented with so little.'
'Oh, you! You're always straining after shadows, and won't live in thepresent at all. Now tell me, what have you to make you unhappy to-day?You're expecting a letter from Hugh, and Miss Villars is coming to teawith us this afternoon. Those are two pleasures for you. And thenlook at our weather! This is an ideal summer.
"Strange that summer skies and sunshine Never seem one half so fair, As when winter's snowy pinions Shake the white down in the air."
Why don't you live in the present?'
'Don't preach,' said Clare carelessly; 'it's too warm this morning toargue. Here comes that lazy man at last!'
Elfie sprang down and seized the letters with a bright nod of welcometo the stolid-looking postman.
'Here is one from Gwen! Agatha will be pleased; and here is Hugh's!Now, Clare, be happy! And there is not one for me, so I shall go toAgatha to hear how Gwen is getting on.'
She darted into the house, and Clare, sinking into a chair on the shadyverandah, prepared herself to enjoy one of Captain Knox's periodicalepistles. They were always full of life and interest; and Clare wasbeginning to feel a sick longing to have him back with her again. Evenas she read she let the letter fall in her lap whilst she mused uponthe past. 'I used to be so cross to him. I took all his love andattention so coolly. If I only had him back again, how different Iwould be! He was always so unselfish, and I was so selfish anddiscontented. I can't think now how I could have been unhappy when Iwas constantly seeing him. Oh, Hugh! if you could come to me now, Iwould never grumble again! One touch, one word, one look, if only Icould have it!'
And Clare's blue eyes filled with tears, and her sight was dim as shefinished reading her letter. She remained motionless for some minutesthen, and was rising slowly from her seat to go and hear the news ofGwen, when a slip of paper fluttered out of the envelope. It was apostscript as follows:--
'Here is Mr. Lester's motto on the carved scroll. It was in Arabic, asI thought, and the translation is something like this:--
'A closed bud containeth Possibilities infinite and unknown.'
Clare folded it up with a sigh.
'There is no clue there, that I can see. I will have another look atthe cupboard this afternoon.'
She joined her sisters, and heard a racy account of Gwen's experienceson board ship. She had fallen in with nice people--a Mr. and Mrs.Montmorency, going out to California for the third time to look aftersome property of theirs.
'We are great friends,' Gwen wrote. 'Mr. Montmorency is a clever,well-read man--can talk on any subject, and has been in California fornearly thirty years. His advice would be invaluable to Walter. I amasking them to come and pay us a visit when they are in ourneighbourhood, which they hope to be before long, and they havepromised to do so. Mr. Montmorency does not think farming pays inWalter's locality. He says there are many things more profitable; butI will not tell you all our talk. I spend most of my time with them.You may be interested in hearing that Clement Arkwright is on board.But I give him a wide berth. He asked some rather impertinentquestions the first time we spoke to each other. I showed him it wouldnot answer, and now we pass each other with a bow!'
'Who is Clement Arkwright?' asked Elfie.
Clare laughed.
'One of Gwen's old admirers. He has too much of her self-will anddogged pride to pull with her. Do you remember, Agatha, how we used toenjoy their wordy combats? I always thought that at the bottom of allher antagonism to him she really liked him; but she never would allowit.'
'I dare say he wonders at her going out alone,' said Agatha musingly;'she does not say where he is going. I remember he had a great idea ofshielding women from the brunt of life, as he used to call it, and thatwas one thing that Gwen could not stand.'
'What more does she say?' asked Clare.
'Not much. She says she means to study farming while she is away, andhopes to get valuable hints from Mr. Montmorency, who seems to be aperfect mine of information.'
'One of Gwen's sudden friendships!' observed Clare. 'I only hope itwill last out the voyage!'
She left the room and went to the study, where she spent the rest ofthe morning in trying to copy Mr. Lester's carving on the cupboard.She was very fond of this occupation, and had decorated several littletables and stools. She found Mr. Lester's handiwork a great help toher, and was ambitious of designing a cupboard herself, very much afterthe pattern of the study one.
As she was tracing a part of the delicate border edging the panels, shesuddenly started, and the thought flashed across her:--
'It must be one of these buds that contains the secret of the lock orspring, and that is the meaning of the words:--
'"A closed bud containeth Possibilities infinite and unknown."'
She passed her fingers over some thick buds that hung in festoons alongthe border, and then with finger and thumb she tried to move each onein succession. At last one began to revolve; she turned itbreathlessly, and after three or four revolutions, a sharp click, andthen the panel opened.
For one minute Clare stayed her hand--irresolute. She had discoveredthe secret, and the contents of the cupboard would be before her eyes.
Surprise, delight, and a little dismay were mingled in the discovery.Stories that Jane had told her of the mysterious cupboard that somethought contained proofs of a crime, came to her mind. The remembranceof the owner's express wish that it should remain locked, made herhesitate.
It was a battle between intense curiosity and the sense of honour; butthe latter prevailed. Clare closed the panel hastily, turned round thecarved bud till it was closed, and then walked to the window, turningher back on her temptation.
She heaved a sigh of relief.
'I am sure I deserve praise for such virtue. No one can taunt me witha woman's curiosity after this! Now the question is, shall I tell theothers? I don't think I will. It wouldn't do to let the maids getwind of it. I shall write and tell Hugh, of course. How interested hewill be! It was really rather clever of me to find it out, for it is awonderfully ingenious device. And I suppose the old man never dreamtof women deciphering his Arabic characters, much less following theambiguous hint given in his motto.'
And then sitting down at the writing-table, Clare commenced a letter atonce to Captain Knox. Her discovery delighted her, and for the rest ofthe day she was sunshine itself.
Miss Villars arrived in the afternoon, bringing with her two shy, lankygirls of fourteen and fifteen.
'I knew you would let me bring two of my visitors,' she said aside toAgatha; 'they are recovering from influenza. Their father is a curatein Liverpool, and I am trying to feed them up, and get a little colourin their cheeks before they go home again. They are rather shy, but itis such a pleasure for them to be in the country.'
Elfie soon took possession of the girls, and wandered round the gardenwith them, where their tongues unloosed, and they poured forth such aflood of chatter that she had no difficulty in entertaining them.
'We are having such a lovely time. Miss Villars' house is like one youread of in books. We never thought we should ever stay in one like it.We feel as if we are in fairyland
. You see, we are very poor, and onlykeep one servant, and there are seven of us at home, and our house isin a terrace, and smuts, and soot, and dust fly in at the windows allday long. Miss Villars is awfully nice, and she makes us enjoyourselves. At home one feels quite wicked if one reads a storybook,because there are so many of the boys' stockings to be mended, andcooking, and our own lessons in between, for we go to a day school forthree hours every morning. Now here, Miss Villars takes us out in thegarden after breakfast under her shady trees, and puts one of us in ahammock, and the other in an easy chair, and leaves us there with somedelicious books for a couple of hours. And then we see a dainty lunchcoming out to us about eleven o'clock, and we drive and play tennis,and she treats us just like she might her own sisters!'
Elfie, looking at the radiant faces and sparkling eyes of the twodelicate girls, envied Miss Villars the privilege of being able tobring such brightness and happiness into others' lives.
Meanwhile Clare was having a private talk with her friend, for aftertea Agatha had sped down to the village on one of her benevolenterrands.
'Have you found the true secret of happiness yet?' asked Miss Villarspresently. 'You look brighter than when I last saw you.'
'I may be brighter now, but I shall have one of my black moods againsoon. No, Miss Villars, I don't think I shall ever be satisfied inthis life. The more I have, the more I want, and you couldn't expectme to be happy with Hugh in Africa!'
She laughed as she spoke, but her smile soon died away.
'I want him back dreadfully, Miss Villars. I never dreamt I would misshim so much; and I have a horrible feeling that he will not come backat all. I think I should die if he did not! I long sometimes to goout to him. But I can't. I must just wait, and I hate waiting! Inever could wait for anything when I was a child, and it drives menearly wild!'
Clare spoke with such vehemence and passion that for a moment MissVillars thought it best not to speak. Then she said slowly,--
'Poor child! you take life's lessons hardly. And I can't help youexcept by sympathy. There is only One who can, and you will not go toHim for the patience and rest of soul you need.'
Tears filled Clare's blue eyes. She gazed away out of the window up tothe sweet summer sky, and her face grew wistful and sad.
'I am seeking Him,' she said in a low voice, 'but it all seems dark,and the Bible seems no help, and prayer a weariness; and then I give uptrying, and try to amuse myself, and make the time pass as best I can.'
Then Miss Villars did a thing which Clare owned to herself that no oneelse but Miss Villars could have done naturally. She took hold ofClare's hand, and with closed eyes and bent head began to pray.
A very short and simple prayer, but a strange thrill ran through Clareas she realized this was indeed speaking to One who was close to them.And nothing jarred her feelings. She only seemed to be drawn into thevery presence of her Saviour, who with open arms was waiting to receiveand bless her.
When Miss Villars ceased speaking, Clare's head still remained lowered,and there was perfect silence. It was broken by Elfie's return fromthe garden with the girls; and without a word Clare crept softly awayup to her own room, and Miss Villars left without seeing her again.
But up in her room Clare was kneeling by her bedside in a passion oftears.
'O God, help me, help me! I want to be right with Thee, I want thisrest of soul; give it to me. Oh, if Thou art waiting to bless, I amready, I am willing. Forgive me and save me for Christ's sake. Amen.'
She had never prayed so earnestly before.