“He looks like a nice chap. Why did he come to see Jollion?”
“I’m not really sure. But I think it’s something to do with the commander’s new battleship and his crew. William deals with troop movements. Soldiers, sailors, and airmen, and where they’re sent. Not that we have much of an air force at the moment. That’s what Winston Churchill’s endeavoring to build.”
Miles nodded, but she noticed the skeptical look in his eyes.
He leaned closer to his sister. His voice was quiet. “I gather from Ceci that Professor Steinbrenner and his children have been able to get out after all. But is it true the frau stayed behind?”
“That’s what I’ve heard.” Diedre was vague. “I don’t know any more, only what Greta knows. She’s expecting to go and meet them tomorrow, when they arrive from Paris.”
“She’s lucky. I can’t imagine many Jews being able to get out these days, after what we saw and heard in Berlin.”
Diedre responded noncommittally, not at all surprised by her brother’s comments. “I’m happy for her and for those children.”
A moment later Hanson came into the dining room, followed by two footmen and two maids. The first course, smoked salmon, was served, water and the white wine were poured, and lunch began.
Diedre, always the observer, saw that William was kept busy by Charlotte and DeLacy, who were both obviously plying him with questions as they ate.
Diedre was very conscious of Will being here, but then he was a man with enormous presence and charisma. She noticed how he seemed to suck up every bit of oxygen in a room and without any apparent effort. It was not only his good looks and easy charm that captivated but something else. He was well bred, mannerly, loaded with self-confidence, sure footed. He had once said to her that when a spy was a gentleman it didn’t seem like such a shabby business after all.
Great-Aunt Gwendolyn caught her eye, and asked, “I hope that bit of information I gave you recently was helpful, Diedre?”
“It was, yes. And thank you very much.”
“I’m always happy when I can be useful.”
Diedre smiled at her, thinking how well she looked, positively blooming. Perhaps her aunt would make her hundredth birthday party after all. She hoped so. Lady Gwendolyn was a special favorite of hers.
The earl, turning to his daughter, said, “I think you’re very lucky to work with a man like William Lawson, Diedre. He’s first-rate.”
“He is,” Diedre answered. “And I learn a lot from him every day.”
Gordon Lane and the two maids came and removed their plates, and within minutes the main course was being served. Today Charlotte had ordered a rack of lamb with roasted potatoes and mixed vegetables, a favorite of the entire family.
Sneaking a look down the table, Diedre saw that William seemed totally at ease, and was no doubt charming Aunt Charlotte and DeLacy, who was actually gazing at him with rapt attention. Oh my, Diedre thought, is he a secret lady killer? This thought amused her. She wanted to laugh, but swallowed the laughter, and cut into the lamb.
There was a lot of chatter and laughter around the table. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Diedre realized she was the quietest of all, but she was too caught up in her ruminations about Will to jump into the various conversations.
Seeing that he was holding his own, that in fact he had conquered them all in the shortest time, Diedre relaxed at last. What she was feeling surprised her. It was a kind of pride in him, for who he was, what he was. But then she had never doubted that he would fit in with her family.
During her many sleepless nights, when she had pondered about him, wanted him physically by her side, she had known deep down that he would measure up in any situation anywhere. There was no longer any doubt in her mind that she was in love with Will. The problem was she had no idea what he felt about her.
Rejection, she thought. Nobody wants to be rejected. Dare I make a move? Take the first step? Another thought struck her. Why had he telephoned her at Cavendon this morning? Because he was so close, only twenty minutes away? Had he actually hoped to be invited to lunch? She, who was so clever at her job, had no idea.
Her father startled her when he addressed Will at the other end of the table. The earl said, “I hope this question isn’t out of turn, Lawson. But what do you think about the latest rumbles surrounding Sudetenland, and the way the Sudeten Germans have broken off talks with the Czech government? And what about all the public disorder there? Isn’t it worrying?”
“The question’s not out of turn, your lordship, and yes, the situation is volatile. In fact, the press will be running more and more stories about the problems over there. I’m certain Chamberlain will try to appease Hitler yet again, but eventually appeasement’s not going to work.” Will paused, then added slowly, “In my opinion, the Führer will take all the surrounding countries, including Poland. It’s only a question of time, really.”
There was a silence at the table. The entire room went quiet. Everyone appeared slightly stunned, Diedre thought, and leaned forward, looked at Will.
He stared back at her, raised a brow. She nodded. After a moment, Will continued. “The rumors of war are really not rumors at all, but predictions. I don’t wish to frighten any of you, but you must be prepared. By next September or October Britain will be at war with Nazi Germany.”
Diedre said, “Papa, you believe in Winston Churchill, we all know that and we believe in him, too. Pity is, he’s on the backbenches at the moment. But at least he sees the world with clear eyes. He’s not living in fantasyland. That’s why he’s busy building battleships and trying to create an air force.”
Lord Mowbray nodded, his face set in grim lines. “You are correct, Lawson, we must be ready to fight. What was it that Nelson said at Trafalgar? I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.”
“‘England expects that every man will do his duty,’” Miles said. “And indeed we shall.”
* * *
A few minutes after dessert was finished, Charlotte rose and asked everyone to come to the yellow drawing room for coffee.
As they all stood up and began to walk out, Diedre noticed that her father had gone directly to William, spoken to him quietly. The two of them left together. She saw them walk into the library, and the door closed behind them.
She couldn’t help wondering what this was all about, then decided her father wanted to talk a little more about conscription. She was well aware how much this worried him, because of Charlie and the twins. Basically, he was concerned they would all enlist the moment they could. Certainly Noel Jollion had been talking about doing that, and he was very chummy with the three Stanton boys, might influence them.
Diedre walked into the drawing room with Cecily. They sat down together on the sofa near the window, and within minutes Hanson was organizing the two maids, who brought around cups of coffee, milk, and sugar.
Not long after this Diedre was surprised to see her father coming into the room with William. Obviously, whatever he had wanted to talk to Will about hadn’t taken very long. Her father ushered William over to the fireplace to sit with Charlotte and Great-Aunt Gwen. Instantly, Diedre had another sudden thought. Why was her father being so caring with William Lawson? He was always a good host, but today he was especially attentive to their guest. Perhaps because Will was her boss?
Daphne, DeLacy, and Hugo came and sat with them, and then Miles arrived. “Mind if I join you?” He sat next to Cecily and took hold of her hand, but looked at Diedre. “I think your boss is very nice, and well informed. We all hope war isn’t really coming, and try to push it to one side. But he just spit it right out today. I for one am glad he did. We can’t pretend it won’t happen. It will. Harry’s been saying that all along. The young men from the three villages will go, you know. They’ll join up immediately, they won’t even wait to get their papers.” Miles let out a long sigh, a resigned look on his face.
Hugo said, “You’re correct, Miles. War is a young man’s game, I’m afraid.”
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“Fodder,” Diedre said in a low voice. “Fodder for the guns of war. So many millions died twenty years ago, I can’t bear to think about it.”
Miles and Hugo continued to talk about what they were now suddenly referring to as the Second World War, and after a while, Diedre stood up, excused herself.
Walking across the room, she addressed Charlotte, “It was a lovely lunch. And thank you so much for including William. But now we have to go. We have work to do. I know you’ll excuse us, Aunt Charlotte, Papa.”
“Go and do what you must, Diedre,” the earl said, smiling at his eldest daughter, whom he genuinely admired and loved very much.
William rose. He gave his thanks, said his good-byes with great courtesy, and he and Diedre left the yellow drawing room together. They crossed the entrance hall and went outside. As they walked toward Skelldale House, he said only one thing: “I need to talk to you about an important matter.”
Forty
The door of Skelldale House was still not locked. William opened it, ushered Diedre inside. She went straight into the small parlor, and stood near the window.
For a moment William hovered in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb.
They stared at each other without saying a word.
Finally William said, “Do you mind if I take my jacket off? I’m very warm.”
“No, I don’t mind.” She watched him as he slipped out of it, placed it folded on a chair. She noticed the muscles in his arms and across his back rippling as he moved, and she saw him properly for once. Usually she tried not to see him as he actually was, a powerfully attractive man, instead looked at him as if through a mesh screen.
But her eyes were wide open this afternoon. She admitted to herself that he was indeed unusually good-looking. There was a masculinity about him that appeared to jump out at her at this moment. He had a strong, even tough look, and it suddenly struck her that he was a lot like that actor James raved about, who had become his best friend since he and Dulcie had lived in Hollywood. Clark Gable. Yes, that was whom Will resembled. The world’s greatest movie star.
Will had the same thick black hair, slicked back above rugged features, and shining white teeth. He was tall, about six-feet-three, slender but broad chested. Yet there was a gracefulness about his movements. She had spotted that the first day they had met in his office.
Unexpectedly, he walked out of the parlor. Diedre stood perfectly still. She heard him turning the door key, then shooting the bolt.
When he returned to the parlor his blue tie was undone, hung loose around his neck, and he walked toward the fireplace undoing the top buttons of his white shirt.
She stared at him, surprise flashing across her face. But she did not say anything. He had told her he was warm, hadn’t he? And it was certainly not unusual for either of them to lock doors. It was part of their trade.
He leaned against the mantelpiece, studying her with such intensity she felt herself flushing. Clearing her throat, she said, “What did my father wish to discuss with you?”
William did not answer. He wanted to say: You. He wanted to talk about you, but he didn’t dare. In some ways she intimidated him. Not because of who she was, an earl’s daughter. It was her enormous beauty that frightened him, actually overwhelmed him, and at times made him feel like a bumbling fool.
Nonetheless, he did want her. He’d always wanted her, from the moment he’d first set eyes on her. But she was so gorgeous with her golden-blond hair, beautiful features, peaches-and-cream complexion, and vivid blue eyes, he was afraid to touch her, to even get near her sometimes.
Her clothes were glorious, gave her a special kind of elegance, and often gave him a sense of awe. She was quite different from other women he had known intimately, off and on over the years, and in every way. To him she was the perfect woman.
In his mind William had named her Miss Untouchable. Yet he ached to touch her. It took every ounce of his willpower to keep his hands off her. He was in love with her, always had been from that first day. He yearned to hold her in his arms, to possess her. In fact, he lusted after her, though he also loved her deeply and sincerely for everything she was as a woman. A most unique woman, with exceptional looks and style and grace, and a truly extraordinary mind. She had an understanding heart, he knew that, and was compassionate and caring. He wanted to be with her. If she ever succumbed to him, he would never be able to leave her …
“Why have you gone so quiet and thoughtful?” she asked.
He roused himself. “Sorry, I was sidetracked for a moment. Your father wanted to talk to me about conscription. He’s worried about your nephews running off to war, the moment it’s declared.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“I have something important to tell you. I have to go away.”
She frowned, peered at him. “What do you mean?”
“I have to go on an errand. Business.”
Diedre stiffened immediately and a small gasp escaped. “Where are you going?”
“To Sudetenland and Czechoslovakia. I need to know what’s going on exactly.”
“No, no, you can’t go! I won’t let you!” she cried, the words coming out of her mouth involuntarily. “Something might happen to you. It’s too dangerous and—” Diedre stopped with sudden abruptness, realizing that she was revealing her feelings. She clutched the back of a wing chair nearby to steady herself. She felt weak at the knees.
William’s eyes never left her face. Gathering all of his courage, he said, “Your father had other things to say. Actually, he chastised me. He told me I was breaking your heart, because you were in love with me. And I was not treating you properly. He—”
“Papa said that! He was wrong to reveal a confidence to you!” She could have bitten off her tongue for saying this. She knew she was blushing, and chastised herself. Blushing at forty-five. How ridiculous that was. She was floundering, losing her composure.
William took several steps toward her. When he saw her move back against the window, he paused. A faint smile played around his generous mouth when he said, “Your father told me that although I was obviously a clever man, I was also stupid … because I didn’t see what was staring me in the face. And he confided that he had once done the same thing years ago. Would you like to know what else he said?”
She could only nod.
“Your father mentioned Charlotte’s name. He told me he had gone to her house, walked into her living room, and found her standing on top of a ladder. Startled by his arrival, she had slipped. He realized that and rushed forward, managed to catch her in his arms. He confessed to me that only at that moment did he understand he was in love with her, and had been for years.”
Diedre was so stunned her father had confided such a personal and private matter to William she was rendered totally speechless.
He came closer. “Are you in love with me, Diedre?”
She did not answer him.
“When your father asked me if I was in love with you, I told him I was. When he then inquired what my intentions were, I explained that was up to you. I admitted I was serious, but I didn’t know what your feelings were for me.”
Still she did not say a word. William walked over to the window, took hold of her hand, brought her forward. He drew the draperies across the window, led her to the middle of the room, and immediately let go of her hand.
They stood facing each other, almost eyeball to eyeball. She was tall, but not quite as tall as he was. Neither of them spoke.
Their eyes locked and held.
He said, “Say it, Diedre. Tell the truth for once. Are you in love with me?”
Her chest tightened and she was shaking inside. She took a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Say it. Tell me. I want to hear you say the words.”
“I’m in love with you, Will.” Tears filled her eyes, and she was trembling, overcome by the depth of her emotions.
He made his move. He reached for her swiftly, brought her into his arms
and held her so tightly, so close to him, she could hardly breathe. Against her hair he said, very clearly, “And I’m in love with you, Diedre. I have been since the day I first saw you.”
Diedre was flooded with love for him. She leaned against his body, hanging on to him, relieved to be here in his arms like this at last. She felt secure, safe with him.
His mouth came down on hers. He kissed her. She kissed him back. They stood like that for a long moment before they stumbled together toward the sofa, fell down on it. He stroked her face, kissed her brow, told her how much he loved her, wanted her to be his forever. They kissed again, more passionately, then he said, “I think we must find a bed.”
They went upstairs together. She took him into a guest bedroom, switched on a bedside lamp, and turned to look at him. She caught him unawares and saw the love for her in his dark brown eyes, tenderness on his face. She walked over to him, touched his face gently. “I love you very much, William Lawson, and I’m thrilled your intentions are serious because I can’t ever let you go.”
They wrapped their arms around each other, and stood holding each other, their hearts racing; a moment later he was kissing her again at the same time fumbling with her silk jacket, trying to remove it, just as she attempted to unbutton his shirt.
Suddenly William stood away from her. “Take off your clothes.”
He watched her as she did as he asked. And flung off his own clothes, followed her across the room to the bed. They lay there side by side under the covers not saying a word. After a while, he pushed himself up on an elbow and looked down at her. “I never believed this would happen.”
“Neither did I. But I’ve thought about it constantly, wanted it every night.”
A lopsided, slightly cheeky smile hovered around his mouth. “And so have I.”
William gazed at her wonderingly, gently touching her body, marveling at the silkiness of her skin. She had long shapely legs, a slender torso, and beautiful breasts. Putting his arms around her, he brought her closer to him, breathing in the scent of her, listening to her heart clattering against his. Soon they would be joined, become one, but at this moment he wanted to savor everything about her, this woman he had so yearned for, and for such a long time.