I was drifting, floating. The pain was subsiding. Suddenly through all the noise, I heard a loud bang, followed by thuds. Flopping down on the floor so I was lying, I tried to see who had come in. The darkness clouded my view even more. I felt exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. Closing my eyes, I felt someone move me. “Stay with me, Summer. Everything’s going to be okay. You just need to stay with me. ” Summer?
All I could feel was movement, no pain. I was being carried. Carried by someone that called me Summer. Was I dreaming? I fell further and then there was only darkness.
32
LEWIS
Thursday, March 3rd (Present)
I pulled up at the hotel and rubbed my eyes. For the past few days, I’d been driving all over the country checking out possible leads and sightings of her. The police covered it too of course, but the longer she was gone, the more I lost faith in them. For seven months, since she disappeared, I had been in limbo and I couldn’t move on until I knew what happened. Someone knew where she was.
I yawned and got out of the car. London was an impossibly large place to find one girl, and I doubted Summer was here, but I wasn’t going to risk not looking.
The police search for her had slowed down even more; there weren’t many officers still on the case, and the search was now funded by donations and volunteers. It meant we would have to go back to work to get the money, only part-time, though.
Thankfully, I only spent one night in a jail cell for breaking into Colin’s house—to teach me a lesson, I think—and there was nothing on my record. I didn’t want to think what would happen if I couldn’t get a job and then couldn’t help fund the search. I would have failed her.
One good thing came of Michael arresting me; the police had promised to question Colin. The sleaze was on their radar now. Something was definitely weird about him, and now it was only a matter of time before whatever he was hiding came out.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and started ringing. I swiped it out and answered it immediately. “Hello. ”
“Lewis, they’ve got a warrant. They’re going in soon,” Daniel said.
“What?” Finally! “How did they get it?”
“They found him with a box of different phone chargers and women’s clothing. Apparently, he was on his way out somewhere with them. Lucky they turned up to re-question him when they did or that probably would have been gone. ”
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“Did he have a charger for Summer’s phone?” I whispered into the phone.
“I don’t know. They wouldn’t say. ”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was getting a headache. “Okay, call me the second you hear something. Anything at all. ”
“Of course I will. ”
“Thanks,” I said and ended the call. If they didn’t find anything, then I had no idea what to do next. Keep following every lead that fizzled into nothing? “Hello,” the receptionist said. “Are you checking in?”
I debated. Did I stay here and search or go home? “Actually, no. Sorry. ” I waved over my shoulder as I jogged back to the parking lot. I had a long drive back—to possibly nothing. But I had to be there in case.
My heart leaped at the thought of seeing her again. I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much; it would crush me all over again if she weren’t found. Please be okay, baby. I’m on my way. Theo had said I was putting too much on Colin, and I was—but I had nothing else.
I tried turning the key in the ignition, but my hands shook so badly it took three tries. Fuck’s sake! Come on! Finally I managed to start the car, and I sped off. The damn car couldn’t go fast enough. I should have never left town. I was so damn stupid.
My phone rang and my heart jumped. “Lewis,” Daniel said. His voice was thick with emotion, as if he had been crying. No!
“Yes,” I whispered and took a deep breath. My world stopped.
“They…they’ve found her. They found her. They have her,” he said, repeating himself in disbelief.
“What? What happened? Where is she? Is she okay?” I questioned. My heart soared. They have her!
“In his house—his cellar. She’s alive, Lewis. ” He broke down, sobbing. “She’s alive. ”
Was I dreaming? Everything around me was in slow motion. Daniel’s voice seemed too far away, too dreamlike. I had imagined this moment millions of times over and had it felt this unreal. Tears pooled in my eyes, blurring my vision. “Where is she?”
“Hospital. We’re on our way now. She hit her head, but she’s here. She’s here. There was a struggle and she was hurt. I have to go, we’re here now, and I need to be with her. Just get here as soon as you can. ”
“Bye,” I muttered and ended the call. His words echoed through my head. She’s here. That was all I had wanted for the past seven months. Now I was in London, fucking hours away. Frustration built up. I hated myself for not being there. I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. “Fuck!” There was a struggle and she was in the hospital. How badly was she injured? She hit her head. A serious hit? She had to be okay. We couldn’t go through over a half a year of hell only for her to die. I needed her.
I felt sick with guilt and wished I were with her already. If she was awake, would she ask for me? What if she hated me for not finding her sooner? I promised I would take care of her. I blew out a deep breath that I didn’t even know I was holding in. She’s okay. I blinked heavily and felt tears roll down my face. Everything was going to be all right now. She’s alive and I would do anything to make it up to her. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t figure out how I felt. Relieved. Scared. Happy. Angry. Ecstatic. Guilty.
I gripped the steering wheel with one hand and wiped my tears away with the other. Whatever happened to her in those seven months would be okay, because she was home. I pushed my foot down on the accelerator.
***
“Where is she?” I demanded of Theo the second I walked through the hospital doors.
“This way,” he replied, jogging beside me.
“Have you seen her?”
“No. ”
“Has anyone? She’s okay, right?”
“She’s awake now. Daniel and Dawn are with her. Lewis, before you go in there, Henry wanted to speak to you. ”
“What?” I shook my head. What the fuck? I didn’t want a chat with Henry; I wanted to see my girlfriend! “I’m not waiting to speak to him. ”
“He’s waiting for you outside her room and you need to speak to him first. ” Why? What did that mean? Was Summer angry? We turned a corner and went through onto one of the wards. It smelled too clean and clinical. Henry stood outside a door on the ward and my heart stopped. Summer was the other side of that wall. My heart swelled.
“Lewis,” Henry said and walked toward me. He held his hands up. “Not yet, man, we need to talk. ”
I sighed. “Why? I just want to go and see her. Is she okay? Does she not want to see me?”
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“Just come to the café with me, and I’ll explain. ”
“Henry, I don’t want to sit and have a fucking coffee!”
“Okay, let’s take this into the corridor then. ” Take this into the corridor? He sounded like he wanted a damn fight or something. “Lewis, please. For her sake, please. You need to understand what happened before you go in there. She’s not…herself. ”
My face fell. “What do you mean she’s not herself?”
“Back up, and I’ll tell you. ”
I looked at the door. She was just feet away, but I still couldn’t get to her. I sighed. “Fine. Okay, fine. ” I followed him back. Theo stayed behind, going into a room opposite hers. Waiting room maybe? “What then?” I asked, as the ward door closed behind us.
“She’s different. ” He frowned. “It’s like she doesn’t properly recognize us. She doesn’t respond that well. All we’ve heard is her asking for Rose, Poppy, and Violet. ??
?
“What?” I frowned, shocked “She wants flowers?”
Henry looked at the floor. “No. They’re the three other girls she was locked up with. ” My eyes widened and mouth dropped open. “She said her name was Lily. ”
What? That didn’t make sense. I couldn’t get my head around it. Why was she calling herself Lily? “Look, we’ve not got the whole picture. None of them are saying much, but it seems that Brown, or Clover, changed their names. ”
“I…” Shaking my head, I tried to make sense of it all. “Clover? What the hell, man? I don’t…”
“Neither do I. Listen, she’s not herself, so don’t expect much. We just need to help her snap out of it, help her remember who she is. ” She forgot who she was? What the fuck did he do to her to make her like that?
“I want to see her. Now. ” Helping her remember I could do. I just needed to see her, to hold her and smell her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and magically make everything better.
We stopped at her door and my heart took off.
33
SUMMER
Friday, March 4th (Present)
My whole body felt heavy, like I was made of concrete. A dull pain throbbed through my head. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn’t move; it was as if my eyelids had been glued together. What was going on? A dark fog spread across me, and I peacefully drifted back to sleep.
I woke in the dark again; my body still refused to move even an inch. Just open your eyes. Focus on opening your eyes! Voices of strangers surrounded me, and I slowly began to hear what they were saying.
“She’s strong. She’ll be fine. ” Me? I didn’t feel strong.
“I thought we’d lost her. ” Whose voice was that? My dad’s? Was that him? What happened? As things around me started making sense: the clean, clinical smell—no strong lemon—and the strange but familiar voices of my family. I was out of Clover’s prison and in a hospital. But how?
I blocked everything else out. I could work all that out later; now I needed to focus on waking up. My body didn’t want to respond to the demands I was making, but, finally, I managed to flutter my eyes open for barely a second. A brief ray of bright white light flashed in front of me before it went black again.
A sea of voices filled the room as everyone spoke at the same time. Did they see?
“Summer? Summer?”
Open your eyes, I screamed at myself and tried again, forcing my eyes to open. This time they didn’t close again, but I felt exhausted from the effort. I winced at the bright light. Everything looked blurry, but the room slowly came into focus.
“Summer? Sweetheart?” Mum’s voice sounded so strange. I had remembered her voice only well enough for me to vaguely recognize it. She sobbed, and I tried to smile to soothe her. Being free felt as dreamlike as when I had first entered the cellar. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”
I couldn’t talk—I didn’t have enough energy—so I nodded my head as best I could. “I’ll get a doctor,” Henry said. I couldn’t see him, but I had remembered my annoying brother’s voice perfectly. I smiled weakly.
“Oh, you’re okay. ” Mum stroked my hair. I turned my head slightly so I was facing her a little better. She looked older, like she had aged eight years in almost eight months. Her hair was almost fully gray and she had deep, dark circles under her eyes. Was that my fault?
A stranger wearing a light blue nurse uniform looked over me and smiled as if I were her daughter. “Hello, Summer. My name’s Tara. How are you feeling?” I opened my mouth but only a groggy mutter came out. My throat was dry, like I’d swallowed sand. I shrugged. Tara smiled. “Are you in any pain?” I nodded. Everywhere but mostly my head. “Okay, I’ll get you something for that. There’s water on the side table. ”
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“I’ll do it,” Dad said. I smiled. Of course he would want to do something practical.
The nurse nodded. “I’ll go and get something for the pain and bring a doctor in to check her over. ”
“Thank you,” Mum said, gripping my hand. “Summer? Honey…” She stopped talking and wiped the tears that flowed freely down her face. I blinked a couple times as my vision blurred. My head pounded and I just wanted to sleep.
Dad poured water in a cup and put a straw in it. What am I, three? I opened my mouth, grateful for the cool water. I’d almost drained the whole cup before my throat felt normal again.
“How are we doing?” another nurse asked as she walked into the room. She held a syringe in her hand—the pain medication. I sighed in relief. Give it! “Summer, I’m Brieanna. Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to do anything; you’ll receive the medication through the IV. ” She stuck a needle into a tube and nothing happened. How long did this stuff take to work exactly? “Okay, the doctor will be with you shortly. Call if you need anything. ” She left the room and we were alone again.
Clips of the events flittered through my mind, but I couldn’t piece them together properly. Where were Rose, Poppy, and Violet? “Wh-what…happened?” I asked.
Mum, Dad, and Henry moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. They loomed over me, and I squirmed uncomfortably. I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with my family. “Do you remember anything, sweetheart?” Dad asked.
“Clover. He attacked Violet, attacked us. Where are they?”
“The other girls?” Mum asked. Her voice was soft, like she thought I was made from glass and would break at any loud noise. Dad and Henry stepped forward again.
My heart stopped. Where were they? “I need to see them. Can you find them?”
“Summer, calm down. ”
“Where’s the nurse?” I pushed myself up and pain shot through my head. I groaned and flopped back down, wincing. “Find them, please,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.
“Honey, calm down,” Mum whispered. She exchanged a look with Dad, and I couldn’t tell what it meant. “Your dad will go and find out what happened to them. ”
Someone knocked on the door and walked in. She wasn’t a nurse; she was wearing black trousers and a fitted black shirt, but she had a hospital ID hanging around her neck. “Hello, Summer. I’m Cecilia. How are you feeling?”
“Where are they?” I asked.
She smiled. She knew about them. Was she looking after them? “I’ve just been with Poppy, and she’s up and walking around. She’s with Violet. Violet’s in a critical but stable condition. ”
I gulped. Critical. That was bad. Really, really bad. “Rose?” I whispered.
“Physically, she’s fine. ”
My eyes welled up. Of course, she needed him. “I have to see them. ”
“As soon as you’re feeling better, I’ll arrange that. ”
“I feel fine. Please. ”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Rest for a while, and then I’ll see if we can get you to Violet. ”
She had only used my real name, not theirs. Had Poppy not told them who they really were? I almost wanted to be called Lily—to be the same as them again. For almost eight months they were all I knew, and being away from them made me feel vulnerable. Summer seemed like someone I was a lifetime ago. I didn’t want to keep his name, though. I didn’t want anything to do with him—just them.
“Is he in prison?”
Cecilia looked at my parents. “I’m afraid I don’t have that information, Summer. Perhaps you can talk to your parents. ” She flipped over my chart and wrote something down. After checking me over she straightened up. “Right, I’ll be back to check on you again soon, and we’ll have an in-depth chat a little later, when you’re feeling better. ” Definitely not a nurse.
“Are you hungry?” Mum asked as soon as Cecilia left the room.
“No. Where is he?”
“The police have him,” Dad replied. “You’re safe now, Summer. He won’t hurt you again. ”
Every time someone called me Summer, I expected someone
else to answer, expected them to be calling someone else. I didn’t feel like Summer. It was as weird as being called Lily in the beginning.
The door opened, and I jumped. Being outside, back in the real world, was strange. Scary almost. My family hadn’t left me alone, but I wanted them to. I didn’t want to be alone but I didn’t want to be with people that constantly stared at me and made me feel like I was a freak show.
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“Summer,” Henry shouted, waving his hand in front of my face. “You okay? I’ve been calling you for the last couple minutes. ”
I frowned. He was? “Um. Yeah?”
He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Lewis is on his way. ” Lewis. My heart leaped and stomach fluttered. He was coming here, now. “Err,” he said, frowning. “Do you want to see him?”
Do I? For the past seven and a half months, seeing him was the only thing I wanted to do; now it was possible I didn’t even know how I felt or what I wanted. Not if he was going to look at me like they all were. I didn’t want pity, especially not his. I wanted Rose, Poppy, and Violet. I wanted to feel safe. “Where are they?”
“Where are who?”
“Rose, Poppy, and Violet?”
“I don’t know, Sum. Lewis is on his way, though,” he repeated and looked at me as if I were crazy.
Mum sat down opposite Henry and grabbed my hand. I pulled away and played with my fingers. Her touch felt strange. “Honey?”
I chewed on my lip and tried to figure out what I wanted. Everything was so confusing and absolutely nothing made sense. My emotions were blank. “Can you all leave? Please. ”
“What? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Dad asked.
“Just go,” I whispered and covered my eyes with my hands. I wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep.
***
I was left alone for a grand total of twelve minutes. Henry still hadn’t come back in, but my parents sat on the chairs against the wall—about as much space as they were going to give me. They hadn’t said anything since they told me they weren’t going to leave me. It was almost as if they weren’t here. It wasn’t quite enough, though. I didn’t want them here. I felt guilty for being so confused whenever they looked at me with sadness and confusion in their eyes. At least Henry would make stupid small talk.