"You're a difficult man to catch," Rafe Fletcher said, snatching the paperwork out of Orlando's hand. He seemed to have appeared out of nowhere in the warehouse. Or perhaps not nowhere. Orlando had been too intent on checking his customer's order to notice him.
"What brings you here on this freezing afternoon?" Orlando asked, taking the papers back.
"You promised me we'd go for a drink."
"I haven't forgotten." He waved in two dock workers carrying a crate between them and indicated they should deposit it with the others stacked against the far wall. He dipped the pen into the inkwell on his small desk and marked the crate off his list. "I've been busy, Rafe, but I promise I'll join you soon. Perhaps on Saturday."
Rafe removed the papers once more. "We're going now." He beckoned Orlando's assistant over and handed him the papers.
The assistant looked to Orlando. Orlando sighed. "I'll be back later." He walked out of the warehouse with Rafe, past the cranes and sailors and the dock workers rolling barrels and lifting crates. It already grew dark and they would be making their way home soon, probably while Orlando headed back to the warehouse in search of something more to do. "One drink only," he said. "I'm very busy."
"Too busy to have more than one drink with an old friend? Or are your worried that going to taverns might lead you back to your old ways?"
Orlando glanced at him sideways. "No. I know I won't start a fight by bedding the wrong sort of woman. I have no desire to bed any sort of woman." Except Susanna.
Hell. He hadn't thought about her in a long time. A few minutes at least.
"Sounds like you're in dire need of a drink after all," Rafe said.
In the Golden Mermaid's taproom they ordered ales and sat in the corner. Most of the drinkers sang along with a lute being played badly by a toothless old sea dog in the corner, and other men planted kisses on wenches attempting to entice them to an upstairs room for a shilling. Orlando shut them out, but that only led to him thinking about Susanna and what she'd be doing. Preparing her garden for spring, no doubt. Hopefully she'd used some of the money he'd sent her to buy more orange trees from her supplier.
Did she think of him? Did she stay awake at night regretting her decision not to marry him as much as he regretted not fulfilling his promise to return?
Breaking that promise clawed at him every day.
Yet Thomas wanted him. Susanna did not.
"So who is she?" Rafe asked.
"What?" Orlando frowned at his friend sitting on the stool across from him.
Rafe chuckled and shook his head. "Who's the woman who's got you pining like a dog locked out of the house?"
"Susanna." Orlando groaned. "And don't talk about being locked out of houses. It brings back bad memories."
"Susanna, eh? Tell me about her."
"There's nothing to tell."
"You never were a good liar, Orlando."
"That's not what I've been told."
Rafe folded his arms and regarded him. "You're my friend, Orlando, and I don't like seeing you like this. That's why I'm going to give you some advice."
"I don't want your advice nor do I need it."
"Go back to your Susanna."
"I am. I promised her I would, so I am." God's truth, he would do what he could to fulfill his promise. He had to.
"When?"
Orlando stared into his cup. "As soon as Thomas can spare me."
"And what will you do when you get there?"
"Help her repair her house, her garden." He shrugged. "Whatever is needed."
"But not marry her," Rafe said.
"She doesn't want me."
"Doesn't she? Or does she just want to know that you're committed to her and not the house? Or that you won't turn around and blame her for trapping you into a life you may one day find dull?"
"Know everything about women now do you?"
"More than you, my friend." Rafe laughed. "Never thought that'd happen, eh? You're supposed to be the expert."
"Shut it."
"Take my advice or leave it, I don't care. I'm just trying to help you because I don't like seeing you a blathering mess."
Orlando straightened. "I'm not a mess."
Rafe snorted and lifted the cup to his lips and drank. "Thanks for the company, as miserable as it was," he said, thumping the empty cup down on the table. "I have to go. Write to us and we'll come visit you in the country. Lizzy would love Hampshire. The baby too when it's born."
"Can't stay away from her for long, can you?"
"No, nor do I want to. That's the thing about being in love, Orlando, you don't want to stay away. Ever. You want to be with her all the time. Every moment of every day. If you're not holding her in your arms, you're thinking about holding her. That's what love is. It's bloody inconvenient but there's nothing much you can do about it, except tell her and hold her whenever you have the chance. Just be with her, wed or not."
Orlando closed his eyes but it felt like the floor was shifting beneath him so he opened them again. He felt drunk but he'd not even finished one drink. "Bloody hell."
"What?"
Orlando met his friend's steady gaze. "You've just described how I feel." He wanted Susanna. He wanted to live with her, be with her, love her. He couldn't imagine a life without her. There was no point in chasing freedom when everything he wanted was at Stoneleigh. Being without Susanna was no kind of freedom at all. It would be a miserable hell.
Rafe slapped him on the back. "So you're in love. I suggest you go to Susanna and tell her. If she doesn't agree to marry you, make another arrangement that suits you both. You're a difficult man to remove and she'll probably give in eventually." He laughed.
"You're all kindness."
Rafe hauled him to his feet and clasped Orlando's shoulders. "Goodbye, my friend, and don't worry. Being in love isn't the end of the world." The hard planes of his face softened. "Indeed, I am having the best adventure of all."
Orlando sank down onto the stool again. "I can't leave. Thomas needs me here. I owe him."
"What happened back then was not your fault." Rafe's voice was unusually soft but still compelling. "Believe me, you cannot change what happened, but you should not pay for it for the rest of your life. Your brother is a man with his own family and he must take care of them on his own. Susanna is your family now, in all but name. I can see it in your eyes. You hate not being with her. If I were you, I'd do whatever it took to get her back, even if that meant letting my brother down."
"Thank you." Orlando stood and embraced him. "Give my love to your Lizzy."
Rafe drew him away. "He's not your responsibility any more, Orlando. Understand?" He clasped Orlando's arm in farewell then strode off through the boisterous crowd.
Orlando followed him out some time later with two certainties: One, he'd drunk too much, and two, Susanna was worth any sacrifice.