1/26/2010
The Child of Events!
By:Sir Teymur Roshdi
Copyright2010-Sir Teymur Roshdi
1
To elaborate the events of my life and all the accidents which happened to me , I should refer to the early years of my childhood. The events after the third anniversary of my birth are astonishingly clear enough in my mind to explain them , but what I know about the period before this time I learned it later by the tales my father told me .
I was born in between of a conjugal struggles which happen usually after some years of marriage, and after my older sibblings , a girl and a boy , as the third child of my parents. Based on what my father told me in his old age, my mother cherrished too much her two childs, especially her first baby boy who was born after many years of awaiting , but she didn 't feel happy of my birth which seemingly bothered her , maybe because of a sort of tiredness or a sort of depression that many mothers experience after giving birth. As a result of this condition , my mother rejected me since the beginning and instead of feeding me she fed my two years old brother who still was fed by mother-milk . As a baby I was put away and instead of milk I was fed by tea , few times a day. When my father noticed that I was ignored by my mother tried to find a solution . Accidently in our neighborhood lived a young woman who had lost her baby after some weeks and when she learned that my presence in the family was a charge , she accepted eagerly to feed me and taking care of me . She was a very kind and caring woman and did all she could to keep me alive and nurturing me . But after few months her motherhood milk dried because of undernourishment and poverty , so she just fed me with some poor soup . This sort of diet caused gradually my weakness complicated by baby illnesses . The young woman who could not understand what was happenning to me because I was just in some coma and spent my last hours , was afraid of the responsibility of my death , brought back my dying little skinny body to my father's home. My parents after seeing my skinny shape which was about to passing away , ignored me and waited the aftermath .
It seems that I was not supposed dying as a baby , because I was saved in a 'miraculous' way , just by coming of an aquaintance of my father who was a student in the medicine university . The young student after socializing with my parents noticed suddenly my critical condition and after becoming conscious that my parents are completly hopeless about me and considered me as a terminal case took my dead body to the hospital for some analysis .
At the hospital , my 'dying' body became an interesting subject for medical studies and the cure of babies illnesses. The various sort of tests and examinations plus effective cure with medications and a regulated diet saved me from the fatal illness and my condition became progressively stable and normal . Because in that hospital I was called 'the abandoned baby' and because no one came visiting me , one of the nurse adopted me out of compassion as her child and took care of me. She lived in the hospital and fed me with the food of the hospital and when she was not there and leaving the hospital for a while , the other nurses were taking care of me. So I spent my early life in that hospital and I have been called 'the child of the hospital'. These were my first steps in the stream of life .
2
Until the age of three I stayed at the hospital , but everything changed when that young student, aqaintance of my father, the one who saved my life by bringing me to the hospital , came visiting me . At this time he had finished his medical studies and was already a doctor. He felt very happy by finding me in good health and a happy child. He accompanied me for a walk in the park , and we were both enjoying our walk for some minutes till the moment that we encountered suddenly my father . I did not understand what the doctor said to my father , nor what my father felt when he realized that his son was adopted by strangers. I never understood what happened during this encountering but the result was that I have been brought once again at my father's home.
My new situation didn't last too long and didn't give me the opportunity to become familiar with it . The family was arraning things in order to move in another city in the neighborhood region . At this moment although I was only three and few months I was able to understand perfectly everythings which was happenning around me and in my surrounding. I remember very well the tortuous ways and roads we were leaving behind us during the travel and also the very deep valleys we were passing accross them , they were green and awesome and at the bottom the rebellious river was flowing with its indifferent and tumultuous waves.
3
Not too long after our settlement in the new stranger city , someday my father took me kindly in his arms and told me that I had to prepare myself for a walk and a picnic in the nature. This sort of kindness was too unexpected for me but for the first time I felt that I was cherrished , so I showed myself very cooperative when my mother helped me to put my clothes on and I tried to wear my shoes by my own and I said to my father :"dad, you see now I 'm not a baby anymore and I can do things myself" . I was so happy at those moments that out of emotion I fell and hit the ground many times while going the stairs down .
Once outdoor and walking on the streets , I was running fastly after my father in order to reach him. After a while we arrived to a beautiful park where the kids were playing . By imagining that I would stay in that park to play with the other childs in such a florishing surrounding I felt extremely happy , the sort of intense joy that only kids are able to feel and to experience it in their soul. But my father plunged in his thoughts was ignoring me and continued walking till the moment that he arrived at the gate of the park and leaving it behind himself was running non-stop. The distance which separated me from my father looked so huge that in my astonishment I became afraid and very anxious , scaring losing him suddenly and once again finding myself alone and orphan ...
After having walked for few minutes we arrived at a wide street which we traversed and we found ourselves in front of a building with a very big brown door. The door was open , we entered and there were some stairs that my father helped me to going up and the stairs lead us to the first floor where a big lounge appeared which seemed to me a bit dark . Many stairs were in front of us again , and me, scared by that dark and the non-familiar place , addressing to my father I asked " dad , where is this place and why we are here ?". My father replied :"don't worry , we are here as guests and you will have lot of food and candy here , now go the stairs up !" I was relying on the parapet and when I tried to get up the stairs, suddenly I heard the sound of the closing door and didn't find my father behind myself . Horrified I runned back till the door and tried hopelessly to open it and reaching my father , but the door was locked . Out of fear and desperation I screamed so loudly that my heart could be torn and my whole body was shivering unvolontarily . At the moment I couldn't realize that my father left me willingly there or some sort of disaster separated me from him. After a while I felt the presence of a woman upstairs who was looking at me with surprise , she came down and took me kindly in her arms and brought me at the second floor where in a big lounge many kids were gathered and were playing . I stood for some minutes in a corner , crying for the unexpected event which separated me from my father , but as it is usual and natural with children , they forget easily the misfortune and adapt themselves
with the new situations.
4
Very soon I became familiar with my new location and began socializing with the other children. I was happy finding lot of toys I could play with them , some balls , a little brilliant trumpet , a little wood swinging horse on which I forgot all the misery and sorrow cumulated in my young heart . I spent few months on that building which had a big brown door and then I didn't know what sort of place or institution it was called , neither why I was brought there , anyway I was enjoying the poor soup they gave to us , the presence of all the other kids with who I could play and the relative safety which reigned there .
With the arrival of the summer,we were moved in a place located in the countryside , very green and florishing place surrounded by some montains where a pure stream was flowing . We had a good time there , playing outdoor , discovering and pursueing butterflies and all sort of little wild animals , also there were all sort of playing engines for kids . Some young women were responsible of taking care of us and they usually distracted us by the different games and organizing singing and dancing seances .
The summer passed joyfully and at fall we moved once again to our usual place in the city. During this time nothing extraordinary happened because if so it would left its impact in my mind. I became familiar with my new way of life and as I was growing up I was becoming more aware of what was happening around me and also my sensibility letted me to enjoy fully the good days and moments we spent in our summer location. The countryside was really beautiful , along the ways there were all sort of trees,vegatations, flowers which seemed to me like a heavenly garden . I played joyfully in that wonderful surrounding and ate all sort of fruits of those trees. Those were relatively the best days of my childhood while we were playing all sort of games , singing and dancing under the supervision of the nurses.Sometimes the people from the neighborhood gardens were coming to watch us playing group games and singing songs. I liked most of all the play when we took the hand of each other and formed a circle of twenty kids and were turning around a hill covered by all sort of colourful flowers on a grassy ground . We were turning around that hill and singing songs, then we were changing softly the direction and were turning in the opposite side . At this time the rural people of the neighborhood gardens were cheering us up after the end of that play.
We were spending carelessly and joyfully the summer , but this state of things didn't last long . A sort of apprehension told me that this is too beautiful to last long. Under the impact of my apprehension , at nights I was the prey of very bad dreams and sometimes the dreams were turning into nightmares which woken me up in sweat and shivering out of fear.
At this time the place we , the abandoned childs, were living , the winter building in the city or the summer refuge in the countryside, under the supervision of different mentors, servants and a director , was not anymore a mystery to me , it was quite simply called an orphanage.In the countryside refuge we were sleeping outdoor under the trees , on the grass , watching and gazing at the brilliant stars, each one sending amazing rays, before I close my eyes and before I begin my astonishing journey in the realm of dreams. One of those nights I dreamed about my favorite game when we took the hands of each other turning around that florishing hill , singing songs and laughing , but suddenly I noticed that the scenery changed and that grassy hill covered with all sort of flowers turned into a terrifying abyss and the kids around me became horrible wolves that showed their fangs . I was so scared by this sudden change of circumstances which increased second after second my fear and horror,I left the hands of the others and tried to jump that horrifying abyss up and to escape that infernal scene , but the wolves surrounded me and each one showed me the threating fangs , ready to devour me in a wink , mortified by the fear,I felt so helpless that in my desperation I begged the wolves to leave me alone and to not harm me because I did nothing wrong to desserve such a punishment , but the wolves indifferent to my crying were laughing cynically and letted me know in their cruelty that they didn't care about my innocence and they were there to tear and consume me and roaring they attacked me. I woke up in sweat and an incredible heart beat . For some hours I was shivering of the terror of that horrible dream and then I began watching the sky and the countless brilliant stars which comforted me . A puzzling silence reigned on everything that night , occasionally I could hear the rooster's song coming from far which broke the mysterious silence of my surrounding and all of this had created a sort of dreamland , perhaps to remind me that the whole life is nothing but a passing dream ...
5
Not too long after the nightmare I had , everything changed around me. I noticed that our orphanage was not managed like usual , the tutors , teachers and servants left and the director was missing . Apart an old fat woman who was a sort of concierge , there was no one to watch or to take care of us. The fat old woman was indifferent to us and she could hardly move or doing things , instead she used to sit on the stairs and kept herself busy with her knitting .
I remember very good the location of the older orphans who were all teenagers, at the neighborhood of our garden , also I remember those boys who climbed the wall which separated the two gardens,to watch us playing and singing songs . At this time the wall in the southern part of the garden was digged by hammer, spade and other sort of gardening tools to create a big hole in order the grown up boys could have access to our garden where the kids were not older than 4 or 5 . Few days later , a group of hungry and violent boys of 12 to 15 who looked like vagrants appeared . They were so starving that they ate all the fruits and vegetables they found in our garden and and trampled all the rest . After a while when they found nothing to eat , they began breaking all the branches of trees , skinned them and ate them , also they ate the grains of rye which they found scattered here and there . We, little orphans were suffering starvation too , and because we had not anymore someone to take care of us and watching our diet , we began following the vagrant boys and ate trees leaves or branches .
This situation lasted for some time and I could not realize what was happening or what sort of disaster had caused this chaotic circumstances . Many years later I learned that a worldwide war has occured for few years in that region and its harmful effects were appeared in all aspects of individual and social life of people and torn the order of things and destroyed the economy of the society , so we were under the impact of this disaster . Our orphanage could not escape this global turbulence either and like a small boat in struggle with a deadly sea storm , was sinking under the water. The benefactor who supported our orphanage has lost his fund and there was not any budget , so the teachers and the servants left and we were given to the hazards and risks of our fate . The chaos which reigned on our orphanage was the result of a worldwide conflict .
We were few kids left there and in the teenagers garden all the girls disappeared and I didn't know where they were moved . From the boys section only ten remained and they were the ones who came regularly in our garden. They were the most wicked boys I have ever seen . Each day they came in our section and played diabolic and violent games and we, little boys , were like the toys in their hands on who they could do all sort of experiments and playing horrible and frightening games, we were just an object for their distraction and amusement . Our heavenly garden has been transformed into a desolated ruin by these few wicked boys . They torn off all the walls and built with the bricks some little refuges for their diabolic games . All over the garden they digged some holes as graves and played a strange and macabre play . One of them lay down at the bottom of that 'grave-like' hole and the others covered his face and body with the ground and sands . After some minutes , they took and put aside the ground and the volontary 'burried' boy emerged with a glorious and arrogant gesture and was cheered up by
all the others who admired this 'heroic' player and the play itself .
Since then I noticed that some people even in their early childhood had wicked tendency and very strange fantasy they put into action to reveal their power or to satisfy their unsecurity and frustrations . Anyway this sort of tendency had always devastating results for themselves and for all the others .
The 'creator' and the 'hero' of such a macabre game as I remember was a weird looking boy of almost 17 who was called 'gorgon' . As I heard from the others the identity of his parents was unknown and he was notorious because of his rudeness , insolence and wickedness , everyone feared him and each one tried to keep his distance from him or even to 'respect' him out of fear. At this time I was only 5 and although I could not distinguish good or bad and the difference between goodness and badness , each time I saw him , by some 'instinct' I tried to hide myself from him . But unfortunately because we had no one watching over us , he came regularly in our section and spent lot of time in organizing weird and diabolic games and so he felt that he was the ruler of all of us .
6
I was starving and someday after spending few days in hunger and desperation , the old concierge woman gave me a piece of dried rye bread . I was so happy that I went down the few stairs which led to our garden and decided to find a corner to hide myself from those turbulent and wicked boys and eating my dried bread in peace . But suddenly 'gorgon' who was busy sharing some obscene jokes with the boys of his gang and laughing , noticed me . He rushed on me and told to his 'friends': "hey boys , see what a 'cute' baby I found" , and with a sarcastic voice and gesture he asked my name . I was so afraid of his eyes and look that I left my dried bread and tried to run away but he followed me and faking kindness he kept my tiny chin in his two rough fingers and pressed it so strongly that I cried out of pain. The other boys were laughing and mocking and I became a subject for their amusement . Gorgon was laughing diabolically and then he searched in his pocket and showed me a piece of sugar and said :" come on , take it and eat it and don't cry" . By seeing that tiny piece of sugar I forgot my fear and crying and took that suger and ate it .