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I woke up to a loud banging noise with my head on the kitchen floor, cheek resting in a pool of saliva. It took me a couple seconds to realize what was going on since I had a splitting headache, but I finally opened my eyes and let out a pitiful groan. My stomach was burning pretty bad.
“Stop banging, asshole!” I shouted. I didn’t even care who was doing it. The racket was coming from the door a few feet away and I felt way too weak to get up and answer.
“Yo faggot, let me in!” a muffled voice called. It was Johnny. Looking over at the clock on the wall, I noticed it was 9:14 a.m, unless of course it had frozen last night. What’s he doing here so early? “Hey asshole, I can see you!” he pounded.
“Alright, alright!” I grumbled. “Jesus Christ.” I grabbed the edge of the counter across from the sink and stumbled up to my feet. Daylight was shining in through the windows, but the sky was still gray. The flashing lights seemed to have stopped. I smirked to myself as I looked to the doorway where my aunt was still passed out in her place. When she was that drunk, she could sleep through the apocalypse. I had to envy her for that.
Opening the back door, I steadied myself against the frame just as Johnny was about to knock again. His head was turned the other way so I guess he wasn’t looking, ‘cause his fist damn near hit me right in the face.
“Watch out!” I said, pushing him backwards.
“Shit, don’t do that man!” he gasped. “I been scared enough the whole night workin’ Mariah’s crap outta my system.”
“You were up all night? I thought she only gave you half.”
“Don’t be a smartass, you know how strong that stuff is. You got any cigarettes?”
“Yeah, hold up,” I sighed, snatching my aunt’s pack. We stepped outside on the back porch to sit on the front steps after I carefully closed the door just in case it would wake her, though I was pretty sure she would be out at least a couple more hours. The rain had let up quite a bit at least. Johnny took off his hat and tossed it in the grass, running a hand through his hair.
“My dad’s been freaking out on me all morning,” he said as he lit one up. “We were up for most of the night and he kept wanting to grab another beer. I got so sick of running up and down the stairs that I just threw a whole case on the couch for him, but he didn’t drink any of it. He said his leg was bugging him too much and he’s outta pain killers.”
“Shit,” I replied, spitting on the porch. “I think Colton might have some.”
“The codeine boy? I said pain killers, not that shit that makes you dumb.”
“Sizzurp cures everything,” I grinned.
“I kinda don’t wanna kill my old man. He needs non-narcotic, remember? He’s allergic to codeine.”
“Oh, yeah. Stuff’s hard to find around here.”
“I was gonna head downtown, but our car’s dead.”
“So borrow your neighbor’s.”
Johnny hesitated, his expression falling serious. “Hers is dead too. So are the tractors. Phones, all our electronics, fucking everything, even the stuff that runs off batteries. We’re completely cut off. Why do you think I was banging on your door?”
“I just woke up…everything’s dead? I said I’d call you at ten.”
“Check your phone, man.” I got up and ran inside. If the electricity was still out, I figured maybe it’d come back on in the next several days. The companies were kinda slow as shit out here, but they were always good about getting everything turned back on within a week tops. I stepped inside the door for a second and grabbed the cordless to listen. No dial tone.
“Damn it,” I breathed, closing the door behind me again. “You said the cars are out?”
“Batteries are shot,” Johnny said, looking upset. “I talked to Seth, he’s been trying to figure it out. We’ve looked through the manuals and everything. Lightning sure as hell don’t do that, especially since the car’s been in the garage.”
“Think it has anything to do with them lights?”
“Who the hell knows,” he muttered, tossing his cigarette in the grass. “Anyways, my dad just cracked open a beer before I left, so he should be feeling a little better at least until we can figure out what’s up with the cars. You still wanna raze that barn?”
“Do you know who you’re talking to?”
He gave me a playful shove. “Come on, fire boy.”
After running back in to grab a clean shirt and making sure to lock the door, we crossed through my front yard to the main road for the mile-long trek to Johnny’s place. I can’t say I was too worried about leaving Aunt Marjorie on the kitchen floor. She had passed out enough times everywhere else in the house, so I was sure she would come around eventually.
All I worried about now was what Johnny had said about the cars not working. If we couldn’t get into town, she would go ballistic without booze. That problem was easily fixed though, we could just grab some off Seth and Kelsey. But Johnny’s dad needing non-narcotics? Not so much. That would be a challenge, even with our abundant supply of weed.
The air outside had since turned into a healthier-looking bleak from the previous night, the fields now releasing the last of the fog from their grasp. Not saying the creepy factor had entirely disappeared of course, but at least the weather had improved. Skies were fairly light, the flutter of wings and crows could be heard out in the distance. Admittedly, I was still a little paranoid about walking the same path to Johnny’s, so I kept my ears open for anything unusual. For now, it seemed to be over.
I started wondering what time they had stopped. A thousand questions were flooding my mind about those damn things, but I think that’s the only one that could really be answered. Johnny caught me looking around as we passed field after field, acre after acre, and I was looking around going crazy because part of me still heard it ringing in my ears. It seemed like that noise was almost meant to bury itself into your head and just stay there. I took out another cigarette before asking him.
“So dude, did you hear the beeps stop at all? Like what time was it around?”
“About five-thirty or six if I have to guess. It was right before I took a cold shower since I was downstairs sweating for most of the night surrounded by water bottles. Never again, man.”
“You always say that after you trip balls,” I chuckled.
“Yeah, it didn’t help. That noise kept getting worse and worse, I thought I was gonna go nuts. I was actually praying for a twister to come ravage the whole town so I wouldn’t have to listen anymore.”
“I hear ya.”
“At least you got some sleep. I feel like I was running on a treadmill all night.”
“Need another cig?” I offered.
“I need some uppers,” he sighed, taking one out of the pack as we finally turned off the road and onto his long driveway. The temperature since we left had turned strangely colder, but I didn’t really think too much of it. I was just glad to be out of my house and feeling somewhat normal again. Once we started burning down the barn, I knew things would be a hell of a lot better. With fire, I always felt at home, like I was expressing the most important part of myself.
I thought about that a few minutes and how some people got so freaked out by my love of open flames sometimes, and it made me wonder if those beeping noises and flashing lights weren’t about someone else doing the same. Like maybe someone out there just thought it was funny to scare us or whatever, I dunno. I just wanted my mind off it. Burning stuff was the perfect distraction. Besides, I had to be okay for Aunt Marjorie when I got back. She’d usually go on this huge rampage of bitching endlessly about everything when she was hung over. The electric was obviously no exception, but I didn’t care about that now. Just screw it, I thought. Why bother? We had something to destroy and I wasn’t about to kill the mood.
When we finally reached the yard, I noticed Mike was already there and ready to go. He had brought out all four containers of gasoline from the shed. I had to smile. Thes
e guys knew not to waste time when it came to blowing things up. Even if they were a little creeped out by my fetish, they were fine with it once they saw I was fairly responsible. Fortunately, Mike was never told the truth about the burns on my face from middle school. Johnny had told him it was an accident and that was that.
You gotta understand, Mike was the kinda guy who would freak out about the tiniest scrape on his arm. His parents—or at least his mom, anyway—had babied him up until their divorce. They raised him to be a pretty clean guy, and it was something me and Johnny had spent a good few years trying to break him out of. You had to be willing to get your hands dirty out in the country. I mean come on, it’s practically a staple of southern culture or whatever. So far, the furthest we’d got was getting him to grow out his hair and listen to some 90’s grunge. He still wore Abercrombie jeans, which I constantly had the urge to tear some holes into.
“You better not be startin’ the party without me!” I called.
“Hux! Just laying out the red carpet for ya dude,” he grinned.
“That’s what I like to hear! What’s up?” I gave him a high-five. He sorta winced when he took a good look at my face, which he had never really gotten used to ever since the Bunsen burner incident. His reaction to my scars had pissed me off at first, but I was used to it by now. I just wished he would get the hell over it like everyone else.
“Not much man. Seth is in the garage trying to get the car started, he used the last bit of gas for it. I called Mariah last night, she’s coming over soon to watch.”
“What the hell!” Johnny yelled at him.
“What?”
“You let Seth use the last spare container? I told you this morning we might need that for emergencies, dumbass! We’re outta power and the cars don’t work!”
“He doesn’t listen to me, he wants to keep going.”
We heard the sputtering of an engine desperately trying to start up in the distance. Johnny sighed and rolled his eyes as I went over to talk to Seth. If I didn’t, I knew he was about to get his ass beat. Johnny was usually a laid back guy, but if he told you something, you better listen. I think living with his dad had made him pretty anal about stuff like that. He did a lot of work since it was just him and his old man, so I guess I could understand.
“Hey Bob Marley,” I called, ducking my head into the little garage to the left of the house.
“What up, Torch?” Seth had these really wicked dreadlocks going on for the past year and had just started growing peach fuzz on his chin, but at fifteen he was already taller than I was. Lanky dude, you could snap him in half like a twig probably, although then you’d have to worry about finding a better marijuana dealer.
In Kentsburg, Seth is the king of that shit. Him and his sister Kelsey had set up a hydroponics thing in their basement a few months earlier which their dad had taught them. The guy was a total stoner and so was Seth, though Kelsey kinda stayed away from it. I never quite figured out why, though that didn’t change the fact that I liked her and I still do. She’s a cute girl, but for some reason she insists that weed makes you really dumb unless it’s done in moderation. Me and Seth don’t really get it, but it happened around the same time she came back from vacation in the city, so I guess something must have happened up there. She’ll never talk about it for some reason.
Anyways, Seth is a chill guy, just not quite your typical pothead. For one thing, he’s studied a hell of a lot on technology and mechanics. At first we thought it was because he wanted to make a better hydroponics setup, but he says it’s just because it interests him. He’s also really into books and literature, always reading Shakespeare, Hemingway, Steinbeck, Tolstoy…all kinds of junk I could never sit through in high school. Nowadays, he hangs up at the old library with Ghost when he needs to get away. Funny guy.
“’Torch’? You’re a genius man, I love it.” I lit up another cigarette as he rolled out from under the hood, his face smudged with oil and antifreeze.
“Yeah? You lay one finger on my sister Hux, I’ll break you. Gimme your damn cigarette,” he demanded. He stuck a hand up and I helped him to his feet as he snatched it outta my fingers and wiped his hands on the old gray beater he’d been wearing ever since the day I met him.
“Fuckin’ hard ass,” I laughed, throwing an arm around him. “So you gonna join in the festivities, or do we gotta burn that thing down ourselves?”
“Waste of gas,” he retorted, shaking his head. “It wouldn’t hurt you be useful and help me with the car instead of exorcising your demons.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Trade fire for that piece of junk? Looks hopeless.” The thing was practically rusting all over, missing a headlight, and both tires on the right side were flat.
“Just busting your balls, man. There ain’t a goddamn fight left in her. Fuckin’ 2005 Neon. It’s taken me two hours just to get the damn motor to turn over, and I was lucky for that. I threw some gas in the tank since it was on empty but without a working battery, no cigar anyways,” he said, spitting on the ground. “Thought we could jump it, but everyone else’s car is dead too.” He grabbed his button-down and draped it over his neck, taking a swig from a water bottle he’d left on the ground before walking off to join the others.
I shook my head. None of this made any sense, and even burning down that barn was starting to seem less appealing the more I stayed there in that garage staring at the old rust bucket of a car. It’s amazing how things can go from perfect to complete chaos overnight. Of course I was no stranger to that, having burns over about thirty percent of my body. Still, it never failed to amaze me just how quickly flames can spread.
I heard Johnny and Mike calling for me to do the honors and start the razing, but for the first and probably only time in the entire history of us setting fire to things, I waved them on and told them to start. Johnny just gave me this really weird look, sort of like he was worried about whether or not I was okay. Not like I can blame him. I have to admit that I was starting to worry about myself too. I just couldn’t shake the thought that something was really wrong. Of course he told me things were bad, but I guess I just didn’t want to believe him. Even all the batteries are dead? That makes no sense.
The distant sounds of a couple vultures out in the fields seemed a little eerie as they swooped down to perch on a scarecrow Mike had built before they went flying off again. Gasoline sloshed around in those four red containers as Seth grabbed and opened two of them, hurling it all up at the barn door. The cows were making noise over to the right of the garage where they were penned in safe and sound, and even though the clouds in the sky were getting darker, there was a nice little breeze going. Of course it was gonna rain again, so that was another thing that pissed me off about the morning. I started flicking my lighter out of nervousness.
Just when I thought I was gonna snap and start burning myself right there, I caught sight of Mariah coming up the driveway and smiled. She’s just one of those people who if you see them, you immediately start grinning like an idiot because she’s so beautiful. I don’t mean just beautiful like those pictures of celebrities in magazines from a decade ago or whatever, I mean really. I’m talking about “up-close-and-personal” beautiful. The type of beauty you can’t help but feel when they walk into a room. Mariah has that, though I was never in love with her. We’ve always been best friends.
I more or less grew up with her and we’d meet each other between classes back in junior high and high school to talk about our problems and secrets. She wouldn’t tell everyone about my past and burn fetish if I didn’t tell anyone how many guys she’d broken in and that she was bisexual and getting more interested in girls. Her home life also sucked and she had a history of depression, but for the most part she was over it. All of that was common knowledge now though. If you stayed past high school in Kentsburg, your secrets stayed with you. We all more or less knew each other like we were family. Maybe that’s kinda sad, but at least we can all be honest. I’ve never heard of city folk do
ing that.
“Heya,” she smiled just as I closed the garage door.
“Hey yourself.” She leaned forward to hug me, lending just a pinch of that strawberry scent she always used to wash her hair with.
“How come you’re not all up for burning down that barn? You’re usually so into it.” She hung her thumbs in the back pockets of her cut-offs as she kept chewing her peppermint gum. I just shrugged when I saw Johnny fling a Molotov at the thing. Back when I first taught him how to do that, he sucked real bad and used the underhand method. I was sort of impressed, but not quite excited enough to join them yet.
“I dunno. Everyone’s stuff is dead apparently, electricity is out…didn’t you see those things in the field?”
“Yeah...weird stuff.” She took my hand and we both sat down to watch the others.
“You wanna check ‘em out later?”
“After you go to town on that barn,” she laughed.
“Maybe,” I sighed, picking on the ground at some stones and tossing them around.
“Markus Huxley, I know you better than that!” she exclaimed. “It’s only been a day. How come fire’s not even cheering you up?”
I flicked my lighter again. “All the crazy stuff from last night. It’s kinda hitting me, you know?”
“Harder than drugs?”
“Got any uppers?”
“I brought half,” she smiled, removing a tiny bit of tin foil out of her pocket and unfolding it to reveal a pink little tab of ecstasy cut in two pieces. “One half for you, one half for me,” she grinned. “And you know half of this is strong enough. Wanna roll?”
“That’s why I love you,” I smiled. We each stuck a half on our tongues and did our common little ritual where we kissed and each of us swiped the tab from the other’s mouth. We washed them down quick with Seth’s water. I started to feel better almost right away. So good, in fact, that a reckless thought suddenly hit me. I started thinking about calling Kelsey over. I had to ask that girl out sooner or later, and I didn’t give a damn what Seth thought. She was older than him anyways, and though I knew it was probably a dumbass idea to call her when I was about to get high, it just really excited me. I should forget about the bullshit, stop being a pussy and go for it, I thought.
I quick jumped up and ran over with Johnny and Mike to wing a quick Molotov at the old barn before running back to Mariah, who was already cheering me on. I picked her up for a bit and we danced around until we got dizzy. The euphoria started pumping its way through my veins with every flick of my lighter, every flaming bottle, and every firework the other guys hurled at the barn. The front of it was starting to catch pretty good.
“What if we like, threw a party in one these barns?” I said, rolling on top of Mariah.
“You mean while it was on fire?” She licked my cheek.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “Does that sound hot?” I could feel myself getting hard at the thought, the rush of the X telling me to go for it. I guess it’s worth mentioning that me and Mariah had a history of fucking around, but it was always just a friend-with-benefits thing that didn’t bother either one of us. Being that it was starting to drizzle rain again and we were out in the open yard, it probably wasn’t such a good idea now. Johnny’s dad would flip for sure.
“Ew, get off!” Mariah giggled. We rolled around in the grass a couple minutes until we got tired. I was gonna need some water soon if I was gonna stay conscious in case Kelsey showed up. How the hell I was able to keep one thought in my head, I have no idea.
“Dude, where’s Kelsey? I wanna call her,” I panted after we pulled each other up. “You still got your phone, right?”
Seth must have heard me, ‘cause he sounded pissed. “Hux, I told you to stay away from her!”
“Shut up, I wasn’t talking to you.”
“I mean it!”
“Okay, both of you shut up!” Mariah laughed. “Let me just turn on my phone.” She flipped open her old duct-taped Nokia and held down the power button a couple seconds. The screen still looked black when she snuggled up to me and rested her head on my shoulder as I put an arm around her. “Try again,” she sighed. Several seconds. Nothing. “What the hell, I had a full charge last night.”
“Let me see,” Seth asked, and she handed it to him. He tried unplugging the battery, then clicking it back in. “Hmmm,” he breathed, clicking the power button again. I was starting to sweat from the damn drugs and my heart was already pounding. I could feel Mariah starting to get uncomfortable too as her head slid off my shoulder and she drew her knees up to her chest to squat beside me, panting.
“Hurry up man,” I urged. He tried the same thing over again before reluctantly tossing the phone back to Mariah.
“It’s gone,” he said.
“What? You can’t tell me the cell phones are dead too!”
“Oh, that’s funny,” I said sarcastically. I’d had enough of Seth cockblocking me. I jumped to my feet and shoved him backwards pretty hard, nearly knocking him over.
“Let it go man,” he replied, pushing me back. “I said her phone doesn’t work, try it yourself!”
“You just don’t want me talking to Kelsey! So I guess you want a bottle cracked over your head?” I asked, lighting up a Molotov.
“Bring it, asshole!” he screamed.
Johnny quickly got between us. “Guys, knock it off!”
“You know what, screw it,” Seth said. “You don’t gotta hold me back man, he’s not even worth the fight,” he retorted, stepping away. “He’s hyped up on fuckin’ X. Thanks Mariah, you know how to ruin everything.”
“I didn’t know he was gonna flip! Jesus,” Mariah snapped.
“What are you, stupid? He always flips when you give him that shit!”
“It was only a half, Seth!”
“Half of what? You got two kinds of X in that box of yours! Did you grab the 150’s or the 200’s?”
She gasped. “I don’t know, I found them in my dresser drawer…fuck, I’m so sorry!”
But I wasn’t mad at Mariah. The only thought stuck in my head was how much I wanted to see Kelsey, and as usual, Seth was the only thing standing in my way. My face contorted in anger and pain as I gripped that flaming bottle, ready to smash it over his head if I had to. For several seconds, I let the intensity of the heat build up in the palm of my hand until I felt completely numb. That’s about all I wanted to feel right then anyways.
“Hux listen, just chill, okay? I think I gave you-”
“Stay out of it, Mariah,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Mark…”
“No, I’m not done with Seth!”
“Well I’m done with you!” he shouted.
“Come on faggot, you want a piece?!”
Mariah kept protesting, but I wouldn’t listen. For better or worse, I was possessed by the drug and all too happy to be running my mouth like a douchebag from some bad reality TV show.
“Mark, let go of the bottle before you burn your hand off!”
“I like fire.”
“Don’t even start, just let go!” she pleaded.
“Why should I, Mariah? Huh? WHY!” I shouted. “Because you’re scared? Don’t act like I can’t destroy someone! You know I’m poison to this whole town, and every goddamn kid around here knows that. Maybe that’s why we lost power. You want to be friends? Huh? Why don’t you act like I’m totally nuts? Because it’s true! I’m fucking insane! Everyone knows it, maybe I should act like it!”
The glass was burning the hell out of my hand, I could already feel the flesh on the verge of peeling away. My heart was pounding, the drizzle was dying down to mist, and there was no way to cool down. No way for me to stop. I had to, wanted to. Had to leave, wanted to run. I didn’t care if I passed out. Why the hell does nothing work around here?!
“Hux, let go of the bottle now!”
“Let go? Let GO?! This is in my blood!”
“You son of a bitch!”
Suddenly, she
ripped the bottle right out of my burning hand and hurled it straight at the barn where it exploded in a billion tiny shards before I even had another chance to mouth off. Then she slapped me hard across the face, and I swore for just the smallest fraction of a second that I could feel the sting of her skin connecting with mine beneath the burnt layers of scarred flesh on my cheek.
“This wasn’t your fight,” I said, feeling like my heart was gonna explode out of my chest. Tears were running down my face from the heat.
“Shut up!” she cried. “It’s my fault, okay? I grabbed the wrong pills, I just wanted you to feel better!”
“If you want me to feel better, then stay the hell away from me!” I yelled, charging off down the driveway.
“Hux, is this about you or Kelsey?”
Seth tried to drag her away, but she kept following.
“He’s not gonna make any sense right now, you know that. Just let him go and he’ll come off it eventually.”
“No, you don’t know him like I do, okay? Hux, wait!”
“Better listen to him Mariah,” I warned her.
“No. What’s this really about?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me!”
“IT DOESN’T MATTER!” I shouted, trudging back. I didn’t even know where I was gonna go. “From now on, I want everyone in this town to know that I’ll fight fire with fire. It doesn’t make any damn difference what I do because I’m going to hell anyways. I know your grandfather thinks so!”
She chased after me. “That’s not true!”
“Stay outta my way.”
“Well then here,” she said, tossing a bottle of water at me. “You’ll need this.” I felt a quick kiss singe my cheek before I turned and pushed her away. She looked pretty shocked.
“Mariah…I said leave me alone.”
I didn’t even wait for a reply from her. I just kept walking.