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"Do you believe Im mad?"
Still smiling, she nodded.
"Why? Never mind what the Pelerine told you. Have I said anything to you tonight to make you think so?"
"Or spellbound, perhaps. It isnt anything youve said at all. Or at least, not much. But you are not just one man. "
She paused after saying that. I think she was waiting for me to deny it, but I said nothing.
"It is in your face and the way you move - do you know that I dont even know your name? She didnt tell me. "
"Severian. "
"Im Ava. Severian is one of those brother - sister names, isnt it? Severian and Severa. Do you have a sister?"
"I dont know. If I do, shes a witch. "
Ava let that pass. "The other one. Does she have a name?"
"You know shes a woman then. "
"Uh huh. When I was serving the food, I thought for a moment that one of the exultant sisters had come to help me. Then I looked around and it was you. At first it seemed that it was just when I saw you from the corner of my eye, but sometimes, while weve been sitting here, I see her even when Im looking right at you. When you glance to one side sometimes you vanish, and theres a tall, pale woman using your face. Please dont tell me I fast overmuch. Thats what they all tell me, and it isnt true, and even if it were, this isnt that. "
"Her name is Thecla. Do you remember what you were just saying about losing humanity? Were you trying to tell me about her?"
Ava shook her head. "I dont think so. But I wanted to ask you something. There was another patient here like you, and they told me he came with you. "
"Miles, you mean. No, my case and his are quite different. I wont tell you about him. He should do it himself, or no one should. But I will tell you about myself. Do you know of the corpse-eaters?"
"Youre not one of them. A few weeks ago we had three insurgent captives. I know what theyre like. "
"How do we differ?"
"With them. . . " She groped for words. "With them its out of control. They talk to themselves - of course a lot of people do - and they look at things that arent there. Theres something lonely about it, and something selfish. You arent one of them. "
"But I am," I said. And I told her, without going into much detail, of Vodaluss banquet.
"They made you," she said when I was through. "If you had shown what you felt, they would have killed you. "
"That doesnt matter. I drank the alzabo. I ate her flesh. And at first it was filthy, as you say, though I had loved her. She was in me, and I shared the life that had been hers, and yet she was dead. I could feel her rotting there. I had a wonderful dream of her on the first night; when I go back among my memories it is one the things I treasure most. Afterward, there was something horrible, and sometimes I seemed to be dreaming while I was awake - that was the talking and staring you mentioned, I think. Now, and for a long time, she seems alive again, but inside me. "
"I dont think the others are like that. "
"I dont either," I said. "At least, not from what Ive heard of them. There are a great many things I do not understand. What I have told you is one of the chief ones. "
Ava was quiet for the space of two or three breaths, then her eyes opened wide. "The Claw, the thing you believe in. Did you have it then?"
"Yes, but I didnt know what it could do. It had not acted - or rather, it had acted, it had raised a woman called Dorcas, but I didnt know what had happened, where she had come from. If I had known, I might have saved Thecla, brought her back. "
"But you had it? You had it with you?"
I nodded.
"Then dont you see? It did bring her back. You just said it could act without your even knowing it. You had it, and you had her, rotting, as you say, inside you. "
"Without the body. . . "
"Youre a materialist, like all ignorant people. But your materialism doesnt make materialism true. Dont you know that? In the final summing up, it is spirit and dream, thought and love and act that matter. "
I was so stunned by the ideas that had come crowding in on me that I did not speak again for some time, but sat wrapped in my own speculations. When I came to myself again at last, I was surprised that Ava had not gone and tried to thank her.
"It was peaceful, sitting here with you, and if one of the sisters had come, I could have said I was waiting in case one of the sick should cry out. "
"I havent decided yet about what you said about Thecla. Ill have to think about it a long time, probably for many days. People tell me I am a rather stupid man. "
She smiled, and the truth was that I had said what I had (though it was true) at least in part to make her smile. "I dont think so. A thorough man, rather. "
"Anyway, I have another question. Often when I tried to sleep, or when I woke in the night, I have tried to connect my failures and my successes. I mean the times when I used the Claw and revived someone, and the times when I tried to but life did not return. It seems to me that it should be more than mere chance, though perhaps the link is something I cannot know. "
"Do you think youve found it now?"
"What you said about people losing their humanity - that might be a part of it. There was a woman. . . I think she may have been like that, though she was very beautiful. And a man, my friend, who was only partly cured, only helped. If its possible for someone to lose his humanity, surely it must be possible for something that once had none to find it. What one loses another finds, everywhere. He, I think, was like that. Then too, the effect always seems less when the deaths come by violence. . . "
"I would expect that," Ava said softly.
"It cured the man-ape whose hand I had cut away. Perhaps that was because I had done it myself. And it helped Jonas, but I - Thecla - had used those whips. "
"The powers of healing protect us from Nature. Why should the Increate protect us from ourselves? We might protect ourselves from ourselves. It may be that he will help us only when we come to regret what we have done. "
Still thinking, I nodded.
"I am going to the chapel now. Youre well enough to walk a short distance. Will you come with me?"
While I had been beneath that wide canvas roof, it had seemed the whole of the lazaret to me. Now I saw, though only dimly and by night, that there were many tents and pavilions. Most, like ours, had their walls gathered up for coolness, furled like the sails of a ship at anchor. We entered none of them but walked between them by winding paths that seemed long to me, until we reached one whose walls were down. It was of silk, not canvas, and shone scarlet because of the lights within.
"Once," Ava told me, "we had a great cathedral. It could hold ten thousand, yet be packed into a single wagon. Our Domnicellae had it burned just before I came to the order. "
"I know," I said. "I saw it. "
Inside the silken tent, we knelt before a simple altar heaped with flowers. Ava prayed. I, knowing no prayers, spoke without sound to someone who seemed at times within me and at times, as the angel had said, infinitely remote.
Chapter Eleven
Loyal to the Group of Seventeens Story - The Just Man
The next morning, when we had eaten and everyone was awake, I ventured to ask Foila if it was now time for me to judge between Melito and Hallvard. She shook her head, but before she could speak, the Ascian announced, "All must do their share in the service of the populace. The bullock draws the plow and the dog herds the sheep, but the cat catches mice in the granary. Thus men, women, and even children can serve the populace. "
Foila flashed that dazzling smile. "Our friend wants to tell a story too. "
"What!" For a moment I thought Melito was actually going to sit up. "Are you going to let him - let one of them - consider - "
She gestured, and he sputtered to silence. "Why yes. " Something tugged at the corners of her lips. "Yes, I think I shall. Ill have to interpret for the rest of you, of course. Will that be all right, Severian?"
"If you wish it," I said.
r /> Hallvard rumbled, "This was not in the original agreement. I recall each word. "
"So do I," Foila said. "It isnt against it either, and in fact its in accordance with the spirit of the agreement, which was that the rivals for my hand - neither very soft nor very fair now, Im afraid, though its becoming more so since Ive been confined in this place - would compete. The Ascian would be my suitor if he thought he could; havent you seen the way he looks at me?"
The Ascian recited, "United, men and women are stronger; but a brave woman desires children, and not husbands. "
"He means that he would like to marry me, but he doesnt think his attentions would be acceptable. Hes wrong. " Foila looked from Melito to Hallvard, and her smile had become a grin. "Are you two really so frightened of him in a storytelling contest? You must have run like rabbits when you saw an Ascian on the battlefield. "
Neither of them answered, and after a time, the Ascian began to speak: "In times past, loyalty to the cause of the populace was to be found everywhere. The will of the Group of Seventeen was the will of everyone. "
Foila interpreted: "Once upon a time . . . "
"Let no one be idle. If one is idle, let him band together with others who are idle too, and let them look for idle land. Let everyone they meet direct them. It is better to walk a thousand leagues than to sit in the House of Starvation. "
"There was a remote farm worked in partnership by people who were not related. "
"One is strong, another beautiful, a third a cunning artificer. Which is best? He who serves the populace. "
"On this farm lived a good man. "
"Let the work be divided by a wise divider of work. Let the food be divided by a just divider of food. Let the pigs grow fat. Let rats starve. "
"The others cheated him of his share. "
"The people meeting in counsel may judge, but no one is to receive more than a hundred blows. "
"He complained, and they beat him. "
"How are the hands nourished? By the blood. How does the blood reach the hands? By the veins. If the veins are closed, the hands will rot away. "
"He left that farm and took to the roads. "
"Where the Group of Seventeen sit, there final justice is done. "
"He went to the capital and complained of the way he had been treated. "
"Let there be clean water for those who toil. Let there be hot food for them and a clean bed. "
"He came back to the farm, tired and hungry after his journey. "
"No one is to receive more than a hundred blows. "
"They beat him again. "
"Behind everything some further thing is found, forever; thus the tree behind the bird, stone beneath soil, the sun behind Urth. Behind our efforts, let there be found our efforts. "
"The just man did not give up. He left the farm again to walk to the capital. "
"Can all petitioners be heard? No, for all cry together. Who, then, shall be heard - is it those who cry loudest? No, for all cry loudly. Those who cry longest shall be heard, and justice shall be done to them. "
"Arriving at the capital, he camped upon the very doorstep of the Group of Seventeen and begged all who passed to listen to him. After a long time he was admitted to the palace, where those in authority heard his complaints with sympathy. "
"So say the Group of Seventeen: From those who steal, take all they have, for nothing that they have is their own. "
"They told him to go back to the farm and tell the bad men - in their name - that they must leave. "
"As a good child to its mother, so is the citizen to the Group of Seventeen. "
"He did just as they had said. "
"What is foolish speech? It is wind. It has come in at the ears and goes out of the mouth. No one is to receive more than a hundred blows. "
"They mocked him and beat him. "
"Behind our efforts, let there be found our efforts. "
"The just man did not give up. He returned to the capital once more. "
"The citizen renders to the populace what is due to the populace. What is due to the populace? Everything. "
"He was very tired. His clothes were in rags and his shoes worn out. He had no food and nothing to trade. "
"It is better to be just than to be kind, but only good judges can be just; let those who cannot be just be kind. "
"In the capital he lived by begging. "
At this point I could not help but interrupt. I told Foila that I thought it was wonderful that she understood so well what each of the stock phrases the Ascian used meant in the context of his story, but that I could not understand how she did it - how she knew, for example, that the phrase about kindness and justice meant that the hero had become a beggar.
"Well, suppose that someone else - Melito, perhaps - were telling a story, and at some point in it he thrust out his hand and began to ask for alms. Youd know what that meant, wouldnt you?"
I agreed that I would.
"Its just the same here. Sometimes we find Ascian soldiers who are too hungry or too sick to keep up with the rest, and after they understand we arent going to kill them, that business about kindness and justice is what they say. In Ascian, of course. Its what beggars say in Ascia. "
"Those who cry longest shall be heard, and justice shall be done to them. "
"This time he had to wait a long while before he was admitted to the palace, but at last they let him in and heard what he had to say. "
"Those who will not serve the populace shall serve the populace. "
"They said they would put the bad men in prison. "
"Let there be clean water for those who toil. Let there be hot food for them, and a clean bed. "
"He went back home. "
"No one is to receive more than a hundred blows. "
"He was beaten again. "