breathe before taking off again. He wondered what his mom was doing right now. Why are thinking about that? You never think about that bitch. Yet his mind wanted to be there, between those wallpapered walls on Saturday nights when she was depressed because her guest spot on that soap opera never became anything permanent, and her husband left her for a younger prettier gal, and she couldn’t handle anything but a bottle of beer, and she left him with that babysitter who used to take him into the bathroom and put his adolescent dick in her mouth…
Josh slapped the wheel with his hands, painfully frustrated all of the sudden. Don’t think about that shit, why are you thinking about that shit?
He took a deep breath and fished out a Camel Red and put on some Ramones. This would hopefully take him out of his funk. Then it was back to speeding in the black Bugatti, off to Birth. He’d focus on Birth’s pain for a while and hopefully forget about his own.
Surprisingly, 952 Devils Button had a lot of promise. It just needed someone who cared enough to come in and fix it up. The white paint was badly chipped and the boards on the porch felt loose. In fact Josh didn’t want to spend too much time on them for fear they’d cave in.
He hoped the doorbell at least worked. Leave it to Birth to get the house pretty much right in front of The Black Rock. Josh was happy, though, to see the warm light coming from inside the house and to hear Birth’s footsteps as they neared the door. He sounded in a hurry to answer...
They didn’t even say hello before they hugged. Birth smelled like the beach, he felt warm and dirty. He couldn’t believe how tight Birth was hugging him. He’d fantasized about this, but under better circumstances of course.
Kiss him, Josh thought, but he practiced restraint. Birth stepped back and Josh stared at him. His face was puffy from crying and his hair was adorably messy. Birth had this trick he could do, he could lick his nose with his tongue. It was something he did during an interview once with MTV. It was something Josh had never forgotten and still to this day made him smile.
“Jesus fuck,” Josh said, still feeling a bit overwhelmed. “That was a long drive…” He looked around, took in the house. It was furnished and looked lived in. How long had Birth been staying here? Josh thought he only had that apartment in West Cove.
“How you doing?” Josh asked, focusing on that first.
“Unbelievable I guess would describe it…” Birth muttered as he trudged off into the kitchen, which was just a few steps away from the front door. There was a back door in the kitchen with a bare window that gave way to the inky darkness of Devils.
Josh followed Birth halfway into the kitchen. He just couldn’t get over it. Everything was set up – he had appliances, dishes, everything.
“I just don’t know…what makes people so evil. Like how do they start…when do they start becoming so evil?” Birth blabbed as he filled a glass with water. “Maybe a couple years ago something came along and sucked everyone’s soul out while they were sleeping,” he turned around and faced Josh. “I don’t know, it just all feels different. Everyone seems different.”
Josh frowned, not following Birth’s disorderly thoughts.
“I moved out here and thought…” Birth shrugged. “I’d be scared but I’m not and the ironic thing is that’s scary. The scary thing is nothing scares me anymore.”
Josh felt like he didn’t know this person, like he’d stepped into some sort of vortex. He was less creeped out back in Cheviots!
Birth turned and looked at Josh as he leaned against the kitchen counter, holding a carton of OJ. He was thinking the same of Josh as he reviewed his pale face, black eyes and black face. Sometimes Josh was handsome, and others he looked kind of like a spook – a cartoon character drawn by a nervous hand. When they were stripped of their usual nightlife and stage props and spotlights and loud guitar, they became pretty peculiar to one another.
“You want some juice?” Birth asked him.
“Uh, sure.” Juice? Birth turned around and filled another glass.
“All I wanted was to be left alone, and he couldn’t even do that. He had no problem not being around when I was a kid – oh but now? Now that I have fucking money?” Birth’s hostility refilled his tone. “He follows me around a goddamn grocery store, I look up from getting a box of Rice Krispies and he’s right fucking there, like are you kidding?”
“You could get a restraining order,” Josh suggested, but he felt like it was lame. “Or just beat his ass.”
“I just want him to go away,” Birth said, wholeheartedly. “I don’t owe him anything. Why can’t you abort your parents? Why can’t it be the other way around?”
“I know. Come here,” Josh held his arm out and Birth came over, but he was still tense. He only stayed there for a minute before walking out of the kitchen.
“Do you want to see the Sand Room?” he said.
Josh could barely keep up. The Sand Room?
“Sure.”
They headed up the carpeted spiral staircase that rained down from the second floor and spilled out into the middle of the living room that included one of the biggest flatscreen TVs in the entire world. You could actually sit on top of the staircase and watch TV from there. You could sit out on the patio and watch it. The damn thing was that massive.
“So even though my dad has found out about this place and no one hangs out here but ghosts, please, please keep this a secret from the band, Josh Devin. I don’t want Stokey knowing. I don’t want his weird abusive fatherly side yelling at me for this. I might be young, but I’m a man and I make my own decisions.”
“Okay, Birth Hiloff.” Good lord, he was pent up! Birth was not what the fans thought he was, their perception of him was a bit off. They thought he came from a rich family because he looked pretty and clean-cut, but Birth grew up in a trailer park in Paradise Cove. It looked like the set of a John Waters film and had heartbroken tales of love on every corner like a John Hughes film. Meanwhile Lyle came from a pretty well-off family and when he made the decision to learn how to play guitar his family was supportive and bought him an expensive Les Paul and encouraged him nonstop. On top of that, he had one those cool uncles that took him around to shows and even taught him a few of his favorite Thin Lizzy and Creedence Clearwater Revival tunes.
Josh first met Birth in a restaurant one night. He overheard Birth talking about Rolling Stones and he used the word fuck a lot, and he looked cute and sleepy and kept tugging on the beanie he was wearing. He kept saying, “Where would we be without The Stones, dude? Where the fuck would we fucking be?” Then he said, “I’m gonna do it, fucking start a fucking band. I just gotta find the right fucking people and shit. I need fearlessness.” I need fearlessness. That kept playing in Josh’s head. What a wonderful thing to say.
Josh approached him and that was pretty much all it took. They just got along, from that second on.
“I won’t say a thing to anyone,” Josh promised as they turned down a very narrow, dim hallway. He wanted Birth to feel safe. He wanted Lyle to feel happy. He wanted Stokey to feel appreciated. He was constantly trying to make these things happen. Anyone who thought being in a rock band was just about having fun was terribly off the mark.
“So…is it haunted here? I mean have you seen ghosts?” Josh asked, trying not to sound nervous.
“Uh…” Birth’s voice sounded hoarse as he went into a small room that still felt spacious, its roof was made of glass so you could see all the stars, and there were little white candles lit everywhere. The entire floor was sand – it was like a big sandbox.
“What the hell…” Josh laughed. “Birth, this is nuts.”
“No,” he said, quite frankly. “No, actually,” he turned and said, with a funny grin on his face, “Its sand. Its amazing. Take your shoes off.” He was starting to sound like his old self again, tickled pink by everything.
“This is the craziest house on the planet.”
“Take your shoes off,” Birth said, unyielding but giggly. There was something uni
que in the air, something more than just friendship. Something great and crazy was about to happen…
Josh pushed the heel down of one shoe with the other until he was barefoot. He kicked his shoes aside and looked at Birth with an amused frown.
“Take your socks off too, dude,” Birth just said. Josh couldn’t do anything at the moment but look at Birth, who was now sitting on the couch. He looked so beautiful in this candlelit room under the stars. How did Josh get so lucky? To be here. To be alive. The drive was worth it.
Josh removed his socks and walked over to the couch, surprised to find the sand warm like it was on the beach on a hot day.
“How is it this warm?” Josh inquired. Birth just laughed.
“The floor is heated, dude, so it feels just like the beach.” They were quiet for a minute as Josh sat down next to him, leaving enough personal space between them.
“Yeah its…haunted,” Birth finally answered Josh. I wake up sometimes and hear something downstairs. Like its creepy, at first I thought it was the house, because its on the verge of falling apart, but one time I started to go down there and check it out and I heard someone running, like, I distinctly heard someone running, dude, like running out of the house. I thought oh shit it’s a burglar but then…” Birth licked his lips and looked at Josh. “I go outside and I see one…one of those kids I think, that shot