Just focus on Shai.
Her long blond hair. But now it’s matted with blood.
Those incredible blue eyes. Eyes that had barely registered recognition when she looked at me. The further he ran the darker his thoughts became.
Acute pain attacked his left side and he squeezed it.
Breathe. In. Out. Run. Run. Keep running.
Breathe.
Whose blood was all over Shai? Hers?
He shivered. She would've attacked him if Elchai hadn't called out to her. But he saw in her eyes she wasn't really there. She hadn't been standing in the Center's Core. When she had raised the knife and came at him it wasn't him she was seeing.
Then who?
"Who did you see when you looked at me, Shai?" He spoke into the darkness. He asked the ragged shadows of rocks as he passed them. He lifted his face to the black sky and asked the wind that whipped through his hair and tore tears from his eyes.
You know who she saw. And you know where she is and who she is with. The voice penetrated his questions. Familiar and cold. Taunting and teasing.
Gershom was close now. I suppose I’ve always known it was close. As close as a person's next breath. The veil was always there, hanging between two realms, rippling in the icy wind he felt in his soul.
Shai, I know where you are and I’m coming for you. He felt her teetering between life and death. He knew she was standing on the threshold between Gershom and Edan. He wondered if she could feel the same cold wind that he felt. The harsh gusts that turned his blood to ice, his breath to frost.
Another memory rose in his mind, vivid in color. Sounds so loud he had to listen. His feet stumbled for footing, but still he ran while looking inwardly at the sudden memory.
They had been walking along the water (was it the river of Lael or the channel in Kent? He didn't know.) The three of them swinging their clasped hands: Remiel and himself with Shai between them. It was the last time he could remember being happy. Shai had squeezed his fingers and he smiled at her profile. The smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose danced when she crinkled her face in a laugh. His heart soared and ached at the same time. He loved her. He truly loved her. He nearly told her so, but he heard that voice. The voice that would often return to chill his soul and eventually harden his heart. That day he heard it for the first time.
“Be careful she isn’t taken from you. You can’t trust Remiel.”
He had glanced sideways and saw Remiel's face as he watched Shai, the same hungry look he imagined he himself had when he was with her.
Something had twisted in his gut when looked at Remiel and Shai's interlaced fingers. Remiel was certainly more alive, more excited when he was with her. But who wouldn't be?
She was golden. Like honey on the lips.
He remembered the sudden dryness of his mouth. The instant sweat that slicked his palms. And he made a vow. I will do anything to protect Shai. Anything.
The memory dislodged something long-buried. An undefinable agony that ripped into his chest and left a gaping hole where his heart had been.
Aliah tripped on a loose stone and turned his ankle. He fell sprawling on the ground and felt the skin roll back from his palms and knees as the sharp gravel and dirt embedded in his flesh.
He spat and sat up. The memory dissolved like a spoonful of salt beneath his tongue, leaving behind a bitter taste.
I’ve been a fool. Listening to the voice had poisoned him against Remiel and twisted his own love for Shai into something selfish and evil.
He grabbed fistfuls of his hair as he cried out inside. Why? Father, why did you try to destroy my life? All this time I’ve let you into my head because I thought you were helping me. But you’ve never wanted to help me. You’ve always hated me. Why?
CHAPTER 64
Shai
Dried blood on her hand made her skin itch.
She gripped Remiel’s hand tighter and let him lead her down the long dark hallways. And when her bare feet could no longer carry her, when the skin on her heels and toes cracked and bled and the pain made her stop, he picked her up. He carried her.
Through hallway after hallway. He ran. Always running, never stopping. Her arms circled his neck, her head rested against his shoulder. The fabric from the dirty wrap around the lower half of his face tickled her cheek. Or maybe it was his blood, still flowing, that had dripped from his wound onto her face.
She was covered in his blood. Dried and fresh. And it mixed with her own. The pungent scent sharp in the darkness.
That smell was the only thing that reminded her that they were both still alive.
CHAPTER 65
Aliah
He saw the yellow glow of its eyes first. Piercing the darkness. Haunting.
After he'd fallen, Aliah's pace had slowed. His knees burned, his lungs ached and his blood pounded incessantly in his ears like the roar of the waterwheel in the Core. Confidence had given way to sheer determination long ago, and his feet thundered on by force of will.
The sight of the amber eyes slicing through the veil of night brought him a strange twist of relief. He knew he'd been watched by this wolf even as he had watched the Laelites. Its presence lurking and waiting for an opportune moment to whisper dark thoughts to him. To send him messages from his father beyond the veil of death.
Maybe this was it. He exhaled and wiped the sweat from his brow. He wouldn't fight it. He deserved what he got.
He bit his lip. He was ready for Gershom.
"Come for me!" He yelled into the darkness. The yellow of the wolf's eyes blinked out like two flames that had been blown out.
Aliah dropped to his knees and opened his arms wide. He tipped his face up, exposing his throat and a tremor of fear arced up his spine. He braced himself for the impending attack.
"Come..." Something hit his chest and knocked him backward, his breath escaped in a whoosh. He gasped and coughed then waited for the second attack.
This is too easy. I won't defeat you like this. Stand up and fight like a man. The voice hissed inside Aliah’s head.
Rocks and sticks bit into his back as he lay on the ground, but he didn't move. He smiled. The voice sounded almost irritated. Maybe because the puppet strings had finally been cut. He was his own man now. He may still hear the voice, but its power over him had broken.
He spread his arms and legs out and forced his eyes to stay open. "Come for me." His invitation rose barely above a whisper.
Suddenly the weight of the wolf was there, on his chest. Crushing him. He could see nothing but darkness and the pressure on his body made him think that in few moments he'd be one with the earth. He didn't struggle, but let the air escape from his lungs little by little. The muscles around his mouth twitched as his frozen smile threatened to fade.
The yellow eyes appeared again, inches above his face. At the same moment he felt icy fingers around his neck, crushing his windpipe. His legs trembled, his lungs pleaded for oxygen.
A cloud moved and a pale shaft of moonlight slanted across a familiar face. Hair he knew to be the same shade as the flecks of amber in the eyes, mouth twisted into a sickening grin.
It came as no surprise that Zev was the angel of death.
Aliah's fingers trembled against the blade he still held in his right hand. Hatred flowed like ice through his veins. The edges of Aliah's vision clouded. Soon I will cross over Gershom's threshold. He let the blade roll off his fingertips.
"You're really stupid. Why would you kill yourself just to enter Gershom? Won't do anyone any good to have you dead. You always were the dumb one." Zev released the pressure on Aliah's throat, enough for Aliah to take a breath, but he refused to. The trembling in his legs became violent.
"Remiel's dead. Shai's dead. Died together, in each other's arms," Zev sneered.
Aliah's survival instinct kicked in and he gasped. He coughed and rolled onto his side, sputtering and cursing.
"Ah, there you go. I knew that would get to you." Ze
v rolled off Aliah then sat cross-legged beside him while drumming his fingers on his knees.
"Take your time and catch your breath. You're not going to go that easily." Zev narrowed his eyes. "I don't know why you waste your time trying to be the hero. What are you trying to prove? That you're worthy?" Zev snorted and shook his head.
Aliah collapsed back on the ground, breathing heavily.
"Worthy of what? Daddy's love? Well, your father doesn't want you. He never did. Poor, poor orphan boy." Zev leaned over and looked into Aliah's eyes. "He doesn't want you! You hear me?" Zev yelled into Aliah's face and specks of spit hit Aliah's lips. Aliah tried to steel himself, not against his father's voice this time, but against Zev's words. Words that sliced into his heart.
"He chose Remiel, not you! You failed, remember? You tried to murder Remiel. You.Tried.To.Kill. Your. Brother. And that's why your father disowned you. He couldn't stand to look at you. You sniveling coward!"
Pain roared through Aliah's body as he curled up tight, fighting the tide of memories. Wave after wave of shame crashed upon his soul like a storm-ridden sea when it pounds the shore. Suppressed guilt unleashed its agony and bitter tears sprung to his eyes.
A new pain exploded in his back as Zev kicked him again and again as he lay curled on his side. Each time Zev rammed his foot into Aliah's side he punctuated it with curses and shouts. Liar! Murderer! Loser!
Aliah surrendered to the pain in his body. It washed over him and would've relieved him if not for his tormented mind. I deserve this. I deserve punishment. I am deserving of whatever Death wants to do to me.
He scratched the earth and left scars in the soil with his nails. He crushed a handful of gravel in his fists and let the sharp rocks slice into his palms. Let my blood run. Let it flow.
He'd cut himself open and let his blood soak into the ground if he thought it'd wash him clean. But he was filthy. His blood too filthy to clean anything.
He pulled his hair until his scalp went numb, but the physical pain paled in comparison to his mental anguish.
Finally a shuddering sob erupted from a deep place in his chest. "My brother! My brother, I didn't mean... No! Remiel, please... oh please." He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in the dirt. Zev brought his boot down on Aliah's lower back, then ground his heel into Aliah's spine. Pain shot up his back, travelled along his nerves and ended in an explosion in his torso.
Then nothing. The pain left. Zev disappeared, swallowed up in the curtain of darkness that suddenly descended.
CHAPTER 66
Aliah
When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw in the dim half-light was the little mountain of gravel still inside his clenched fist. The cold stone floor bit into his cheek as he laid face-down. Where am I?
He tried to lift his head, but a peculiar weight prevented him. He blinked and focused past his hand. Iron bars stretched before him as far as he could see without moving his head.
Dread washed over him.
Gershom.
At least I made it. He swallowed hard. Why do I feel so funny? It wasn’t pain but a kind of heaviness. He tried moving his legs, his toes, anything, but nothing responded. Panic bubbled up. He tried again. There. He watched his index finger shiver with effort. Then his thumb.
Something dripped near his head and splashed its fetid liquid on his face when it landed. He strained his ears and heard more dripping, then something else. Something moving beyond the bars. Someone walking in heavy boots. The boots stopped outside the bars. The toes were scuffed and worn. Buckled up the side. The sound of jingling keys flooded him with a mixture of fear and hope.
The bars slid open and the boots came. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Until they stopped near Aliah's closed hand.
"My son. What have you done?"
That voice.
Aliah closed his eyes. "I'm not your son." His own voice sounded strangled and rough, his throat restricted and painful where Zev had choked him.
The toe of the boot touched the back of Aliah's hand. "No? Well whose son are you then? Certainly not Elchai's. You told him so today." The boot pressed Aliah's hand into the ground a little harder. "Isn't that right? Didn't you tell him what you just told me? I'm not your son."
The voice mocked and the pressure increased on Aliah's hand. He heard bones grind and pop and he gritted his teeth, waiting for the pain. But it never came. When Samael removed his boot, Aliah stared at the little flecks of dirt that stuck to the tread mark embedded in his hand.
"Stupid little orphan boy. Look at you on the ground. Big Kentite warrior." Samael knelt close enough for Aliah to see his face. He looked into the same green eyes as his own, the same thin straight nose and full mouth. Even the dark hair was the same. The right side of Samael's face looked swollen and purplish-black.
Samael touched Aliah's face and the heat from his finger seemed to burn into Aliah's cheek. A small comfort to know he could feel it.
"Zev crushed your back, kid. But he did you a favor. You won't be able to move, but you won't feel much pain either." Samael leaned over and whispered in Aliah's ear, "Just tell me where the Book is and I will help you."
Aliah spat and tried to shake his head.
"Then tell me what this means." Samael moved to draw something in the thin layer of dirt on the floor. Aliah's eyes hurt from the strain so he closed them.
"Look at it!" Samael grabbed the back of Aliah's sweater with one hand and his trousers with the other and half-lifted, half-dragged Aliah closer to the drawing.
Scratched into the dirt, the size of a man's hand, were three interlocking circles.
"I think you already know what it is."
Samael released him and Aliah’s face smacked the floor.
"If I did, why would I bother to ask you? I've seen it on you and now Shai. What does it mean?"
Aliah frowned. If Samael doesn't have the Book and he doesn't know about the Coalition then he isn't the one trying to prevent the Coalition from forming. But who is?
He spat dirt out of his mouth then spoke into the floor. "How can you not know that brand, Samael? Haven’t you seen the Book? Isn’t it you who writes the Laelites’ infractions in the Book every evening? You’re the one who makes us go through the Readings, so how can you not know what that symbol means?" Aliah braced himself for the blow he was sure to receive for speaking insubordinately. But the prison cell remained still.
When at last Samael spoke Aliah had to strain to hear it. "I’ve never written in that bloody Book. If I had I wouldn’t have bothered with all that pettiness. That Book has the power to control people, more than the pendants you begged me for."
Anger burned in Aliah. "All you’ve wanted was the Book? Then what does Shai have to do with anything? Why involve her?”
"Stupid boy. For revenge." He snorted then laughed. "Your jealousy over your brother’s relationship with Shai made you turn on him. From there it was too easy. When you thought you'd killed your brother and you came to me for help it was simple to make you think your father disowned you for what you'd done."
Aliah's head swirled. "You planted those thoughts in my mind!”
“So? I didn’t make you act on them. That was all you. All I wanted was revenge for what Elchai did to me. Shai is just a pawn. Losing both you and your brother will be Elchai’s undoing.”
Tears burned Aliah’s eyes. “Why did you convince me that you’re my father?"
Samael knelt beside Aliah again and ran his fingers through Aliah's thick, dark hair. With a jerk, Samael snapped Aliah's head back and Aliah found himself looking into Samael’s eyes. Two swirling, black pools of hate and revenge.
How could I have believed I looked anything like this man?
"I didn’t convince you of that. You came to that conclusion on your own after the pendants altered your memories. I never wanted to be your father. But I was willing to do anything to get back at Elchai. I hate Elchai, and you... because you look just like him!" Samael slammed Aliah's face in
to the stone floor and Aliah waited for the pain. Samael rammed his face again, but Aliah only felt the pressure of Samael's hand gripping his hair, and the wetness of his own blood as his face was crushed against the floor over and over. A loud crunching noise echoed in the stillness of the prison cell, and a shiver rippled through Aliah when he realized it was the sound of his own nose breaking. He spat out broken fragments of his teeth that glowed bright white in the dark crimson puddle of his own blood.
The memory of Remiel’s voice flashed into his mind: it’s the truth that counts. Beliefs will either be a prison or a key to freedom.
Just before everything turned dark, Aliah finally knew he was nothing like this man.
I really am free of him. He smiled when he thought of the irony: that the brutal tyrant he thought was his father was disfiguring the face he had once believed they shared.
He closed his eyes knowing he would die looking nothing like the man who never loved him.
His heart ached as he thought of his real father, Elchai.
I’m sorry I was so angry with you. I wish I knew then what I know now. Thank you for never losing sight of who I really am. I'm glad I got to come home and see you. Good-bye, Father.
CHAPTER 67
Shai
The length of time they had been running through the dark, putrid-smelling hallways was measured only by the sounds of Remiel’s labored breathing, and the slapping sounds of his feet on the stone floor.
Remiel ran slower now, as his heart beat a staccato rhythm beneath her cheek. If it weren’t for the fear icing her veins, she might have fallen asleep in his arms.
A pale circle of light from a ceiling lamp splashed the walls and floor in a milky-white pool just ahead of them. The softness of the light only accentuated the horrors of where they were. The effect startled her.
The walls were a strange, dark sludgy color. They were made of jaggedly-cut stones with chunks of mortar missing where patches of something dark and fuzzy clung to the stones like gnarled fingers. The walls merged into the floors and ceiling and gave the impression of being in an underground tomb.
The more Shai looked around, the more it seemed as though they were somewhere deep in the earth, away from sunlight and fresh air. She imagined tons of earth pressing in on the sides and top, sealing them in this place of death forever. She closed her eyes as Remiel stepped away from the light and cut into a dark recess in the wall that was hidden in the shadows.