Alan felt his stomach rumble as he pulled into the parking lot of the Beechwald Panera. It had been a fairly busy Sunday putting the finishing touches on the Hammond website, grocery shopping and getting a bunch of chores done around the house that he had been putting off. The last time he’d eaten was in the early morning and he was absolutely famished now.
It had been an unseasonably cool day—chilly enough that Panera's management had decided to fire up the gas log fireplace centrally located in the coffee shop. There were a several patrons seated near the fireplace drinking coffee and fiddling with their laptops. Alan ordered a soup and sandwich combo, went over to the counter and poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down at a table near the fire until his order was called up.
Halfway through his sandwich he noticed a familiar face enter the shop. Libby Thorsen spotted him at the same time and headed straight over to his table, her four-year-old daughter Joanie in tow.
Alan stood up and gave her a hug.
“Libby, how are you?” he said.
“Wonderful, I haven’t seen you in months! How are you doing, Alan?”
“Great! Wow, I can’t believe how big you’ve gotten!” he said to Joanie.
The little girl smiled broadly. “I’m gonna be five years old next birthday!”
“Whoa, you are getting big!”
“Would you mind some company?” Libby said. “Brad’s with his buddies watching football so I decided to get out of the house and come here for a bite.”
“Of course—why don’t you guys go order and I’ll hold down the fort.”
Libby removed her jacket, slung it over a chair and took Joanie by the hand. “Thanks, we’ll be right back.”
Alan watched as his wife’s best friend and her daughter walked over to the counter. Seeing Libby after all this time stirred up his emotions in a big way. It was impossible not to recall all of the times he and Julie had hung out with Libby and Brad, playing cards, going to the Buckeye games and taking day trips to nearby towns. He had always liked the couple and he now felt a pang of sorrow knowing that those days were gone forever. Since Julie had died, he had spent very little time with the Thorsens despite the frequent calls he had gotten from Libby the first several months after her passing. Libby had always encouraged him to join them for this or that and he had always politely declined. This had been just one of the many adjustments he had been forced to make over the last couple of years. And it never got any easier.
After she brought their food over, Libby sat down across from Alan and gave him a sympathetic smile.
“So what have you been up to?” she asked.
“Oh, not a whole lot. Still designing websites and trying to keep this gut under control. I’ve actually been working out a little,” he added, grabbing his midsection with both hands.
“That’s good, although I don’t think you’re in that desperate of a situation. You should see Brad now—he’s probably put on fifteen pounds since you last saw him! And he, unlike you, can’t really afford the extra baggage.”
Alan tried to visualize Brad Thorsen fifteen pounds heavier and it was hard to do. The guy was already two-ninety-five if he was a pound and built like a sumo wrestler. He was also a few inches shorter than himself, making his huge girth even more pronounced.
“Sounds like he needs to cut down on those milkshakes!”
Libby laughed. “That, he will never do! Anyway, you look pretty good, my friend. Although you look sort of tired. How are you uh, getting along in that big house?”
“Fine. I’ve thought about moving out and getting something smaller every now and then but I always figure what the hell? I love the place even though it’s a drag keeping it maintained and the mortgage payments are so reasonable. If we hadn’t gotten such a great deal on that house, it could be a bit challenging making ends meet otherwise.”
“So your business is doing well?”
Alan nodded. “Not bad at all, really. I’ve kept pretty damn busy, I must admit. And how are you, Libby? Have you gone back to work or are you still a stay at home mom?”
“Eat your soup, Joanie,” Libby said to her daughter. “Still at home. We were actually thinking about making another one of these little people, but it’s up in the air. It’s great having kids and Brad doesn’t think one is enough. I’m pretty much all for it but I’m not sure it’s the wise thing to do right now. Brad’s job has been a little shaky lately, for lack of a better word.”
“Sorry to hear that. It’s definitely not a great time now, economically speaking, that’s for sure. But at least we’re finally on the mend,” Alan added, referring to the recent presidential election.
“May I ask you something, Alan?”
“Sure.”
“You have to promise you won’t get mad at me.”
“Hmm. This sounds scary. But I could never get mad at you, Libby, so go for it.”
Libby took a sip of her water and looked him straight in the eye. “Have you been out with anyone? I mean, have you dated anyone since Julie passed on?”
Alan looked at this round-faced, easygoing woman sitting across from him and saw the compassion in her eyes. He sensed that asking him this had taken about all she could muster up and he hated to have to disappoint her.
“Not really.”
“What do you mean, ‘not really?’”
“I’ve hung out with a few women on occasion but not in a, you know, serious way.”
“And why is that, Alan? I mean, I don’t want to sound like a nag but don’t you think it’s time to move on? I know for a fact that Julie would want it that way.”
Alan thought a moment before replying. “I know, but I just can’t do it. Not now, anyway.”
“If not now, after two years, then when? I mean—none of us are getting any younger. Don’t you want to get married someday and start a family?”
“Used to want that—that’s why I married Julie. But now she’s gone. I’m just not into that concept anymore. Doubt if I ever will be, actually. Sorry, but I guess I’m just a one-woman man. I had my woman and now she’s gone. It’s like, well, that’s just the way it is.”
“Mom, can I have another cookie?” Joanie said.
Libby glanced at the child’s nearly full soup bowl and said, “If you finish your soup, you can have another cookie. You need to do a better job on that sandwich, too. You know the rules, Joanie—no dinner, no snacks.”
“Okay,” she replied with a scowl, taking a small bite out of her sandwich.
Libby’s eyes turned to Alan. “I’m worried about you, Alan. I have been worried ever since all of this happened. You just don’t seem like the same person I used to know. Listen, I miss Julie too. More than you could ever know. I mean—I’d known her practically my whole life! But I also know that life goes on—that bad things like this happen and even though it’s horrible we still have to keep on living. You just seem so, I don’t know, down, for lack of a better word. I want to see you happy again, Alan. For your sake, for Julie’s sake.”
“I’m happy, damn it!” he insisted. “I wish everyone would believe that. I’m tired of everyone ganging up on me, saying I’m so miserable and all. That’s really not the way it is. I’ve got my work, my health and all is good. I don’t need to be with someone to be happy, Libby. I appreciate what you’re saying, but don’t worry about me. Please. I’m going to be just fine.”
Libby shook her head. “Okay, I’ll back off. Will you promise me something, though?”
Alan cast her a doubtful look. “What would that be?”
“That if you ever decide that you want to date someone, that you will let me know?”
Now he was suspicious. “Why would you want me to do that?”
Libby smiled mysteriously. “I’ve got my reasons, let’s just say.”
“Let me guess. You know some beautiful chick that has a crush on me and you want me to go out with her.”
“I’ll never say,” she sang.
“Hmm. Whatever. That’s all I’m gonna
say.”
“Okay, Mister Stubborn. Let’s change the subject. What would you say to coming over for a barbecue and a Browns game before the warm weather is total history? We’re planning on having a few folks over next weekend and I’d love to see you come.”
“No strings?”
Libby narrowed her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to set you up on a blind date or anything like that. Just the Browns and brats on the grill. What do you say?”
“Okay, I’ll be there.”
“Great—next Sunday it is, then!”
Afterwards, Alan walked Libby and Joanie to their car, promising her for the third time that he would see them the following weekend. As he headed over to his own car, Alan was already feeling regret for having agreed to attend the barbecue. It wasn’t that he wanted to be a hermit or anything, he just felt awkward hanging out with the Thorsens’ without Julie there at his side. After all, she had been the common denominator in the relationship with them and it just seemed pointless to continue the friendship now that Julie was gone forever.
After opening his car door, he lost grip of his keys and they fell to the pavement. As he stooped down to retrieve them, Alan felt something brush past him from behind. He whipped his head around just in time to see a small black and white dog leap from the driver’s seat onto the passenger seat and sit down. It was panting and staring at him excitedly, appearing to be quite comfortable sitting there.
“Well now, where in the hell did you come from, dog?” he exclaimed. Alan sat down on the seat and reached over to pet the dog, which looked like a border collie/terrier mix of some kind. The dog responded by licking his hand.
“You are certainly a cute one, and I’m sure that someone is looking for you right this minute, pooch.”
Alan leaned over and looked for a collar but the dog wasn’t wearing one.
Not sure exactly what to do, he got out and went around to the passenger side and opened the door. “Come on, let’s go see if we can find your owner.”
The dog remained planted there on the seat, refusing to get out. Alan tried to pick it up but the dog refused to budge.
“Come on now, don’t be stubborn. We have got to try and find your owner before it gets any darker.”
Twilight had fallen and the parking lot lights were already turned on. Feeling desperate now, Alan shut the car door and headed toward High Street. He looked up and down the busy street but didn’t see anyone who appeared to have lost a dog. He walked a block or so in either direction from the Panera, keeping his eyes peeled for the dog's owner but with no luck. With a sigh, he returned to his car.
He got back inside and noticed that the dog was lying down on the seat now, his head resting on his paws, his eyes looking over at Alan as if to say “surely you’re not going to turn me away now, are you? Look how cute I am!”
Alan decided that he couldn’t simply force the dog out and leave him there, so he started the engine, glanced over at it and said, “I guess we’d better go find you some food and put you up for the night, pooch. But tomorrow, we’re going to have to find your home.”
The dog, which didn’t appear to be more than a couple years old, smiled over at him.
Alan drove to the neighborhood Kroger and bought a small bag of dry dog food along with a food and water bowl. When he returned to the car, he saw the dog sitting up in the driver’s seat with its paws resting on the steering wheel anxiously awaiting him. Grinning to himself, Alan got in and the dog immediately gave him a big lick on the cheek.
“Yeah, and hearty hello to you, too!” he chuckled.
After Alan pulled into his driveway and parked, the dog jumped out of the car and followed him to the door, apparently confident that it would now be staying the night with its adopted master. Once inside the house, Alan took it into the kitchen for a good look-over before feeding it. The dog was a female, apparently well fed and cared for and didn’t appear to have any fleas or ticks. She was clearly not a stray and the fact that she didn’t have a collar or any tags was puzzling. Alan wondered how he would go about finding her owner and figured that he would cross that bridge when he got to it tomorrow.
The dog ate ravenously and drained the whole bowl of water. Alan took her out to the backyard so she could relieve herself then went into the family room to try Charlie Ling again. He had gotten his voice mail earlier that day.
“Hey Charlie, any luck with those traces?” he asked when Charlie answered.
“Hey Alan. Well, I’m making some progress but no results for you yet. The e-mail has been a dead-end and is going to be a real ball-buster I can tell you already. There is clearly some heavy duty security software involved with the server. The website URL, however, is looking a little more promising. I mean, I can’t give you any specifics yet but I’m making some headway on that. May have something for you in the next couple of days.”
“Great, that’s good to hear. I tried to find a homepage for it last night and as you no doubt have already discovered, there isn’t one. Thought that was odd.”
“Yeah, it is odd but not unusual. My experience has been that either the web site is still in development or the ISP is some small potatoes outfit that hardly anybody ever uses. Could be that the ISP owner and website owner is one in the same. I’ll know more tomorrow probably.”
The dog suddenly barked loudly and Alan’s heart nearly gave out.
“Did you get a dog?” Charlie asked.
Alan recovered and said, “Not really. The dog has gotten me, it appears. She jumped into my car down at Panera and won’t leave me alone. Gonna have to try and track down her owner tomorrow I guess.”
“I see what you mean now about the girls always coming to you,” Charlie joked.
“Hilarious. Anyway, I’m struck with her for the night and she seems to be telling me that I’m ignoring her too much by talking to you.”
“Just like a woman! I wish you all the happiness in the world with your new love.”
“Jesus, Charlie, you are one demented son of a bitch,” Alan said, laughing.
“Hmm, takes one to know one. I’ll give you a shout tomorrow if I have anything for you, Alan. I gotta get going now.”
“Okay Charlie. Have a good one.”
Alan spent the evening watching television and kicking back a few beers. He turned in fairly early, his faithful companion snuggled up to him in the king size bed. They both fell fast asleep in less than a minute.