It shimmered and appeared to shake in the Doctor's hand. Its
cold white light reminiscent of silver or platinum glittered
with sapphires, rubies, diamonds and emeralds - every
precious stone that existed. The gold fletchings shook and
rustled in the breeze. The slender point was very stylised,
certainly not made to kill, and the long shaft bore lettering in
an unfamiliar runic alphabet.
The Arrow of Artemis. The Roogalator. The beam intended
to rest on the fulcrum of the Cosmic Balance.
Chapter 26
The Arrow of Law
THE DOCTOR HANDED THE arrow to Mrs Banning-Cannon, who took it
in both hands with sudden respect. Someone came forward
with a plush cushion, and she placed the arrow on it. She
turned toward the winning side, who stood grouped and
waiting, and spoke in her poshest voice: 'Robin, Earl of
Lockesley, who brought his team, the Gentlemen, to success
against all odds, it is my great pleasure to present you with
the winning Silver Arrow of Artemis! Jolly well played
everyone.'
As Bingo, on behalf of the team, stepped forward to receive
the arrow, it seemed to Amy that the entire multiverse glowed
and pulsed in the sky in celebration.
Huge applause rang out from all supporters and team
members. Everyone, including the Visitors and the Tourists,
thought the Gents thoroughly deserved their victory. In the
surrounding skies of Mustard Mull, the Chaos Engineers
hung over the rails of their steam tugs and yachts and red-
sailed Loondoon barges, intent on the ceremony, and roared
and cheered with the best of them. Amy spotted the Bubbly
Boys and recognised Captain Quelch's yacht.
The Doctor and Amy looked at the Arrow as it was passed
from hand to hand. 'So here's the Roogalator which is going
to save all Creation!' Amy said, a little disbelievingly. 'I'll
never understand.'
'It's a trick I used to pull a lot. Hide one thing in another
thing you want to hide. I put the arrow inside the TARDIS,
and the TARDIS inside the bucky ball before we left Peers™.
It was much smaller then. That way, both things were safely
hidden, yes? Now let's hope we can find a way to get the
Roogalator back into place. We've only got one crack at it,
you know. Whatever we do next, if we're successful, will be
reproduced across the multiverse, as our story will be retold
in some form for ever. But, if we fail, of course, that's the end
of us all. And all our stories...'
A little impatiently Amy said, 'Are you going to make it
any bigger. Or shrink us, or what?'
He became embarrassed. 'That's a snag I hadn't
anticipated,' he said. 'It should have come back to its regular
size when I took it out of the bucky ball.'
'You mean we're stuck here!'
'Only until we get back to the universe we left. I have to
admit I thought that Miggea might keep all her characteristics
and allow me to bring the TARDIS back to normal size. I think
I might have been wrong...'
'Stuck here until Miggea returns to our own space-time?
How long is that?'
'Local time or our time?' He scratched his head.
'Oh, god!' She looked around at the cheering people. 'So
we're stuck here. Maybe for the rest of our lives.'
'Maybe.' He was beginning to look a bit shifty. 'But we
can't leave here now anyway. We have things to do.
'So what do we have to tackle next?' Her look of disgust
would have sent a Barsoomian banth whimpering back to its
cave.
'We're waiting for Captain Abberley and the Bubbly Boys.
They've set off to capture Quelch. See, they—'
Bingo came racing up, arrow in hand, flushed with
pleasure and radiating confidence. 'I say, Amy! That was
great playing today! Can I have a quick word?'
'Well, we're a bit busy, Bingo.'
'Come over here, where it's quieter.' He took her arm and
pulled her towards the shade of the pavilion. 'Look. I wasn't
going to say anything until a bit later, but I'm walking on air
at the moment and my bally stupid nerve isn't likely to hold,
so I'm doing it while the bowstring's sizzling, as it were. I'm
only a backwoods countryman with an interest in whackin'
and shootin', what?'
She had been dreading this moment, hoping to avoid it.
'Bingo. You're so sweet and brave and you're really, really
kind...'
'Then there's some hope - I mean - will you - would
you?'
She grinned, still hoping to deflect what was coming.
'Won't you join the dance?' she added, quoting Carroll.
'Sorry, you don't know Alice, do you? It's a lovely bit of
nonsense.'
'Amy. This isn't nonsense.' Bingo gurgled. He fingered
his bow. He seemed to be offering her the Silver Arrow. He
kicked fiercely at the ground. 'I'm wondering if you'd like to
be the next Lady Lockesley. Run the show with me, what?'
He glared at the sod of turf he had kicked up. 'There it is. I've
said it.' He stood panting like a retriever who has fetched at
least three ducks in one go.
Amy could dodge and weave no longer. 'Bingo,' she
began. 'You're a super bloke. A catch for any smart woman.
But - oh, dear, Bingo, I'm afraid I can't accept. You see—'
'Oh, gosh. I've really made an ass of myself, haven't I?'
Bingo was once again giving his celebrated impression of
a stop light. 'You've already got someone at home or - oh,
lor' - not the Doctor? I thought he was just your boss or
something...'
'It's very complicated actually and it would be hard to
give a complete explanation, but I'm not free to...'
'Dash it. I've turned up too late as usual.' Bingo kicked
another large lump out of the turf. 'Missed the jolly old boat,
what?'
'Oh, Bingo! You're a smashing bloke. A girl couldn't want
anything more than what you offer. You're sweet, generous,
funny, good-looking - most women would snap you up.'
'But not this particular woman,' he said. He looked rather
like a punctured airship. The picture of deflation.
She kissed his cheek and squeezed his arm. 'Not this
particular one,' she said. 'Sorry.' She felt so wretched as she
watched him slump away.
Then, to her astonishment, she saw the Doctor come racing
up, spot Bingo, grab the arrow out of his hand and carry on
running. 'Come on, Amy! What on earth's happened to him?
He promised...'
There was the faint lowing of a steam-whistle.
'Sounds like him now.' The Doctor perked up. 'Can you
see him, Amy?'
'Hey!' cried Bingo behind them.
A familiar ship suddenly poked its prow out of the
surrounding yellow matter of Mustard Mull. Amy recognised
the Now the Clouds Have Meaning as the boat swung round
and lay bobbing at anchor. With his bow in one hand, the
Silver Arrow in the other, the Doctor waved.
Brian Abberley saluted him back. 'How do, Doctor? I see
you've brought t'Roo
galator. Shall we get on with it?'
Bingo followed them up the ladder. 'I say, Doctor. That
arrow...'
Captain Abberley gave the arrow an approving onceover.
'That's t'beggar all right. Our sweet old Roogalator! Nice
going, chaps!' He looked from the Doctor to Bingo to Amy.
'But is that all you have? It's no good...'
'What do you mean?' the Doctor looked totally bewildered.
'I've brought the ancient Arrow of Law and it's imbedded
with the equally timeless Jewels of Chaos. It's the blooming
Roogalator, boys. It's what makes the worlds go round,
keeps the clocks ticking. We've been defending it against
all comers. We played the game of our lives to win it. Just
in time. Another few moments and we'll all be dissipating
dust. At best. We've brought it as close to the centre of the
multiverse as anyone's ever dared, and you're telling us it's
useless!'
'I didn't say it was useless, Doctor. Trod's t'beam. T'star's
t'fulcrum and t'bloomin' planets are t'pans. Everything
matches, see. But just having t'Arrer is like having an
H-bomb. It's no good without a delivery system. That's what
tha's missin', old chum. T' delivery system.'
Chapter 27
Running for the Centre
'DELIVERY SYSTEM?' NOW THE Doctor looked as deflated as Bingo.
Amy was baffled, too.
'Of course! That's why they were after the hat!' The
Doctor laughed aloud. 'That's what Frank/Freddie knew
they needed. And why we've been confused about this all
along. It was hidden in the hat. Diana of Loondoon's own.
She disguised it. What was in it?'
Amy remained baffled. 'I don't know. Lace? Feathers?
Rings and things? Buttons? And - oh, wow!'
'Exactly! I was using it. I had it in my hands. And she had
it all along! Under our noses!' The Doctor vaulted over the side of the little steamboat. Followed by Amy and Bingo, he ran
back towards the pavilion where triumphant players were
still gathered discussing the win.
In the middle of these, strutting her stuff a little, as she
had every right to do, stood the great W.G. Grace, leaning
on her antique bow and shaking hands with her team and its
opponents. 'Very kind,' she said. 'I didn't think I could do it
at first. The bow's not really my strong point.'
'You were never sure, were you, W.G.?' The Doctor leaned
forward and snatched the bow from her unsuspecting hands.
'But now you are sure, you won't want that! I need it rather
more than you do. In fact everyone needs it more than you!'
'Eh? Have you gone barmy, Doctor?' Hari Agincourt
stepped forward.
But the Bearded Lady was no longer triumphant. Indeed,
she looked a little downcast. 'So you worked it out, eh,
Doctor?' She moved to the railing of the pavilion and leaned
against it. From somewhere nearby a steam-whistle sounded.
Its note was urgent. 'Yes, it was me. I recognised the bow as
the famous Bow of Diana which, according to legend, was
lost with the Elgin Marbles and the British Museum centuries
ago. I was disgusted, I have to say. I was going to liberate the
bow from that dreadful hat shop when we stopped over in
Loondoon. It was obscene what they were doing. I planned
to buy it. But Mrs B-C got to it first. She had no intention, she
said, of ever selling it. So I pinched the hat from her when
we were all at Lockesley Hall. I used an anti-grav handler
to float it out of the window and into the shrubbery. I was
standing under the bedroom window pretending to have a
smoke round the comer. Nobody saw me. A bit later, when
all the fuss had died down, I retrieved the hat from the
shrubbery and messed it up a bit, tugging the bow, which
was used as support for a mere decoration, out of the hat. I'd
seen a picture of the thing years ago so I knew what it was:
a genuine religious relic! She used it in that ridiculous hat,
which was nothing less than blasphemy. How she came by
it, I'll never know. My plan was to donate it to the Archery
Museum on Twang in Calypso, but I thought I'd use it first,
to see if it improved my shooting. Which it did...'
'I remember now. You and the First Fifteen were going
round the shops at the same time I was.' Mrs Banning-Cannon
glared. 'You only had to ask...'
'I think that's what Diana found on Venice and took back to
Old Old Earth with her,' said the Doctor. 'I wish I'd realised...
Still, it might never have come here if you hadn't wanted to
improve your bowing, W.G. I suppose we have you to thank.
But I think Diana knew what the bow was and how to get
it here. Where's Diana now, Mrs Banning-Cannon? Captain
Cornelius might want to know when - well, i f - we get back
to the Gargantua.'
'She's still in Loondoon, as far as I know,' murmured Mrs
Banning-Cannon dreamily, suddenly aware of the astonishing
Romance she was involved in. Her holiday experience had
mellowed her considerably.
Amy had been listening. 'And that's who Captain
Cornelius's lost love must be. Diana knew where we were
going, knew old Ironface would probably recognise it and
trace it back to her. Where can she be? Here, maybe? Or still
in Loondoon - waiting.
The steam-whistle sounded again.
The pair started running for it, with Bingo not far behind.
'Hang on! I'm coming with you.'
'Well, technically, I paid for it,' began the matriarch. But she
understood, somewhere in her bones, that this wasn't really
the most appropriate response. She watched as the Doctor,
Bingo and Amy clambered aboard the little steamboat, while
the others stood open-mouthed, still not altogether sure what
was going on.
'I'm really sorry!' cried W.G. Tears were coursing down her
cheeks, filling her beard and making it glint like diamonds.
'I'm such an idiot. I had no idea how important that bow
was. I should have guessed that was why they thought we
still had the hat. They'd sniffed the bow when I had it in my
case.'
Then Captain Brian Abberley gave one last farewell blast
on the steam-whistle and the little boat was paddling back
up the sky which turned from yellow to dark mauve.
'Purple Pastures,' said the Doctor. 'It's been so long since
I was here!'
Through Purple Pastures with a dozen vessels chugging,
whining and moaning behind them. Into Bluebell Bay and
still going.
'So old W.G. was the culprit all along!' Bingo shook his
head. He realised that Mr Banning-Cannon would now
know the truth. In his mind's eye his deed to Peers™ was
disappearing with all his other dreams. And poor Hari's and
Flapper's dreams, too, for that matter.
'That's why she hung on to it through thick and thin,' said
the Doctor. 'That's why she wouldn't let anyone else handle
her bow case. She certainly confused any pursuit - and
confused us into the bargain. Isn't it lovely? Ebony and ivory!
The art of fusing the two i
nto a bow has been lost but you see
them sometimes represented on old Greek vases and friezes.
The bow of Diana, the huntress. And the woman Captain
Cornelius has sought for countless years.' The Doctor ran his
hand along the stave's length.
'What?' exclaimed Amy. 'A goddess. A real goddess?'
'Real enough for Cornelius,' he said.
Now their surroundings shifted to a brilliant green.
'Emerald City, next stop,' said the Doctor.
' What???' exclaimed Amy again. She almost hit him when
she realised he was laughing.
'Green Glades, I think,' Abberley told her.
Bingo was standing disconsolately at the rail looking over
the side as the little boat steamed its way through the colour-
zones of the Second Aether. Amy suppressed an urge to go
over to him and comfort him. Then she gasped in wonder.
They had broken out of Green Glades into a place that
smelled and looked like the roots of the universe, a great
tangle of tubers, of purple and yellow, of gold, black, maroon
and orange. And laid on that a matrix of dark green, brown,
jade green, crimson, silver, amber and cerise. Gigantic roses,
pink, white, yellow and scarlet, intertwined to form a canopy
of coruscating colour which opened out into another view
of the multiverse and another and another, with glimpses
of crowded planets blazing like orbs, coronets and sceptres:
the Crown Jewels of Olympus. And through all this the
little steamboat chugged doggedly along until suddenly the
engines stopped.
And there was silence.
Below them they saw blackness; a blackness so intense
nothing could escape it. Spiralling into it and out of it came
threads of vivid orange, pale greens, spatterings and swirls
of light blue beaches, yellow jungles, orange, pink and ochre
seas, burnt amber rivers, fields of gold and glowing maple,
spouts of liquid rubies, flowing sapphire and fusions of black-
green, foam-white, startling combinations of a thousand
shades of green and the flickering powders of silver, dust
grey, pewter and bronze, all creating a funnel through which
they peered down into a soul-sucking blackness.
'What is it, Doctor?' Bingo asked, his heartbreak
momentarily forgotten.
'We're looking through the Sagittarian Schwarzschild
Radius from the perspective of the Second Aether,' explained