Chapter Sixteen
The kiss shifted, gentle exploration giving way to urgency, hunger building between them. His hands, no longer content to brush over her clothes, delved deeper, seeking bare skin, kneading, grasping. It was as if he touched her everywhere at once, and giving in to her dormant needs, Cady slid her hands up under his shirt. His body was rock-hard and masculine, the ridges of muscle under her fingertips bunching and shifting under her touch.
In a blur of movement he had her pressed back into the fragrant grass, the blades tickling her bare skin. His expert touch distracted her from everything but living in the moment, but in the corner of her mind Cady was dimly aware that something felt wrong. It was all moving too quickly. Her heart beat too fast, her mind clouded and dizzy as she wrenched her lips from his.
“Stop,” she gasped, but he fell to kissing along the underside of her jaw, undeterred.
“You want me, I can feel it.”
“I didn’t want…” Unable to articulate the sudden fear that gripped her despite the pleasant sensations he still wrung from her body, she turned away from his kiss. “It’s too much. I can’t breathe.”
“Let me love you, Cady. I want to know.”
“Know what?” He kept up his tender assault, lips questing, fingers coaxing, the world spinning and spinning until she felt him pressing against her thigh and panic surged again. “I said stop!” She shoved against his chest and he went sprawling, landing in a heap several feet away. Tugging her clothes back to rights, she darted a look at him, surprised to see him unmoving. “Are you okay?”
He made no move to cover himself, lying back against the grass, one knee crossed over the other. “I don’t understand,” he said dully, staring up at the sky. “You were enjoying it. I didn’t force you.”
“I know, I was,” she admitted, taking a deep, steadying breath. Even now, her heart still raced like a thoroughbred. “I don’t know what happened, I felt like… like I couldn’t catch my breath. Like… I might die if we didn’t stop.”
“I’m sorry.” He rolled toward her, features twisted with regret and possibly a bit of fear. “I lost control, I didn’t mean to take so much.”
“For what? It’s not your fault, really. It’s me, I’m all screwed up inside. I can’t even enjoy a freaking dream,” she laughed, falling back to stare at the branches overhead. Trust her to get a panic attack the first time a hot guy showed up in her dreams.
“It doesn’t have to be a dream. You have only to call and I will come.”
Cady turned her head to find him staring at her intently. “What are you talking about?”
“Wake and call my name. I will find you.”
“I don’t even know your name.” That was a sobering thought. Did he even have a name?
“Yes, you do,” he smiled. “If you listen well enough, you’ll hear it.”
And then she was alone, lying on the grass. Cady listened, straining to hear his name as promised. “What’s your name?” A sound teased the edge of her senses, but it was too wispy, snatched away by the breeze before it reached her ears. “What’s your name?” she called out again.
Jolted awake, Cady fell back against the pillow, feeling more tired than when she’d gone to bed. She lay there thinking about the incredibly vivid dream and her strange would-be lover. There was a heavy ache between her legs, frustration lingering after the abrupt ending to the promise of delights. Returned to reality, she could give herself a mental kick for stopping him from finishing what they’d started. What was the harm in a little fantasy? It wasn’t like sleeping around with real guys.
Dragging, she took a slow, lingering shower, the dream gradually slipping away and images of another tattooed man sliding into her waking thoughts. Was that why she’d dreamed of a man pursuing her so relentlessly? To counter the sting of Ethan’s rejection? Woodenly, she went through the motions of the day, hoping to run into him in the hallway, or the elevator, but he’d gone back to whatever it was he did to pursue his investigation.
Days went by with no sign that Ethan even still lived next door, and for all she knew he’d moved away. She fell into a lazy rhythm of work, and sleep, lacking the energy for much else. More of a rut, really; she resisted any attempts from friends or her brother to do more than roll into bed after work.
The dreams came every night, strangely lucid dreams that she recalled with perfect clarity upon waking. The details varied, but he was always there, her dream lover, or wannabe lover, at any rate. After the first dream he stopped trying to seduce, content to let her set the scene, eager to talk to her, and get to know her. In the construct of the dreams they took walks in the park, along the shore, once he took her to the top of Coit Tower to see the city sprawling below.
He brought her gifts at first, but when she failed to gush over the sparkling jewelry, he worked harder at tempting her. A single rich truffle, a bracelet of tumbled rose quartz, coffee that tasted of cinnamon and spices, a single flower. There was always a tender kiss before he left her and the sense that he was tightly restrained. With a single word, she could unleash the dizzying passion she’d felt before, but something kept her from uttering it.
After all their talks, she still knew precious little about him, even his name continued to elude her. But she enjoyed his mixture of world weary charm and unexpected wonder when she showed him the simplest of things, like the joy of peanut butter and chocolate.
It became so that she preferred the dream world to her own, and that scared her when she stopped to think about it. That and the way she shuffled through life, dull and listless, only feeling truly alive when he was by her side. Something about it made her mistrust the dreams, convincing her that it wasn’t normal. She had to break the cycle.
Instead of lingering for as long as possible, she set her alarm for noon, determined to do something with the Saturday afternoon. Penny was happy to hear from her and readily agreed to meet at the movies. Sadly, a willing spirit was no match for her exhausted body, and halfway through the movie, Cady dozed in the cool, dark theater.
This time there was no dream lover waiting in the wings, and she dreamed of sailing a small boat across glassy water, in pursuit of a small, dark shape that never grew any bigger. Despite not getting closer to her quarry, Cady felt no frustration, enjoying the fresh tang of the air and the open sea.
Penny looked a little worried when she finally shook her awake, the tail end of the movie credits scrolling across the big screen. Mumbling an apology, Cady stretched her back first one way and the other, feeling much more vigorous even after such a relatively short rest.
“Geez, if you were so tired we could have done the movie another time.”
“I’m sorry, Pen. I seem to be tired all the time lately.”
“Maybe you should go to the doctor? Maybe you have mono or narcolepsy or something.”
“Maybe I should go to a shrink,” Cady sighed, slinging her purse over her shoulder. “I keep having these weird dreams.”
“Oh, I love hearing about people’s dreams.” Penny’s dark eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “Tell me all about them, maybe we can figure out what they mean. Are they nightmares?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that, not exactly.” Cady led her out of the theater and into the heat of the afternoon, walking towards the park without thinking about it. Of course it wasn’t the park, that was in a different part of town in her old neighborhood, too far to easily walk to. As they strolled, she told Penny about the gifts, the long walks on the beach, glossing over the more intimate details of the first dream.
“What’s so bad about that?” Penny blinked when she was finished.
“Nothing, I guess. But I’ve been so tired lately, and it’s kind of weird, me dreaming about the same guy every night, don’t you think? Almost like I’m dating him in my mind.”
“No, it makes perfect sense. Your subconscious keeps throwing a variation of the same set of circum
stances at you, waiting for you to get some relief.”
“So, you’re saying I should sleep with him in the dream and then it’ll all go away?” Cady laughed. She expected an answer like that from Kelli, but it surprised her to hear it from the usually reserved Penny.
“I’m saying it’s only a dream. Why not go for it? It’s not like you’re getting any in real life, are you?”
“Well, no… but…” Cady felt like she hadn’t done a good job at explaining the unreasoning terror she’d felt the one time she’d let him start to get close. “Penny, I can’t help feeling like… if I give up my control and give in to him, I’ll lose something.”
“What could you possibly lose?”
“I can’t explain it. I just know that the one time I accepted him I felt…” Cady froze as she caught a familiar reflection in the window. Was that…?
“Felt what?” Penny prompted, oblivious to the discovery.
It was Ethan. Now that she knew what to look for, it was easy to spot him loitering across the street, looking off in another direction. Was he following them? Only one way to find out… “Hey, let’s go to that Chinese place around the corner.”
“I don’t want anything spicy, it’s too hot out,” Penny complained, but Cady grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her down the street anyway.
“We can see if they got their air conditioning fixed.” In truth, she could care less where they ate, she only wanted to see if Ethan followed.
“Can’t we eat something light instead? How about some frozen yogurt?”
“Fine, frozen yogurt is fine, just keep moving.”
“Boy, you’re grouchy today,” Penny scowled, letting herself be led.
By the third block Cady spotted Ethan again, moving slowly, but still following in their same direction. “Hey, I need to stop here for a sec,” she said once they turned the corner. I’ll meet you in the froyo place in a minute.”
“You need to see the bail bondsman?” Penny looked up at the sign dubiously.
“Yep, just for a sec.” Cady didn’t skip a beat. “I’ll be there in a minute, okay?” She had to get out of sight before Ethan came into view.
“Okay…” Penny frowned, looking back over her shoulder at Cady as she continued down the street. Cady ducked into the office, crouching behind a fake potted palm, trying to ignore the dust while she kept watch on the street through the glass door.
“Jou nee some help, hoaney?” a heavily accented voice asked, and Cady darted a look behind to flash the heavy set, Hispanic woman a quick smile.
“No, I’m good, thanks.”
“Jou got a appoinmen?”
“Yes, um I do. But I’m early. Don’t mind me, I’ll just wait here.”
“What tingh is you appoinmen, hoaney?”
“Um, three.” Cady had no idea what time it actually was, her internal clock was all messed up lately.
“Eet’s already three-thoorty.”
Ethan strolled past the door, not so much as glancing in her direction and Cady came out of her hiding place. “Oh, sorry to bother you then,” she smiled, slipping out the door and falling into step behind him. He approached the frozen yogurt shop slowly, glancing inside casually before crossing the street. Cady jogged after him, ignoring the slow moving traffic, like he did. He spotted her when he turned to lean against the building, his shoulders sagging in recognition.
“Funny meeting you here,” she called out when he looked like he might walk away.
“Not really, it’s my neighborhood too.”
“What are you up to?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Cady challenged him, but he merely shrugged. “So, you’re not following me then?”
Ethan shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “No, I’m not following you.”
“Oh come on, I saw you back there blocks ago. Do you expect me to believe you just happen to be going the exact same way?”
“I’m not following you,” he insisted stubbornly. “I’m just making sure Penny is okay.”
“Penny?” she blinked in surprise. “Why wouldn’t Penny be okay?”
“You know why.”
“Have there been any other victims? I haven’t been watching the news lately.” She hadn’t been doing much of anything lately.
“No, which is why I’m back to watching out for Penny, waiting to see if they’ll make a move on her next.” He darted a look to the frozen yogurt’s entrance. “You didn’t tell her about any of this, did you?”
“No, of course not. But… don’t you think maybe I should? If you’re following her you must think she’s in danger.”
“It’s only a precaution, at least until I get some indication where he’s hunting again. Please don’t tell Penny I’m following her, it’ll make it a lot harder to keep tabs on her.”
“Alright, but maybe I should stay with her for a couple of days.” Penny lived alone, which made her a lot more vulnerable.
“No, don’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll end up making it worse.”
She scowled at that, waiting to see if he explained his reasoning, but the only thing that came out of his mouth were a few choice swear words uttered under his breath. Cady looked up to see Penny at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. Neither one of them spoke as they waited for her to approach.
“Hey, what’s up? I thought you were coming in to get some yogurt.” Penny smiled at Ethan expectantly. “Who’s this?”
“This is…”
“David,” Ethan interrupted with the briefest of smiles. “David Brown. Nice to meet you. It’s Penny, right?” They shook hands while Cady stared, wondering why he felt the need to give a fake name. Then again, the name on his mailbox was D. Brown. Maybe Ethan was the fake name?
“How do you two know each other?” Penny asked, looking between them.
“We live in the same building,” he answered glibly. “Listen, I didn’t mean to interrupt your girls’ day out. Cady, I…” Ethan hesitated before giving her a helpless shrug. “You have a great afternoon.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you around, David,” Cady said dryly.
“He seems nice,” Penny commented, after he was gone. Not gone, because Cady knew he’d be hanging around somewhere nearby, but out of sight now.
“I’m not sure nice is the right word for him.” Cady hadn’t been sure if Penny recognized him from Inferno or not, and she couldn’t remember how much she’d told her about him before. It was Kelli who’d gotten an earful about her sexy neighbor and his tattoos. What could she say now? “He sort of blew me off the other day.”
“Really? He seemed friendly enough to me. Maybe a little awkward, but he had nice eyes. Oh, is that the guy you went home with the other night? The one with the sexy tattoos?”
“I didn’t go home with him like that, I was helping him out. And what do you know about his tattoos?”
“Kelli said something about you stripping him to get a look at his sexy tattoos.”
Trust that to be the only thing Kelli took out of the conversation. “I did not strip him down just to get a look at his tattoos, you could see some of them for yourself.” They’d been visible down one arm and peeking from the neckline of his shirt as he’d walked away.
“I didn’t notice any tattoos.”
“How could you not have noticed them? You were standing right there. The one that goes down his arm is pretty noticeable.”
“I’m just saying, I didn’t see any tattoos,” Penny shrugged. “I get it now though, why you’re obsessed with your dream man.”
The whole business with the tattoos didn’t make sense to Cady. She could have sworn he didn’t have them when she first met him, but now she could see them and Penny either couldn’t, or had turned into the most unobservant person in the world.
“What?” Drawn from her reverie, Cady struggled
to recall Penny’s last words in an order that made sense. “Wait, what does this have to do with my dreams?”
“I can’t believe you don’t see it,” Penny shook her head sadly. “You’re hung up on that David guy. He’s the one you should go after.”
“What? That’s crazy, I hardly know him,” Cady scoffed, even as her eyes tried to pick him out on the street.
“Oh please, I could tell by the way you looked at him.”
“He doesn’t want me, he made that perfectly clear.”
“And that bothers you.”
“So? Of course it bothers me, the guy was a total jerk about it.”
“It bothers you because you like him.”
“This isn’t high school, Penny. It doesn’t matter if I like him, I can’t make him like me back.”
“I think he already likes you back.”
Her eyes found him then, catching his gaze briefly before he looked away, pretending to study the menu taped to the window down the street. “Then he has a shitty way of showing it.”