“Huh?” I took the paper from him.
His eyes locked with mine. Slowly his tongue reached out to lick his lips, and then his eyes did that thing again where I could have sworn they changed colors. And then he just stared . . . making me feel really, really awkward.
“Hey.” I patted his shoulder. “You okay? Do you need to sit?”
“SIT?” he roared. “Oh, hell, no. Take your shit. I need to go for a walk.”
Unfortunately the direction in which he turned was wrong, landing his face directly on one of the poles that were holding up our hut. Swearing violently, he staggered out onto the sand, yelling obscenities about grandmothers and gummy bears ruining his manhood.
Huh.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MAX
I woke up feeling quite . . . pumped. HA, see what I did there? See, I was pumped because of . . . never mind.
Becca, Becca, Bo, Becca, Me, My, Mo, Mecca, Becca! I never backed down from a challenge, and Becca? She was a challenge, a puzzle I could focus my efforts on so I could ignore the drama of the dating show and the sinking feeling that kept inconveniently popping up in my heart and head telling me that I really needed to get my life together.
A knock sounded at my hut, and then the door burst open. Reid came flying in, his cheek swollen.
“Aw, man, did Milo’s grandma find you again? Even here?” I jolted off the bed. “No worries, we’ll go into witness protection. You, me, Little G, Edward . . .”
“Who the hell is Little G?” Reid roared. “And no! It’s not Grandma, I mean, technically it’s Grandma, but man, I think it’s me. I just . . . repel the opposite sex now.”
I grinned, satisfied that his game was finally off. “You don’t say?”
“Stop smiling.”
“I can’t help that I’m a morning person.” I yawned and then went over to the coffee maker. “Now, sit down and tell Brother dearest all your problems.”
“I think . . .” Reid’s hands shook as he paced my floor. “I think . . .”
“Shh, shh.” I nodded. “Slow down. Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Grandma.” Reid blurted the word. “She made me do things.”
“Yes.” I nodded. “She did.”
“I thought I was over it, but . . .” Reid shook his head; his bottom lip trembled. “Man, at night, I still see her, I still smell the Bengay. I think the scent is the worst. It’s like no matter how many times I shower, I’m still . . . minty.”
“Bro . . .”
Reid finally sat on the bed and hung his head. “I hit on a girl and got rejected.”
“Which one? Grumpy? Amazon? Sneezy? Ugh, I hate Sneezy. Swear she wears cat hair somewhere on her body, making my eyes itch like a bitch. Hey, that rhymed!” I took a sip of coffee. “So?”
“Becca.”
And coffee spewed out of my mouth.
“You hit on my best friend?”
“What?” Reid shook his head. “Um, you’ve been here two days. You need at least two years to solidify the best-friend spot.”
“She’s also my partner for the zombie apocalypse.”
“Hey, man . . .” Reid looked hurt. “I thought I was your partner.”
“Cocaptain.” I nodded. “Big difference. Plus she’s a chick, we can’t have her driving the spaceship, I mean come on.”
Reid laughed. “Right? Women spaceship drivers.”
We both contemplated that absurdity in silence.
“So it’s not Grandma.” I sighed and then set down my coffee to stretch. “It’s me.”
“Huh?” Reid blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Mighty Max gave a show last night.”
“The mouse?”
“No, not the—” I groaned. “Reid, focus!” I clapped in front of his face. “I swam naked, I was like a freaking mermaid and Becca—she saw it all. And I do mean all.” I winked. “Let’s just say it was a really good day to be naked.”
“So . . .” Reid still wasn’t getting it. Clearly.
“She saw me. Once a girl goes Max she never goes back. We know this. We both know this.”
“Ah.” Reid snapped his fingers. “So you’re under the deluded impression that because she saw your penis—who by the way you’ve named after a tiny mouse—she’s spoiled for all other men?”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, Reid. There isn’t any other explanation.”
“Maybe I was off my game,” he offered. “Bad lighting or . . . something.”
“Really? Bad lighting?” I laughed. “Please, she wants me, not you.”
“Hmm.” Reid stood. “You’re that confident?”
“Bro, you’ve seen it, you tell me.”
“Please don’t pull down your pants.” Reid held up his hand. “But I see a bet in our foreseeable future . . . I mean, if you’re so confident, you won’t mind that I hit on her? See if I can’t be a best friend too?”
“Spot’s taken, asshole! We’re full up here!”
Reid grinned. “What? Don’t like competition?”
“Um, no, I just don’t like Reids,” I said truthfully. “You cheat, you do the eyes.”
“Do not.”
“Do it.”
“Max—”
“The eyes. Let’s have them.”
Reid did the eyes. The ones that made women swoon and the elderly offer sexual favors, though Reid wasn’t really a fan of the second one.
“If you weren’t my brother—”
“Max!” Reid stopped doing the eyes and gave an evil smirk. “It’s on. I’m doing it, if only to humble you.”
“You will do no such thing!” I yelled. “And if you do, I’ll . . . I’ll . . .”
“Aw,” Reid taunted. “Such a smooth talker. Tell me, do you stutter with Becca too?”
“It’s my dating show!”
“For money!” Reid countered. “And it’s only a few weeks! Besides, they don’t have to fall in love with you to win.”
“You’re on the crew!”
“Exactly.” Reid’s eyes gleamed. “So while you’re stuck in your hut at bedtime, or dating other women, it frees me up to do exactly what you lack the balls to do.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Get the girl.” Reid stretched. “Good talk, Brother. Good talk!”
“You don’t want to do this,” I seethed. “You really don’t want me to bring out the big guns . . .”
“I think”—Reid reached the door and turned—“you’re full of shit. Oh, and by the way, your confessional’s in a few minutes. Better head over there while I go fetch Becca.”
“Bastard!”
“Thank you!”
“So,” Rex asked from behind the camera. “Why don’t you tell us a bit about your experience here on Max Island?” He held up fake quotation marks.
“Um, did we change the name?”
“Has a ring to it!” Rex laughed, then sobered. “But seriously, tell the viewers what you’re feeling right now.”
Stifling a groan, I looked directly into the camera and said, “Hungry. I’m feeling hungry because they make us hunt for our own food, oh, and P.S.: I found a snake in my pants last night . . . folks, maybe censor this little tidbit right now. It nearly bit me in the balls. I hate nature. And a goat, a freaking goat, which I’m still convinced was placed there by some sort of lunatic masquerading as an Oompa Loompa”—I paused and shot a grin to Rex—“Chased me into the ocean, where I was then strangled by seaweed. Oh, and, um . . . I swam naked last night. Yup, I think, I think that’s it.”
“Er . . .” Rex’s mouth dropped open.
“Oh!” I surged forward and looked directly into the camera. “I also kissed one of the contestants last night.”
“Well!” Rex looked relieved. “Who?”
“Oh, I can’t tell.” I put my right hand across my heart. “I signed this weird document about the show not being liable if I get any of the contestants pregnant. Seems there’s been problems with that in the past. Hey, I wonder if
that’s why that one guy jumped out of the plane? Spoiler alert! Bitch pushed him!” I slapped my knee and wiped a tear. “At any rate, it was an epic kiss.”
Rex’s smile was tight. “Are you looking forward to the date this evening?”
“That depends, Rex. Will there be goats? Snakes? Games? If you say yes to any of those things, then I can say with absolute certainty that I should have joined the army when I was eighteen to prevent this future from taking place. Damn you, Doc! Where’s your shiny DeLorean now? Hmm?”
“All right,” Rex nearly shouted. “Good interview, we’ll, uh, talk again tomorrow.”
“Nice.” I saluted the crew, and threw off the microphone so I could go for a quick swim before the first game.
I had a sneaking suspicion it wouldn’t be anything like chess or water polo.
Hell, no. It was going to be a Hunger Games scenario.
And I had a sinking feeling I was Peeta. Just waiting for someone to kill me while I hid in a lame rock costume.
Aw, pipe dream. Should have brought some badass paint so I could blend in with nature.
“Max!” Doc—the girl, not Christopher Lloyd—came surging toward me. See, and this is why I nicknamed people. She was in a white cover-up that seriously looked like a lab coat. “Let’s go for a swim!”
“Yay!” I did a fake fist pump. “Let’s . . . yes, let’s do that.” I turned just in time to see Reid escort Becca to the confessional. Damn him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
BECCA
“Here, allow me.” Reid reached behind my tank top and pulled the microphone up my shirt, his hands grazing the outside of my bikini top.
“Thanks.” I jerked away from him, my gaze narrowing in on his smirk. Oh, he was good. He knew exactly what he was doing.
“Anything else you need?” He leaned over. I was going to get the eyes again, in three, two, one, bingo. This time I stared, basked, waited. Reid stared and when I did nothing for another few awkward seconds he pulled back and walked off.
“So . . .” A sweaty Rex stood behind the camera. “Tell us about your experience here, Becca. It probably hasn’t been easy, leaving your job in hopes to win enough money to finish school.”
Reid froze behind Rex, his face hinting that he was a bit concerned about what Rex had just divulged.
“Oh, that.” I waved him off. “I made a deal with my parents. They pay for two years I pay for two years. So I thought, why not try to win the money? I’m pretty competitive and I can be sneaky when I want to be.”
“So was it you?” Rex asked.
“Was what me?” I looked nervously around the crew.
“The kiss with Max last night, was it you?”
“Um.” I chewed my lower lip. Reid made a cutting motion with his hand. Did that mean I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about the kiss? “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was . . . exhausted after last night’s win.”
“Ah, last night’s win. Just how confident are you that Max will chose you over Gina? She’s a lovely girl.” The camera panned away from me to the girls on the beach. Gina looked like she was trying to fish with her bare hands, either that or she was really, really aggressive when it came to hunting for seashells.
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “A regular gem.”
“All right,” Rex waved at the camera. “That’s enough, let’s get the remaining girls taken care of and then set up the game. You may go, Becca.”
Huh, that was fast. Reid walked up to me, but I’d already started pulling the microphone off. No way was the guy going to put his hands down my shirt for the second time that morning.
When I handed him the microphone, he chuckled. “Didn’t want any help?”
“No, not your kind of help at least.” I stepped back, keeping my eyes trained on Reid just in case he decided to make a sudden movement. The back of my foot hit something hard and then I was airborne, flying backward, ready to hit the hard sand.
“Whoa there!” Reid yelled, his arms wrapping around my waist as he pulled me down onto the sand. I fell on top of him like a turtle unable to get off its shell.
“Hey, good catch!” Max ran up next to us. “Shocking, since he used to get picked last for little league.”
“Did not!” Reid said from underneath me.
“Don’t lie, Reid.” Max laughed and offered me his hand, helping me to my feet. “Fun fact, Reid was so dedicated to the sport he slept with his helmet on. When Mom told him to take it off he cried. Poor thing.”
“Max—”
“Also, he can’t hit a ball to save his life. I’m a firm believer that men should be talented in all areas of ball handling . . . aren’t you, Reid?”
“Don’t you have a shark to feed?” Reid asked from behind me.
“Why?” Max’s eyes narrowed. “You offering to sacrifice your body?”
“Only if I was saving Becca!” Reid argued. “Hell, yeah, I’d sacrifice my body for her!”
With a gleam in his eye Max pushed Reid back to the ground and then tilted his head. “Sorry, I was just checking to make sure you weren’t a liar. Look, Becca, he fell for you!”
Reid glared from his position on the ground while I rolled my eyes and tried to walk away from all the testosterone. The air reeked of “My horse is bigger than your horse.” Or in Reid and Max’s case, “My ball is bigger than yours.”
A loud horn sounded on the beach.
Oh, no. Either there was a hurricane coming or they were prepping us for the next game.
“Contestants! Gather round!” Rex shouted. The poor guy was still sweating buckets, the man needed to wear something other than linen pants.
A few of the camera crews put down their equipment. Reid hurried off to his crew and started filming; the other two crews were already in front of Rex.
“The game you’ll be playing is for a sunrise breakfast with our Bachelor.”
“Sunrise?” Max raised his hand. “As in, when the sun rises over the earth?”
Reid chuckled to himself. “Sorry, boss, telling time isn’t his thing. Max, remember, it’s when the big hand goes—” Max smacked Reid in the stomach and took his position with the rest of the contestants.
“The sunrise breakfast will include local foods as well as a morning boat ride.”
That actually sounded really fun. I could be a morning person for some good food and a boat ride.
Throw Max in the mix and . . . yeah, well, it would be nice.
Rex held up his hands. “Contestants, follow me!”
We all walked toward the far end of the beach, where a giant game board was set up on the sand. There were dots of every color—and that’s when it hit me, they wanted us to play Twister? Really?
“A giant game of Twister,” Rex announced. “Sounds easy enough, right?”
We all nodded and shrugged in unison.
“Wrong!” Rex pointed and laughed. Was it wrong that I had this really strong urge to grab his finger and break it in half? Wow, island life was turning me violent. What was wrong with me? I was the kind of girl who felt guilty when she stepped on a spider!
“This game of Twister has two parts. For the first part, the women will be blindfolded while the Bachelor moves you around himself. When only five of you are left standing, the Bachelor will join the game and play right along with you. The winner takes all!”
Rex cleared his throat. “Max will spin the wheel and call out instructions, and once he joins the game I’ll take over. The eliminated girls will also help us referee the game to make sure no cheating occurs.”
Max raised his hand.
Rex did his best to ignore him.
But it’s kind of hard to ignore someone who starts whistling and then jumping up and down.
“Max?” Rex sighed. “Yes, what is it?”
“If I win, does that mean I go on a date with myself?”
I could have sworn I saw a blood vessel swell and then pop on Rex’s forehead as he answered. “No, Max. The final lady will go on t
he breakfast outing with you in the morning, but if you win you get to pick who you go to breakfast with.”
“Gotcha.” Max nodded seriously, then winked at me. His winks were too sexy, just like the rest of him. Thankfully he had the mouth of an absolute lunatic so it was easy for all the charm and sexiness to fall into the cracks. Imagine if Max were actually not trying to act like the world was one giant joke?
Yeah, he’d probably be king of the universe.
Women would sob in his presence.
And I wouldn’t be able to walk away—maybe it was for the best that he had such a crazy sense of humor. That way I was safe. I could handle his sense of humor because he came across as a harmless flirt.
Right?
“Contestants!” Rex shouted. “Find a dot and stand on it!”
I quickly moved to a red dot and waited for instructions as Reid came up behind me and wrapped a blindfold around my face. “Kinky, huh?”
“Say that again while you’re facing me and we’ll see just how kinky,” I muttered.
“I think I’ll keep my balls, but thanks for the offer.” Reid playfully shoved me before I could react and walked away laughing. Damn men!
“All right, Max,” Rex called. “Make your first move.”
And just like that the game started.
I was one of the last to be moved.
I couldn’t see any of the other girls or where they were so it was all up to Max to keep me stable so I didn’t fall on my ass and lose the game for both of us. I mean, did he really want to go on a morning boat ride with any of those women? And when had I turned into his protector? Since when did it make my chest hurt to imagine him drinking mimosas and watching the sunrise with anyone but me?
“Ready?” Max whispered in my ear. I shivered and gave him a firm nod.
His hands moved to my hips, resting there as if he had all the time in the world. After a few seconds he slid his hands up and then down again. What? What was he doing?
“Right hand,” Max said in a commanding voice.
I shot out my right hand and shivered again as he slowly grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear again. “Bend over.”