Chapter 12
Light spilled out from the windows above the garage Monday night. Climbing out of his truck, he left his pool stick behind and headed for the stairs. As he climbed, the stairs creaked, and Sean made a mental note to check them in the morning.
“I heard you pull in,” Maureen said as she pulled open the door before he even reached the main landing.
His eyes swept across his mom, looking for any indication that something was wrong. Why else would she appear so earger to see him. Yet everything from her neat bun to her pink fuzzy slippers looked the same as usual. “Are you okay?” he asked as he walked inside.
Maureen’s eyes danced with joy, and his initial unease faded away.
“I have some wonderful news.” Maureen perched herself on the edge of her sofa.
“Charlie’s pregnant?” Aside from becoming a grandmother, he couldn’t imagine what else would make her so happy.
“No. At least I don’t think so. Did she say something to you?” she asked her eyebrows coming together.
“Not me.” Sean dropped into the arm chair. “It’s been at least two weeks since we talked. I was just guessing.” The last time he and Charlie spoke, they’d discussed the reappearance of their father. So if Charlie wasn’t pregnant what other news could excite his mother like this?
“Oh. Well, hopefully that will happen soon, too.” Maureen waved a hand in the air. “But this is almost as exciting. Sean, Ray asked me to marry him.” A voice too young and giddy to belong to his mother reached his ears.
“And I said yes.” The breathless carefree voice sang out again.
Goosebumps formed on his arm despite the warm temperature. “Ray who?”
“Ray Larson. How many other Rays do we know?” His mother’s face glowed as she answered.
His father’s words three weeks earlier repeated in his head. “You see him once a week for card games. How does that add up to marriage?” Okay, maybe they’d gone out a few times, too. He really didn’t know, he never considered his mother’s social life his responsibility.
Pink crept up his mom’s checks, and she looked down for a moment. “That’s not entirely true. We’ve been spending a lot of time together again.” The giddiness in her voice disappeared and she sounded more like his mom again.
His brain locked on the word again and icy fingers wrapped around his heart and squeezed. “What do you mean again, Ma?”
The pink in her cheeks changed to bright scarlet. “Ray and I dated in high school. He graduated the year before me and when he went to college we broke up.”
Pain shot up his jaw and into his temple.
“Right after I graduated high school I married your father, and Ray moved out to Seattle after college.”
A throbbing began at the base of his skull. Although Ray had only moved back to North Salem a few years ago, he’d visited several times a year before that since most of his family lived in town.
“We reconnected again when we started playing cards last year.” His mom looked down at her hands.
“The bastard was telling the truth,” Sean whispered. He had no evidence, but his gut told him what his father said about Ma and Ray was true.
“What did you say?” Maureen asked with an audible note of concern.
The pain in his head increased. Like snippets from a movie, memories passed through his mind. The fishing trip he’d gone on with his father, and the fights that became commonplace after their return. Sure his parents had argued before that, but not like after the fishing trip. They’d been different, more intense and so much more frequent.
“Christ, Dad didn’t lie. You did cheat on him with Ray.” This time Sean didn’t keep his voice lowered.
All the color drained from his mother’s face. “You spoke with your father? When?” Her voice cracked and guilt flickered for a moment in his chest.
Then his father’s words rushed forward again. “Three weeks ago. We met in Boston.” His anger threatened to choke him. He’d given up so much when his father split, the whole time believing his mother was the victim of his dad’s callous behavior, only now to find out she’d set it in motion and turned his life upside down. “He explained everything. It’s your fault he walked out on us.”
“I doubt he told you everything, Sean.” Tears glistened in her eyes as she spoke. Normally such a sight would pull at his heart, tonight it did nothing.
“He told me enough. He only left after you and Ray hooked up. If you hadn’t done that he wouldn’t have left, and I wouldn’t still be stuck here!” He all but shouted the last of his sentence as he stood.
From the sofa his mother stared wide-eyed at him. He’d never in his life raised his voice to her.
“Sean, please let me give you my side of the story. Then maybe you’ll understand.” Tears slipped down her face. “I started dating your father at the beginning of our senior year. Ray and I had broken up around the 4th of July, right before he went off to college.” She wiped a tear away and the diamond on her left hand caught the light.
“The first several months together were wonderful. He was always thoughtful. He acted the perfect gentleman. My parents loved him. But after a while he changed and that April right before Easter we broke up. We probably never would’ve gotten back together if I hadn’t found out in May that I was two months pregnant. No one took the news well, including your father. Our parents insisted we marry right after graduation, so we did. Our graduation was on a Friday night, and the following weekend we got married. Then we moved into a tiny two bedroom apartment in one of those old apartment buildings they tore down after the hurricane.”
The buffalo wings he ate at the bar rolled in his stomach. How could everything he’d ever believed have been a lie?
“From the beginning our marriage was rocky, but we tried to make it work. Or at least I did. Your father started drinking heavily not long after you were born. I don’t know if it was the stress of supporting a family while in college or what. By the time you turned four he was coming home a couple of nights a week drunk. After your grandfather died, we moved in here with my mom. I thought that would help ease some of his stress.”
Other memories, ones he hadn’t thought about in years surfaced. Many times he’d come downstairs on a Saturday morning to watch television only to find his father asleep on the couch, dressed in the clothes he’d left in the day before. The trash can over flowing with empty beer cans when he dragged it to the curb on Thursday mornings.
“When I got pregnant with Charlie, I thought it would help our relationship, but the longer we were married the more he controlled my life. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without his permission. That fishing trip you two went on was the first time he left me home alone for even a night.”
Sean laughed. “And you just had to sleep with the first guy that came around,” he said, his voice cold.
Red spread across his mother’s face. “What I did was wrong, but you father was no saint. Maybe you didn’t hear them, but there were always rumors flying around about his affairs.”
Sean ignored her comment about his father’s affairs. If they’d bothered her that much, she could have asked for a divorce. “I gave up everything and stayed here to help you, Ma, but all along it was your fault he left.”
“Sean, I know how much you sacrificed. And—”
“No, Ma, you don’t. I gave up a full scholarship to play football at the University of Florida.” If only time could be turned back. “Instead of working my ass off and taking night classes I could have gone to college debt-free.” The woman before him was suddenly a stranger. How could he have missed so much of the truth?
“And what about Charlie, Ma?” After the divorce she’d changed, too. “She was devastated when Dad left. She shut people out for years because of it.”
More tears welled up in his mother’s eyes. “All I can say is, I’m sorry.”
“It’s a little late.” Sean stalked across the room. He needed to get away from her before he said something he
would regret later. “Congratulations. I’m sure you and Ray will be happy,” he added sarcastically as he yanked open the door.
“Please, Sean wait.” Maureen’s voice came out as a desperate plea.
“Not now, Ma.” The door slammed closed behind him.