Lady Brice shook her head. “That’s rather unfair to Erik. He has a family, a job. He didn’t sign up to possibly be stuck at the palace for the next five years. What if he wants to find a partner of his own?”
I wanted to shoot back that she was wrong . . . but I couldn’t. Erik didn’t know how long the Selection would last when he agreed to come, but he certainly didn’t go into this thinking he’d live at the palace until his charge was fluent in English. And it would be unkind to ask him to do just that.
“He’d stay. I know it,” was all I said.
There was a silence after that, like Lady Brice knew I was in the wrong and was debating calling me on it. Instead she sighed.
“Who’s left? Ean?” she asked.
“Ean’s a little trickier, but trust me, he’s important.”
Neena squinted. “So then . . . they’re all front-runners?”
I sighed. “I guess so. I’m not sure if that means I chose well or chose poorly.”
Lady Brice laughed. “You chose well. Really. I may not understand Ean’s appeal or how you’d make things work with Henri, but they all have their merits. I think what we need to do at this point is step up their training, really start grooming them for the throne. That will help elevate some of them, I’m sure.”
“Grooming? That sounds creepy.”
“I don’t mean it like that. I’m simply saying—”
Lady Brice’s next words were lost because, without any warning, Grandma flung the door open.
“You really need to ask permission first,” a guard warned her in a hushed tone.
She kept walking toward me. “Well, my girl, it’s time for me to head out.”
“So soon?” I asked, embracing her.
“I can never stay too long. Your mother is recovering from a heart attack, and she still has the audacity to order me around. I know she’s the queen,” she conceded, raising her hands in the air in surrender, “but I’m her mother, and that trumps queen any day.”
I laughed. “I’ll remember that for down the road.”
“You do that,” she said, rubbing my cheek. “And if you don’t mind, get yourself a husband as soon as you can. I’m not getting any younger, and I’d like to see at least one great-grandchild before I’m dead.” She stared at my stomach and shook her finger. “Don’t let me down.”
“Ooooookay, Grandma. We have to get back to work here, so you head on home and make sure to call when you get there.”
“Will do, honey. Will do.”
I stood in silence, basking in the insanity that was my grandmother.
Neena leaned over. “Now, which of your top five do you think would be the most eager baby maker? Should we put that on a checklist?”
Even my most violent glare did nothing to diminish her giddiness. “Don’t forget, I can call in a firing squad at any moment if I like.”
“You can call that firing squad whenever you want, but I’ve got Grandma on my side, so I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
I slumped, letting the silliness of it all settle in. “Sadly, Neena, I think you’re right.”
“Don’t feel too bad. She means well at the heart of it all.”
“I’ll try and remember that. So are we okay for now? I need to go learn some Finnish.”
“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” I said, bursting into the library. The boys cheered at my entrance, and I scurried over to an open seat at a table with Henri, Hale, and Ean. “Duty called.”
Erik chuckled, placing a small packet of papers in front of me. “You’re excused. Don’t worry. We haven’t gotten too far. Look over the first page, and Henri will help you with pronunciations while I check how everyone else is doing. Then we’ll move on.”
“Okay.” I picked up the paper—a copy made of Erik’s handwritten notes with hand-drawn pictures in the margin—and smiled. First task of the day was learning to count to twelve, so we could tell time. Staring at this simple lesson made me instantly embarrassed. All I could think of was that it seemed there weren’t enough vowels in the words, and the ones that bothered to show up were all in the wrong places. “All right,” I said, looking at the first word: yksi.
“Yucksey?”
Henri giggled and shook his head. “Is said yoo-ksi.”
“Yooksi?”
“Yes! Go, go,” he encouraged, and though I couldn’t be anything close to perfect, it was still nice having my own personal cheerleader. “Is said kahk-si.”
“Kahk-si . . . kaksi.”
“Good, good. Now, is kolme.”
“Coolmay,” I tried.
“Ehhh,” he said, still trying to be positive. “Kohl-may.”
I tried again, but I could see I was getting it wrong. I was being foiled by the number three. Ever the gentleman, he leaned in, preparing to take as much time as I needed.
“Is said oh. Kohl-may.”
“Ooh. Ooh,” I tried.
He lifted his hand and gently put his fingers on my cheeks, trying to change the shape of my mouth, and it tickled. I broke into a smile, unable to even make the sound he was going for in the first place. But he held my face all the same. After a moment, the humor left his eyes, and I recognized the look in them. I’d seen it before, in the kitchen, when he’d turned his shirt into an apron for me.
It was such a captivating stare, I completely forgot there were other people in the room.
Until Erik dropped a book on the other desk. “Excellent,” he said, and I pulled away from Henri as quickly as I could, praying that no one had noticed what had nearly just happened.
“It looks like you’re all doing well with the numbers, so we’re going to start using them in sentences. If you’ll look up at the board here, I’ve got a written example; but as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, the pronunciation is a bit tricky.”
The boys laughed, seeming to have struggled with the numbers as much as I had . . . and also seeming to have been too engrossed to have noted my almost kiss. I focused my gaze on the board, trying to take in the phonetics of the words in front of me instead of focusing on how close Henri was sitting.
CHAPTER 12
THE FIRST FREE MOMENT I had that day was lunch, and I knew I needed to use the time to focus on damage control. While everyone headed off to the dining room after our Finnish lesson, I went back to my office and pulled Marid’s card from my desk drawer. It was clearly made from expensive paper. I wondered what his family was doing now to afford that. They must have done well for themselves, wherever their path had taken them.
I dialed the number, kind of hoping he wouldn’t pick up.
“Hello?”
“Yes, um, Marid?”
“Eadlyn, is that you?”
“Yes.” I fidgeted, straightening out my clothes, even though he couldn’t see me. “Is this an okay time?”
“Absolutely. How can I help you, Your Highness?”
“I just wanted to say, I saw some speculation about our relationship in the press the other day.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry about that. You know how they can take a thing out of context.”
“I do,” I nearly exclaimed. “And really, I wanted to apologize to you. I know what an upheaval it can be when someone’s life is caught up in mine, and I’m sorry you’ve been going through that.”
“Eh, let ’em talk,” he replied with a laugh. “Really, no apology necessary. But while I’ve got you, I wanted to run an idea past you.”
“Sure.”
“I know you’ve been worried about the post-caste violence, and I thought it might be good for you to have something like a town hall session.”
“What do you mean?”
“You could choose a handful of people from various backgrounds to come to the palace and sit down with you personally. It would be a unique opportunity to hear from your people, and if you invited the press, it might also be a rather spectacular opportunity to show how well the palace listens to its people.”
I was stunned. “Actually, that’s a w
onderful idea.”
“If you want, I can take care of most of the arrangements for you. I have a few links with some families that used to be Eights, as well as some that have had a hard time letting go of their Two status. Maybe we could plan on inviting a dozen or so people, so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed?”
“Marid, that sounds perfect. I’m going to have my lady-in-waiting call you. Her name is Neena Hallensway, and she’s as organized as you seem to be. She knows my schedule and would be the best person to talk to about a time and date.”
“Excellent. I’ll wait to hear from her.”
There was a long silence, and I wasn’t quite sure how to break away.
“Thank you,” I tried. “Now more than ever, I really need to prove how much I care about my people. I want them to know that, in a few years, I’ll be as able to lead them as my father.”
“How anyone could doubt that is a mystery to me.”
I smiled, thrilled to have added another ally to my arsenal. “Sorry to rush off, but I must be going.”
“Not at all. We’ll talk again soon.”
“Of course. Good-bye.”
“Good-bye.”
I hung up the phone and sighed in relief. That wasn’t as awkward as I’d been fearing it would be. Marid’s words rang in my ears. Let ’em talk. I knew they always would. Hopefully soon, they’d have something positive to say.
CHAPTER 13
“WAIT, WHICH WAY DO THESE guys move again?” Hale asked before reaching over and picking up two petits fours and setting them on his plate.
“Bishops move diagonally. I wouldn’t do that if I was you, but it’s your funeral.”
He laughed. “Okay. What about the little castle ones?”
“Straight lines, either side to side or back and forth.”
He moved his rook, taking another one of my pawns. “Honestly, I never would have pegged you for a chess girl.”
“I’m not really. Ahren used to be obsessed, and he forced me to play with him every single day for months. But then he got serious about Camille, and all his chess time turned into letter-writing time.”
I moved my bishop and took his knight.
“Ugh, I didn’t even see that,” he lamented between bites. “I’ve been wanting to ask you about Ahren, but I wasn’t sure if you were up for it.”
I shrugged, prepared to dismiss the invitation, but instead I reminded myself that if I was going to have a shot at happiness at all, I had to let someone past my walls. Sighing, I told the truth.
“I miss him. It’s like I grew up with a built-in best friend, and now he’s gone. I have other people I’m close to, like my lady-in-waiting, Neena. I don’t think I realized how much I was relying on her until Ahren was gone and I could see it. But it makes me afraid. What if I get to the point I did with Ahren, where she’s the person I go to with everything, and then something happens and she leaves?”
Hale nodded as he listened, and I could see he was trying to suppress a smile.
“This isn’t funny!” I complained, chucking one of his lost pawns at him.
He laughed out loud, dodging the throw. “No, I’m not smiling because of that. It’s just . . . the last time we talked like this you ran. You’re not wearing sneakers under that gown, are you?”
“Not at all. They wouldn’t go together,” I teased. “No, really, I should have trusted you then, and I do trust you now. Sorry if I’m slow. Opening up to people is not a skill of mine.”
“No rush. I’m a pretty patient person.”
I couldn’t take the eye contact anymore, so I focused on the board, watching his hands hover above the grid.
“As for how you feel about Neena,” Hale went on, “even if she did have to leave, that wouldn’t make her less of a friend any more than it makes Ahren less of your brother. You might have to work harder to keep in touch, but if you love them as much as you say, it’ll be worth it.”
“I know that’s true,” I admitted. “It’s already pretty difficult for me to make friends, seeing as I don’t get out much. So I kind of need to keep the ones I have.”
Hale chuckled, and I missed what he did on the board. “Well, I just want to go on record and say that even if you don’t choose me, you have my friendship for life, and I’ll be on a plane to Angeles in a heartbeat if you ever need me.”
I smiled. “Something every day.”
He nodded. “Every day.”
“I really needed to hear that. Thank you.” I sat up taller and began to plan my next move. “What about you? Who’s your best friend?”
“Actually, I was interrogated over this a few weeks ago, just after Burke left. My best friend is a girl, and they thought I was writing to ‘my girlfriend back home.’ Let me tell you, it was humiliating to ask her to get on the phone with a guard and explain that we’d never, ever been romantically involved.”
I bit my lip, glad he could see the humor in it. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine. Carrie got a kick out of it, actually.”
“Well, I’m happy she took it in stride.” I cleared my throat. “But now I have to ask, have you really never had a crush on her?”
“No!” He almost shuddered. “Carrie’s like a sister to me. The thought of kissing her just feels wrong.”
I put my hands up in front of me, startled by how offended he was. “Okay. I don’t have to worry about Carrie. Got it.”
“Sorry.” The disgust in his face shifted to a shy smile. “It’s just that I’ve been asked that a million times. Other friends, our parents . . . it’s like everyone has always wanted us to be together, and I don’t feel anything like that for her.”
“I get that. Sometimes it seems like everyone wants me to pick Kile just because we grew up together. Like that alone is enough to guarantee you’ll fall in love.”
“Well, the difference there is that you actually have feelings for Kile. Anyone watching could tell.” He fiddled with a discarded pawn.
I looked at my lap. “I shouldn’t have brought that up. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I think the only way to stay sane through all this is to remember that you’re the one leading this, and you’re the one who decides where we stand. The only thing any of us can do is be ourselves.”
“Where do you think you stand exactly?”
He gave me a small smile. “I don’t know. Somewhere in the middle?”
I shook my head. “You’re doing better than that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
His smile faded a little. “That’s kind of amazing, but also scary. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with winning this.”
I nodded. “Tons.”
“I guess I never really stopped to think about that. But with you really being in charge these days, it’s a little . . . overwhelming.”
I stared at him, feeling certain I had to be misunderstanding something. “You’re not trying to back out, are you?”
“No,” he said, continuing to roll the pawn in his hand. “I’m just coming face-to-face with how big this is. I’m sure your mom had moments like this, too.”
He was uncharacteristically sharp, and this seemed to run deeper than his frustration about Carrie. As I continued, trying to keep my tone even, he avoided my eyes.
“Did I miss something? You’ve always been so enthusiastic, to the point that I’ve wondered about your sanity. What’s with the sudden cold feet?”
“I didn’t say I was having cold feet,” he countered. “I was simply voicing a concern. You’re constantly voicing your concerns. How is this any different?”
There was plenty of truth to that, but I had clearly hit a nerve. And after how hard I’d worked to be open with Hale, I didn’t understand why he would clam up on me. While I didn’t think he was the type to test me simply for the sake of it, I wondered if maybe he was trying to gauge my patience.
I clenched and unclenched my hands underneath the table, reminding myself that I trusted Hale. r />
“Perhaps it’s better if we change the subject,” I suggested.
“Agreed.”
But the only thing that followed was silence.
CHAPTER 14
THE PARLOR WAS PREPARED FOR our coming guests. Two rows of chairs were set up stadium style, reminding me of how the Selected used to sit for the Report. We had food and drinks around the room, a security checkpoint by the door, and cameras circulating.
Behind the production staff, the Elite sat against the wall, and they all seemed to be excited to find a part of my job they could observe. I was happy to see that Kile and Erik (though surely his actions were more for Henri’s benefit) had both brought notepads. They’d come to work.
“You look lovely,” Marid assured me, probably noting that I was pulling at my collar.
“I was trying to look businesslike without making things too formal.”
“And you succeeded. You just need to calm down. They’re not here to attack you; they’re here to talk to you. The only thing you have to do is listen.”
I nodded. “Listen. I can do that.” I took a deep breath. We’d never done anything like this before, and I was equal parts giddy and horrified. “How did you find these people? Friends of yours?”
“Not exactly. A few have called in to radio shows I’ve done before, and others were suggested by acquaintances. It’s a good mix of social and economic statuses, which should create some well-rounded discussion.”
I took this in. That’s all this was: a discussion. I would see the faces of people who actually lived in our country, hear their voices. It wasn’t a massive crowd; it was a handful.
“We’re going to make it through this, all right?” he said reassuringly.
“All right.” And I reminded myself that this was a good thing as our guests began trickling into the room.
I walked over to shake hands with a woman who looked like she’d taken more time on her hair than I had and her husband who, while handsome, could have knocked someone out with the amount of cologne he’d put on.