Before Loki spurred the horse into a full run, she untied her own sleek, black hair and let it fall across her back. Beno fidgeted in anticipation of her command. They knew each other well. In fact, Loki enjoyed wearing dark clothes that blended with the horse’s hide; it added to her sense that the two of them operated as one. Their only differences were in the color of their eyes and Loki’s fair skin.
She smiled and teased the horse by delaying her kick for another moment but her legs were stretched outward, pulling the stirrups taut, ready to strike. She wasn’t sure whether Beno responded before her boots struck his flank or after but, in an instant, they were soaring - as one - across the plateau. In moments like this, Loki forgot everything but the feel of the wind whipping her hair and revitalizing her senses.
The horse responded as though his sole purpose in life was to run and he seemed to have boundless energy. They flew across the bluff several times, causing birds and small animals to scurry out of their path. The air was so still, a brown dust cloud lingered in their wake. Loki snapped the reins slightly to the left, directing Beno toward the center of the bluff. He responded instantly and, without her prodding him, put on a burst of speed. He knew where they were headed.
The bluff, which was surrounded by forest, was oddly barren of trees on top except for one patch in the middle. There was a small grove of old pine; a couple had died and fallen. Another had been struck by lightning. At the foot of its charred stump, the main trunk had fallen and rested at an angle against a boulder. Beno raced toward it with such graceful speed, Loki had the sense that they were soaring above the ground. She heard excited murmurs from the ‘tweenlings as they raced the horse. Beno took a flying leap over the fallen trunk and as soon as he was airborne, Loki closed her eyes and had the sense of time standing still. For the slightest moment, it felt like they were suspended in time and space, not connected to anything of the earth, not feeling any sensation except weightless.
Loki enjoyed the momentary sense of freedom, perhaps a little too much. Beno’s front hooves striking the ground jolted her back to the physical world, where she realized too late that she hadn’t leaned into the jump. She was jolted backwards and nearly lost her balance. She managed to tighten her legs against his body and grab his mane just in time to prevent the fall but a jarring pain shot through her back. She let out a groan as she pulled the reins to stop the horse.
She dismounted and bent over with her hands on her knees to stretch her back. There were no other sounds except her and Beno, panting from the charge, both hearts beating from the rush.
Dance, miss. Spin wit’ us.
Loki felt the ‘tweenlings tug at her senses, prodding her in a playful way. She straightened up, twisting her back slightly to help loosen it.
Miss. Dance wit’ us.
As if he knew they would be there for some time, Beno lowered his head to nibble on some tasty plant life. Loki walked a few steps to a flat area that was free of rocks or logs that might trip her. She closed her eyes and felt the ‘tweenlings brush past and swirl around her, coyly inviting her to play.
C’mon, miss. Spin. Spin!
She smiled at their energy. She was amazed at how their message could be so urgent and fearful in one moment, yet playful and carefree in the next. Loki closed her eyes, raised her arms out to the sides, and slowly turned in place. She was aware of nothing but the feel of her body turning and the ‘tweenlings spinning around her. She picked up the pace and twirled faster.
Oiyeah! Oiyeah!!
Loki’s senses were filled with the movement. She smiled and raised her face skyward, while spinning as fast as she could. It gave her the feeling of being nothing but energy in motion. She spun until she was on the edge of losing control. With her eyes still closed, she collapsed to the ground, giggling. She opened her eyes and was dizzy from the world spinning around her. She laughed and rolled onto her back.
The ‘tweenlings continued spinning for another moment. Oiyeah!
Loki lay there for some time, enjoying the warmth of the sun, listening to the sounds of nature and her horse nibbling. After some time, she stood and the ‘tweenlings’ energy instantly changed again from playful to serious.
They need protectin’, miss. The little ones.
Loki sighed. Obviously, playtime was over. “Okay, I give. Who are the little ones?”
Suddenly, small forms flew out from the grass around her feet. They were ghost-like, just like the first two forms she saw that morning. These looked like large butterflies that fluttered erratically in the air around her. As one passed in front of her face, she noticed that its body was different from that of a butterfly. It only had two legs, instead of four, and looked like human legs. The forms dispersed in the air as quickly as they had surfaced.
“Okay. It’s time to go,” she said as she mounted Beno. Then she muttered, “I’m not even going to ask what the forces of darkness and light want with a bunch of butterflies.”
She turned Beno in a full circle and took in the scenery around her, as though she were committing it to memory. Then she pointed the horse toward the trail.
She still felt giddy from the ride across the bluff and the spinning but, as they descended, even though the fog had lifted, the giddiness was replaced with a sense of heaviness and anticipation that something else was about to change.
As she headed back home, her thoughts drifted once more to her father and how his behavior and moods were becoming more volatile. He was so easily taken over by the dark force. She knew that once she announced her decision not to become an apprentice of the darkness, he would assume it meant she chose to study under the Guardians of Light, with Tannis. Loki didn’t know what she wanted but it wasn’t either the Guardians or the Brethren.
Although, she couldn’t help but admire how Tannis wholeheartedly embraced the Guardians’ teachings. Elwyn did the same with the Brethren of Darkness. Both her siblings believed so intently in their respective paths that nothing else seemed to matter to them. Loki was almost envious of how they had such direction in life, such conviction in their views.
She acknowledged that the Guardians and the Brethren each had a place in the world, but personally she knew she couldn’t be satisfied with either order in its entirety. Both believed their views to be the ultimate way and both sought their own righteous control over the world and each other.
Loki wanted more out of life. She yearned for something other than the two extremes but what choice did that leave her? Would she live a common life among the rest of the populace, falling under the effect of both forces? The thought of that left her with an empty feeling. She didn’t know what she’d do but was certain of what she didn’t want.
Were the ‘tweenlings urging her to make a decision? She thought not but, as she was enveloped by the shadows of the woods, heaviness settled over her and the muscles in her back unconsciously tightened.
FOUR
_______________