Chapter 10: The Tantric's Cave
The next day they came to their shanty at late noon and after tea, they proceeded for the hideout behind the burnt tree trunks. Darkness was just falling and the atmosphere was filled with a fine layer of fog and it was a bit chilly.
From behind the tree trunk they watched the causeway to the temple for some time and there was no sign of anybody moving along. They came out of the hiding and proceeded carefully toward the causeway. The path was cut by footsteps in between thick velvety grasses. Small trees and bushes had grown up on both the sides and they were shaped into orderly fencing. They soon reached the spot where the path was bifurcated, the left one leading to the stairs of the temple. The temple was now clearly in sight as the sky was free from clouds. The central structure of the temple was about twelve feet high with a conical narrow turret with a trident at the top. The temple was made of unpolished pinewood logs on poles about four feet high. Wooden stairs led to a verandah about three feet wide and at the end of the verandah there was a small door which was locked now. They, however, had no interest in the temple and took to the other track that climbed a bit steeply to the right. The narrow track to the right was fenced on both sides with thorny shrubs. Doma cautioned Nil, ‘be careful about the thorns. They are very poisonous and may even cause death.’ So they moved along very cautiously. There was, however, no sign of any movement or sounds above. After some time they had to stop in front of a locked wooden gate about six feet high with sharp nails at the top. The thorny plants were taller on both sides of the gate and there was no way to cross the gate. Through the slits of the logs of the gate they had a glance of the track inside which had cut deep into the body of the hill and curved down into a narrow cave with a circular mouth about four feet in diameter. It was all dark inside and nothing beyond was visible. They guessed that the cave could be entered only by going on all fours.
Standing helplessly at the gate they could not make out what to do next. They agreed at last that the forbidden zone could not be invaded from this side and hey would have to explore an alternative approach to the cave. Now it was clear to them that the approach to the plateau must be through the cave and to reach the top of the plateau, they would have to reach the cave by some means. At many places, on the return path, the thorny bush was narrow and shorter. But if they tried to cut them off at any place here, it would for sure come to the notice of the tantric’s men or visitors of the temple. So, they had no alternative but to explore some alternative path from some other place away from the causeway to the temple.
Doma said enthusiastically, ‘I’ve marked the location of the cave and inspected all its sides. It could easily be approached from the right side. What we are to do now is to walk to the north of the hiding place and find out some suitable place to climb up to the northern side of the cave and thereafter we could easily get to the mouth of the cave.’
Nil said in a dubious tone, ‘are you sure we could reach the cave from the other side?’
‘Cheer up and have trust on me. By tomorrow, we are sure to reach the cave.’
‘But it would take time. Do you like to explore the alternative right now?’
‘I think it would be better to return to the shanty now and explore the alternative tomorrow after chalking out a new plan.’
Nil agreed with her and they returned to the shanty and Doma got busy preparing dinner.
The dinner with chowmin and chilly sauce was delicious and Nil, being very hungry, devoured it with relish. He was tired too and fell fast asleep as soon as he went to bed. Suddenly he felt something pressing him hard and streams of hot blood rushed to his head as he discovered the nude body of Doma embracing him hard, her soft boobs pressing against his chest and tongue trying to open his mouth. Her hand played down his body, unlaced the pajama and reached for the hardness, he promptly took her tongue into his mouth, moved his hand on to her butts and drew her madly toward him and his sleep broke off and he felt the coldness of the wet underwear between his legs. Nil felt ashamed of the dream which was nothing but the outburst of his repressed longings.
He started arguing out and at last came to the conviction that there was no fault in desiring Doma and he could not resist temptation to please his eyes with the view of her sleeping body. He moved close to the curtain and peeped through the raised corner. She was sleeping peacefully with her hands resting on her open boobs and the chiaroscuro, made by the scanty moon rays through the slits of the tarpaulin roof, created a mystic aura around her. Her tousled hair were spread around the pillow and with her lips half open, she looked like a voluptuous nymph. How long could he resist the temptation? It was not at all necessary to attach any importance to his promise in dream to the goddess, but he could no longer make the first move as he had dissuaded her while she was burning with passion. But if there be any more insinuating gesture on her part he would not hesitate a moment to get their mutual desire fulfilled. He would have to wait till that moment and it appeared unendurable to him. The hardness tormenting him and he had to relieve the agony by jacking off. As soon as he was relieved shame and moroseness took possession of him and he felt contrite for his erotic thoughts.
The next morning unexpected information from Doma like bolt from the blue made Nil extremely disappointed and perturbed. She took him aside after their talks about the plan of the next part of the venture, and disclosed the fact after long hesitation and blushing that she had got approval from her parents of their marriage after completion of the mission. Samten and the Lama at the village had already approved it. In fact all of them taken it for granted from the very beginning that Nil and Doma were drawn to each other and would marry in future. They had considered it to be a pious union between two divine souls. After Nil’s promise to fulfill her desire a few days ago, she needed permission from her parents and the religious chiefs. Now she had got all these and there was no obstacle on the path of their union for life after the mission.
Both of them remained silent for some time. Doma broke the silence and said enthusiastically,
‘I’ve also taken up a Hindu brata learnt from a Nepali housewife. You must know this ritual performed by betrothed Hindu maidens for the wellbeing of would be husbands and success of their marriage.’
Nil forced a smile and said, ‘yes I know the brata. A maiden undertaking this brata vows to god that she would remain pure and would not indulge in any sexual relation with the beloved until they are married. During this period she is to remove all physical desires for the beloved from her mind.’
‘Exactly and this would be very helpful for the success of our mission.’ Doma looked proud and ebullient.
Nil felt morose and abandoned. With utmost efforts he collected himself and said, ‘you have unquestionably done a judicious job with perfect foresight.’
He felt his head reeling and hollow within. He left her alone under the ruse of some important task. Doma entered her cave jubilantly and got settled to her prayer which was an important part of the brata. Nil walked to the corner of the hill. He had to be alone for some time to get accustomed to the onslaught that had just befallen him. He felt vehement turmoil within and his mind became puzzled, unable to think any further. He had given up smoking for a long time but a few packs were stored in his bag. He went to the cave and came back with a pack of cigarettes and the lighter and went on smoking one after another. All his inner cravings for transitory union with her had now been shattered. But the most serious problem was how to escape from this place after the mission. It was no longer confined between him and Doma. All the hill people had now taken it for granted that he and Doma were going to marry after the mission. How could he leave the place escaping from the notice of the hill people? The way out from the region was not easy and he would certainly be caught on the way and punished if he attempted to flee without marrying her.
Nil thought carefully about marriage and his mind revolted. He felt that he loved her spontaneously and for sure it was his first genuine love. He had
never loved Sima. It was simply affection due to familiarity from very childhood. But he loved Doma seriously and he was still deeply desirous of physical union with her. But marriage was something different. This would imply either he would have to live here with the hill people or Doma would have to relocate to Calcutta. Either of this would be disastrous for both of them and soon their love would dissipate. He could not marry Doma and nor would he be able marry any other girl and would have to remain a bachelor till his dying day with the memory of Doma. The same would be the case for Doma. Both of them would be unhappy at this but their love would remain alive and sacred. But marriage would be something horrible, making them unhappy with mutual hatred.
He now sincerely appreciated Doma for her decision to undergo the brata. Physical union without marriage would be nothing but deceiving Doma and a grave sin, generating hatred in her for him, and his lifelong prick of conscience. Momentary pleasure would for sure lead to pernicious consequences for the future. He felt now that she had saved him by taking up the brata. So now the crucial question was how to escape after completion of the mission or would it at all be possible for him to escape? Even if he abandoned the mission and tried to escape, he would be caught on the way. Escaping from this isolated hilly place without being detected was impossible. He felt it was meaningless to ponder over this tricky problem and no solution would come out by racking his brains. So it was better to surrender himself to fate and give his best possible efforts for the mission.
Nil’s father used to say that when one is in a serious dilemma and cannot make out what to do, the best alternative is to stop thinking and worrying and to surrender oneself completely to God or any deity he has faith in and divine power would resolve the problem. Being in an impasse, Nil followed his father’s advice and surrendered himself unconditionally to God and in a moment all his worries and disquiet of mind vanished. His peace of mind returned and he remembered the sloka of Gita his father used to recite and explain. It was a gospel of Lord Krishna to the Pandava warrior Arjuna. The essence of the sloka is that a person has right over his works and duties but no right or control over the outcome. So one should concentrate on his duties and perform them in the best possible manner without worrying about the results as he had neither command nor any right over the results. So Nil decided to go ahead with the noble duty, entrusted to him, in the best possible manner without the slightest deviation from it. He would now concentrate on the immediate tasks relevant to the mission, i.e. to discover the alternative path to the mouth of the cave and forget the trifles like his relation with Doma and its future. He threw away the butt of the last cigarette of the packet and returned to his cave with perfect peace and equanimity of mind. Doma was standing at the entrance of the cave and said jovially, ‘where had you been so long? I have been looking for you for a long time to show you the sketch of the plan for today’s adventure.’
‘Oh, I sat at the corner of the hill to the south and enjoying the hide and seek game of the clouds and the hills.’
‘You are a crazy boy!’ Doma said in the tone of a loving mother. ‘Anyway, it’s almost lunch time. Come right to my cave with me.’
Nil followed her calmly to her cave. She spread a sheet of paper on a raised platform of stone at the corner of the cave and highlighted the sketch depicted on it by torch light. It was a picture of the bottom of the plateau, neatly drawn in black pencil and their hideout and some other important spots marked out by red color. She pointed her right index finger to a red-marked spot to the north of their hideout and said that it could be the likely spot from where they would start climbing in quest of the alternative path to the cave-mouth. She had also sketched the expected path to the desired point of climbing, but she said that they would have to alter it according to the real situation. The spot was away from the point just below the cave and therefore they should follow a climbing path that would bend to the left so as to converge to the cave. Nil was very much impressed by the plan and was amazed at the sense of geography and geometry of the uneducated hill girl.
After discussing the plan and necessary things to be carried with them for the venture, Doma went to the small kitchen inside the cave and got busy arranging the lunch. She announced that she had a pleasant surprise for Nil who was really astounded and got immense pleasure to find the lunch menu of boiled rice, Bengali style potato curry and daal. He ate with relish as he got the savor of Bengali food after a long time. Doma was also taking the same food like one perfectly accustomed to Bengali food.
Nil asked her in a an astonished voice, ‘where have you learnt cooking Bengali dishes from?
‘Magic,’ Doma started giggling.
‘Be serious Doma. However, you have every right to keep it from me.’
‘Oh my god the little boy has turned sentimental!’ She giggled again.
‘Close to our village, there’s a Nepali settlement’ she continued, ‘and the Nepali girls likes me very much. Mina Chhetri, a Nepali housewife, who had been to Siliguri where her husband worked at a hotel, has taught me Bengali cooking. The brata, too, I’ve learnt from Mina.’
‘Have you learnt from her any Bengali words?’
‘Only a few.’
‘I like to hear them from your mouth.’
‘Okay’ she started giggling and said ‘the words I’ve learnt are: ami tomake bhalobasi (I love you).’ Doma ran away giggling.
They reached the hiding place before sunset. According to the plan they started moving rightward targeting the specific spot from where they were to start climbing. Lumps of clouds were moving incessantly across the sky. They were purely cirrus and therefore there was no possibility of rain but as they obstructed the natural light after sunset, it soon became dark. The hillside now was not as gently sloped as in the place where they had scaled up to the hiding. It was now steeper and shorn of burnt tree trunks. They had to move very carefully in the darkness watching out each step. Fortunately, there were projections from hill to catch hold of and they moved along these narrow risky path, sometimes climbing upwards and sometimes downwards. They reached the spot from where to climb as highlighted in the sketch, but the hill had an inward inclination and so it was impossible to climb upwards from this spot. They had already moved about fifty feet away from the point right beneath the cave-mouth. So any further northward movement meant moving further away from the cave. But there was no alternative. So they went on walking further to the north and found that the hill had taken a circular right turn after which the upward slope was very gentle.
It became very dark and they had to switch on the torches suspended from their necks by threads. The place was under the cover of the hill and there was no possibility of anyone seeing the torch light from above the plateau. Now the hillside was easy to climb and they went on climbing upward in the leftward direction. Soon they came upon a narrow dry water course about three feet wide. It was semi-elliptical. They reached the curve and found that the water course had cut into the body of the hill and gone upwards with gentle slope in the rightward direction. So, if they followed the water course they would move further away from the cave. But scaling upwards at this place straight or in the leftward direction was almost impossible, especially in this darkness. So they decided to follow the water course and see where it led them to.
The heights of the walls on both sides went on increasing and eventually they discovered themselves inside a tunnel, which was wider and easy to walk along. The tunnel in front had sloped steeply down and because of overhanging bushes from either wall, it was pitch dark. Nil focused the torch ahead and guessed that the tunnel had bifurcated at about ten feet from them. They agreed that if they took the leftward tunnel there would be a fair chance to get closer to the tantric’s cave. The tunnel ahead was overgrown with mosses and weeds and this indicated that it was not visited by anybody for a long time. They beat down the bushes and tore with their long sticks the creeper roofing to let moonlight in. Getting close to the bifurcation they turned left and soon ended up a
t a depressed large rectangular ground. It was like a pond about ten feet deep. Focusing his torch into the pond Nil uttered a shriek of panic and drew back. Doma snatched the torch from his shaking hand. She too got startled as soon as she glanced into the pond.. Then collecting themselves from the first shock they looked into the pond closely. It was filled with human skulls and bones. There was no way to go any further and they returned to the bifurcation. They would have to explore the rightward tunnel. They felt exhausted and decided to get back to the caves next morning and continue the venture after discussing the skull issue with Samten.