Mostly good, anyway. The only dark cloud on the horizon was in the form of Phillip Bentley. He’d seen the announcement of Kate’s birth, and had been calling the office demanding a DNA test be done. Thus far, Dan had managed to put him off, but Phillip was starting to get nasty. At least Jess didn’t know about it, and he planned on keeping it that way.
“Finished, Kate?” She was only playing with the nipple now, her eyelids drooping. “Let’s get you downstairs so we don’t disturb your mom.”
~~~~~
“Hi, sweetheart,” Dan said after her call was put through to him immediately.
“Hi, yourself,” Jess answered, her tone clipped.
“Is everything okay?”
“No.” She heard him catch his breath.
“Is Kate all right?”
“Kate’s fine.”
“Are you all right?”
“No.”
“Jess, what’s the matter?” he asked anxiously.
“I’m mad,” she said simply.
“What?”
“I said I’m mad,” she repeated, glad he couldn’t see her smiling.
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t crawl out of bed until ten minutes ago.” It was almost nine-thirty.
“Good.” Dan sounded smug, and she knew he was grinning. “I wanted you to rest.”
“And I wanted to kiss you good-bye.”
“I kissed you.” On the cheek.
“That doesn’t count.” She heard him laugh.
“I thought it did.”
“I wasn’t awake, so it didn’t. I like getting up with you, Dan,” she said softly. “When you let me sleep, it makes the day long.”
“Miss me?”
“You know I do.” More than she could say. “Please don’t do that anymore.”
“You were tired,” he explained. “You were sleeping before I even got back with the bottle.”
“All new moms are tired. So are new dads. Next time just come back to bed.”
“We’ll see.”
“Dan.”
“Jess. if you miss me that much, I’ll come home for lunch.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
“Hey. Wait a minute. Is that the only reason you called?”
“I wanted to hear your voice, too.”
“Sometimes I wonder about you,” he teased.
“But you love me anyway.”
“That I do, sweetheart, that I do.”
~~~~~
“Oh, I can’t wait for my six-week's checkup,” Jess sighed, snuggling next to Dan on the sofa. Only five more days.
“Why? You got something going with the doctor I should know about?” he asked, nuzzling her neck. For once Kate was sleeping, and not interrupting her parent’s playtime.
“Well, I guess if you don’t know, I’ll put it off for another month or so.” He growled in her ear.
“Just try it, lady, and we’ll wind up with a brother or sister for Kate in about nine and a half months. Not that I’d mind, but I know how much you enjoyed being pregnant with our daughter.”
“I’m going, I’m going.”
“Good. Because I’m not waiting a day longer than I have to. I don’t imagine there are many people who have to wait seven months before they celebrate their wedding night.” He held her close, anticipating the moment he longed for. He’d even arranged to have his folk’s watch the baby for the day.
“If you’d told me how you felt a long time ago, we wouldn’t have had to wait so long,” she told him, resting her head against his shoulder. But innocent as this past month had been, it had been wonderful.
“I wanted to, Jess. You’ll never know how much. But I didn’t know how you’d take it.”
“You must have suspected that I at least cared about you.”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” he admitted. “But I didn’t know how you felt about Frank. I suppose I still don’t.” There. He’d finally broached the subject he’d been avoiding since confessing his love. He felt Jess take a deep breath, and he held his own while he waited for her to tell him.
“A part of me will always love him, Dan,” she said gently.
“That’s not what I wanted to hear.” He pulled her closer, worried he might always, on some level, have to compete with a memory.
“You didn’t let me finish. I love you, Dan, even more than I loved Frank. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but I do.” She reached a finger between two of the buttons on his shirt and stroked his chest. “I never got the chance to know him like I know you. There wasn’t time. And, although I’ll always regret what happened, I’ll never be sorry I married you.”
“That’s good,” he said, his throat tight with an emotion he couldn’t define. “Because you’re stuck with me, Mrs. Mulholland.”
“I think I can live with that.” He kissed her hard, and then laughed.
“And to think, you almost threw it away.”
“I did, didn’t I?” She looked at him and asked, “What did you think of me when I stood there yelling at you like a nut, and then slammed the door in your face?”
“It’s hard to explain, Jess.” He really didn’t want to delve into this subject. Ever. It was in the past, and it needed to stay there.
“Try.” She waited a long time for the answer.
“You have to understand how I felt at the time,” he said slowly. “Everything had been such a shock, finding out that Bruce had turned himself in. Knowing what he’d done to you. And realizing that I’d played a small part in Frank’s murder.”
“What?” Jess pulled away, and stared at him in surprise.
“No, not like you’re thinking. I just remembered that Bruce had come to me that day, asking for money. I knew he wanted it to buy drugs, and I had refused to give it to him.”
“So?”
“So, it was just a few hours before the murder. If I’d given Bruce the cash, Frank would be alive today. That’s what I was thinking when I came to see you.”
“So you blamed yourself,” Jess said slowly, her eyes troubled.
“You’ll never know how much. I felt at least as responsible as Bruce, and I needed to make it up to you. You’d lost Frank. You were pregnant.” He glanced at her pale face. “I couldn’t believe it when you wouldn’t let me help you.”
“Um...what did you think when Mr. Bentley called?”
“That I’d been given the perfect opportunity to rectify what Bruce and I had done.” He looked surprised when she stood up and walked across the room, wringing her hands.
“So you married me because you felt guilty?”
“Partly,” he admitted reluctantly. “Jess, what’s wrong?” He felt a knot of fear in his gut.
“You thought you could take Frank’s place, didn’t you? Pick up where he left off?”
“No. Not exactly.” He knew he should have avoided this subject like the plague.
“What exactly then?”
“I don’t know, Jess.” He got to his feet, too, feeling like he was about to lose her. “I only knew you needed someone to take care of you and the baby.”
“Because you felt guilty.”
“Yes, at first. Until I fell in love with you.” He took a step toward her, stopping when she backed away. “Jess, don’t do this.”
~~~~~
“Just stay back, Dan,” she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“No. I don’t know what to say.”
“You never fell in love with me, did you?”
“I did. I do love you,” he insisted, trying to get closer. “Jess, you’re my life.”
“Because it eases the guilt you feel?”
“No. Not anymore.”
“It does. You’re giving up your life for Kate and me because you blame yourself for what happened to Frank.” She was crying openly now, her heart breaking because she’d found out the truth.
“No. Jess, would you listen?” He held out
his hand in a pleading gesture.
“Not anymore. You don’t have to do this, Dan. I don’t blame you for not giving Bruce the money. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t need your pity.”
“I don’t pity you. I love you.” The tears on his face mirrored her own, and she didn’t know what to think.
“I need some time. I’m- I’m going to take Kate to Emma’s tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving me?” he gasped, paling.
“I don’t know,” she said, running a hand through her hair. The thought of leaving him made her ill. “I have to think.”
“Can’t you do that here?”
“I-” She picked the baby up out of the bassinet and held her close. “I’m going up to my room. Please stay away.”
“Don’t do this, Jess. I don’t know what I can do to convince you, but I love you.” He sounded so anguished that Jess almost believed him, but still she edged her way toward the stairs, half afraid he might try to grab them. “Jess...”
“We’ll talk in the morning,” she murmured, hurrying to the room she hadn’t slept in for nearly two months.
She sat cross-legged on the bed for hours, crying and trying to figure out what to do. Did he want her only to ease his guilt, or did he really love her like he’d tried so hard to make her believe?
All she knew for certain was she loved him, and she didn’t know what she would do without him.
If it was pity, and she stayed, could she live with it? Knowing every day for the rest of her life that he was only trying to take Frank’s place? Could she face the alternative?
No, her heart seemed to scream. How could she bear to lose him, too? Two husbands in a year? It wasn’t fair. It was more than any person should have to suffer in a lifetime.
“What do I do, Kate?” she sobbed, missing Dan already, and trying to imagine what it would be like to never be held by him again. It was a terrible, aching feeling.
Kate only cried, demanding her bottle loud enough to be heard for miles. Wearily, warily, Jess crept out to the hall and into the nursery to change her diaper, while the hungry infant screamed so hard her face turned red.
She’d slept longer than usual and was, apparently, starving. Jess dreaded going to the room she and Dan had been sharing, for fear he might be there. A distinct possibility, as it was after one. The last thing her frayed nerves needed right now was a confrontation with him. But it looked like one was inevitable. He met her in the hall, holding a bottle of formula.
“I heard her crying,” he said quietly, handing it to Jess, who took it, doing her best not to touch the fingers wrapped around it. She saw pain reflected in his eyes.
“Thanks. I, uh, better get back to my room.”
“Jess-”
“I said we’d talk in the morning.” She rushed past him, and slammed the door, leaning against it as tears filled her eyes again.
He looked awful, much like he’d done when Bruce died. She knew he’d been crying, too, and his color was terrible. But was it because he loved her, or because he thought he was failing in the sacrifice he’d been so willing to make?
With Kate sleeping once more, Jess laid down, wishing she could turn her thoughts off. Instead, she went back over every minute of the time since she’d met Dan.
If Mr. Bentley hadn’t phoned when he had, would Dan have tried to get her to marry him? And what was the deal on the two years till the divorce? Had he intended to make it permanent from the start? She just didn’t know.
Was it possible the man was such a good actor he’d completely fooled her? Could he fake all of the tenderness and concern? Wouldn’t she know? Until this evening, she’d honestly believed he loved her. What if he did? What must he be going through? Wondering if-
A thunderous sound came from downstairs, stopping her thoughts abruptly.
A gunshot? She looked at the baby, still sleeping peacefully on the bed, and rolled off the mattress, running as fast as she could, concern for Dan putting the other thoughts out of her mind in an instant.
Breathless by the time she reached the living room, she was distraught when he wasn’t there, so she headed for the kitchen.
She found him in the dining room, looking helplessly at the hole that used to be the sliding glass door. One of the heavy wooden chairs was lying on the deck amid shattered glass.
“Dan?” He whipped his head around when he heard her, grabbing the table for support when he lost his balance. “Are you all right?”
“Whadda you care?” he asked, his words slurred.
“Are you drunk?” she asked, shocked to her core. She’d seen him have an occasional drink in the past months, but never to excess. Never. He stood up as straight as he could, and looked down his nose at her.
“I’ve...come to a de-decision,” he said forcefully, ignoring her question. “You’re not goin’ nowhere, lady. I love you, and you’re stayin’. D’ you got that?”
“Dan-”
“Oh no. Don’t Dan me.” He lifted his hand from the table to point a finger at her, only to grab at it again when he nearly fell over. “Whoops.”
“Maybe you should sit down.”
“Not until I’m fimished. Fishmished.” He looked puzzled for a moment, before blurting out, “Finished.” Then he glared at her as he continued, “I don’t know who I think you are, lady, but nobody tells me who I love, and who I don’t love. And I think I would know if I loved you or not,” he said indignantly, crossing his arms across his chest. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I suppose you would,” she said, trying to suppress a smile.
“There’s no pasose about it. I love you, and if you think you’re leavin’, think again.” He reached out and grabbed a handful of black wires from the counter, shaking them at her.
“What are those?” Jess asked, losing the battle and grinning.
“I dunno. Stuff from the cars. Try and start one without these, and see how far you get.” He seemed fairly proud of this accomplishment.
“You took those out of the cars?”
“Yup.”
“Well, do you know how to put them back?”
“Yeah, right. Do I look like a mec- A meca-” The confused expression returned. “A guy who knows how to fix cars to you?” He flopped down into one of the chairs, and admired the mess he held, muttering, “Yeah. You jus try and leave me now. Ha! I fixed ‘em good. How far does she think she’s gonna get totin’ a baby, and a crib, and the clothes? Not far, I’m tellin’ you.”
“Dan-” It was all Jess could do to not laugh out loud. If she had any doubts before, they were gone now.
“Gonna nail the doors and windows shut, too. Wadda you think ‘bout that?” Jess looked pointedly at the new hole in the wall, but only said,
“It sounds like you want me to stay.”
“You got that right, lady.” He threw the wires against the wall, and they hit with a thud.
“Hey, you’re going to wake Kate.” Dan looked at the wall, a finger to his lips and said,
“Shh.” Then he crossed his arms to glare at her some more.
“Dan, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before,” she said, going to kneel beside him. The smell of liquor nearly knocked her out. “I know you love me.”
“Darn straight I do.” His chin dropped to his chest.
“Can you forgive me for not believing you?”
But Dan only slid out of the chair like warm butter off a hot knife, landing in a heap on the floor. Assuring herself that he was still breathing, Jess sat beside him and stroked his hair.
“Poor baby. You’re going to have a bear of headache later today.”
EPILOGUE
Dan parked the car in a shaded area, and gently lifted a sleeping Kate from her car seat. Then, working the strap of the diaper bag over his shoulder, he walked toward the zoo entrance. Bentley had better be on time, because he had to pick Jess up from the doctor’s in forty-five minutes.
She’d have his head if she knew he’d agreed to this meeting, but it was
the only way he could think of to stop the threats. There was no way he was going to allow DNA testing on Kate, and he hoped to convince Bentley to leave them alone. He kissed his daughter’s soft little cheek.
“Not a chance, gorgeous. I promise.”
She slept soundly until he got to the pony ride area, the appointed meeting place. When he sat down and laid her across his legs, she woke up and watched him. Paying no mind to passersby, Dan talked softly to her, and made faces, reveling in the expressions on her miniature face.
“Mulholland?” a gruff voice said. Dan looked up to see a tall, distinguished man with silver hair. He recognized him from the courtroom.
“Bentley.” He refused to stand or shake his hand, not that one had been offered.
“So this is the brat you’re trying to pass off as my grandchild?” Dan’s jaws clenched.
“You’re the one who wants to know.”
“When is the testing scheduled?”
“It isn’t. You can either believe the truth or not. It’s up to you.”
“And I suppose you’re going to tell me the truth is that Frank fathered it?”
“Frank did father her, yes,” he said tightly. “But I am Kate’s father. Make no mistake about that.”
“I want proof,” the old man sputtered.
“Tough.”
“You think you’re smart, don’t you?”
“Smart enough to know you’ll never get your hands on my daughter.”
“So you say.”
“I do, don’t I?” He stood then, putting Kate back on his shoulder. “I know how you feel about my wife and me. You hate us both. This little one might have your son’s blood in her veins, but she’s our daughter in every way. She’s going to be raised a Mulholland. A member of my brother’s family. You can’t live with that.”
“Maybe.” Phillip was furious, but asked, “Can I hold her?”
“I suppose you could.” After a slight hesitation, Dan handed Kate to him, on guard in case he made a run for it. But Phillip only looked uncomfortable when Kate began to wail. “See? She’s already mine.” He held his arms out quickly when the other man thrust her away so fast Dan feared he’d drop her.
“It’s not enough that your brother and that little witch took my son. Now you’ve got to take the baby.”
“You’re just lucky I’ve got the baby.” Dan said harshly, wanting very much to plant his fist in the older man’s face. Phillip turned and started to walk away. “What about the DNA testing?”