always tell me that it’s not important. That I’m too young. That I wouldn’t understand. And when it’s actually about me they just kind of blow it off. I want to know what you mean.”
Her eyes went from the ceiling to me, to the door way to me. I took a deep breath and shook my head. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to tell me… Just forget I said anything.” I shrugged and stood up, I stepped past her and started up the stairs to the bedroom I was sharing with Ana.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. I wish they would tell you. I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t think it were important… Sit down…”
I turned back to the table, regarding her pretty cautiously. Maybe I didn’t want to know what she had to say. She sat back down. “So, there’s this family, the Parks. They’re Dancers too. I… Jack’s family is really close with theirs. They’re all very English. When they had a baby they’re parents thought they weren’t ready for the responsibility and forced them to put the baby up for adoption. The contract says that when the baby turns eighteen they get an explanation and a choice.”
“So I’m the baby?”
She nodded slowly. There was no way to describe what was running through my mind. Adopted? That explained why I didn’t look anything like my parents. Adopted? Was that why my father didn’t like me?
“But… I turned eighteen weeks ago. Why didn’t they explain it then?”
“I’m not sure. Which is why I don’t know… Maybe we’re wrong.” I doubted it.
♪♪♪
I walked into my house with Ana at my side. She claimed I needed to do it alone, I told her I would go insane if she weren’t there for me. So she went with me to ask my parents about me being adopted. Mom walked down the hall and smiled at me. “Oh honey, you’re finally home. Scarlett seemed like she was ready to send out a search party… Are you okay?” I shook my head. “What’s wrong?”
“I just… Can I talk to you and Dad?” She nodded hesitantly and turned to my father’s study.
“I’ll go get him and we can talk in the living room.”
I pulled Ana down next to me on the couch and she took my hand. “Whatever it is I know you’re going to be okay.” I looked down at her and attempted to smile. She kissed me for a moment and I nodded. “I love you, no matter what happens. You believe that right?”
“Of course I do.”
Her fingers twisted with mine and my parents walked into the room. They sat in separate chairs, on opposite sides of the room. How could they do that? I knew they weren’t any sort of Artist if they could just sit on opposite sides of the room and not think about it. I felt weird if I wasn’t next to Ana when we were together.
Mom looked worried, Dad was tired. “What’s going on Luke?” Dad asked and I took a deep breath.
“When I was in Kansas, Mr. and Mrs. Lovet said that they knew my parents…”
“Well, yes. You two were friends when you were little, I met them several times.”
I shook my head. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“No. I don’t think I do,” Mom said and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Jen, they know, it’s time to explain everything.” Mom shook her head. “Jen. They know! You can’t hide it anymore. We have to tell him or we disobey the contract you signed. And if we disobey the contract then they’ll sue us.”
“They wouldn’t do that.”
“If they don’t I will. It’s time to explain to him. And he’s going to tell her so you might as well just tell them both, right now. Or leave and I’ll tell them.”
Mom stood up and walked out of the room. I heard the front door slam and then her car started. Dad took a deep breath. “Okay, I guess I get to tell you by myself. It’s really a short story and your mom would drag it out. I lived in London for a year and a half next to these people who were very traditional. Their children got married very young and she got pregnant three weeks later. Your mother was told she wouldn’t be able to have any more children and she wanted a son. So when word spread that they wanted someone to adopt their baby we accepted the offer.
“They told me all about the Artists and what you would become. The first time I ever saw Anastasia dance on stage I knew that she was one too. Your mother didn’t want to hear about what you were, she just wanted the baby boy so she signed the papers and told me to deal with it. Once I tried to tell you. You were… Five.
“You were crying because you had to come home instead of over to Anastasia’s. It hurt for you two to be apart if you were together all day. I don’t mean you didn’t like it, I mean it hurt. You would cry and scream for hours… One night you were crying and you asked me why I was hurting you and I said I wasn’t doing it. So you asked me who was doing it and I tried to explain. Your mother came home and yelled at me for telling you the truth.”
I shook my head and started laughing. “And what about Scarlett? Is she adopted too?”
“No, your mother didn’t think she was having another child. We didn’t pay attention and two years after we adopted you she was born.”
“I can’t believe this.” I stood up and laughed, running my hands through my hair. “This is insane.” Ana took my hand but I started walking away. I walked out of the house and Ana didn’t follow me. I got in my car and started to drive.
Scarlett
Luke?” I whispered quietly and knocked on his door. I thought I had heard him come home… It was four in the morning. I hadn’t seen Anastasia around when I had been home and I hadn’t seen my mother. I pushed to door open slightly and saw Luke laying on his bed, twirling a piece of Anastasia’s blonde hair between his fingers.
She smiled and nodded. They were whispering to each other but I couldn’t hear what was being said. I turned around and bolted to my room. I couldn’t take watching them any longer, it was slightly sickening how in love they were. I heard someone coming up the stairs and pretended to be asleep when Mom looked in my room.
Luke
Ana’s hair was so soft between my fingertips… She shut her eyes and I touched my forehead to hers. “You know that it doesn’t matter who your parents are… Or what you are… You’re still you, right? I still love you, more than anything in the entire world.”
I nodded, my self-esteem needed the boost and she knew what I wanted to hear. “Almost every day I wake up next to you and smile because I know that you’ll always be there. And almost every night I go to sleep with you there or knowing that you’ll be there later. My dad said that it was the same way with him and my mother, so he understands. I used to think the only thing that could make me happy was dance, but now… You make me happy.”
“Ana?” I murmured and her eyes met mine. “I wrote something the other day for you. And it sounds really stupid to be honest.”
“I want to hear it…”
I smiled and kissed her forehead. “Your eyes are like oceans, endless, open, care. Your hair is like tiny little ribbons of gold, soft, beautiful, peace. Your skin is like satin, warm, colored, courage. I could go through each individual aspect of you but none of it compares to who you are. You are like you, amazing, gorgeous, wonderful… The list could go on forever, but most of all love.”
She sighed and bit her lower lip. “I love you Luke.”
“And I love you Anastasia.”
I knew the exact moment when she fell asleep and I knew that my mother had come home. I had to talk to her, about everything. Part of me wanted to ignore what happened and leave it alone… But another part of me wanted to go and find my real parents. I wanted to meet them, to know what they were like, to see if I looked anything like them.
I wasn’t entirely sure I would even ask my mother about it. I would probably just ask my father and… That was when I realized that calling them mom and dad, mother and father, wasn’t accurate. They weren’t really my parents. Maybe it was a little mean to admit that but it was the truth. I shut my eyes and made it my summer mission to go meet my parents.
♪♪♪
In the morning I left Ana t
o sleep and went downstairs to see if Scarlett had heard about anything. She was sitting at the table, measuring out her cereal and milk. It wouldn’t matter, she wasn’t really a Dancer… I knew it, and eventually everyone would turn her down for a real Dancer. I took a deep breath and sat down. The maid walked out into the dining room and stood patiently.
“What would you like to eat?”
“What did you eat?” I asked and she tilted her head, staring at me with a puzzled expression. “Never mind… I’ll have eggs.”
“All right, how would you like them?”
“Just scrambled. With some toast. Do we have any strawberries?” Scarlett made a gagging sound and I rolled my eyes. The maid nodded. “And a bowl of those.”
The maid walked out and I looked at Scarlett. “What the hell is your problem?”
“My problem? I don’t have a problem.”
“Fine, what do you have an issue with? Huh? A year and a half ago you idolized Ana. Everything she did you wanted to do. If I told you she wore something to school you wanted to go buy the same thing. Now you hate her. She walks in the room and you glare. I say I’m going out with her and you either beg me not to go or stop speaking to me. Want to tell me what happened?”
She shook her head. “Nothing happened. I just don’t think it’s right for you to give up your dreams for her.”
“What dreams? I wanted to go to MIT, I knew I probably couldn’t do it. So what if I’m not going. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Maybe it doesn’t but it’s so stupid that you would give up what you wanted for a girl.”
“You don’t get it Scarlett.”
“No, I don’t. And I don’t ever want to. I don’t ever want to give up what I want for someone else. And I won’t let you do it either.” She looked down at her cereal.
The maid came back with a bowl and a plate. She set the food in front of me and I took a deep breath. “Could you put that in a container?”
“Okay.” She took the strawberries and I ate my toast.
“What the hell do you mean, ‘you won’t let me do it either?’ What do you mean?” I asked again and she didn’t respond. “Scarlett, tell me.”
She shrugged. “Nothing, I just won’t let you throw away your future for a worthless girl. She’s meaningless and doesn’t deserve you.”
“Go to hell Scarlett,” I said and stood up, taking the strawberries from the maid who had been standing there with the container.
I left the dining room to go upstairs and when I turned the corner I saw Ana… Frozen… Just standing there. It was obvious that she had heard everything. She turned around and ran out of the house. I dropped the container and jogged after her. Damn, she was fast. I was only a hockey player, not a track runner. “Ana!” I yelled after her as she turned the corner. I would have gotten so much farther if I had taken the time to get in the car. And when I turned the corner I couldn’t see her anymore. “Dammit!”
I turned around and jogged back home, still wearing my plaid pajama bottoms and ballerina t-shirt. Then it occurred to me that Ana was barefooted, just like I was, so she couldn’t get to terribly far. I went in the house and ran upstairs. I changed and got in my car. Where would she go?
♪♪♪
I drove to her house first, she knew how to get on a bus. No one was there but her maid who told me that Ana hadn’t come home. I called her father and he said he would call me back if he heard anything. I drove to the high school, the studio and then to the park. She didn’t seem to be anywhere. I drove around for hours and then finally got the strange idea of calling her grandparents.
“Luke? What happened to Anastasia? Where is she?” Kait asked and I heard Jack yelling at her in the background. “I want to know what happened to my granddaughter!”
And then Jack was talking to me. “I can’t see her. Usually I can see