"Oh, dear Lord." Jake opened the door wider and let me in.
Char was still sleeping. I grinned when she made a little mew in her sleep.
"My wife," Jake growled.
"Easy tiger. You won, remember?"
"Damn straight." Jake yawned again. "So, explain, what did you do to Beth to make her leave?"
I gave him a run down. "And she woke me up out of a dead sleep."
"I know the feeling."
"And expects me to be able to form coherent thoughts?"
"How dare she," Jake said dryly.
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
I swore. "I don't know what to do." I wanted to chase her down and punish her for leaving then kiss her senseless for doubting me.
"Well, at least now you know what you shouldn't ever do. Don't ever stare at a woman like she's crazy when she asks you to give her a reason to stay and don't tell her to her face—"
"It was her back," I pointed out.
Jake rolled his eyes. "Don't tell her in any way that you aren't going to chase her. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you wake up this stupid, or does it develop throughout the day?"
My stomach dropped down to where my balls had conveniently disappeared. "This morning, I'd have to say I woke up that way." Either that or the thirty-foot jump jarred something in my head.
A loud bang was heard on the door.
Swearing, Jake ran to open it and came face-to-face with Grandma. She was wearing leopard silk pajamas and had a creepy green mask covering her entire face, except her eyes.
"What did you do?"
"Me?" Jake sputtered. "Try him."
He pointed at me. He may as well have put a giant-ass target on my back and handed Grandma a shotgun.
"You." She joined in the pointing.
I started sweating.
"I basically handed you happiness on a platter!"
With a groan, I hung my head in my hands.
"And how do you thank me? You let her just walk away."
"She's already gone?" I jumped up from my seat. "But how did she get on a boat so fast? How—"
The slap sounded like a crack of thunder. Did she? Had I just been slapped by Grandma?
Jake winced as if he knew firsthand how hard that eighty-six-year-old woman could hit and took a protective stance, covering his man parts. Yeah, I'd probably never father children. That slap killed sperm; it made my balls recoil so far into my body I was pretty sure I would walk funny for at least a week.
"You. Are. A. Jack. Ass. Jack. Ass!" Grandma shouted.
More laughing from Jake.
"You're worse than Shit!"
Jakes laughter turned to confusion.
"She means the donkey," I explained.
"Was your plan just to let her walk away when things got too hard? When things got difficult? Now look what you've done! All my hard work, for nothing! I flew your parents here. I staged your wedding! I dropped crumbs every few minutes so that you'd follow the trail, and what do you do?"
"I crapped on the trail?" I offered lamely.
"You did worse than that."
"I really don't know what could be worse than crapping on the crumbs you're supposed to be eating," Jake said.
"Not now, Jake!" Grandma shouted.
"Someone crapped in trail mix?" came a gargled voice from the bed.
"Char!" Grandma wailed.
Char closed her eyes and ducked under the covers.
"Char!" Grandma tried again.
"What?" Char sighed.
"You can't let Beth leave."
"She's leaving?" Char jumped out of bed. "Why? What happened? The plan was working perfectly!"
"YOU KNEW?" I yelled.
"Whoa!" Jake held up his hands. "Don't get your panties all twisted. We all knew. Well, I mean, we knew once Grandma told us, and to be fair, Travis has known since the airport, but since he's a selfish bastard, he figured if Grandma concentrated on you guys, she wouldn't be texting him every five minutes asking if Kacey's pregnant yet."
"Nothing wrong with a little enthusiasm and encouragement." Grandma sniffled.
"No offense, Grandma," Jake rolled his eyes, "but having your eighty-six-year-old grandmother texting you about sexual positions kinda kills whatever enthusiasm said grandson may be experiencing. It's like sword fighting with noodles. Nobody's going to get poked, and you'll sure as hell get bored real fast."
"Noodles?" Char smacked Jake on the arm. "You're comparing sex to noodles?"
"Keep up!" Grandma stomped. "We have to fix what Jace ruined."
"I can fix it," I raised my hand, "if one of you or all of you tell me what the hell is going on."
"These plans," Grandma began to pace, "they take months to come up with. I can't simply snap my fingers and fix it."
She stopped pacing and smiled, the same one I had come to recognize as the all-knowing smile. People should run when that smile appears; countries should just give up — it's not worth the bloodshed.
"Do you love her?" she asked simply.
It should have been a simple question; instead, the question made me get itchy and squirmy as if I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. It made me afraid and made me feel stupid. Saying yes seemed too hard. Saying no? Too easy.
"He does." Jake sighed irritatingly.
"How do you know?" I snapped.
"Because you're itchy."
"Huh?" Char and Grandma said in unison.
"Players, we know the game well. Believe me, he's all uncomfortable with his feelings. It's why he's so twitchy. His mind is manifesting a physical response to his inability to commit emotionally."
Something happened that night.
Something I'm not sure any of us were willing to purposefully talk about.
Jake Titus, manwhore of the century, not only found his heart, but somewhere deep inside that brain, he found psychology.
It scared the shit out of me.
"Are you drunk?" Char whispered under her breath.
"Admit it." Jake ignored his wife and crossed his arms. "What I said made sense."
"I—" Sweating. Definitely sweating.
"Jace, if you like her so much, why are you hesitating?" Grandma asked sweetly.
"Because I want to get it right." I sighed. "I want to be what she deserves, and I don't think I am. I know I'm not, because if it was her or my future, I think I'd still pick me. Okay? Are you guys happy that you've just discovered what a selfish bastard I can be? I choose me! I don't choose the really pretty girl with bright green eyes. I choose what I've worked years for. I want a second chance. I guess I just wanted it on my terms."
The room fell silent.
"Oh, honey," Grandma pulled me into a tight hug, "it's good for you to admit that."
"It is?" I pulled back.
"Yes." Grandma patted my back. "It's only when we admit what scares us the most — we can conquer our demons. You're afraid of failure, but most importantly, you're afraid of success."
"Success?" I snorted. "I already have that."
"I meant emotional success. Nothing scares you more than knowing, in the end, you are the reason for your own unhappiness. Not some woman, not your career, not anything but your own stubborn self. I believe, Mr. Senator, that you've made your choice. I just hope, in the end, it's worth it."
"A reflection doesn't keep you warm at night," Jake said, all teasing gone from his voice.
"You're right." I hung my head defeated. "But the risk is nothing."
"I'm sorry." Grandma wiped away a tear.
"Grandma, it's fine it's—"
"Not you." She turned. "Her. I'm sorry, Beth."
It was then that I looked at the door. It had been cracked open the whole time. Beth stood there, bags packed. And she'd heard the whole damn conversation. So she'd run, but it hadn't been to the airport. She'd run to the woman who'd brought us here in the first place. She'd run to Grandma, hoping she could fix it, fix me. And she'd failed.
"Beth I—"
> "Save it." She nodded her head and gave a sad smile. "I'll just…" She backed away slowly, rolling her suitcase behind her.
I waited for Jake to punch me. But it seemed even he was too disappointed in me to waste any energy.
Grandma kissed me softly on the cheek and whispered, "Be happy."
The problem? I'd never felt so alone or disappointed in myself in my entire life, and I still had to go tell both my parents that not only had they been duped, but that I'd failed them.
Chapter Thirty-two
"Disappointing, that the senator shows such little character."
"He's just a boy." Grandma held a tissue up to her eye and dabbed. "He wants to piss on the world and claim it as his, all the while forgetting that at the end of the day, when your home is empty, what do you really have to show for the success you've had? The life you've lived? Success fades. Family? It's forever."
Beth
I always pitied those girls you saw at the airports. The ones that had tear-stained cheeks, were saying goodbye to friends or family or even significant others as they put on the old red white and blue and flew overseas.
My eyes were swollen, my bags packed like I was fleeing the country, and, of course, in my current state of distress I hadn't even realized that I had sweats on and no makeup.
The conversation I'd overheard? Not my favorite. In all my rashness I'd decided to talk to Grandma. I know, I know. She didn't sound like the voice of reason, but I wanted to thank her for the trip. She'd easily got it out of me, why I was upset, and said she'd fix it. She'd grabbed my hand and led me to the hut. It hadn't been hard to find Jace; the yelling had helped. She'd told me to wait outside.
I wish I would have gotten in the damn taxi. Because after hearing Jace's voice, the words from his mouth? I knew the truth. In the end, he would always choose himself; he'd let me walk away, and although he'd be sad about letting me go… To him? His job was his mistress, his wife, his everything. Even if he was guilt-free in the entire scenario, he still couldn't admit how he felt.
To me, that was weakness. Not being able to share your innermost feelings with someone? It's inexcusable, especially when that person does you the great honor of doing the exact same thing in hopes you'll return it.
I wiped away another tear and walked toward security.
"Beth?"
Kill me now.
"Beth?"
Seriously, God, send the lightning, I wanna go down in flames.
"Where's Jace?" A hand gripped my arm. I had a momentary vision of me turning around, grabbing Brett by the balls, and twisting until I heard either a pop or a tear.
"Not here," I said dryly.
Brett grinned seductively. "Paris is sleeping."
"Your point?" What? Did he want a cookie for getting his wife to go to bed on time? Fresh out, buddy., Sorry. And let's be honest, even if I had a cookie, I wouldn't share. I was so not in the sharing mood. Unless the cookie had arsenic; I'd stuff it in his throat and smile the whole damn time.
"Well…" Brett reached up to cup my face.
I tried to jerk back, but he held my chin firm within his fingers.
"You're here. I'm here. Your little senator is missing, and it seems I have some free time. You wanted me all those years ago in high school, and I'm like a fine wine. I taste better with time… We could go kill a few hours. What do you say?"
"You can't afford me." I glared.
"Try me."
"It was a joke." I finally jerked free. "I'm not a prostitute, you bastard! And I'm sorry, but cheating husbands don't really appeal to me."
"And cheating senators do?"
"Pardon?"
"Please." He laughed. "You really think you're enough to keep a man like Jace Brevik occupied? He'd cheat on you within the first year of marriage."
Grandma was going to have to bail me out of prison.
I reared back to slap him, when someone grabbed my hand and jerked me against his chest then twisted me around. A hot mouth met mine with force and urgency; he tasted like rum. Jace.
What? Here?
Jace released me and turned. "You rotting bastard. I should kill you."
And then I heard a yelp.
Jace released me just as Jake landed a blow to Brett's face, sending him sailing to the floor.
"Thanks." Jace held out his hand to Jake. "Nice hit."
"Yeah, well," Jake shrugged, "not the first airport fight I've gotten into."
"Titus men." Another voice chimed in.
"Char?"
My sister waved and gave me a sad smile that just screamed guilt.
"Where are you going?" Jace asked calmly. "I want to give you a reason to stay. I need you to stay." He cupped my face in his hands. "Stay for me."
"That's a good reason." I nodded, tears pooling in my eyes.
"Listen," he licked his lips, "I have something to tell you, something to explain. I'm not really sure I understand it myself, but I think it will help. Full honesty, full disclosure on my part. Don't leave."
"Jace, I can't—"
"Who's not worth the risk now?"
Maybe he was right. Maybe in the end I was running because I was scared.
It happened too fast. The photographers, the lights, the cameras going off. I blinked, and then we were surrounded. I looked like hell, and Jace looked so stunned his mouth opened and closed three times before he could form words.
"Mr. Senator? Is this the woman you've been hiding from us?"
"Mr. Senator, is she a prostitute? Or truly a family friend?
"Mr. Senator, was this a planned destination wedding, or are you just joining in a publicity stunt to help with your approval ratings?"
Question after question was fired at him.
I waited for him to defend me, for him to explain to them exactly what had happened with Grandma, not that they'd believe it.
Instead he looked directly at me and said in a sad voice, "She's an old family friend. No wedding, no prostitutes, just the happy coincidence of being on the same vacation. Isn't that right, Beth?"
His eyes pleaded with mine, while tears clouded my vision so much that I couldn't see straight. I gave a pathetic nod and turned away, knowing this time he wouldn't come after me, and I wouldn't turn back.
He'd been given a third opportunity in a day to make his choice.
And for the third time, he'd failed to choose me.
Chapter Thirty-three
"Did you send the reporters?" The agent rubbed his face and sighed.
"It's possible."
"So that's a yes."
Grandma picked at her sweater. "I'm elderly, memory's not what it used to be."
"And just how was ratting out the senator supposed to help the relationship? If anything, it made it worse."
"It didn't." Grandma smirked. "Because clearly the senator is still missing, and so is she."
Jace
The look on Beth's face devastated me, like a punch to the gut. I tried to catch my breath, but every inhale was filled with utter disgust and panic. I'd just told her to her face, for the third time that day, that she wasn't enough. But I'd done it to protect her — to give her time to decide what she felt about me. Instead, she'd walked away. Not me. Her.
Every insecurity she must have felt about herself was probably scratching to the surface, and it was all my fault. All because I was selfish careless bastard. Every instinct told me to run after her, but what would that do? She'd probably slap me and end up on the six o'clock news. So I stayed rooted to the ground and did my damn job — I smiled pretty for the cameras, and I smoothed things over. Never in my life had I had to work so hard to pretend like my world wasn't crashing down around me.
"Senator," another reporter shoved a microphone in my face, "Channel Five, can you tell us why you're visiting the islands?"
A flash went right off in my line of vision…
I heard screeching tires all over again, and then glass went everywhere. A flashlight was shined in my eyes. "Son, are you al
right?"
I forced a tight smile. "Much needed vacation."
"But our sources say that—"
"Excuse me." I pushed away from the crowd to Jake and Char. They'd come as reinforcements to help convince Beth to stay.
The reporters followed me.
Char opened her mouth, but Jake covered it with his hand. "Not here."
We walked outside and got into a cab.
I was tense as hell.
"Why?" Char whispered.
"What did you want him to do, Char?" Jake jumped to my defense. "Call her out on national television? Say that they were together? Steal the last shred of privacy she may have had? The way I see it is he made it easier for her to run."
"She's not running!" Char fired back. "She's hurt!"
"So am I!" I yelled, realizing too late that I had given myself away.
Char grabbed my hand, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything.
I'd told myself I wouldn't get attached, and look where that had gotten me. In the exact predicament I hadn't wanted to be in. I wasn't heartbroken. I was too angry with myself and angry with the situation to feel anything worthwhile.
The anger didn't dissipate. If anything, it intensified when we pulled up to the resort, and my parents were waiting in the lobby with Grandma in tow.
I expected lots of yelling and confusion. What I didn't expect was for my father to pull me in to a giant hug and pat my back, like he was still somehow proud of the ass his son had become.
My mom smiled sadly and squeezed my hand.
"Let's go have a nice morning chat." Dad led me toward one of the restaurants.
I ordered black coffee and stared mindlessly into it while he ordered breakfast for both of us.
"A month ago," Dad stirred some milk into his coffee, "I had a nice chat with Travis."
Not what I expected. Warning bells went off in my head.
"He was worried about you, said you'd been drinking more and acting careless. I immediately assumed it was all that Kerri-business coming back to haunt you. Then Travis said something interesting."