“She shouldn’t have done that,” she heard herself say as she stared at Sally’s still form. “Not for me.” These young ones had no idea how old she was, how long she had lived and how many lives she had spent. They couldn’t comprehend fifty years, let alone thousands. She had screamed at Sally to stop, to not put the pill in her mouth and just like the bloody wolves were apt to do, the healer had ignored her wishes. And now she was dead, taken from this world much too early in her young life and it was Peri’s fault. As she watched Costin wrap his arms around his mate, tears stained his face and pain that Peri knew she’d never experience, wracked his body. She didn’t have a mate. She had no clue what it would be like to lose someone that you loved so completely. And as she watched the wolf before her crumble over the loss of his female, she knew she would never want to love like that, not if it meant experiencing that kind of pain.
“Wake up, beloved. It is only a dream. The healer lives, and you have a mate,” a deep voice rumbled into her consciousness pushing away the heavy sleep.
Peri sat up abruptly in her bed. The material of her sleep clothes clung to her sweaty skin as her heart pounded in her chest and her breathing came in shaky gasps. It had been the same dream she’d been having for weeks. And just as always, the same deep voice had interrupted it, pushing her to wake from the nightmare.
“I have asked you politely to stay out of my head,” she spoke into the dark room.
A chuckle whispered through her mind causing goose bumps to break out across her skin.
“So telling me to get a damn life and leave you the hell alone is your version of polite?” Lucian asked.
She rolled her eyes and began gathering her long shimmering white hair into a pony tail and then twisting it up until it was all tightly gathered. She used her magic to hold it in place.
“I didn’t throw anything at you and I didn’t stab you. So yes, that is my version of polite,” she snapped at him. She felt silly talking to her empty room but then she didn’t want to use the mental link between them, something that only happened between true mates; it felt much too intimate. She had tried to block him and been successful for a while, but their bond had only grown stronger despite her neglect. Eventually, he had been able to force his way in. When she had pointed out how rude that was, he had pointed out that it was rude of her to yell and curse him. He was right, of course, but she wasn’t about to tell him so.
“I do not know why you are fighting this, Perizada. You are my true mate; you have the other half of my soul and I have yours.”
“You can keep it. I’ve gotten along fine without it for all this time.”
“I could help you with the nightmares,” he murmured into her mind.
“I don’t think my nightmares are afraid of the big bad wolf—sorry to disappoint.”
“You underestimate the healing power of love. Love mends many things; it could mend the brokenness inside of you.”
“Bloody hell, did you get that off a Hallmark card?” Peri laughed, unable to stop herself as she imagined the big, intimidating Lucian, with his six foot four frame, blonde unruly hair, and stoic glacial stare, standing in the greeting card section of a store scanning cards for the perfect words.
“What’s a Hallmark card?” The confusion in his voice only made her laugh harder.
This time she heard a low growl before he spoke. “I’m glad that my ignorance amuses you. At least you’re laughing instead of cursing at me.”
Peri’s laugh was halted immediately, not because of what he’d said, but because of the way he sounded when he said it. He was hurt by her efforts to push him away. She closed her eyes and let herself open up to the bond just a little, just so she could feel him, feel what he felt. But though she had opened it just a fraction, the power of his emotions was like a tidal wave. They crashed into her, busting the door wide open. Then, he was everywhere.
He surrounded her, his love, his fear, his confusion and pain—it was all there—pushing into her, causing her to fall from the bed to the floor under the sheer weight of it. How does he live like this, she thought to herself as she closed her eyes and tried to breathe. How could anyone feel so intensely and not be buried under it all? She clenched her hands into fists and bit her lip to keep from crying as his grief washed over her.
“Bloody hell,” she rasped as she leaned forward, pressing her forehead into the cold, stone floor of the room she used while staying at the Romanian pack mansion. The door to the room flew open just as the darkness that lived inside of him smothered her, driving away all of the emotions and leaving something even worse, utter despair and loneliness.
“Peri,” Lucian’s voice pierced the silence as his arms came around her. He picked her up effortlessly and held her in his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, beloved. I didn’t know that would happen. I didn’t know our bond would open all the way.”
Peri knew she should push him away. She shouldn’t encourage such touchiness, but she found herself buying her face in his chest and relishing his big, warm hand rubbing her back with a gentleness that she knew he had not been shown in a very long time. She felt her eyes begin to fill with tears, tears she had still not allowed herself to cry. Wrapped safely in Lucian’s arms, however, she found herself finally letting go. She gripped his shirt tightly as the sobs broke through the usually tightly controlled appearance. His arms tightened around her and she felt his breath on her neck as he whispered to her in Romanian. She was familiar with his language and caught a few words but she was too far gone to get it all. Instead, she latched onto the sound of his voice and used it as her center, to refocus herself as she tried to pull it together.
“You have to let it out,” Lucian told her even as she tried to lock it all back up. “You can’t keep carrying all of that inside of you. You can let go, Peri. I’ve got you, and I won’t let go. I won’t let you fall apart.”
Peri choked back a sound that she was sure would have had all the wolves headed their way as she fully grasped what it was Lucian was saying to her. She wasn’t alone.
“Never again,” he whispered and then pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Whether you want me or not, I am yours and you are mine.”
The tears continued to fall as she finally let go of the grief she had been carrying ever since she had been in the dark forest. She cried for the things she had seen, for the pain she wasn’t able to prevent and for the loss that she could never restore. She cried for the sister who had turned her back on her and their people. She cried for fear of all the emotions that were swirling around her, comforting her and protecting her. All the while, as the tears continued to fall, Lucian held her.
∞
Lorelle slowly pushed the door to the old castle open, cringing at the loud, creaking hinges in the silent, deserted forest. With Reyaz, the warlock she had aligned herself with in order to destroy Perizada, out of the picture, and her betrayal known to, well, everyone, she’d had to make a hasty retreat and the dark forest, empty of all her enemies was the perfect place for her to lie low. She knew the council would be coming for her. They wouldn’t let her crimes go unpunished. After all, how would it look to the rest of the supernatural world if the ones who are supposed to be in charge can’t even police their own?
She took a step through the doorway, half expecting some sort of residual magic to strike her. But when nothing did, she took another step, and then another, until she was all the way into the foyer. She turned in a slow circle and whistled appreciatively at the grandness of the entryway. At one time, before Volcan had been attacked by the wolves and the fae, his castle had been magnificent. As she took in the now drab, grey stone walls, the torn window dressings and dusty floor, she had to admit it was a far cry from the majestic palace it once was. Still, it had potential.
“Potential for what?” She asked herself out loud as she walked over to the staircase and sat on the third step up. “I mean, what do I honestly plan to do here?”
Her sister was dead,
that’s what she had wanted, right?
“Yes, but I hadn’t planned on getting found out by the council,” she answered herself. “I had planned on getting my sister out of the way so that I could become the powerful high fae that I should have been. Instead, I’m still living in her shadow.”
Lorelle felt a rush of cold air blow across her face and ruffled her hair. She stilled, barely breathing as the air continued to swirl around her. She wanted to think that it was nothing, just a breeze because she had left the door open, but she was no fool and she knew the touch of magic when she felt it.
“Show yourself,” she demanded.
“I would…if I could,” a deep voice rasped at her, only slightly louder than a whisper.
She felt the air brush the back of her neck and she abruptly stood, hoping to put some space between her and whatever it was that had joined her.
“What does that mean?” She asked the voice.
“I would show myself to you if I could,” it responded.
She rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. “Fine, if you can’t show yourself, tell me who you are or who it is that commands you.” Lorelle fought the urge to shiver as she felt the temperature drop. She refused to show weakness, especially when she didn’t know if this voice belonged to friend or foe.
“There is no one who can command me,” the voice growled. “There are none great enough to wield power over me.”
She snorted. “If that’s so, then why am I only hearing your voice and not seeing your form? If you are so powerful, so great,” she bit off the word, “then why aren’t you standing here before me?” She held her breath waiting for a response. When several minutes passed without an answer she began to wonder if she had finally cracked and the voice was only in her head. Then, for a brief panic attack inducing minute, she considered that it could be Perizada’s spirit. She would not put it past her sister to haunt her for all eternity if she could find a way. As she pondered the terrible implications of this thought, the castle walls began to shake.
Lorelle backed away from the stairs as loose rocks tumbled down from the rattling walls. The ground rolled beneath her and she was sure something was going to sprout up out of the floor at any moment. She held her arms out to catch her balance and then looked up ominously at the huge chandelier that hung from the high ceiling. It swayed threateningly and Lorelle took a big step back, attempting to get out of its line of fire should it decide to fall.
“I am ancient. I have created power and sent it out into the world to spread my essence. I have battled numerous foes and still I survive. Do not think to insult me in my own home, Lorelle, formerly of the high fae, sister of Perizada.”
Lorelle felt her heart literally drop into her feet as his words bore into her mind, drawing up images of the facts he spewed. She felt her head begin to shake. No, she thought to herself, hoping with everything inside her that this wasn’t real. It was surely just a dream. She had fallen asleep on the steps and she was so tired and so unsure of what to do next. Her eyes squeezed closed tight as the voice finally spoke his name, and she felt any future that she might have had slip away.
“I am Volcan.”
∞
Peri stood, blessedly alone, in her room staring out of the window. Lucian had finally left after she had threatened to turn him into several unsavory rodents. But she knew he had only left because she promised to have breakfast with him. She let out a lengthy exhale as she thought about the events of the night. She had to admit that she felt better after her mini—okay so it might not have been so mini—meltdown. It was as if a festering boil had been popped and now that all the infection was out, though it still hurt, it would heal. Knowing she would heal, that she could heal, gave her much hope, even in the face of the difficult task before her.
She finally turned away from the window. As she headed for the door, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She chuckled as she took in the dark jeans and trendy top. Jen, one of the American female mates of the Serbian pack alpha, had gotten a hold of her and told her in no uncertain terms that while she was in the human realm she was bloody damn well going to look human. Peri had let her have her say because though she would not admit it to Jen herself, she liked the crazy female. She supposed she looked alright for someone several thousand old. Her smile turned a tad wicked when she considered what Lucian would say when he saw her jeans. He wasn’t just from a different era. He was from several different eras ago and in his time, women never wore trousers. They were considered indecent because of the way they hugged the curves of the female form.
Knowing that her clothes were bound to aggravate Lucian put a bounce in her step that hadn’t been there before. She pulled the door open and headed towards the dining hall where she would have to make her announcement that tonight would be her last night in the Romanian pack mansion. She had yet to discuss it with the Great Luna, and she knew she would have to soon since it was the goddess who had put her over the Romanian wolves all those centuries ago.
Her thoughts wandered as she walked without thinking, her feet had grown so very familiar with the home. She felt a pang in her heart as she realized that is exactly what she considered it, her home. She shook her head as she stepped up to the doors of the dining room, trying to get her emotions under control. It wouldn’t do for her to walk in crying like a blubbering fool. “Wouldn’t that evoke confidence in them,” she snorted as she pulled the door open and walked in to join the others.
Without any preamble she announced, “I feel it is necessary that I take a leave of absence, Vasile.” Peri’s voice pierced the silence that had settled over the dining room upon her arrival. Vasile sat at the head of the table with Alina to his right and Sorin on his left. Her quick glance around revealed Decebel, the Serbian pack Alpha, was visiting again. Next to him sat Lucian and across from Lucian sat Fane, Vasile’s only son. There were others, all male she realized. Huh, she thought as she looked back at Lucian who was now standing, that must be why he’s looking at me like I’ve just walked into this room in my most revealing lingerie. She cocked an eyebrow at him, daring him to say something about her jeans. She didn’t have to wait long.
“What are you wearing?” He asked through their bond.
“Though you are not from this century, or the one before it, I still trust that you are an intelligent male and can figure out what I have clad myself in,” Peri answered dryly.
Lucian’s scowl deepened at her. She simply shrugged her shoulders at him and said, “Just because we had a moment last night does not mean I’m going to make this easy on you.”
“I’ll remember your words when you are begging for my touch, mate,” his voice grew deep as his eyes narrowed at her.
Peri wanted to stomp her foot like a child and whine about how it wasn’t fair that she didn’t know all the facts behind the mate bond. Sure, she may have observed them over the centuries, but observing and taking part were two very different things. She felt at a distinct disadvantage with Lucian. If there was one thing that Peri didn’t do well, it was lose. No, she was not a graceful loser and so she knew she was going to have to start researching the true mate bond and what all it entailed.
“Will you join us, Peri?” Vasile spoke up, pulling her from her thoughts and drawing her attention from Lucian.
“If that is what I must do to seem agreeable, then fine I’ll sit, I’ll eat, and I might even listen, but then I’m going.” She walked down the side of the table Lucian sat on and took the seat he held out for her. As she started to reach for a roll she heard Lucian growl at her. She pulled her hand back and turned her head slowly to glare at him.
“What is your problem?” She whispered as she leaned towards him. She heard low chuckles and laughs disguised as coughs around her but she didn’t take her eyes off of Lucian.
“I will fix your plate,” he told her simply.
She considered arguing with him but he was already doing exactly what he said and really what was the point? Pick y
our battles, Peri, she told herself. As the huge male set her plate, overflowing with a ridiculous amount of food, down in front of her, she added there will be many.
“I’m assuming that you want to be relieved of your duties with my pack in order to hunt down your sister?” Vasile asked.
“That is correct, Alpha. She is my responsibility and her treachery must be dealt with,” Peri said coolly.
“Is the council not sending anyone after her?” Decebel spoke up.
“I’m sure they will,” Peri shrugged, “but it is by my hand that she should be punished. It is my right.”
“Are you sure you want to be the one to do it, Peri?” Vasile’s voice was filled with sympathy. “The taking of life is not easily undone. You will have to bear that cross for the rest of your very long existence.”
She snorted. “Are you questioning my ability to kill my sister, after she was involved in the murder of not only my life, but your wolves?” She shook her head in irritation. “You clearly have forgotten how cruel I can be when it is deemed necessary.”
“Any of us who have been on the receiving end of your wrath would never doubt your ability to deal out punishment, Peri,” Vasile pointed out. “However, dealing out punishment to our own flesh and blood is an entirely different matter.”
Peri dropped her fork and it hit the plate with a loud clank. The wolves in the room stilled as she slowly pushed her chair back and rose from her seat. “Do you presume me weak, Vasile, Alpha to the Romanian pack? Do you challenge my ability to do my job?” Her voice was cold, calculating and maybe a tad overdramatic. Peri, you have got to get your crap together, she growled to herself as she watched Vasile go very still.
“Leave us please,” he said not taking his eyes off of Peri.