_Under colour of Confession, and of a most pure conscience, a faireyoung Gentlewoman, being amourously affected to an honest man; induceda devoute and solemne religious Friar, to advise her in the meanes(without his suspition or perceiving) how to enjoy the benefit of herfriend, and bring her desires to their full effect._
The third Novell.
_Declaring, that the leude and naughty qualities of some persons, doeoftentimes misguide good people, into very great and greevous errors._
When Madam _Pampinea_ sate silent, and the Querries boldnesse equalledwith his crafty cunning, and great wisedome in the King had passedamong them with generall applause; the Queene, turning her selfe toMadam _Philomena_, appointed her to follow next in order, and to holdrancke with her discourse, as the rest had done before her: whereupon_Philomena_ graciously began in this manner.
It is my purpose, to acquaint you with a notable mockery, which wasperformed (not in jest, but earnest) by a faire Gentlewoman, to agrave and devoute religious Friar, which will yeelde so much themore pleasure and recreation, to every secular understander, if butdiligently he or shee doe observe; how commonly those religious persons(at least the most part of them) like notorious fooles, are theinventers of new courses and customes, as thinking themselves more wiseand skilful in all things then any other; yet prove to be of no worthor validity, addicting the very best of all their devises, to expressetheir owne vilenesse of minde, and fatten themselves in their sties,like to pampered Swine. And assure your selves worthy Ladies, thatI doe not tell this Tale onely to follow the order enjoyned me; butalso to informe you that such Saint-like holy Sirs, of whom we are tooopinative and credulous, may be, yea, and are (divers times) cunninglymet withall, in their craftinesse, not onely by men, but likewise someof our owne sexe, as I shall make it apparant to you.
In our owne City (more full of craft and deceit, then love orfaithfull dealing) there lived not many yeeres since a Gentlewoman,of good spirit, highly minded, endued with beauty and all commendablequalities, as any other woman (by nature) could be. Her name, orany others, concerned in this Novell, I meane not to make manifest,albeit I know them, because some are yet living, and thereby may bescandalized; and therefore it shall suffice to passe them over witha smile. This Gentlewoman, seeing her selfe to be descended of verygreat parentage, and (by chance) married to an Artezen, a Clothier orDrapier, that lived by the making and selling of Cloth: shee couldnot (because he was a Trades-man) take downe the height of her minde;conceiving, that no man of meane condition (how rich soever) was worthyto enjoy a Gentlewoman in marriage. Observing moreover, that with allhis wealth and treasure, he understood nothing better, then to openskeines of yarne, fill shuttles, lay webbes in Loomes, or dispute withhis Spinsters, about their businesse.
Being thus over-swayed with her proud opinion, shee would no longerbe embraced, or regarded by him in any manner, saving onely becauseshe could not refuse him; but would find some other for her bettersatisfaction, who might seeme more worthy of her respect, then theDrapier her Husband did. Hereupon shee fell so deepe in love, with avery honest man of our City also, and of indifferent yeeres; as whatday shee saw him not, shee could take no rest the night ensuing. Theman himselfe knew nothing hereof, and therefore was the more neglectand carelesse, and she being curious, nice, yet wisely considerate;durst not let him understand it, neither by any womans close conveyedmessage, nor yet by Letters, as fearing the perils which happen in suchcases. But her eye observing his daily walkes and resorts, gave hernotice of his often conversing with a religious Friar, who albeit hewas a fat and corpulent man, yet notwithstanding, because he seemed toleade a sanctimonious life, and was reported to be a most honest man;she perswaded her selfe, that he might be the best meanes, betweene herand her friend.
Having considered with her selfe, what course was best to be observedin this case; upon a day, apt and convenient, shee went to the Convent,where he kept, and having caused him to be called, shee told him, thatif his leysure so served, very gladly shee would be confessed, andonely had made her choyce of him. The holy man seeing her, and reputingher to be a Gentlewoman, as indeede shee was no lesse; willingly heardher, and when shee had confessed what shee could, shee had yet anothermatter to acquaint him withall, and thereupon thus she began.
Holy Father, it is no more then convenient, that I should have recourseto you, to be assisted by your help and councell, in a matter which Iwill impart unto you. I know, that you are not ignorant of my parentsand husband, of whom I am affected as dearely as his life, for proofewhereof, there is not any thing that I can desire, but immediatly Ihave it of him, he being a most rich man, and may very sufficientlyaffoord it. In regard whereof, I love him equally as my selfe, and,setting aside my best endeavours for him; I must tell you one thing,if I should do anything contrary to his liking and honour, no womancan more worthily deserve death, then my selfe. Understand then, goodFather, that there is a man, whose name I know not, but hee seemethto be honest, and of good worth; moreover (if I am not deceived) heeresorteth oftentimes to you, being faire and comely of person, goingalwayes in blacke garments of good price and value. This man, imagining(perhaps) no such minde in me, as truely there is; hath often attemptedmee, and never can I be at my doore, or window, but hee is alwayespresent in my sight, which is not a little displeasing to me; hewatcheth my walkes, and much I mervaile, that he is not now here.
Let me tell you holy Sir, that such behaviours, doe many times lay badimputations upon very honest women, yet without any offence in them.It hath often run in my minde, to let him have knowledge thereof by mybrethren: but afterward I considered, that men (many times) delivermessages in such sort, as draw on very ungentle answeres, whereon growwords, and words beget actions. In which respect, because no harme orscandall should ensue, I thought it best to be silent; determining,to acquaint you rather therewith, then any other, as well becauseyou seeme to be his friend, as also in regard of your office, whichpriviledgeth you, to correct such abuses, not onely in friends, butalso in strangers. Enowe other women there are, (more is the pitty) who(perhaps) are better disposed to such suites, then I am, and can bothlike and allowe of such courting, otherwise then I can doe; as beingwilling to embrace such offers, and (happily) loath to yeeld deniall.Wherefore, most humbly I entreat you, good Father (even for our blessedLadies sake) that you would give him a friendly reprehension, andadvise him, to use such unmanly meanes no more hereafter. With whichwords, shee hung downe her head in her bosome, cunningly dissembling,as if shee wept, wiping her eyes with her Handkerchife, when not ateare fell from them, but indeed were dry enough.
The holy Religious man, so soone as he heard her description ofthe man, presently knew whom shee meant, and highly commending theGentlewoman, for her good and vertuous seeming disposition, beleevedfaithfully all that shee had said: promising her, to order the matterso well and discreetly, as shee should not be any more offended. Andknowing her to be a woman of great wealth (after all their usuallmanner, when they cast forth their fishing nets for gaine:) liberallyhe commended Almes-deedes, and dayly workes of charity, recounting toher (beside) his owne perticular necessities. Then, giving him twopieces of gold, she said. I pray you (good Father) to be mindfull ofme, and if he chance to make any deniall: tell him boldly, that I spakeit my selfe to you, and by the way of a sad complaint her confessionbeing ended, and penance easie enough enjoyned her, shee promised tomake her parents bountifull benefactours to the Convent, and put moremoney into his hand, desiring him in his Masses, to remember the soulesof her deceased friends, and so returned home to her house.
Within a short while after her departure, the Gentleman, of whomshe had made this counterfeit complaint, came thither, as was hisusuall manner, and having done his duty to the holy Father; they satedowne together privately, falling out of one discourse into another.At the length, the Frier (in very loving and friendly sort) mildlyreproved him, for such amorous glaunces, and other pursuites, which(as he thought) hee dayly used to the Gentlewoman, according toher owne speeches
. The Gentleman mervailed greatly thereat, as onethat had never seene her, and very sildome passed by the way whereshe dwelt, which made him the bolder in his answeres; wherein theConfessour interrupting him, said. Never make such admiration at thematter, neither waste more words in these stout denials, because theycannot serve thy turne: I tell thee plainely, I heard it not from anyneighbours, but even of her owne selfe, in a very sorrowfull and sadcomplaint. And though (perhaps) hereafter, thou canst very hardlyrefraine such follies; yet let mee tell thee so much of her (and underthe seale of absolute assurance) that she is the onely woman of theworld, who (in my true judgement) doth hate and abhorre all such basebehaviour. Wherefore, in regard of thine owne honour, as also not tovexe & prejudice so vertuous a Gentlewoman: I pray thee refrain suchidlenes henceforward, & suffer hir to live in peace.
The Gentleman, being a little wiser then his ghostly Father, perceivedimmediatly (without any further meditating on the matter) the notablepollicie of the woman: whereupon, making somewhat bashfull appearanceof any error already committed; hee said, hee would afterward be betteradvised. So, departing from the Frier, he went on directly, to passeby the house where the Gentlewoman dwelt, and she stood alwayes readyon her watch, at a little window, to observe, when hee should walkethat way: And seeing him comming, she shewed her selfe so joyfull,and gracious to him, as he easily understood, whereto the substanceof the holy Fathers chiding tended. And, from that time forward, heeused dayly, though in covert manner (to the no little liking of theGentlewoman and himselfe) to make his passage through that streete,under colour of some important occasions there, concerning him.
Soone after, it being plainely discerned on either side, that theone was as well contented with these walkes, as the other could be:shee desired to enflame him a little further, by a more liberallillustration of her affection towards him, when time and placeaffoorded convenient opportunity. To the holy Father againe sheewent, (for shee had been too long from shrift) and kneeling downeat his feete, intended to begin her confession in teares; which theFriar perceiving, sorrowfully demanded of her, what new accident hadhappened? Holy Father (quoth shee) no novell accident, but onely yourwicked and ungracious friend, by whom (since I was here with you, yea,no longer agoe then yesterday) I have beene so wronged, as I verilybeleeve that hee was borne to be my mortall enemie, and to make me doesomething to my utter disgrace for ever; and whereby I shall not dareto be seene any more of you, my deare Father. How is this? answered theFriar, hath he not refrained from afflicting you so abusively?
Pausing a while, and breathing foorth many a dissembled sigh, thusshee replyed. No truly, holy Father, there is no likelyhood of hisabstaining; for since I made my complaint to you, he belike taking itin evill part, to be contraried in his wanton humours, hath (meerely indespight) walked seaven times in a day by my doore, whereas formerly,he never used it above once or twice. And well were it (good Father)if he could be contented with those walkes, and gazing glaunces whichhee dartes at me: but growne he is so bolde and shamelesse, thateven yesterday, (as I tolde you) he sent a woman to me, one of his_Pandoraes_, as it appeared, and as if I had wanted either Purses orGirdles, he sent me (by her) a Purse and a Girdle. Whereat I grew sogrievously offended, as had it not beene for my due respect and feareof God, and next the sacred reverence I beare to you my ghostly Father;doubtlesse, I had done some wicked deede. Neverthelesse, happily Iwithstood it, and will neither say or doe any thing in this case, tillfirst I have made it knowne to you.
Then I called to minde, that having redelivered the Purse and Girdleto his shee messenger, (which brought them) with lookes sufficient todeclare my discontentment: I called her backe againe, fearing leastshee would keepe them to her selfe, and make him beleeve, that I hadreceived them (as I have heard such kind of women use to doe sometimes)and in anger I snatcht them from her, and have brought them hither toyou, to the end that you may give him them againe; and tell him, I haveno neede of any such things, thankes be to Heaven and my husband, as nowoman can be better stored then I am. Wherefore good Father, purposelyam I now come to you, and I beseech you accept my just excuse, that ifhe will not abstaine from thus molesting me, I will disclose it to myHusband, Father, and Brethren, whatsoever shall ensue thereon: for Ihad rather he should receive the injury (if needs it must come) then Ito be causelesly blamed for him; wherein good Father tell me, if I doenot well. With many counterfeit sobbes, sighes, and teares, these wordeswere delivered; and drawing foorth from under her gowne, a very faireand rich purse, as also a Girdle of great worth, shee threw them intothe Friers lap.
He verily beleeving all this false report, being troubled in his mindethereat beyond measure, tooke the Gentlewoman by the hand, saying:Daughter, if thou be offended at these impudent follies, assuredlyI cannot blame thee, not will any wise man reproove thee for it;and I commend thee for following my counsell. But let me alone forschooling of my Gentleman: ill hath he kept his promise made to mee;wherefore, in regard of his former offence, as also this other solately committed, I hope to set him in such a heate, as shall make himleave off from further injurying thee. And in Gods name, suffer not thyselfe to be conquered by choler, in disclosing this to thy kindred orhusband, because too much harme may ensue thereon. But feare not anywrong to thy selfe; for, both before God and men, I am a true witnesseof thine honesty and vertue.
Now began she to appeare somewhat better comforted; & forbearing toplay on this string any longer, as wel knowing the covetousness ofhim and his equals, she said. Holy Father, some few nights past, methought in my sleepe, that divers spirits of my kindred appeared to mein a vision, who (me thought) were in very great paines, and desirednothing else but Almes; especially my God-mother, who seemed to beeafflicted with such extreme poverty, that it was most pittifull tobehold. And I am half perswaded, that her torments are the greater,seeing mee troubled with such an enemy to goodnesse. Wherefore (goodFather) to deliver her soule and the others, out of those fearfullflames; among your infinite other devout prayers, I would have you tosay the fortie Masses of S. _Gregory_, as a meanes for their happydeliverance, and so she put ten ducates into his hand. Which the holyman accepted thankfully, and with good words, as also many singularexamples, confirmed her bountifull devotion: and when he had given herhis benediction, home she departed.
After that the Gentlewoman was gone, hee sent for his friend, whomshe so much seemed to be troubled withall; and when he was come, heebeholding his Holy Father to looke discontentedly: thought, that nowhe should heare some newes from his Mistresse, and therefore expectedwhat he would say. The Frier, falling into the course of his formerreprehensions, but yet in more rough and impatient manner, sharpelycheckt him for his immodest behaviour towards the Gentlewoman, insending her the Purse and Girdle. The Gentleman, who as yet could notguesse whereto his speeches tended; somewhat coldly and temperately,denied the sending of such tokens to her, to the end that he would notbe utterly discredited with the good man, if so bee the Gentlewoman hadshewne him any such things. But then the Frier, waxing much more angry,sternly said. Bad man as thou art, how canst thou deny a manifesttrueth? See sir, these are none of your amorous tokens? No, I am sureyou doe not know them, nor ever saw them till now.
The Gentleman, seeming as if he were much ashamed, saide. TruelyFather I do know them, and confesse that I have done ill, and verygreatly offended: but now I will sweare unto you, seeing I understandehow firmely she is affected, that you shall never heare any morecomplaints of me. Such were his vowes and protestations, as in the endthe ghostly Father gave him both the Purse and Girdle: then after hehad preached, & severely conjured him, never more to vexe her with anygifts at all, and he binding himselfe thereto by a solemne promise,he gave him license to depart. Now grew the Gentleman very jocond,being so surely certified of his Mistresses love, and by tokens ofsuch worthy esteeme; wherefore no sooner was hee gone from the Frier,but hee went into such a secret place, where he could let her beholdat her Window, what precious tokens he had receyved from her, whereofshe was extraordinarily jo
yfull, because her devices grew still betterand better; nothing now wanting, but her husbands absence, upon somejourney from the City, for the full effecting of her desire.
Within a few dayes after, such an occasion hapned, as her husband ofnecessity must journey to _Geneway_; and no sooner was hee mounted onhorsebacke, taking leave of her and all his friends: but she, beingsure hee was gone, went in all hast to her Ghostly Father; and, aftera few faigned outward shewes, thus she spake. I must now plainly tellyou, holy father, that I can no longer endure this wicked friend ofyours; but because I promised you the other day, that I would not doany thing, before I had your counsell therein, I am now come to tellyou, the just reason of my anger, and full purpose to avoid all furthermolestation.
Your friend I cannot terme him, but (questionles) a very divel of hell.This morning, before the breake of day, having heard (but how, I knownot) that my husband was ridden to _Geneway_: got over the wall into myGarden, and climbing up a tree which standeth close before my chamberwindow, when I was fast asleepe, opened the Casement, and would haveentred in at the window. But, by great good fortune, I awaked, and madeshew of an open out-cry: but that he entreated mee, both for Gods sakeand yours, to pardon him this error, and never after he would presumeany more to offend me. When he saw, that (for your sake) I was silent,he closed fast the window againe, departed as he came, and since Inever saw him, or heard any tidings of him. Now judge you, holy Father,whether these be honest courses, or no, and to be endured by any civilGentlewoman; neither would I so patiently have suffered this, but onelyin my dutifull reverence to you.
The Ghostly Father hearing this, became the sorrowfullest man in theworld, not knowing how to make her any answer, but only demanded ofher divers times, whether she knew him so perfectly, that she did notmistake him for some other? Quoth she, I would I did not know him fromany other. Alas deere daughter (replied the Frier) what can more besayd in this case, but that it was over-much boldnesse, and very ildone; & thou shewedst thy selfe a worthy wise woman, in sending himaway so mercifully, as thou didst. Once more I would entreat thee(deare and vertuous daughter) seeing grace hath hitherto kept theefrom dishonour, and twice already thou hast credited my counsell, letme now advise thee this last time. Spare speech, or complaining to anyother of thy friends, and leave it to me, to try if I can overcomethis unchained divel, whom I tooke to be a much more holy man. If Ican recall him from this sensuall appetite, I shall account my labourwell employed; but if I cannot do it, henceforward (with my blessedbenediction) I give thee leave to do, even what thy heart will besttutor thee to. You see Sir (said shee) what manner of man he is, yetwould I not have you troubled or disobeyed, only I desire to livewithout disturbance, which work (I beseech you) as best you may: forI promise you, good Father, never to solicite you more uppon thisoccasion: And so, in a pretended rage, shee returned backe from theghostly Father.
Scarsely was she gone forth of the Church, but in commeth the manthat had (supposedly) so much transgressed; and the Fryer taking himaside, gave him the most injurious words that could be used to a man,calling him disloyall, perjured, and a traitor. Hee who had formerlytwice perceived, how high the holy mans anger mounted, did nothing butexpect what he wold say; and, like a man extreamly perplexed, strovehow to get it from him, saying; Holy Father, how come you to be soheinously offended? What have I done to incense you so strangely? Hearemee dishonest wretch answered the Frier, listen what I shall say untothee. Thou answerest me, as if it were a yeare or two past, since sofoule abuses were by thee committed, & they almost quite out of thyremembrance. But tell me wicked man, where wast thou this morning,before breake of the day? Wheresoever I was, replyed the Gentleman,mee thinkes the tidings come very quickly to you. It is true, said theFrier, they are speedily come to me indeed, and upon urgent necessity.
After a little curbing in of his wrath, somewhat in a milder strain,thus he proceeded. Because the Gentlewomans husband is journeyed to_Geneway_, proves this a ladder to your hope, that to embrace her inyour armes, you must climbe over the Garden wall, like a treacherousrobber in the night season, mount up a tree before her Chamber window,open the Casement, as hoping to compasse that by importunity, which herspotlesse chastity will never permit. There is nothing in the world,that possibly she can hate more then you, and yet you will love herwhether she will or no. Many demonstrations her selfe hath made toyou, how retrograde you are to any good conceit of her, & my lovingadmonishments might have had better successe in you, then as yet theyshewe by outward apparance. But one thing I must tell you, her silentsufferance of your injuries all this while, hath not bin in any respectof you, but at my earnest entreaties, and for my sake. But now sheewill be patient no longer, and I have given her free license, if everheereafter you offer to attempt her any more, to make her complaintbefore her Brethren, which will redound to your no meane danger.
The Gentleman, having wisely collected his Love-lesson out of the HolyFathers angry words, pacified the good old man so wel as he could withvery solemne promises and protestations, that he should heare (nomore) any misbehaviour of his. And being gone from him, followed theinstructions given in her complaint, by climbing over the Garden Wall,ascending the Tree, and entering at the Casement, standing ready opento welcome him. Thus the Friers simplicity, wrought on by her mostingenuous subtiltie, made way to obtaine both their longing desires.