_A lustie youthfull Priest of_ Varlungo, _fell in love with a prettywoman, named_ Monna Belcolore. _To compasse his amorous desire, heelefte his Cloake (as a pledge of further payment) with her. By asubtile sleight afterward, he made meanes to borrow a Morter of her,which when hee sent home againe in the presence of her Husband; hedemaunded to have his Cloake sent him, as having left it in pawne forthe Morter. To pacifie her Husband, offended that shee did not lendthe Priest the Morter without a pawne: she sent him backe his Cloakeagaine, albeit greatly against her will._
The Second Novell.
_Approving, that no promise is to be kept with such Women as will makesale of their honesty for coyne. A warning also for men, not to sufferPriests to be over familiar with their wives._
Both the Gentlemen and Ladies gave equall commendations, of_Gulfardoes_ queint beguiling the _Millaine_ Gentlewoman _Ambrosia_,and wishing all other (of her minde) might alwaies be so served. Thenthe Queene, smiling on _Pamphilus_, commaunded him to follow next:whereupon, thus he began.
I can tell you (faire Ladies) a short Novell, against such as arecontinually offensive to us, yet we being no way able to offend him;at least, in the same manner as they do injurie us. And for your betterunderstanding what and who they be, they are our lusty Priests, whoadvance their Standard, and make their publike predications againstour wives, winning such advantage over them, that they can pardon themboth of the sinne and punishment, whensoever they are once subjectedunto theyr perswasions, even as if they brought the Soldane bound andcaptived, from _Alexandria_ to _Avignon_. Which imperious power, we(poore soules) cannot exercise on them, considering, we have neitherheart nor courage, to do our devoire in just revenge on their Mothers,Sisters, Daughters, and Friends, with the like spirit as they rise inarmes against our wives. And therefore, I meant to tell you a tale ofa Country mans wife, more to make you laugh at the conclusion thereof;then for any singularity of words or matter: yet this benefite you maygaine thereby, of an apparant proofe that such Sinamon, amorous andperswading Priests, are not alwayes to be credited on their words orpromises.
Let me then tell you, that at _Varlungo_, which you know to bee notfarre distant hence, there dwelt an youthfull Priest, lustie, gallant,and proper of person (especially for Womens service) commonly calledby the name of sweet Sir _Simon_. Now, albeit he was a man of slenderreading, yet notwithstanding, he had store of Latine sentences byheart; some true, but twice so many maimed and false, Saint-likeshewes, holy speeches, and ghostly admonitions, which hee would preachunder an Oake in the fields, when he had congregated his Parishionerstogether. When women lay in childe-bed, hee was their daily comfortablevisitant, and would man them from their houses, when they had anyoccasion to walke abroad: carrying alwaies a bottle of holy water abouthim, wherewith he would sprinkle them by the way, peeces of hallowedCandles, and Chrisome Cakes, which pleased women extraordinarily, andall the Country affoorded not such another frolicke Priest, as this ournimble and active sweet Sir _Simon_.
Among many other of his feminine Parishioners, all of them beinghansome and comely Women: yet there was one more pleasing in his wantoneye, then any of the rest, named _Monna Belcolore_, and wife to aplaine mecanicke man, called _Bentivegna del Mazzo_. And, to speakeuprightly, few Countrey Villages yeelded a Woman, more fresh and lovelyof complexion, although not admirable for beauty, yet sweete Sir_Simon_ thought her a Saint, and faine would be offering at her shrine.Divers prety pleasing qualities she had, as sounding the Cymball,playing artificially on the Timbrill, and singing thereto as it hadbeene a Nightingale, dancing also so dexteriously, as happy was theman that could dance in her company. All which so enflamed sweet Sir_Simon_, that he lost his wonted sprightly behaviour, walked sullen,sad and melancholly, as if he had melted all his mettall, because heecould hardly have a sight of her. But on the Sonday morning, when heeheard or knew that she was in the Church, hee would tickle it with a_Kyrie_ and a _Sanctus_, even as if hee contended to shewe his singularskill in singing, when it had beene as good to heare an Asse bray.Whereas on the contrary, when she came not to Church, Masse, and allelse were quicklie shaken uppe, as if his devotion waited onely onher presence. Yet he was so cunning in the carriage of his amorousbusinesse, both for her credite and his owne; as _Bentivegna_ herhusband could not perceive it, or any neighbour so much as suspect it.
But, to compasse more familiar acquaintance with _Belcolore_, hee senther sundry gifts and presents, day by day, as sometime a bunch ofdainty greene Garlicke, whereof he had plenty growing in his Garden,which he manured with his owne hands, and better then all the countreyyeelded; otherwhiles a small basket of Pease or Beanes, and Onyons orScallions, as the season served. But when he could come in place whereshe was; then he darted amourous wincks and glances at her, with becks,nods, and blushes, Loves private Ambassadours, which shee (being butcountrey-bred) seeming by outward appearance, not to see, retorteddisdainefully, and forthwith would absent her selfe, so that sweet Sir_Simon_ laboured still in vaine, and could not compasse what he coveted.
It came to passe within a while after, that on a time, (abouthigh noone) Sir _Simon_ being walking abroad, chanced to meetewith _Bentivegna_, driving an Asse before him, laden with diverscommodities, and demaunding of him, whither he went, _Bentivegna_, thusanswered. In troth Sir _Simon_, I am going to the City, about someespeciall businesse of mine owne, and I carry these things to Signior_Bonacorci da Cinestreto_, because he should helpe me before the Judge,when I shall be called in question concerning my patrimony. Sir _Simon_looking merrily on him, said. Thou doest well _Bentivegna_, to make afriend sure before thou need him; goe, take my blessing with thee, andreturne againe with good successe. But if thou meet with _Laguccio_,or _Naldino_, forget not to tell them, that they must bring me myshooe-tyes before Sunday. _Bentivegna_ said, hee would discharge hiserrand, and so parted from him, driving his Asse on towards _Florence_.
Now began Sir _Simon_ to shrug, and scratch his head, thinking thisto be a fit convenient time, for him to goe visite _Belcolore_, andto make triall of his fortune: wherefore, setting aside all otherbusinesse, he stayed no where till he came to the house, whereintobeing entred, he saide: All happinesse be to them that dwell heere._Belcolore_ being then above in the Chamber, when she heard his tongue,replyed. Sweet Sir _Simon_! you are heartely welcome, whether are youwalking, if the question may bee demaunded? Beleeve me dainty Ducke,answered Sir _Simon_, I am come to sit a while with thee, because I metthy Husband going to the Citie. By this time, _Belcolore_ was descendeddowne the stayres, and having once againe given welcome to Sir _Simon_,she sate downe by him, cleansing of Colewort seeds from such othercourse chaffe, which her Husband had prepared before his departure.
Sir _Simon_ hugging her in his armes, and fetching a vehement sigh,said. My _Belcolore_, how long shall I pine and languish for thy love?How now Sir _Simon_? answered she, is this behaviour fitting for anholy man? Holy-men _Belcolore_, (quoth Sir _Simon_) are made of thesame matter as others be, they have the same affections, and thereforesubject to their infirmities. Santa Maria, answered _Belcolore_, DarePriests doe such things as you talke of? Yes _Belcolore_ (quoth he) andmuch better then other men can, because they are made for the very bestbusinesse, in which regard they are restrained from marriage. True(quoth _Belcolore_) but much more from medling with other mens wives.Touch not that Text _Belcolore_, replyed Sir _Simon_, it is somewhatabove your capacity: talke of that I come for, namely thy love, myDucke, and my Dove. Sir _Simon_ is thine, I pray thee be mine.
_Belcolore_ observing his smirking behaviour, his proper person, prettytalke, and queint insinuating; felt a motion to female frailty, whichyet she would withstand so long as she could, and not be over-hasty inher yeelding. Sir _Simon_ promiseth her a new paire of shoes, garters,ribbands, girdles, or what else she would request. Sir _Simon_ (quothshe) all these things which you talke of, are fit for women: but ifyour love to mee be such as you make choice of, fulfill what I willmotion to you, and then (perhaps) I shall tell you more. Sir _Simons_heate made him
hasty to promise whatsoever she would desire; whereupon,thus shee replyed. On Saturday, said she, I must goe to _Florence_,to carry home such yarne as was sent me to spinne, and to amend myspinning wheele: if you will lend mee ten Florines, wherewith I knowyou are alwayes furnished, I shall redeeme from the Usurer my bestpetticote,** and my wedding gowne (both well neere lost for lacke ofrepaiment) without which I cannot be seene at Church, or in any othergood place else, and then afterward other matters may be accomplished.
Alas sweet _Belcolore_ answered Sir _Simon_, I never beare any suchsum about me, for men of our profession, doe seldome carry any moneyat all: but beleeve me on my word, before Saturday come, I will notfaile to bring them hither. Oh Sir (quoth _Belcolore_) you men arequicke promisers, but slow performers. Doe you thinke to use me, aspoore _Billezza_ was, who trusted to as faire words, and found herselfe deceived? Now Sir _Simon_, her example in being made scandall tothe world, is a sufficient warning for me: if you be not so provided,goe and make use of your friend, for I am not otherwise to be moved.Nay _Belcolore_ (quoth he) I hope you will not serve me so, but myword shall be of better worth with you. Consider the conveniency oftime, wee being so privately here alone: whereas at my returning hitheragaine, some hinderance may thwart me, and the like opportunity benever obtained. Sir, Sir, (said she) you have heard my resolution;if you will fetche the Florines, doe; otherwise, walke about yourbusinesse, for I am a woman of my word.
Sir _Simon_ perceiving, that she would not trust him upon bare words,nor any thing was to be done, without _Salvum me fac_, whereas hismeaning was _Sine custodia_; thus answered. Well _Belcolore_, seeingyou dare not credit my bringing the tenne Florines, according to mypromised day: I will leave you a good pawne, my very best cloake, lynedquite thorough with rich Silke, and made up in the choysest manner.
_Belcolore_ looking on the Cloake, said. How much may this Cloake beeworth? How much? quoth Sir _Simon_, upon my word _Belcolore_, it isof a right fine Flanders Serdge, and not above eight dayes since, Ibought it thus (ready made) of _Lotto_ the Fripperer, and payed for itsixe and twenty Florines, a pledge then sufficient for your ten. Is itpossible, said shee, that it should cost so much? Well, Sir _Simon_,deliver it me first, I will lay it up safe for you against Saturday,when if you fetch it not; I will redeeme mine owne things with it, andleave you to release it your selfe.
The Cloake is laid up by _Belcolore_, and Sir _Simon_ so forward in hisaffection; that (in briefe) he enjoyed what hee came for; and departedafterward in his light tripping Cassocke, but yet thorow by-Lanes,and no much frequented places, smelling on a Nosegay, as if hee hadbeene at some wedding in the Countrey, and went thus lightly withouthis Cloake, for his better ease. As commonly after actions of evill,Repentance knocketh at the doore of Conscience, and urgeth a guiltyremembrance, with some sence of sorrow: so was it now with sweet Sir_Simon_, who survaying over all his Vailes of offering Candles, thevalidity of his yearely benefits, and all comming nothing neere thesumme of (scarce halfe) sixe and twenty Florines; he began to repenthis deed of darkenesse, although it was acted in the day-time, andconsidered with himselfe, by what honest (yet unsuspected meanes) heemight recover his Cloake againe, before it went to the Broaker, inredemption of _Belcolores_ pawned apparrell, and yet to send her noFlorines neither.
Having a cunning reaching wit, especially in matters for his owneadvantage, and pretending to have a dinner at his lodging, for a fewof some invited friends: he made use of a neighbours Boy, sending himto the house of _Belcolore_, with request of lending him her StoneMorter, to make Greene-sawce in for his guests, because hee had meaterequired such sawce. _Belcolore_ suspecting no treachery, sent him theStone Morter with the Pestell, and about dinner time, when he knew_Bentivegna_ to bee at home with his wife, by a spye which was set forthe purpose; hee called the Clearke (usually attending on him) andsaid. Take this Morter and Pestell, beare them home to _Belcolore_,and tell her: Sir _Simon_ sends them home with thankes, they havingsufficiently served his turne, and desire her likewise, to send me myCloake, which the Boy left as a pledge for better remembrance, andbecause she would not lend it without a pawne.
The Clearke comming to the house of _Belcolore_, found her sitting atdinner with her Husband, and delivering her the Pestell and Morter,performed the rest of Sir _Simons_ message. _Belcolore_ hearing theCloake demaunded, stept up to make answere: But _Bentivegna_, seeming(by his lookes) to be much offended, roughly replyed. Why how now wife?Is not Sir _Simon_ our especiall friend, and cannot be be pleasuredwithout a pawne? I protest upon my word, I could find in my heart tosmite thee for it. Rise quickely thou wert best, and send him backe hisCloake; with this warning hereafter, that whatsoever he will have, beit your poore Asse, or any thing else being ours, let him have it: andtell him (Master Clearke) he may command it. _Belcolore_ rose grumblingfrom the Table, and fetching the Cloake forth of the Chest, which stoodneere at hand in the same roome; shee delivered it to the Clearke,saying. Tell Sir _Simon_ from me, and boldly say you heard me speakeit: that I made a vow to my selfe, he shall never make use of my Morterhereafter, to beat any more of his sawcinesse in, let my Husband saywhatsoever he will, I speake the word, and will performe it.
Away went the Clearke home with the Cloake, and told Sir _Simon_ whatshe had said, whereto he replyed. If I must make use of her Morter nomore; I will not trust her with the keeping of my Cloake, for feare itgoe to gage indeed.
_Bentivegna_ was a little displeased at his wives words, because heethought she spake but in jest; albeit _Belcolore_ was so angry with Sir_Simon_, that she would not speake to him till vintage time following.But then Sir _Simon_, what by sharpe threatenings of her soule to bein danger of hell fire, continuing so long in hatred of a holy Priest,which words did not a little terrifie her; besides daily presents toher, of sweet new Wines, roasted Chesse-nuts, Figges and Almonds: allunkindnesse became converted to former familiarity; the garments wereredeemed; he gave her Sonnets which she would sweetly sing to herCimbale, and further friendship increased betweene her and sweet Sir_Simon._