_Maestro_ Simone, _an ydle-headed Doctor of Physicke, was throwne by_Bruno _and_ Buffalmaco, _into a common Leystall of Filth: The Physitianfondly beleeving, that (in the night time) he should bee made one of anew created Company, who usually went to see wonders, at_ Corsica; _andthere in the Leystall they left him._
The Ninth Novell.
_Wherein is approved, that Titles of Honour, Learning, and Dignity, arenot alwayes bestowne on the wisest men._
After that the Ladies had a while considered, on the communicationbetweene the two Wives of _Sienna_, and the falshood in friendship oftheir Husbands: the Queene, who was the last to recount her Novell,without offering injurie to _Dioneus_, began to speake thus.
The reward for a precedent Wrong committed, which _Zeppa_ retorted upon_Spinelloccio_, was answerable to his desert, and no more then equityrequired, in which respect, I am of opinion, that such men ought not tobe over-sharpely reproved, as do injurie to him, who seeketh for it,and justly should have it, althogh Madam _Pampinea_ (not long since)avouched the contrary. Now, it evidently appeareth, that _Spinelloccio_well deserved what was done to him, and I purpose to speake of another,who needs would seeke after his owne disgrace. The rather to confirmemy former speeches, that they which beguile such wilfull foolish men;are not to bee blamed, but rather commended. And he unto whom the shamewas done, was a Physitian, which came from _Bologna_ to _Florence_; andreturned thither againe like unto a Beast, notoriously baffulled anddisgraced.
It is a matter well knowne to us, and (almost) observed day by day,that divers of our Citizens, when they returne from their studyingat _Bologna_: one becommeth an Advocate, another a Physitian, and athird a Notarie, with long & large gowns, some of Scarlet, and hoodsfurred with Minever, beside divers other great apparances, succeedingeffectually daily in their severall kinds. Among whom, there returned(not long since) thence, one Master _Simon da Villa_, more rich inpossessions left him by his parents, then anie knowledge theretoobtained: yet cloathed in Scarlet, with his Miniver hood, and styleda Doctor of Physicke, which title hee onely bestowed on himselfe, andtooke a goodly house for his dwelling, in the street which wee commonlycall _La via del Cocomero_. This Master Doctor _Simon_, being thusnewly come thither, among other notable qualities in him, had one moreespecial then any of the rest, namely, to know the names and conditionsof such persons, as daily passed by his doore, and what professionsthey were of, whereby any likelyhood might be gathered of needing hishelpe, and being his patients, observing them all with very vigilantcare.
But, among all the rest by him thus warily noted, he most observedtwo Painters, of whom we have heeretofore twice discoursed, _Bruno_and _Buffalmaco_, who walked continually together, and were his neeredwelling neighbours. The matter which most of al he noted in them,was; that they lived merrily, and with much lesse care, then any elsein the Cittie beside, and verily they did so in deede. Wherefore, hedemanded of divers persons, who had good understanding of them both,of what estate and condition they were. And hearing by every one,that they were but poore men & Painters: he greatly mervailed, how itcould be possible for them, that they should live so jocondly, and insuch poverty. It was related to him further beside, that they weremen of a quicke and ingenious apprehension, whereby hee politikelyimagined, that theyr poore condition could not so well maintaine them;without some courses else, albeit not publiquely knowne unto men, yetredounding to their great commoditie and profite. In which regard, hegrew exceeding desirous, by what meanes he might become** acquainted, andgrow into familiarity with them both, or any of them, at the least;wherein (at the length) he prevailed, and _Bruno_ proved to be the man.
Now _Bruno_ plainly perceiving (within a short while of this newbegun acquaintance) that the Physitian was a Logger-head, and meerelyno better then a _Gregorian_ Animall: he beganne to have much goodpastime with him, by telling him strange and incredible Tales, suchas none but a Coxcombe would give credit too; yet they delightedDoctor Dunce extraordinarily, and _Brunoes_ familiarity was so highlypleasing to him, that he was a daily guest at dinner and supper withhim, and hee was not meanly proud of enjoying his company. One day,as they sate in familiar conference together, he told _Bruno_ that hewondred not a little at him and _Buffalmaco_, they being both so poorepeople, yet lived far more jovially then Lords, and therefore desiredto understand, by what secret meanes they compassed such mirthfullmaintenance. _Bruno_, hearing the Doctors demaund, & perceiving that itfavoured more of the foole, then any the very least taste of wisedome:smiled unto himselfe, and determined to returne him such an answere, asmight be fitting for his folly, whereupon, thus he replied.
Beleeve me Master Doctor, I would not impart to many people, whatprivate helpes we have for our maintenance: but yet I dare boldlyacquaint you therewith, in regard you are one of our most intimatefriends, and of such secrecie, as (I know) you will not reveale it toany. True it is, that mine honest neighbour and my selfe, do leade ourlives in such merry manner as you see, and better then all the worldis aware of, for I cannot imagine you to bee so ignorant, but arecertainly perswaded: that if we had no better means, then our pooremanuall trade and profession; we might sit at home with bread andwater, and be nothing so lively spirited as wee are. Yet Sir, I wouldnot have you to conceive, that wee do eyther rob or steale, or use anyother unlawfull courses: onely we travayle to _Corsica_, from whence webring (without the least prejudice to anie other) all things we standin need of, or whatsoever wee can desire. Thus do we maintaine ourselves well and honestly, and live in this mirthfull disposition.
Master Doctor hearing this Discourse, and beleeving it constantly,without any further instruction or intelligence: became possessed withverie much admiration, and had the most earnest desire in the world, toknow what this Travailing to _Corsica_ might meane: entreating _Bruno_with very great instances, to tell him what it was, and made manyprotestations never to disclose it to anie one. How now Master Doctor?answered _Bruno_, What a strange motion do you make to mee? It is toogreat a secret, which you desire to know, yea, a matter of mine owneruine, and an utter expulsion out of this Worlde, with condemnationinto the mouth of _Lucifer da San Gallo_, if any man whatsoever shouldknow it from me, wherefore I pray you to urge it no more. O my deer andhonest neighbour _Bruno_ (quoth the Doctor) assure thy selfe upon mysoul, that whatsoever thou revealest to me, shall be under seale fromall, but onely our selves. Fie, fie Master Doctor, answered _Bruno_,you are too pressing and importunate. So sitting smiling to himselfe,shaking his head, and beating his breast, as if hee were in somestraunge distraction of minde, stamping with his feete, and beating hisFiste oftentimes on the Table, at last he started uppe, and spake inthis manner.
Ah Master Doctor, the love I beare to your capricious and rarelycircumcised experience, and likewise the confidence I repose in yourscrutinous taciturnitie, are both of such mighty and prevailing power;as I cannot conceale any thing from you, which you covet to know. Andtherefore, if you will sweare unto me by the crosse of _Monteson_, thatnever (as you have already faithfully promised) you will disclose asecret so admirable; I will relate it unto you, and not otherwise. TheDoctor sware, and sware againe, and then _Bruno_ thus began.
Know then my learned and judicious Doctor, that it is not long timesince, when there lived in this Citie of ours, a man very excellent inthe Art of Nigromancie, who named himselfe _Michale Scoto_, because hewas a Scottishman borne, of many woorthy Gentlemen (very few of thembeing now living) hee was much honoured and respected. When he grewdesirous to depart from hence, upon their earnest motion and entreaty;he left here two of his Schollers behinde him, men of absolute skilland experience: giving them especial charge and command, to do allpossible services they could devise, for those Gentlemen who had sohighly honoured him. The two famous Schollers, were very helpefull tothose Gentlemen, in divers of their amorous occasions, and verie manyother matters besides.
Not long after, they finding the Citie, and behaviour of the peoplesufficiently pleasing to them; they resolved on their continuanceheere, entering int
o a league of love and friendshippe with divers,never regarding, whether they were Gentlemen, or no, or distinguishingthe poore from the rich: but only in being conforme to theircomplexions, sociable and fit for friendship.
They created a kinde Society, consisting of about five and twenty men,who should meete together twice in a moneth, & in a place reputedconvenient for them: where being so assembled, every man uttered hisminde to those two Schollers, in such cases as they most desired, tohave wherewith they were all satisfied the self-same night. It came soto passe, that _Buffalmaco_ and I, grew into acquaintance with thosetwo worthy Schollers, and our private familiarity together provedso prosperous, that we were admitted into the same Society, and sohave ever since continued. Now Sir, I am to tell you matter deservingadmiration, & which (in very good judgements) would seeme to exceed allbeleefe.
For, at every time when we were assembled together: you are not ableto imagine, what sumptuous hangings of Tapistrie, did adorne the Hallwhere we sate at meate, the Tables covered in such Royall manner,waited on by numberlesse Noble and goodly attendants, both Women andMen, serving readily, at each mans command of the company. The Basins,Ewers, Pots, Flaggons, & all the vessels else which stood before, andfor the service of our diet, being composed onely of Gold and Silver,and out of no worse did we both eate and drinke: the viands being veryrare and dainty, abounding in plenty and variety, according to theappetite of everie person, as nothing could be wished for, but it wasinstantly obtained.
In good sadnesse Sir, I am not able to remember and tell you (withinthe compasse of a thousand yeares) what, and how manie severallkindes of Musicall Instruments, were continually played on before us;what multiplicity of Waxe lights burned in all partes of the roomes;neither the excessive store of rich Drugs, Marchpanes, Comfites, andrare Banquetting stuffe, consumed there at one Feasting, wherein therewanted no bounty of the best and purest wines. Nor do I (Master Doctor)repute you so weakly witted, as to think, that in the time of ourbeing thus assembled there, any of us al were cloathed in such simpleand meane Garments, as ordinarily are worne in the streets on mensbodies, or any so silly as the verie best you have: No Sir, not any oneman among us, but appeared by his apparrell, equall to the greatestEmperour on the earth, his robe most sumptuously imbroidered withprecious stones, Pearles, and Carbuncles, as all the world affoordethnot the like. But above all the rest, the delights and pleasures there,are beyond my capacity to expresse, or (indeede) any comparison: asnamely, store of goodly and beautifull women, brought thither from allparts of the world; alwayes provided, if men bee desirous of theircompany: but for your easier comprehension, I will make some brieferelation of them to you, according as I heard them there named.
There is the great Lady of _Barbanicchia_; the Queene of _Baschia_;the Wife to the great _Soldane_, the Empresse of _Osbeccho_; the_Ciancianfera_ of _Norniera_; the _Bemistante_ of _Berlinzona_;** and the_Scalpedra_ of _Narsia_. But why do I breake my braine, in numbering upso many to you? All the Queenes of the world are there, even so farreas to the _Schinchimurra_ of _Prester John_, that hath a horne in themidst of her posteriores, albeit not visible to every eye.
Now I am further to tell you, that after we have tasted a Cup ofprecious Wine, fed on a few delicate Comfits, and danced a dance or twoto the rare Musicke: every one taketh a Lady by the hand, of whom hepleaseth to make his election, and she conducteth him to her Chamber,in very grave and gracious manner. Concerning the Chambers there,each of them resembleth a Paradise to looke on, they are so faire andgoodly; and no lesse odorifferous in smell, then the sweetest perfumesin your Apothecaries shoppes, or the rare compounds of Spices, whenthey are beaten in an open Morter. And as for the Beds, they areinfinitely richer, then the verie costliest belonging to the Duke of_Venice_: yet (in such) each man is appointed to take his rest, theMusicke of rare Cymbals lasting all night long, much better to be byyou considered, then in my rude eloquence expressed.
But of all those rich and sumptuous Beds (if pride of mine owneopinion do not deceive me) them two provided for _Buffalmaco_ and me,had hardly any equall: he having the Queene of _France_ as his Ladyand Mistresse, and I, the renowned Queene of _England_, the onelytwo choise beauties of the whole World, and wee appeared so pleasingin their eyes, as they would have refused the greatest Monarkes onthe earth, rather then to bee rejected by us. Now therefore, you mayeasily consider with your selfe, what great reason we have to live moremerrily, then any other men can doe: in regard we enjoy the graciousfavour of two such Royall Queenes, receyving also from them (whensoeverwee please to commaund them) a thousand or two thousand Florines at theleast, which are both truly and duly sent us. Enjoying thus the benefitof this high happinesse, we that are companions of this Society, dotearme it in our vulgar Language, _The Pyrats voyage to Corsica_.Because, as Rovers or Pyrats robbe and take away the goodes of such asthey meete withall, even so do we: only there remaineth this differencebetweene us, that they never restore what they have taken: which we doimmediately afterward, whether it be required or no. And thus MasterDoctor, as to my most endeered friend, I have now revealed the meaningof sayling to _Corsica_, after the manner of our private Pyracie,and how important the close retention of the voiage is, you are bestable your selfe to judge: In which regarde, remember your Oathes andfaithfull promises, or else I am undone forever.
Our worthy wise Doctor, whose best skill scarsely extended so farre, asto cure the itch in Children; gave such sound beleefe to the relationof _Bruno_, as any man could doe, to the most certaine truth of life ordeath: having his desire immeasurably enflamed, to bee made a member ofthis straunge Societie, which hee more coveted, then any thing in theworld beside, accounting it a felicity farre beyond all other.
Whereupon he answered _Bruno_, that it was no great matter of mervaile,if he lived so merrily as he did, having such a singular supply, toavoide all necessities whatsoever: and very hardly could he refrainefrom immediate request, to be accepted into the company. But yet hethought fit to deferre it further, untill he had made _Bruno_ morebeholding to him, by friendly entertainments and other courtesies, whenhe might (with better hope) be bold to move the motion.
Well may you conceive, that nothing more hammerd in the Doctors head,then this rare voyage to _Corsica_, and _Bruno_ was his daily guestat dinner and supper, with such extraordinary apparances of kindnesseand courtesie, as if the Physitian could not live, except he had thecompany of _Bruno_. Who seeing himselfe to bee so lovingly respected,and hating ingratitude, for favours so abundantly heaped on him:hee painted the whole story of Lent about his Hall, and an _AgnusDei_ fairely gilt, on the portall of his Chamber, as also a goodlyUrinall on his street doore, to the end, that such as had neede of hiscounsell, might know where so judicious a Doctour dwelt. In a Gallerylikewise by his Garden, he painted the furious Battaile betweene theRats and Cats, which did (not a little) delight Master Doctor.
Moreover, at such times as Bruno had not supt with our Physitian, hewould bee sure to tell him on the morrow, that the night passed, hehad bin with the Company which he did wot of. And there (quoth he) theQueene of _England_ having somewhat offended mee, I commanded, thatthe _Gomedra_, belonging to the _Grand Cham_ of _Tartaria_, shouldbe brought me, and instantly shee was. What may be the meaning of_Gomedra_ be? saide the Doctor, I understand not those difficult names.I beleeve you Sir, answered _Bruno_, nor do I need to marvaile thereat:and yet I have heard _Porcograsso_ speake, and also _Vannacenna_, andboth unexperienced in our Language. You would say (replyed the Doctour)_Hippocrates_ and _Avicenna_, who were two admirable Physitians. It maybe so (said _Bruno_) & as hardly do I understand your names, as youmine: but _Gomedra_, in the _Grand Chams_ language, signifies Empressein ours. But had you once seene her Sir, she would make you forgetall Physicall observations, your arguments, receits and medicines,onely to be in her heavenly presence, which words he used (perceivinghis forward longing) to enflame him the more. Not long after, as thedoctor was holding the candle to _Bruno_, at the perfecting the bloodyBattayle of the Cattes and Rattes, be
cause he could never bee weariedin his Companie, and therefore was the more willing, to undergoe theoffice of the Candle-holder: he resolved to acquaint him with hisminde, and being all alone by themselves, thus he began.
_Bruno_, as heaven knoweth, there is not this day any creature living,for whom I would gladly do more, then for thee, and the very least wordof thy mouth, hath power to commaund mee to goe bare-footed, even fromhence so farre as to _Peretola_, and account my labour well employedfor thy sake: wherefore, never wonder at my continuall kindnessetowards thee, using thee as my Domesticke companion, and embracingthee as my bosome friend, and therefore I am the bolder in mooving onerequest unto thee. As thou well knowest, it is no long while since,when thou diddest acquaint me with the behaviour of the _Corsicane_Roving Company, to be one in so rare and excellent a Society, such hathbin my earnest longing ever since, as day nor night have I enjoyed anierest, but should thinke my felicity beyond all compare, if I could beentertained in fellowship among you.
Nor is this desire of mine but upon great occasion, as thou thy selfeshalt perceive, if I prove accepted into your Societie, and let me thenbe made a mocking stocke for ever, if I cause not to come thither, oneof the most delicate young women, that ever anie eye beheld, and whichI my selfe saw (not above a yeare since) at _Cacavinciglia_, on whom Ibestowed my intirest affection, and (by the best Urinall that ever Igazed on) would have given her tenne faire _Bologninaes_, to yeeld thematter I moved to her, which yet I could not (by any meanes) compasse.Therefore, with all the flowing faculties of my soule I entreatethee, and all the very uttermost of my all indeede; to instruct mein those wayes and meanes, whereby I may hope to be a member of you.Which if thou dooest accomplish for me, and I may finde it effectuallyperformed: I shall not onely be thy true and loyall friend for ever,but will honour thee beside, beyond all men living.
I know thee to bee a man of judgement, deepely informed in allwell-grounded experience: thou seest what a propper, portly, and comelyman I am, how fitly my legges are answerable to my body, my lookesamiable, lovely, and of Rosie colour; beside I am a Doctor of Physicke,of which profession (being only most expedient) I thinke you have notone in your Society. I have many commendable qualities in me, as,playing on divers instruments, exquisite in singing, and composing rareditties, whereof I will instantly sing thee one. And so he began tosing.
_Bruno_ was swolne so bigge with desire of laughter, that hee hadscarsely any power to refraine from it: neverthelesse, he made thebest meanes he could devise: and the Song being ended, the Physitionsaide. How now _Bruno_? What is thine Opinion of my singing? Beleeveme Sir, replyed _Bruno_, the Vialles of _Sagginali_, will loose theirvery best tunes, in contending against you, so mirilifficially are thesweet accents of your voice heard. I tell thee truly _Bruno_ (answeredMaster Doctor) thou couldst not by any possibility have beleeved it, ifthou hadst not heard it. In good sadness Sir (said _Bruno_) you speakemost truly. I could (quoth the Doctor) sing thee infinite more beside,but at this time I must forbeare them. Let mee then further informethee _Bruno_, that beside the compleat perfections thou seest in me, myfather was a Gentleman, althogh he dwelt in a poore Country village,and by my mothers side, I am derived from them of _Vallecchio_.Moreover, as I have formerly shewn thee, I have a goodly Library ofBookes, yea, and so faire and costly garments, as few Physitians in_Florence_ have the like. I protest to thee upon my faith, I have onegowne, which cost me (in readie money) almost an hundred poundes in_Bagattinoes_, and it is not yet above ten yeares old. Wherefore letme prevaile with thee, good _Bruno_, to worke so with the rest of thyfriends, that I may bee one of your singular Society; and, by thehonest trust thou reposest in mee, bee boldly sick whensoever thouwilt, my paines and Physicke shall be freely thine, without the paymentof one single peny. _Bruno_ hearing his importunate words, and knowinghim (as all men else did beside) to be a man of more words then wit,saide. Master Doctor, snuffe the candle I pray you, and lend me alittle more light with it hitherward, until I have finished the tailesof these Rats, and then I will answer you.
When the Rats tailes were fully finished, _Bruno_ declaring by outwardbehaviour, that he greatly distasted the matter mooved, thus answered.Worthy Master Doctor, the courtesies you have already extended towardsme, and the bountifull favours promised beside, I know to be exceedinggreat, and farre beyond the compasse of any merit in me. But concerningyour request, albeit in respect of your admired braine and Wisedome, itis of little or no moment at all; yet it appeareth over-mighty to mee,and there is not any man now living in the world, that hath the likeAuthoritie over me, and can more commaund me, then you (with one pooresyllable) easily may doe: as well in regarde of my Love and Dutie, asalso your singular and sententious speeches, able not onelie to make mebreake a sound and setled resolution, but (almost) to move Mountainesout of their places, and the more I am in your Learned company, so muchthe faster am I lincked unto you, in immooveable affection, so farream I in love with your admirable qualities. And had I no other reason,to affect you in such endeared manner, as I doe; yet because you areenamoured of so rare a beauty, as you have already related to me, itonely were a motive sufficient to compell me. But indeed I must needstel you, that I have not so much power in this case, as you (perhaps)do imagine, which barreth me from such forward readines, as otherwiseneeded not to be urged. Neverthelesse, having so solemnly ingaged yourfaith to me, and no way misdoubting your faithfull secrecy, I shallinstruct you in some meanes to be observed; and it appeareth plainlyto me, that being furnished with such plenty of Bookes, as you are,and other rich endowments, as you have before rehersed, you cannot butattaine to the full period of your longing desire.
Speake boldly thy minde _Bruno_, answered the Doctour: for, I perceivethou hast no perfect knowledge of me as yet, neither what an especiallgift I have of secrecy. _Messer Gasparino da Salicete_, when he wasJudge and Potestat over the people of _Forlini_, made choise of mee(among infinite of his dearest friends) to acquaint with a secret of nomeane moment. And such a faithfull Secretary he found me, as I was theonely man, that knew his mariage with _Bergamino_; why then should anydistrust be made of me? If it be so as you say Sir (answered _Bruno_)your credit is the sounder, and I dare the better adventure on yourfidelity: the meanes then which you are to worke by, I shall now directyou in.
We have alwayes in this noble Society of ours, a Captaine, and twoCounsellors, which are changed at every six months end. And now atChristmas next (so neere drawing on) _Buffalmaco_ shall be electedCaptaine, and my selfe one of the Counsellers, for so it is alreadyagreed on, and orderly set downe. Now, he that is Captain, may doe muchmore then any other can, and appoint matters as himselfe pleaseth.Wherefore I thinke it very expedient, that so soone as possibly youmay, you procure acquaintance with _Buffalmaco_, entreating him withall respective courtesie. Hee is a man, who when he perceyveth youto be so wonderfully Wise and discreete, he will be immediatly inlove with you: so, when you have your best senses about you, and yourrichest wearing Garments on (alwayes remembred, that your acquaintancefirst be fully confirmed) then never feare to urge your request, for hecan have no power at all to denie you; because I have already spokenof you to him, and find him to stand affected unto you verie intirely:thus when you have begunne the businesse, leave me to deale with him inthe rest.
Now trust me kinde friend _Bruno_, replyed the Physitian, I like youradvice exceeding well. For, if hee be a man, that taketh delight toconverse with men of skill and judgement, and you have made the wayfor his knowing me: he will then thirst, and long to follow after mee,to understand the incredible eloquence flowing from me, and the rarecomposition of my Musicall Ditties, out of which he may learne no meanewisedome. When the matter was thus agreed on betweene them, _Bruno_departed thence, & acquainted _Buffalmaco_ with everie circumstance:which made him thinke everie day a yeare, untill he might joyne in thefooling of Mayster Doctour, according to his owne fancie. Who beeingalso as desirous on the other side, to make one in the _Corsicane_Voyage; could take no manner of rest either by day or nigh
t, till hewas linked in friendship with _Buffalmaco_, which very quickely afterhee compassed.
For now there wanted no costly dinners and suppers, with al delicatescould be devised, for the entertainement of _Buffalmaco_ and _Bruno_;who, like Guests very easie to be invited, where rich wines and goodcheare are never wanting, needed little sending for, because hishouse was as familiar to them, as their owne. In the end, when thePhysitian espyed an opportunitie apt for the purpose, he made the samerequest to _Buffalmaco_, as formerly hee had done to _Bruno_. Whereat_Buffalmaco_, sodainly starting, and looking frowningly on _Bruno_,as if he were extraordinarily incensed against him: clapping hishand furiously on the Table, he sayde. I sweare by the great God of_Pasignano_, that I can hardly refrayne from giving thee such a blow onthe face, as should make thy Nose to fall at thy heeles: vile Traitoras thou art: for none beside thy selfe, could discover so rare andexcellent a secret unto this famous Physitian. The Doctour, with verieplausible and pleasing tearmes, excused the matter verie artificially;protesting, that another had revealed it unto him: and after many wisecircumstantiall Allegations, at length hee prevailed so farre, that_Buffalmaco_ was pacified; who afterwardes turning in kinde manner,thus hee beganne.
Master Doctour, you have lived both at _Bologna_, and heere in thesepartes with us, having (no doubt) sufficiently understoode, what it isto carry a close mouth, I meane the true Charracter of taciturnitie.Questionlesse, you never learned the A. B. C. as now foolish Ideotsdo, blabbing their lessons all about the towne, which is much betterapprehended by rumination; and surely (if I be not much deceyved) yourNativity happened on a Sonday morning, Sol being at that time, Lord ofthe ascendent, joyned with _Mercurie_ in a fierie Triplicitie. By suchconference as I have had with _Bruno_, I conceyved (as he himselfe alsodid) that you were verie singular in Physicke onely: but it seemeth,your Studies reached a higher straine, for you have learned, and knowverie skilfullie, how to steale mens hearts from them, yea, to bereavethem of their verie soules, which I perceyve that you can farre betterdoe, then any man else living to my knowledge, only by your wise,witty, judicious, and more then meere _Mercurian_ eloquence, such as Inever heard before.
The Physitian interrupting him bashfully, turned himselfe unto _Bruno_,saying. Did not I tell thee this before? Observe what a notable thingit is, to speake well, and to frequent the company of the Wise. Athousand other, meerely blockes and dullardes by Nature, could neverso soone comprehend all the particularities of my knowledge, as thishonest and apprehensive man hath done. Thou didst not search into ithalfe so soone, nor (indeed) did I expresse a quarter of my ingenuityto thee, as (since his comming) hath prodigally flowne from me.
Well do I remember thy words, that _Buffalmaco_ delighted to be amongmen of Wisedome: and have I not now fitted him unto his owne desire?How thinkest thou _Bruno_? The best (quoth _Bruno_) that any man livingin the World could do. Ah worthy _Buffalmaco_, answered the Physitian:What wouldst thou then have sayde, if thou hadst seene me at _Bologna_,where there was neyther great nor small, Doctor nor Scholler, butthought themselves happy by being in my company? If I ought any debts,I discharged them with my very wittie words; and whensoever I spake,I could set them al on a hearty laughter, so much pleasure they tookein hearing mee. And when I departed thence, no men in the world couldbee more sorrowfull then they, as desiring nothing more then myremayning among them, which they expressed so apparantly, that theymade humble suite and intercession to me, to bee cheefe Reader of thePhysicke-Lecture, to all the Schollers studying our profession. But Icould not be so perswaded, because my minde was wholly addicted hither,to enjoy those Goods, Landes, and Inheritances, belonging lineally tothem of our house, and accordingly I did performe it.
How now _Buffalmaco_ (quoth _Bruno_) what is thine opinion now? Thouwouldst not beleeve me when I told thee, that there is not a Doctor inall these parts, more skilfull in distinguishing the Urine of an Asse,from any other, then this most expert and singular man: and I dareboldly maintaine it, that his fellow is not to bee found, from henceto the very gates of _Paris_. Go then, and doe the uttermost endeavourthat thou canst, to grant the request which he hath made.
Beleeve me _Buffalmaco_, saide the Doctor, _Bruno_ hath spoken nothingbut truth, for I am scarsely knowne heere in this City, where (forthe most part) they are all grosse-witted people, rather then any jotjudicious; but I would thou hadst seene me among the Doctors, in manneras I was wont to be. Introth Sire, replyed _Buffalmaco_, you are mymuch more Learned then ever I imagined, in which respect, speaking untoyou as it becommeth me, to a man so excellent in wit and understanding:I dare assure you that (without any faile) I will procure you to be oneof our Company.
After this promise thus made, the good cheare, favors and kindnessesdone by the Doctor to them, was beyond the compasse of all relation:whereof they made no more then a meere mockery, flouting him to hisface, and yet his Wisedome could not discerne it. Moreover, theypromised, that they would give him to Wife, the faire Countesse _diCivillari_, who was the onely goodliest creature to be found in thewhole _Culattario_ of humane generation. The Doctor demanded, whatCountesse that was? Oh Sir, answered _Buffalmaco_, she is a greatLady, one worthy to have issue by; and few houses are there in theworld, where she hath not some jurisdiction and command: so that notmeane people onely, but even the greatest Lords, at the sound of herTrumpets, do very gladlie pay her tribute. And I dare boldly affirme,that whensoever shee walketh to any place, shee yeeldeth a hot andsensible favour, albeit she keepeth most of all close. Yet once everynight, shee duely observeth it (as a Custome) to passe from her ownehouse, to bathe her feete in the River of _Arno_, and take a littleof the sweeter Ayre: albeit her continuall residencie, is within theKingdome of _Laterino_.
She seldome walketh abroad, but goeth with her attending Officers abouther, who (for more demonstration of her greatnesse) do carry the Rodand plummet of Lead. Store of her Lords and Barons are every where tobe seene; as the _Tamagaino della porta, Don Meta di Sirropa; Manico diScopa; Signior Squacchera,_ and others beside, who are (as I suppose)oftentimes your daily visitants, when of necessity they must beremembred. All our care and courtesie shall extend so farre (if we doenot faile in our enterprize) to leave you in the armes of so Majesticka Ladie, quite forgetting hir of _Cacavinciglia_.
The Physitian, who was borne and brought up at _Bologna_, and thereforeunderstoode not these _Florentine_ tearmes: became fully contentedto enjoy the Ladie; and, within some few dayes following, thePainters brought him tydings, that they had prepared the way for hisentertainment into the Societie of Rovers. The day being come, when thesupposed assembly was to be made the night following: the Physitianinvited them both to dinner; when he demanding, what provision he sholdmake for his entrance into their company, _Buffalmaco_ returned himthis answer, whereto he gave very heedfull attention.
Master Doctor, you must be first of all, strongly armed with resolutionand confidence: for if you be not, you may not only receyve hindrance,but also do us great harme beside: and now you shall heare, in whatmanner, and how you are to be bold and constant. You must procure themeanes, this instant night, when all the people are in their soundestsleepe, to stand upon one of those high exalted Tombs or Monuments,which are in the Churchyard of _Santa Maria Novella_, with the veryfairest gowne you have about you, because you may appeare in the morehonorable condition, before the assembly seated together, and likewiseto make good our speeches already delivered of you, concerning yourqualitie & profession: that the Countesse, perceyving you to bee awoorthie Gentlemen, may have you first honoured with the Bathe, andafterward Knighted at her owne cost and charge. But you must continuestill upon the Tombe (dreadlesse of nightly apparitions & visions)untill such time as we send for you.
And for your better information in every particulare; a Beast, blackeand horned, but of no great stature, will come to fetch you: perhaps hewill use some gastly noises, straunge leapes, and loftie trickes, onelyto terrifie and affright you: but when he perceiveth that he cannotdaunt you, hee will gently come nee
re you, which when he hath done,you may descend from off the Tombe; and, without naming or thinkingon God, or any of his Saintes, mount boldly on his backe, for he willstand ready to receive you. Being so seated, crosse your armes overyour brest, without presuming to touch or handle the Beast, for he willcarry you thence softly, and so bring you along to the company. But ifin all this time of your travaile, you call on heaven, any Saint, orbee possessed with the least thought of feare: I must plainely tellyou, that either hee will cast you dangerously, or throw you into somenoysom place. And therefore, if you know your selfe, not to be of aconstant courage, and sprightly bold, to undertake such an adventure asthis: never presume any further, because you may doe us a great dealeof injurie, without any gaine or benefite to your selfe, but rathersuch wrong, as we would be very sorry should happen unto so deere aFriend.
Alas honest _Buffalmaco_, answered the Physitian, thou art nothalfe acquainted with me as yet: because I walke with gloves uponmy hands, and in a long Gowne, thou perhappes doest imagine mee afaint-hearted fellow. If thou didst know, what I have heeretofore doneat _Bologna_ in the night time, when I and my Consorts went to visitepretty wenches, thou wouldst wonder at my couragious attempts. As Iam a Gentleman, one night, we met with a young _Bona Roba_, a paltrygreene-sicknesse baggage, scarsely above a Cubite in height, & becauseshe refused to go with us willingly, I gave her a kicke on the bum,and spurnde her more then a Crosse-bowe shoote in distance from me,and made her walke with us whether she would, or no. Another time Iremember, when having no other company but my boy, I went thorow theChurchyard of the Fryars Minors, after the sounding of _Ave Maria_: awoman hadde beene buried there the very same day, and yet I was not ajotte affraid.
Wherefore, never be distrustfull of mee, but resolvedly builde upon mycourage. And in regard of my more honourable entertainment, I will thenweare my Scarlet Gowne and Hood, wherein I receyved my graduation; andthen do both of you observe, what a rejoycing will be among the wholecompany, at the entertaining of such as a man as I am, enough to createme Captaine immediatly. You shall perceive also how the case will go,after I have beene there but a while, in regard that the Countesse(having as yet never seene me) is so deepely enamored of mee: shecannot choose but bestow the Bathe and Knight-hood on me, which sheeshall have the more honour of, in regard I am well able to maintaineit, therefore referre all the rest to mee, and never misdoubt yourinjurie or mine.
Spoken like a Gallant, replyed _Buffalmaco_, and I feare not now, butwe shall winne credite by your company. But be carefull I pray you,that you make not a mockery of us, and come not at all, or fayle to bethere, when the Beast shall be sent for you; I speake it the rather,because it is cold weather, and you Gentlemen Physitians can hardlyendure it. You are carefull of mee (quoth the Doctor) and I thankeyou for it, but I applaud my faire Starres, I am none of your nice oreasie-frozen fellowes, because cold weather is very familiar to me.I dare assure you, when I arise in the night time for that naturalloffice whereto all men are subject, I weare no warmer defence, then mythin wastcoat over my shirt, and finde it sufficient for the coldestweather at any time.
When _Bruno_ and _Buffalmaco_ had taken their leave, the Physitian, sosoone as night drew neere, used many apt excuses to his wife, stealingforth his Scarlet Gowne and Hood unseene of any, wherewith beingclothed: at the time appointed, he got upon one of the Marble Tombes,staying there (quaking with cold) awaiting when the Beast should come._Buffalmaco_, being a lusty tall man of person, had got an ugly maskingsuite, such as are made use of in Tragedies and Playes, the out-sidebeing of black shagged haire, wherewith being cloathed, he seemed likea strange deformed Beare, and a Divels vizard over his face, with twogastly horrible hornes, and thus disguised, _Bruno_ following him, theywent to behold the issue of the businesse, so farre as the new Marketplace, closely adjoining to _Santa Maria Novella_.
Having espyed Master Doctor uppon the Tombe, _Buffalmaco_ in hismisshapen habite, began to bound, leape, and carriere, snuffling andblowing in mad and raging manner: which when the Physitian saw, hishaire stood on end, he quaked and trembled, as being more fearfull thena Woman, wishing himselfe at home againe in his house, rather then tobehold a sight so dreadfull. But because he was come forth, and hadsuch an earnest desire, to see the wonders related to him; he madehimselfe so coragious as possibly he could, and bare all out in formallmanner. After that _Buffalmaco_ had (an indifferent while) plaide hishorse-trickes, ramping and stamping somewhat strangely: seeming asbecome of much milder temper, he went neere to the Tomb whereon thePhysitian stood, and there appeared to stay contentedly.
Master Doctor, trembling and quaking still extreamely, was so farredismayed, as he knew not what was best to be done, either to mounton the beasts backe, or not to mount at all. In the end, thinking noharme could happen to him, if he were once mounted, with the secondfeare, hee expelled the former, and descending downe softly from theTombs, mounted on the beast, saying out alowde: God, Saint Dominicke,and my good Angell helpe to defend mee. Seating himselfe so well as hecould, but trembling still exceedingly; he crossed his armes over hisstomacke, according to the Lesson given him.
Then did _Buffalmaco_ shape his course in milde manner, toward _SantaMaria della Scala_, and groping to finde his way in the darke, wenton so farre as the Sisters of _Ripole_, commonly called the _VirginSanctuary_. Not farre off from thence, were divers trenches & ditches,wherein such men as are imployed in necessary night-services, usedto empty the Countesse _di Civillari_, and afterward imployed it formanuring Husbandmens grounds. _Buffalmaco_, being come neere one ofthem, he stayed to breath himselfe awhile, and then catching fast holdon one of the Doctours feete, raysed him somewhat higher on his back,for the easier discharging of his burthen, and so pitched him (with hishead forwardes) into the Lay-stall.
Then began he to make a dreadfull kinde of noise, stamping and tramplingwith his feete, passing backe againe to _Santa Maria della Scala_,and to _Prato d'Ognissanti_, where hee met with _Bruno_, who wasconstrained to forsake him, because he could not refraine from lowdeLaughter, then both together went backe once more, to see how thePhysitian would behave himselfe, being so sweetely embrued.
Master Doctor, seeing himselfe to bee in such an abhominable stinkingplace, laboured with all his utmost endeavour, to get himself releasedthence: but the more he contended and strove for getting forth, heplunged himselfe the further in, being most pitifully myred from headto foot, sighing and sorrowing extraordinarily, because much of thefoule water entred in at his mouth. In the end, being forced to leavehis hood behinde him, scrambling both with his hands and feet, he gotlanding out of his stinking Labyrinth, & having no other means, homehe returned to his own house, where knocking at the doore, he was atlength admitted entrance. The doore being scarse made fast againe afterhis letting in, _Buffalmaco_ and _Bruno_ were there arrived, listninghow M. Doctor should bee welcomd home by his angry wife: who scoldingand railing at him with wonderfull impatience, gave him most hard andbitter speeches, terming him the vilest man living.
Where have you bin Sir? quoth she. Are you becom** a night-walker afterother Women? And could no worse garments serve your turne, but yourDoctors gown of Scarlet? Am I to suffer this behaviour? Or am not Isufficient to content you, but you must be longing after change? Iwould thou hadst bin stifled in that foule filth, where thy fouler lifedid justly cast thee. Behold goodly Master Doctor of the Leystall,who being maried to an honest woman must yet go abroad in the nighttime, insatiatly lusting after whores and harlots. With these and thelike intemperate speeches, she ceased not to afflict and torment him,till the night was almost spent, and the Doctor brought into a sweetersavour.
The next morning, _Bruno_ and _Buffalmaco_, having colourd their bodyeswith a strange kinde of painting, resembling blisters, swellings, andbruises, as if they had bin extreamly beaten; came to the Physitianshouse, finding him to be newly up, al the house yet smelling of hisfoule savour (although it had bin very well perfumed) and beingadmitted to him in the Garden, hee welcommed them with the morningssalut
ations. But _Bruno_ and _Buffalmaco_ (being otherwise provided forhim) delivering stearne and angry lookes, stamping and chafing, _Bruno_thus replyed.
Never speake so faire and flattering to us, for we are moved beyond allcompasse of patience. All misfortunes in the worlde fall upon you, andan evill death may you dye, like the most false and perfidious Traitorliving on the earth. We must beate our braines, and move all our mostendeared friends, onely for your honor and advancement: while wee werewell neere starved to death in the cold like Dogs, and, by your breachof promise, have bin this night so extreamly beaten, as if (like Asses)we should have beene driven to _Rome_.
But that which is most greevous of all, is danger of excluding out ofthe Society, where wee tooke good order for your admittance, and foryour most honourable entertainment. If you will not credit us, beholdour bodies, and let your owne eyes be witnesses, in what cruell mannerwe have bin beaten. So taking him aside under the Gallery, where theymight not be discovered by over-much light, they opened their bosomes,shewed him their painted bodies, and sodainly closed them up againe.
The Physitian laboured to excuse himselfe, declaring his misfortunes atlarge, and into what a filthy place he was throwne. It maketh no matter(answered _Buffalmaco_) I would you had bin throwen from off the Bridgeinto _Arno_, where you might have beene recommended to the Divell, andall his Saints. Did not I tell you so much before. In good sadnesse(quoth the Doctor) I neyther commended my selfe to God, nor any ofhis Saints. How? sayde _Buffalmaco_, I am sure you will maintaine anuntrueth, you used a kinde of recommendation: for our messenger toldus, that you talked of God, S. _Dominicke_, and your good Angell, whomyou desired to assist you, being so affrighted with feare, that youtrembled like a leafe upon a tree, not knowing indeede where you were.Thus have you unfaithfully dealt with us, as never any man shall doethe like againe, in seeking honour, and losing it through your ownnegligence.
Master Doctor humbly entreated pardon, and that they would not revilehim any more, labouring to appease them by the best words he could use,as fearing least they should publish this great disgrace of him. Andwhereas (before) he gave them gracious welcomes; now he redoubled themwith farre greater courtesies, feasting them daily at his own table,and evermore delighting in their company. Thus (as you have heard) twopoore Painters of _Florence_, taught Master Doctor better Wit, then allthe Learned at _Bologna_.