_A yong and ingenious Scholler, being unkindly reviled and smittenby his ignorant Father, and through the procurement of an unlearnedVicare: afterward attained to be doubly revenged on him._
The Sixth Novell.
_Serving as an advertisement to unlearned Parents, not to beeover-rash, in censuring on Schollers perfections, through any badde orunbeseeming perswasions._
The Ladies smiled very heartily, at the ready answer of _Giotto_;untill the Queene charged Madam _Fiammetta_, that shee should nextsucceed in order: whereupon, thus she began. The verie greatestinfelicity that can happen to a man, and most insupportable of allother, is Ignorance; a word (I say) which hath bin so generall, as underit is comprehended all imperfections whatsoever. Yet notwithstanding,whosoever can cull (graine by graine) the defects incident to humanerace; will and must confesse, that wee are not all borne to knowledge:but onely such, whom the heavens illuminating by their bright radiance(wherein consisteth the sourse and well-spring of all science) bylittle & little, do bestow the influence of their bounty, on suchand so manie as they please, who are to expresse themselves the morethankfull for such a blessing. And although this grace doth lessenthe misfortune of many, which were over-mighty to bee in all; yetsome there are, who by sawcie presuming on themselves, doe bewraytheir ignorance by theyr owne speeches; setting such behaviour on eachmatter, and soothing every thing with such gravity, even as if theywould make comparison: or (to speake more properly) durst encounter inthe Listes with great _Salomon_ or _Socrates_. But let us leave them,and come to the matter of our purposed Novell.
In a certaine Village of _Piccardie_, there lived a Priest or Vicar,who beeing meerely an ignorant blocke, had yet such a peremptoriepresuming spirite: as, though it was sufficiently discerned, yet heebeguiled many thereby, untill at last he deceyved himselfe, and withdue chastisement to his folly.
A plaine Husbandman dwelling in the same Village, possessed of muchLand and Living, but verie grosse and dull in understanding; by theentreaty of divers his Friends and Well-willers, some-thing moreintelligable then himselfe: became incited, or rather provoked, to senda Sonne of his to the University of _Paris_, to study there as wasfitting for a Scholler. To the end (quoth they) that having but thisSon onely, and Fortunes blessings abounding in store for him: hee mightlike wise have the riches of the minde, which are those true treasuresindeede, that _Aristippus_ giveth us advice to be furnished withall.
His Friends perswasions having prevailed, and hee continued at _Paris_for the space of three yeares: what with the documents he had attaynedto, before his going thither, and by meanes of a happie memory in thetime of his being there, wherewith no young man was more singularlyendued (in so short a while) he attained and performed the greater partof his Studies.
Now, as oftentimes it commeth to passe, the love of a Father(surmounting all other affections in man) made the olde Farmer desirousto see his Sonne: which caused his sending for him with all convenientspeede, and obedience urged his as forward willingnesse thereto. Thegood olde man, not a little joyfull to see him in so good conditionand health, and encreased so much in stature since his parting thence:familiarly told him, that he earnestly desired to know, if his mindeand body had attained to a competent and equall growth, which withinthree or foure dayes he would put in practise.
No other helpe had he silly simple man, but Master Vicar must beethe questioner and poser of his son: wherein the Priest was veryunwilling to meddle, for feare of discovering his owne ignorance, whichpassed under better opinion then he deserved. But the Farmer beeingimportunate, and the Vicar many wayes beholding to him, durst notreturne deniall, but undertooke it very formally, as if he had bene anable man indeede.
But see how Fooles are borne to be fortunate, and where they leasthope, there they find the best successe; the simplicitie of the Father,must be the meanes for abusing his Schollerly Son, and a skreene tostand betweene the Priest and his ignorance. Earnest is the olde man toknow, what and how farre his Sonne had profited at Schoole, and by whatnote he might best take understanding of his answeres: which jumpingfit with the Vicars vanity, and a warrantable cloake to cover hisknavery; he appoints him but one word onely, namely _Nescio_, wherewithif he answered to any of his demands, it was an evident token, thathee understood nothing. As thus they were walking and conferring inthe Church, the Farmer very carefull to remember the word _Nescio_: itcame to passe upon a sodaine, that the young man entred into them, tothe great contentment of his Father, who prayed Master Vicar, to makeapprobation of his Sonne, whether he were learned, or no, and how heehad benefited at the University?
After the time of the daies salutations had past betweene them, theVicar being subtle and crafty, as they walked along by one of thetombs in the Church; pointing with his finger to the Tombe, the Priestuttered these words to the Scholler.
_Quis hic est sepultus?_
The yong Scholler (by reason it was erected since his departure, andfinding no inscription whereby to informe him) answered, as well heemight, _Nescio_. Immediately the Father, keeping the word perfectly inhis memorie, grewe verie angerly passionate; and, desiring to heare nomore demaunds: gave him three or foure boxes on the eares; with manyharsh and injurious speeches, tearming him an Asse and Villaine, andthat he had not learned any thing. His Sonne was pacient, and returnedno answer, but plainly perceived, that this was a tricke intendedagainst him, by the malicious treachery of the Priest, on whom (intime) he might be revenged.
Within a short while after, the Suffragane of those parts (under whomthe Priest was but a Deputy, holding the benefice of him, with no greatcharge to his conscience) being abroad in his visitation, sent word tothe Vicar, that he intended to preach there on the next Sunday, and heeto prepare in a readinesse, _Bonum & Commodum_, because hee would havenothing else to his dinner. Heereat Master Vicar was greatly amazed,because he had never heard such words before, neither could hee findethem in all his _Breviarie_. Hereupon, he went to the yong scholler,whom he had so lately before abused, and crying him mercy, with manyimpudent and shallow excuses, desired him to reveale the meaning ofthose words, and what he should understand by _Bonum & Commodum_.
The Scholler (with a sober and modest countenance) made answere; Thathe had bin over-much abused, which (neverthelesse) he tooke not soimpaciently, but hee had already both forgot and forgiven it, withpromise of comfort in this his extraordinary distraction, and greefe ofminde. When he had perused the Suffraganes Letter, well observing theblushlesse ignorance of the Priest: seeming (by outward appearance) totake it strangely, he cryed out alowd, saying; In the name of Vertue,what may be this mans meaning? How? (quoth the Priest) What mannerof demand do you make? Alas, replyed the Scholler, you have but onepoore Asse, which I know you love deerely, and yet you must stew hisgenitories very daintily, for your Patron will have no other meat tohis dinner. The genitories of mine Asse, answered the Priest? Passionof me, who then shall carrie my Corne to the Mill? There is no remedie,sayde the Scholler, for he hath so set it downe for an absoluteresolution.
After that the Priest had considered thereon a while by himselfe,remembring the yearely revennewes, which clearely hee put up intohis purse, to be ten times of farre greater worth then his Asse: heconcluded to have him gelded, what danger soever should ensue thereon,preparing them in readinesse against his comming. So soone as theSuffragan was there arrived, heavily hee complained to him for hisAsse: which kinde of Language he not understanding, knew not whathe meant, nor how he should answer. But beeing (by the Scholler)acquainted with the whole History, he laughed heartily at the Priestsignorant folly, wishing that all such bold Bayards (from time to time)might be so served. Likewise, that all ignorant Priests, Vicars, andother Grashoppers of Townes or Villages, who sometimes have onely seene_Partes orationis quod sunt_, not to stand over-much on their ownesufficiency, grounded soly upon their Grammar; but to beware whom theyjest withall, without medling with Schollers, who take not injuries asdullards doe, least they prove infamous by their disputations.