Read The Destiny of Nathalie X Page 15


  “Exactly,” Utta said, with a small smile. “Don’t you see? That means there’ll be a vacancy, won’t there?”

  Mr. Koenig steps out of his car and wrinkles his eyes at the sun. Mrs. Koenig waits patiently until he comes around and opens the door for her. Everyone shakes hands.

  “Bet you’re glad you’re not in Okinawa, eh, Spence?” Mr. Koenig says.

  “Fire from heaven, I hear,” Spencer says with some emotion.

  “Oh yeah? Well, whatever.” Mr. Koenig turns to me. “How’re we doing, Miss Velk?”

  “Running a bit late,” I say. “Maybe in one hour, if you come back?”

  He looks at his watch, then at his wife. “What do you say to some breakfast, Mrs. Koenig?”

  Tobias liked to be naked. He liked to move around his house doing ordinary things, naked. Once when his wife was away he had cooked Gudrun a meal and asked her to eat it with him, naked. They ate thick slices of smoked ham, she remembered, with a pungent radish sauce. They sat in his dining room and ate and chatted as if all were perfectly normal. Gudrun realized that it aroused him sexually, that it was a prelude to lovemaking, but she began to feel cold and before he served the salad she asked if she could go and put on her sweater.

  Tobias Henzi was one of the three Masters of Form who ran the architecture workshop. He was a big burly man who would become seriously fat in a few years, Gudrun realized. His body was covered with a pelt of fine dark hair, almost like an animal’s, it grew thickly on his chest and belly and, curiously, in the small of his back, but his whole body—his buttocks, his shoulders—was covered with this fine glossy fur. At first she thought she would find it repugnant, but it was soft, not wiry, and now when they were in bed she often discovered herself absentmindedly stroking him, as if he were a great cat or a bear, as if he were a rug she could pull around her.

  They met at the New Year’s party in 1928, where the theme was “white.” Tobias had gone as a grotesque, padded Pierrot, a white cone on his head, his face a mask of white greasepaint. Gudrun had been a colonialist, in a man’s white suit with a white shirt and tie and her hair up under a solar topee. By the party’s end, well into January 1, she had gone into an upstairs lavatory to untie her tight bun, vaguely hoping that loosening her hair would ease her headache.

  Her hair was longer then, falling to her shoulders, and as she came down the stairs to the main hall she saw, sitting on a landing, Tobias, a large, rumpled, clearly drunken Pierrot, smoking a dark knobbled cigar. He watched her descend, a little amazed, it seemed, blinking as if to clear some obstruction to his vision.

  She stepped over his leg, she knew who he was.

  “Hey, you,” he shouted after her. “I didn’t know you were a woman.” His tone was affronted, aggressive, almost as if she had deliberately misled him. She did not look around.

  The day the new term began he came to the weaving workshop to find her.

  I take my last cigarette from the pack and light it. I sit on the step below the cab of Spencer’s crane, where there’s some shade. I see Spencer coming briskly along the sidewalk from the pay phone. He’s a stocky man, not small, but with the stocky man’s vigorous rolling stride, as if the air were crowding him and he’s shouldering it away, forcing his passage through.

  “They say it left an hour ago.” He shrugged. “Must be some problem on the highway.”

  “Wonderful.” I blow smoke into the sky, loudly, to show my exasperation.

  “Can I bum one of those off of you?”

  I show him the empty pack.

  “Lucky Strike.” He shrugs. “I don’t like them, anyway.”

  “I like the name. That’s why I smoke them.”

  He looks at me. “Yeah, where do they get the names for those packs? Who makes them up? I ask you.”

  “Camel.”

  “Yeah,” he says. “Why a camel? Do camels smoke? Why not a … a hippo? I ask you.”

  I laugh. “A pack of Hippos, please.”

  He grins and cuffs the headlamp nacelle. He makes a tsssss sound, and shakes his head, incredulously. He looks back at me.

  “Goddamn factory. Must be something on the highway.”

  “Can I buy you some breakfast, Spencer?”

  Paul met Tobias only once in Gudrun’s company. It was one afternoon at four o’clock when the workshops closed. The weavers worked four hours in the morning, two in the afternoon. The workshop was empty. The big rug was half done, pinned up on an easel in the middle of the room. Paul stood in front of it, the fingers of his right hand slowly stroking his chin, looking, thinking. From time to time he would cover his left eye with his left palm.

  “I like it, Gudrun,” he said, finally. “I like its warmth and clarity. The color penetration, the orangy pinks, the lemons … What’s going to happen at the bottom?”

  “I think I am going to shade into green and blue.”

  “What’s that black?”

  “I’m going to have some bars, some vertical, one horizontal, with the cold colors.”

  He nodded and stepped back. Gudrun, who had been standing behind him, moved to one side to allow him a longer view. As she turned, she saw Tobias had come into the room and was watching them. Tobias sauntered over and greeted Paul coolly and with formality.

  “I came to admire the rug,” Paul said. “It’s splendid, no?”

  Tobias glanced at it. “Very decorative,” he said. “You should be designing wallpaper, Miss Velk, not wasting your time with this.” He turned to Paul. “Don’t you agree?”

  “Ah. Popular necessities before elitist luxuries,” Paul said, wagging a warning finger at her, briefly. The sarcasm sounded most strange coming from him, Gudrun thought.

  “It’s a way of putting it,” Tobias said. “Indeed.”

  We sit in a window of a coffee shop in Westwood Village. I’ve ordered a coffee and Danish but Spencer has decided to go for something more substantial: a rib-eye steak with fried egg.

  “I hope the Koenigs don’t come back,” Spencer says. “Maybe I shouldn’t have ordered the steak.”

  I press my cheek against the warm glass of the window. I can just see the back end of Spencer’s crane.

  “I’ll spot them,” I say. “And I’ll see the truck from the factory. You eat up.”

  Spencer runs his finger along the curved aluminum beading that finishes the table edge.

  “I want you to know, Miss Velk, how grateful I am for the work you’ve put my way.” He looks me in the eye. “More than grateful.”

  “No, it is I who am grateful to you.”

  “No, no, I appreciate what you—”

  His steak comes and puts an end to what I’m sure would have been long protestations of mutual gratitude. It’s too hot to eat pastry so I push my Danish aside and wonder where I can buy some more cigarettes. Spencer, holding his fork like a dagger in his injured left hand, stabs it into his steak to keep it steady on the plate and, with the knife in his right, sets about trying to saw the meat into pieces. He is having difficulty: his thumb and two fingers can’t keep a good grip on the fork handle, and he saws with the knife awkwardly.

  “Damn thing is I’m left-handed,” he says, sensing me watching. He works off a small corner, pops it in his mouth and then starts the whole pinioning, slicing operation again. The plate slides across the shiny tabletop and collides with my coffee mug. A small splash flips out.

  “Sorry,” he says.

  “Could I do that for you?” I say. “Would it bother you?”

  He says nothing and I reach out and gently take the knife and fork from him. I cut the steak into cubes and hand back the knife and fork.

  “Thank you, Miss Velk.”

  “Please call me Gudrun,” I say.

  “Thank you, Gudrun.”

  “Gudrun! Gudrun, over here.” Utta beckoned her from the doorway of Tobias’s kitchen. Gudrun moved with difficulty through the crowd of people, finding a gap here, skirting around an expansive gesture there. Utta drew her into the kitchen, where t
here was still quite a mob of people, and refilled Gudrun’s glass with punch and then her own. They clinked glasses.

  “I give you Marianne Brandt,” Utta said. She smiled.

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s resigned.”

  “What happened? Who told you?”

  Utta inclined her head toward the window. “Irene,” she said. Standing by the sink talking to three young men was Irene Henzi, Tobias’s wife. Gudrun had not seen her there. She had arrived at the party late, uneasy at the thought of being in Tobias’s house, meeting his wife and other guests. Tobias had assured her that Irene knew nothing; Irene was ignorance personified, he said, the quintessence of ignorance. Utta carried on talking, as Gudrun covertly scrutinized her hostess, hearing some business about amalgamation, about metal, joinery and mural painting all being coordinated into a new workshop of interior design. Irene did not look like an ignorant woman, she thought, she looked like a woman brimful of knowledge. “—I told you it would happen. Arndt’s going to run it. But Marianne’s refused to continue,” Utta was saying, but Gudrun did not listen further. Irene Henzi was tall and thin, she had a sharp long face with hooded, sleepy eyes and wore a loose black gown that seemed oddly Eastern in design. To Gudrun she appeared almost ugly, and yet she seemed to have gathered within her a languid, self-confident calm and serenity. The students laughed at something she said, and she left them with a flick of her wrist, making them laugh again, picking up a plate of canapés and beginning to offer them around to the other guests standing and chatting in the kitchen. She drifted toward Utta and Gudrun, closer, a smile and word for everyone.

  “I have to go,” Gudrun said, and left.

  Utta caught up with her in the hall, where she was putting on her coat.

  “What’s happening? Where are you going?”

  “Home. I don’t feel well.”

  “But I want you to talk to Tobias, find out more. They need a new assistant now. If Tobias could mention my name to Meyer, just a mention …”

  Gudrun felt a genuine nausea and simultaneously, inexplicably, infuriatingly, an urge to cry.

  Spencer frowns worriedly at me. I look at my watch, Mr. Koenig looks at his watch also and simultaneously the truck from the factory in Oxnard rumbles up Wilshire. Apologies are offered, the delays on the highway blamed—who would have thought there could be so much traffic on a Sunday?—and Spencer maneuvers the crane into position.

  Tobias ran his fingertips down her back to the cleft in her buttocks. “So smooth,” he said. He turned her over and nuzzled her breasts, taking her hand and pulling it down to his groin.

  “Utta will be home soon,” she said.

  Tobias groaned. He heaved himself up on his elbows and looked down at her. “I can’t stand this,” he said. “You have to get a place of your own. And not so damn far away.”

  “Oh yes, of course,” Gudrun said. “I’ll get a little apartment on Kavalierstrasse. So convenient and so reasonable.”

  “I’m going to miss you,” he said. “What am I going to do? Dear Christ.”

  Gudrun had told him she was going to take the dyeing course at Sorau. They met regularly now, almost as a matter of routine, three, sometimes four times a week in the afternoon at the apartment on Grenz Weg. The weaving workshop closed earlier than the other departments in the Institute, and between half past four and half past six in the afternoons they had the flat to themselves. Utta would obligingly stop for a coffee or shop on her way home—dawdling for the sake of love, as she described it—and usually Tobias was gone by the time she returned. On the occasions they met he seemed quite indifferent, quite unperturbed at being seen.

  “Now, if Utta was the new head of the metal workshop,” Gudrun said, “I’m sure she’d be much more busy than—”

  “Don’t start that again,” Tobias said. “I’ve spoken to Meyer. Arndt has his own candidates. You know she has a fair chance. A more than fair chance.” He put his arms around her and squeezed her strongly to him. “Gudrun, my Gudrun,” he exclaimed, as if mystified by this emotion within him. “Why do I want you so? Why?”

  They heard the rattle of Utta’s key in the lock, her steps as she crossed the hall into the kitchen.

  When Tobias left, Utta came immediately to Gudrun’s room. She was dressing, but the bed was still a mess of rumpled sheets, which for some reason made Gudrun embarrassed. To her the room seemed to reek of Tobias. She pulled the blanket up to the pillow.

  “Did he see you when he left?” Gudrun asked.

  “No, I was in my room. Did he say anything?”

  “The same as usual. No, ‘a more than fair chance,’ he said. He said Arndt has his own candidates.”

  “Of course, but ‘a more than fair chance.’ That’s something. Yes …”

  “Utta, I can’t do anything more. I think I should stop asking. Why don’t you see Meyer yourself?”

  “No, no. It’s not the way it works here, you don’t understand. It never has. You have to play it differently. And you must never give up.”

  Spencer checks that the canvas webbing is properly secured under the base, jumps down from the truck and climbs up to the small control platform beside the crane.

  I remind Mr. Koenig: “It’s manufactured in three parts. The whole thing can be assembled quickly. It’s painted, finished. We connect the power supply and you’re in business.”

  Mr. Koenig was visibly moved. “It’s incredible,” he said. “Just like that.”

  I turn to Spencer and give him a thumbs-up. There’s a thin puff of bluey-gray smoke and the crane’s motor chugs into life.

  Tobias sat on the edge of his desk, one leg swinging. He reached out to take Gudrun’s hand and gently pulled her into the V of his thighs. He kissed her neck and inhaled, smelling her skin, her hair, as if he were trying to draw her essence deep into his lungs.

  “I want us to go away for a weekend,” he said. “Let’s go to Berlin.”

  She kissed him. “I can’t afford it.”

  “I’ll pay,” he said. “I’ll think of something, some crucial meeting.”

  She felt his hands on her buttocks; his thighs gently clamped hers. Through the wall of his office she could hear male voices from one of the drawing rooms. She pushed herself away from him and strolled over to the tilted drawing table that was set before the window.

  “A weekend in Berlin …” she said. “I like the sound of that, I must—”

  She turned as the door opened and Irene Henzi walked in.

  “Tobias, we’re late,” she said, glancing at Gudrun with a faint smile.

  Tobias sat on, one free leg swinging slightly.

  “You know Miss Velk, don’t you?”

  “I don’t think so. How are you?”

  Somehow Gudrun managed to extend her arm; she felt the slight pressure of dry cool fingers. “A pleasure.”

  “She was at the party,” Tobias said. “Surely you met.”

  “Darling, there were a hundred people at the party.”

  “I won’t disturb you further,” Gudrun said, moving to the door. “Very good to meet you.”

  “Oh, Miss Velk.” Tobias’s call stopped her; she turned carefully to see Irene bent over the drawing table scrutinizing the blueprint there. “Don’t forget our appointment. Four-thirty as usual.” He smiled at her, glanced over to make sure his wife was not observing and blew her a kiss.

  At the edge of a wood of silver birches behind the Institute was a small meadow where, in summer, the students would go and sunbathe. And at the meadow’s edge a stream ran, thick with willows and alders. The pastoral mood was regularly dispelled, however—and Gudrun wondered if this was why it was so popular with students—by the roaring noise of aeroengines. The trimotors that were tested at the Junkers Flugplatz, just beyond the pine trees to the west, would bank around and fly low over the meadow as they made their landing approaches. In the summer the pilots would wave to the sunbathing students below.

  Gudrun walked down the path thr
ough the birchwood, still trembling, still hot from the memory of Tobias’s audacity, his huge composure. She was surprised to see, coming up from the meadow, Paul. He was carrying a pair of binoculars in his hand. He saw her and waved.

  “I like to look at the aeroplanes,” he said. “In the war I used to work at an airfield, you know, painting camouflage. Wonderful machines.”

  She had a flask of coffee with her and spontaneously offered to share it with him. She needed some company, she felt, some genial distraction. They found a place by the stream and she poured coffee into the tin cup that doubled as the flask’s top. She had some bread and two hard-boiled eggs, which she ate as Paul drank the coffee. Then he filled his pipe and smoked while she told him about the dyeing course at Sorau. He said he thought she needed a more intense blue to finish her rug, something hard and metallic, and suggested she might be able to concoct the right color at the dye works.

  “With Tobias,” he said suddenly, to her surprise, “when you’re with Tobias, are you happy?”

  He waved aside her denials and queries. Everyone knew about it, he told her, such a thing could not be done discreetly in a place like the Institute. She need not answer if she did not want to, but he was curious.

  Yes, she said, she was very happy with Tobias. They were both happy. She said boldly that she thought she was in love with him. Paul listened. He told her that Tobias was a powerful figure in the architecture school, that all power in the Institute emanated from the architecture workshop. He would not be surprised, he said, if one day Tobias ended up running the whole place.

  He rose to his feet, tapped out his pipe on the trunk of a willow and they wandered back through the birchwood.

  “I just wanted you to be aware about this,” he said, “about Tobias.” He smiled at her. “He’s an intriguing man.” His features were small beneath his wide pale brow, as if crushed and squashed slightly by its weight. There were bags under his eyes, she noticed, he looked tired.

  “You’re like a meteor,” he said. “Suddenly you’re attracted by the earth and are drawn into its atmosphere. At this moment you become a shooting star, incandescent and beautiful. There are two options available: to be tied to the earth’s atmosphere and plummet, or to escape, moving back out into space—”