Your wife and son wouldnt see it that way, I say silently, but I nod acknowledgment.
Now we sit silently, awkwardly, like two men whove cleared the air on some uncomfortable issue and have nothing left to say. Small talk is pointless, yet how else can we part? Cut our palms and take a blood oath, like Tom and Huck?
You still dating that lady who runs the bookstore? Tim asks with forced casualness.
Libby? I guess word hasnt spread to Jessups social circle yet. We ended it about a week ago. Why?
Ive seen her son down on the Queen a few times in the past couple of weeks. Looked high as a kite to me. Must have a fake ID.
After all Ive heard tonight, this news falls on me like the last brick of a backbreaking load. Ive spent too much time and political capital getting my ex-girlfriends nineteen-year-old son out of trouble with the law. Hes basically a good kid, but if hes broken his promise to stay clean, the future holds serious unpleasantness for us both.
Tim looks worried. Was I right to tell you?
Are you sure he was high?
Suddenly Tim hops to his knees, tense as a startled deer, holding up his hand for silence. As he zeros his gaze somewhere past the wall between us and the river, I realize what has disturbed him: the sound of a car coming up Cemetery Road. We listen to the rising pitch of the engine, waiting for it to crest and fall but it doesnt. Theres a grinding squeal of brakes, then silence.
Stopped. Tim hisses. Right below us.
Take it easy, I whisper, surprised by my thumping heart. Its probably just a police cruiser checking out my car.
Tim has his feet under him now. Almost faster than I can decipher his movements, he grabs the photos from the ground, shoves them into the corner of the plot, and sets them ablaze with his lighter. Cover the light with your body, he says.
As I move to obey, he crab-walks over two graves and lifts his eyes above the rim of the far wall. The photographs have already curled into glowing ashes.
Can you see anything? I ask.
Not yet. Were too deep in.
Let me go take a look.
No way. Stay here.
Exasperated by his paranoia, I get to my feet and step over the wall. Before Ive covered twenty feet I hear the tinny squawk of a police radio. This brings me immediate relief, but Tim is probably close to bolting. With a surprising rush of anxiety, I trot to the bench beneath the flagpole and peer over the edge of Jewish Hill.
An idling squad car sits behind my Saab. Theres a cop inside it, talking on his radio. Hes undoubtedly running a 1028 on my license plate. In seconds hell know that the car in front of him belongs to the mayor of the city, if he didnt already know. As I watch, the uniform gets out of his car and switches on a powerful flashlight. He sweeps the beam along the cemetery wall, then probes the hedge just below Jewish Hill. Our officers carry SureFires, and this one is powerful enough to transfix the Turning Angel in its ghostly ballet of vigilance over the dead.
Given a choice between waiting for the cop to leave and walking down to face him, I choose the latter. For one thing, he might not leave; he might call a tow truck instead. For another, I am the mayor, and its nobodys business what Im doing up here in the middle of the night. I might well be having a dark night of the soul and visiting my wifes grave.
As the white beam leaves the Turning Angel and arcs up toward me, I jog back to the walled plot that sheltered Tim and me. My old friend has vanished as silently as he appeared. The odor of burnt paper still rides the air, and two tiny embers glow orange in the corner of the plotall that remains of the evidence in a case I have no idea how to begin working. After all, Im no longer a prosecutor. Im only the mayor. And no one knows better than I how little power I truly have.
CHAPTER
4
Julia Jessup watches her seven-month-old son sleep in the crib her sister-in-law sent from San Diego. Julia envies her little boy, that he can sleep so soundly while his father is away. A perfect shining bubble of saliva expands from his cherubs lips as he exhales, then pops on the inspiration. Julia almost smiles, but she cant quite manage it. Somewhere between her belly and her heart a great fear is working, like a worm eating at her insides. Tim has promised that everything will be all right, that he will return safely from wherever he went, but her fear did not believe him.
Julia has come so far to reach this place, this little haven from the hardness of the world. A hundred years ago, she married her high school boyfriend, the quarterback of St. Stephens Prep. The schools golden boy got her pregnant at nineteen, married her a week later, and gave her herpes two weeks before the baby came. Julia discovered this when the baby contracted the virus during delivery and died in agony eight days later. It was hard to hold on to her romantic illusions after that. But shed tried.
She suffered through the barhopping with his moronic friends and the vacuous sluts they hung out with, his long absences in the woods during deer season, paintball tournaments during the workweek, sweating in a mosquito-clouded bass boat while he fished. But in the end, shed had to face that shed bound herself to a boy, not a man, and that any future with him meant sharing him with every trash monkey who caught his eye, and catching whatever STDs she didnt have yet.
The first years after she divorced him were leaner than shed known life could be. Julia had come from a good family, but when the oil business crashed in the eighties, her father couldnt find another way to make a living and ended his erratic job search with a bullet in the head. After her divorce, she was pretty much on her own. She waited tables, worked a cash register, parked cars at parties, and sold makeup to women who paid more for facial creams in a week than Julia paid for a months rent. She steered clear of men for the most part, and watched her friends who hadnt left Natchez screw up in just about every way possible where the opposite sex was concerned. When Julia needed companionship, she chose older menmarried ones who had no illusions about where things were headedand bided her time.
Then shed met Tim Jessup, or remet him. Shed known him in school, of course, but theyd never dated, since he was three years ahead of her. Back then hed been one of the cocky ones who thought that the good life lay waiting ahead of him like a red carpet spread by fate. But soon after high school, hed learned different. Julia hadnt thought of Tim much after that, not until she took a job serving hors doeuvres on the casino boat one night. Tim had watched her from his blackjack table, then waited for her to finish her work. They went for breakfast at the Waffle House, talked about the good old days at St. Stephens, then, surprisingly, opened up about the not-so-good days that had filled most of their lives since. By the end of that night, Julia had known Tim might be the man shed been waiting for. There was only one catch. He had a drug problem.
She could see it in his eyes, the itchy anxiety that worsened until he made a trip to the bathroom and returned with a look of serenity. But then hed disarmed her by admitting it, that first night too. Theyd seen a lot of each other after that, and within a month Julia had made a deal with herself. If she could get Tim cleanreally cleanthen she would take a chance on him. And to her surprise, she had succeeded. Nothing in her life had been tougher, but shed set her whole being on seeing him through to sobriety, and shed done it.
The results were miraculous. Tim quit working the boat his druggie friends patronized, hired on with the new outfit, and began working every shift the Magnolia Queen would give him. Hed even talked his father into giving him a loan for a small house, and in his off hours began fixing it up himself, sawing and hammering like a born carpenter, not a privileged surgeons son. Julia watched HGTV every chance she got, ripped up the stained carpet of the previous owners, and refinished the hardwood underneath. Installed the bathroom tiles too. Her pregnancy was something they kept to themselves, a treasure they hugged together in the cocoon of their changing house, until theyd gone so fa
r down the road to normalcy that people wouldnt roll their eyes when she revealed it. By the time she began to show, the change in perception had begun. Even Tims father had warmed to her, in his own way. Some days, in the early mornings, or late at night, she would see his silver Mercedes glide past on the lane outside, and shed know he was checking his sons progress. When the baby finally came, perfect and round and without flaw because Julia had taken acyclovir for the last month, every pill at the exact moment she was supposed to, the transformation was complete. She could hardly believe this was her life, that by sheer force of will and faith in herself and her husband she could bring goodness out of fear and regret. But she had done it.
If only Tims evolution had stopped there .
As her husband slowly regained the bearings hed lost during his early twenties, hed begun to experience a kind of emotional fallout. His memory, which had blocked out so much during his lost years, began to fill in the gaps, and waves of guilt and regret would assail him. Tim rediscovered God, which might have been all right had he not acted like a religious convert, more zealous than those born into the faith. He saw choices starkly, as either right or wrong, and despite his own past he judged those who didnt measure up to his idea of ethical responsibility. It wasnt a moral prissinesshe didnt condemn people for the common human lapsesbut he began to obsess about the big things in life. Politics. Organized religion. The diamond brokers in Sierra Leone, the starving children in the Sudan, the good Muslims in Iraq. The uneducated blacks right here in Mississippi.
And then it happened. Exactly what, Julia didnt know. But it was something at work. Tim had witnessed something terrible, or overheard something, and from that night forward hed been a man possessed. With each passing week hed grown more withdrawn, more irritable, to the point that she feared hed begun using again. But it wasnt that. Tim had apparently discovered something that so outraged him he felt compelled to right the wrong himself. And that terrified her. Tim wasnt the kind of man to take on that kind of trouble. He was smart, and he was good-hearted, but he wasnt hard inside, the way her first husband had been. Tim had illusions about people; he wanted them to be better than they were, and you couldnt fight evil men if you thought that way. You couldnt win, anyway. Julia had lived enough life to know that.
The only thing that had given her any comfort was Tim telling her that Penn Cage would be helping him. Julia had known Penn in high school too. Shed even kissed him once, beside a car one night at a senior party that she and a friend had sneaked off to. Penn Cage wasnt like Tim. He wasnt timid or uncertain; he made decisions and stuck with them, and life had worked out for him. It wasnt as if he hadnt suffered; hed lost his wife to cancer; but everybody paid for the things they got, some way or other. You had to pay just for being alive.
And that, Julia guessed, was what Tim was trying to do. He wanted to make up for all the years he had wasted, for all the things he could have accomplished and had not. It wasnt for her, she knew, and this both relieved and wounded her. Shed done all she could to prove to Tim that he owed her nothingnothing except all the time he could give to her and the baby. But that wasnt enough for him. Tims obsession was rooted in his relationship with his father. He felt he had betrayed his father as well as himself, and something was driving him to prove that he was in fact the man his father had dreamed he might one day become.
Julia hopes Tim wasnt lying about Penn, that he didnt simply tell her whatever he thought would quiet her while he went off to God-knew-where to earn the right to feel good about himself again. And so she waits, and watches her baby, and prays that someone will take the cross from her husbands back and carry it for him. For in the inmost chamber of her heart Julia is certain that if Tim goes on alone, he will die before finding the salvation he seeks.
CHAPTER
5
I should probably drive straight home from the cemetery, but as Tim predicted, I cannot free my mind from the terrible images in his photographs. Instead, I drive up Linton Avenue, turn on Madison Street, and cruise past the newspaper building, where my old lover once worked as publisher. While Caitlin Masters lived in Natchez, everything she could uncover and verify about the city was printed in the paper. Now, despite the fact that her father still owns the Examiner, much of the investigative fire seems to have gone out of the staff. If Caitlin were still here, I suspect, the rumors that Tim fleshed out tonight would already be halfway to the front page.
I turn on State Street and negotiate a series of right angles on the citys notorious one-way streets, checking for a tail as I make my way to City Hall. The cop at the cemetery proved easy enough to handle, but Im not sure he bought my explanation of visiting my wifes grave. He kept glancing over my shoulder as though he expected a half-dressed woman to appear from among the gravestones beyond the cemetery wall. Of course, he might also have been searching for Tim Jessup, and thats why Im keeping my eyes on my rearview mirror as I drive. Id like to know just how interested the police are in my movements.
Unlike most Mississippi towns, Natchez has no central square dominated by a courthouse or a Confederate soldier on a pillar. The lifeblood of this city has always been the river, and the stately old commercial blocks platted in 1790 march away from it as though with regret, toward onetime plantations now mostly subdivided into residential neighborhoods. City Hall faces Pearl Street and abuts the county courthouse at the rear. The courthouse is the larger of the two buildings, but people often see them as a single structure, since only a narrow alley separates them.
Parking before the cream-colored stone of City Hall, I walk beneath hundred-year-old oaks to the main entrance. The building is usually locked by 5:00 p.m., but the chandelier in the foyer blazes like the ballroom of the Titanic, and I use its light to find the proper key on my ring. A couple of years before I was elected mayor, the previous board of selectmen awarded me a key to the city. This token of recognition didnt mean much at the timeit was the kind of honor you might dream about as a kid watching a Disney moviebut tonight, unlocking City Hall with the actual key to the building, I feel the crushing weight of my responsibility to the people who elected me.
Upstairs, in my office, I kneel before my safe and open its combination lock. The few sensitive documents I deal with as mayor reside in this safe, among them my file on the Golden Parachute Gaming Corporation, the Los Angelesbased company that owns the Magnolia Queen. Feeling strangely furtive, I slip the thick file inside my button-down shirt before I walk downstairs and lock the door. With the file still tucked against my belly, I drive the ten blocks required to reach my home on Washington Street three blocks away, my eyes alert for police cars.
When I moved back to town, I had the morbid luck to arrive shortly before the patriarch of an old Natchez family died, which resulted in their family home coming up for sale after a century of benign neglect. I bought it the same day, and Ive never regretted it. An elegant, two-story Federal town house of red brick, it stands at the center of one of the most beautiful enclaves of the city. Town houses of various styles and pedigrees stand along both sides of the street like impeccably dressed ladies and gentlemen from another era, gradually giving way to the Episcopal Church, the Temple Bnai Israel, Glen Auburna four-story French Second Empire mansionand Magnolia Hall, a massive Greek Revival mansion and the headquarters of one of the once-powerful local garden clubs. The town houses arent antebellum for the most part, but rather the dwellings of the merchants, lawyers, and physicians who prospered in Natchez in the Victorian era. The entire downtown length of Washington Street is lined with fuchsia-blooming crape myrtle trees, which are tended by ladies obsessively dedicated to their survival.
As I park and exit my car, a faint but steady glow from the second floor of the house across the street catches my eye. My stomach gives a little flip and I pause, trying to recall whether Ive seen that light in the past few weeks. The question has some importance, for the house still be
longs to Caitlin, though she hasnt lived in it for eighteen months, preferring to spend most of her time in Charlotte, North Carolina, where her fathers newspaper chain is based. But the house remains furnished, and she does not rent it out. Caitlin and I parted on good enough terms that I still possess a key, in theory so that should any kind of emergency befall the house, I could help the proper people to deal with it.
The reality is that for six of the past seven years, Caitlin and I lived as a couple. Her owning a house across the street from mine helped maintain the fiction that we were not living in sin, which people still say here, and only half-jokingly. Caitlin often spent the night when Annie was in the house, but Caitlins an early riser, and she was usually at work by the time Annie got up to get ready for school. As I remember those mornings now, something catches in my chest. Its been too long since I felt that relaxed intimacy, and I know my daughter misses it.
For most of the time we were together, Caitlin and I planned to marry. We took it for granted in the beginning, when we still believed that fate had brought us together. We met during the civil rights case that seized control of my life after I returned here, and before the resulting trial ended, wed discovered that though we were ten years apart in age and quite different on the surface, we were joined as inseparably as siblings beneath the skin. The only tension in our relationship developed later, when living and working in a small Southern town no longer felt charming to Caitlin, but rather like a prison. She was born and raised for the big canvas (her coverage of our case earned her a Pulitzer at twenty-eight), and while Natchez sometimes explodes into lethal drama, for the most part it remains a quiet river town, trapped in an eddy of time and history, changing almost imperceptibly when it changes at all.