“He’s gotten himself up there and can’t seem to get down. I’m not tall enough to reach him and I’m reluctant to stand on your brocade chairs. If I leave him there, he’ll either fall and break his neck or spend the day shredding the silk canopy.”
“Allow me,” Jason moved to the edge of the bed and reached up. The little cat seemed disposed to be skittish, but stood still after hearing “Wel-l-l-le-s-l-e-y,” uttered in a warning tone.
Jason lifted him down and stroked the soft head carefully. His reward was a high-pitched purr of delight. “He certainly gets into a quantity of trouble, doesn’t he?”
“Indeed he does, my lord,” Jessica said with a smile. “He is excellent preparation for having a child. Never where you expect him, able to move incredibly fast, and can charm you out of your irritation when you’d like to wring his neck.”
“You have the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen,” Jason said involuntarily as he looked down into her shining morning face.
She dimpled at him. “Then you can’t have looked closely at Wellesley.”
He smiled in reply. It was so very hard to stay on his guard with Jessica. “You have the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen on a human, then.” They really were most remarkable, not the light olive shade usually called green but a clear true emerald with a dark rim around the iris. Eyes to drown in....
He snapped his concentration back with an effort. “Since you appear to be ready for riding, would you care to join me?”
“I’d be delighted.” She slipped on a worn brown jacket against the morning chill, then hustled her host into the corridor. Widows were relatively scandal-proof but it wouldn’t be at all the thing for her niece’s fiancé to be seen coming out of her bedroom. It was even less the thing to know she didn’t want him to leave.
As they walked outside, she darted a quick glance at him out of the corner of her eye. Why did he have to be so very handsome? The irresistible smile lurking behind his dark eyes, the rangy athlete’s body, designed to make a tall lady feel fragile and feminine ...
She turned her attention forward as they entered the stables.
“Come down here. I want to show you something.” Jason led her to the left, away from the area where most of the riding horses were kept. At the end of the passage he stopped in front of a large box stall. “What do you think?”
Jessica drew her breath in with delight, then reached out to the dappled gray mare. She was an exquisite creature, with huge dark eyes and dancing hooves. She trotted over to Jessica and gently pressed her velvet muzzle into the shoulder of the brown jacket.
“She seems to like you,” Jason commented.
“Say rather that she smells the carrot in my pocket. I was going to give it to the roan I’ve been riding, but this beauty has talked me round.” Jessica produced the treat, then stroked the glossy neck as the mare daintily nibbled. “She is mostly Arabian, isn’t she?”
Jason nodded approvingly. “Quite right. She was just delivered yesterday afternoon. I think she is the finest mare in England, and have been after Lord Hudson to sell for two years now. I may give her to Caroline as a wedding gift.”
Noticing Jessica’s doubtful look, he said dryly, “Surely your niece does ride?”
“Of course she does! She is a very pretty rider when ...” Jessica’s voice trailed off.
“You are going to have to complete that sentence, you know,” Jason said. “Particularly if it helps me to understand my elusive bride any better.”
Jessica smiled with a trace of embarrassment. “There is no great mystery. Caroline tends to be a bit of a woolgatherer, as you may have noticed.”
“The matter had not escaped my attention.”
“Well, we have always made sure she has placid horses. She has gotten thrown several times by paying insufficient attention. A spirited horse like this would have her in the hedgerows constantly. She is always quite cheerful and apologetic about her lapses, but there is a risk of serious injury.”
Jason sighed, “Perhaps the pianoforte will be a better gift.”
“Without question. Meanwhile, what is this little lady’s name?”
“Cleopatra. A fit mate for my Caesar.” Jason noticed Jessica’s doubtful look, and asked, “Does that not meet with your approval?”
“We-l-l-l. . . remember that Caesar and Cleopatra did not make a match of it. Perhaps she should be named for Caesar’s wife rather than his bit of muslin.”
Ignoring the strangled snort from her escort, she ran her fingers through the dark gray mane. “And like Caesar’s wife, this one is above reproach.”
Jason laughed suddenly. “How did an introduction to a horse turn into a lecture on the classics? If you prefer, I will call her Calpurnia rather than Cleopatra, She needs some exercise today. Shall I saddle her for you?”
Eyes shining, Jessica nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, please!”
As they cantered across a meadow several minutes later, Jessica threw back her head and laughed in sheer exhilaration. She knew how unwise it was to savor the company of the man by her side, but in affairs of the heart she had never been wise in her life. If she chose to enjoy now and suffer later, it was no one else’s concern. She put Calpurnia through her paces, delighted by the mare’s smooth gaits and powerful response. “Shall I put her at a few fences, my lord? I want to see if she can jump as well as she rides.”
Without waiting for an answer, she turned her mount and headed for the nearest hedge, bounding over it with two feet to spare. Jason followed, thinking that few sights could improve on watching a beautiful woman on a beautiful horse. It occurred to him that almost the whole of his relationship with Jessica had been conducted on horseback.
She had pulled up on the other side of the hedge, beaming happily. “I swear this little beauty could outrun and outjump that big heavy brute you’re on. Not that Caesar isn’t a good fellow in his way,” she added soothingly.
“That’s coming it a bit strong,” he snorted. “There isn’t a mare born who could outrun this stallion.”
Jessica looked disdainful as she effortlessly controlled Calpurnia’s curvetting. “Possibly Caesar could make a creditable showing if he wasn’t carrying so much weight. But since he is, I’ll stand by my statement,”
Provoked by the slur on his favorite, Jason answered with a dangerous glint in his eyes, “Would you care to put that to a test?”
“Certainly. Pick your time and your course.”
“I choose right now. As for the course ... are you familiar with the giant oak in the western sheep pasture? It’s about two miles from here over mixed country.” Jason considered adding a wager to the race but decided against it. He still hadn’t recovered from his last foolish bet. He added, “Any route will do as long as no crops are damaged.”
“Done!” With a last flashing smile, Jessica whirled her horse around and was gone over the next hedge before Jason had Caesar properly in hand. He cursed admiringly as he put the stallion at the hedge she had just jumped. The wench certainly didn’t let any grass grow under her feet! He knew he had an unfair advantage; she couldn’t possibly know his land as well as he did. There were three potential routes but the flattest was blocked by a thick tangle of woods and the shortest was split by a narrow but very deep ravine.
Jessica was already out of sight as he topped the first hill, so he urged Caesar into a full gallop. Delighted by the order, the giant black horse flew over the countryside.
Two-thirds of the way to his goal, Jason still hadn’t seen a sign of his opponent. She couldn’t have had that much of a lead; was she on a different path? She must know enough to avoid the woods; they had skirted that area the morning before.
An icy finger touched the back of his neck and sent a chill down his spine; did she know about the ravine? Coming from this side, a stone wall had been built along the edge to keep livestock from falling. It would appear a simple jump to a rider coming on it unaware. Though an expert horse and rider could cross it, it would be sudden death to
anyone unprepared. In Jason’s lifetime, two hunters had died there; new riders were always warned and watched when they first hunted the area.
Abandoning the race, he cut Caesar right over a hill that would give him a clear view of the route that ran to the ravine. His heart froze when he saw the rider flying toward the deceptive stone fence, her small figure nearly flat along the mare’s gray neck, her flaming red hair the only bright note in the scene.
“Jessica!” He shouted at the top of his lungs as he set Caesar down the dangerous hillside, willing her to hear him and pull up. Uttering a quick prayer that Caesar wouldn’t put a foot in a badger hole, he concentrated on avoiding visible obstacles as he crashed down the hill at a suicidal pace, barely aware of stinging branches from the scrubby trees.
He was less than a hundred feet behind her when he burst onto the path, but she was only yards from the stone fence. He called out again and saw her glance back briefly before she launched Calpurnia upward over the barrier. Time slowed almost to stopping as they floated . .. over . .. hanging above the impossible ravine for a frozen eternity, then landing safely on the other side.
Jason’s panic barely registered relief before being washed away in a flood of fury. Beyond reason, he set the tiring Caesar at the fence, lifting them over the ravine by sheer force of will. Jessica had pulled up the mare and was waiting with a puzzled look on her face as he thundered up to her, drawing the stallion up at the last possible moment, then reaching out to grab Calpurnia’s bridle.
“Are you insane?” he raged. “That is the most dangerous spot on the estate. Two men have died there! Have you no sense at all?”
Surprised, Jessica gave him a hard stare from her suddenly cool green eyes. “But you see, we made the jump quite handily. Do you think I would risk your horse’s life?”
“I’m not worried about the damned horse! You haven’t been here long enough to know your way around. You could have been killed!”
Barely holding on to her own temper, she said through clenched teeth, “You forget, Lord Radford, I had nothing to do for the last fortnight but explore your land. I know perfectly what this ground is like. Was the great sportsman hoping for my ignorance to improve his chances of winning?”
“I don’t worry about being defeated by paper-skulled females! But I am your host, so if you are going to kill yourself through your own stupidity, don’t do it on my land!”
Bidding good-bye to the last shreds of self-control, Jessica exploded with all the frustration that had been building in her for the last two weeks.
“My safety is none of your concern! I knew exactly what I was doing. Neither the horse nor I was in any danger. What right have you to rail at me like a fishwife?”
Goaded beyond sense and discretion, Jason let go of her bridle and wrapped one arm around Jessica, half-pulling her across his saddle. “This right!” he said gratingly, before crushing his lips down on hers. His anger disappeared as rapidly as it had come and he released his own reins, wrapping both arms around her and burying one hand in her tangled auburn hair. She had jerked violently at his first touch, but now she clung to him, her warm mouth as urgent and demanding as his.
“Oh, Jessie, Jessie,” he breathed into her ear. “I thought you were going to die right in front of my eyes and I couldn’t bear it. I’ve been fourteen years in hell, and with you gone I would have spent the rest of my life there. Better to have thrown myself into the ravine after you.”
Caesar shifted uneasily, nearly unbalancing them both. It occurred to Jason that his sporting acquaintance would never believe that he, the great horseman, was foolish enough to make love to a woman when they were both astride spirited horses.
He shifted Jessica’s weight upright, then dismounted, securing the reins of both mounts to a convenient branch. As she slid wordlessly into his arms, he saw that his peerless, indomitable Jessica was crying. He studied the drowning emerald eyes, open and vulnerable as when she was seventeen, and began kissing each crystal tear. Her body shuddered against his as he ran his hand down her long back. She started to break away, so he forbade his hands to wander and held her against his chest until her movement stilled and she rested her head against his shoulder.
“Why did you leave me, love?” he said softly. “There wasn’t a day in the five years after that I didn’t ask myself what I had done wrong.”
She raised her head to look at him, her control still fragile. “It was because of my own youthful foolishness, Jason.” She drew a breath shakily. “I have often thought that youth is greatly overrated. The pain that is given and received without intending, the lack of understanding, the unintentional crimes against the heart... A thousand times I wished I could go back, but it was beyond mending.”
Her breath caught as she looked back over the years; then she continued, “At least I am being given the chance to answer for my wretched behavior.”
She pulled away from his embrace and sat with her back against a nearby log, patting the place beside her. Jason lowered himself where she indicated, taking the opportunity to put his arm around her. As she leaned her head back against him, he prompted, “What do you mean about your foolishness? All I could imagine at the time was that you were set on a title or a fortune, but when you married neither, I had to accept that I never had really known what you wanted.”
She smiled ruefully at him. “I wanted what every romantic young girl wanted.” She paused to organize her thoughts, then said, “You knew my father, didn’t you?” He nodded and she asked, “What manner of man was he?”
Jason cast his memory back, then answered, “A charming wastrel. Delightful company, held his liquor well and his cards badly, completely selfish.”
Jessica looked pleased at his perception. “Exactly so! You obviously took his measure. He could be quite affectionate with his daughters when he remembered our existence, and he would indulge us when it cost him nothing, but he looked on us primarily as a source of revenue. He had inherited an easy competence from his father, Lord Westerly, but he had gambled it away by the time I was five. My mother died soon after, worn out by the effort of keeping the household going. My older sister, Emily, was left to raise me and juggle the accounts. My father would be off with his grand friends. Now and again he would send some money when his luck was in. We managed.”
She drew in a deep breath and continued, her eyes fixed on the grazing horses. “Emily was a lovely girl; Caroline much resembles her. She caught Sir Alfred Hanscombe’s eye and he offered Papa a large settlement in return for his consent to a marriage. Emily loathed him and begged Papa to refuse, but he just laughed and said every girl needed a husband and Alfred was as good as any.
“I lived with them after the marriage—there was no place else for me. Sir Alfred’s infatuation didn’t last long, so I watched my sister dying before my eyes— withering away from neglect, casual cruelty, and beastly selfishness. After Caro was born, she just gave up. It wasn’t the birth that killed her—it was the lack of love.” There was a hard edge in her voice as her story went on.
“Caroline and I lived with one of my father’s sisters until Sir Alfred married Louisa a year later. Louisa is not a very warm woman but she believes in her duty and she brought Caro back to her father’s home. I would have kept her if I could, but I was only a child myself. For the next few years I was shuffled around among various relatives. Lady Hanscombe would have me sometimes—she considered it only fair that Caroline should know her aunt. Every year or so my father would pop in for a visit wherever I was staying.” She laughed bitterly.
“He was quite pleased at my progress. He said I was turning into a rare beauty and would fetch a fine price in the Marriage Mart—that he wouldn’t settle for less than an earl, and he’d not be surprised if I ended up a duchess. He said any man would be ‘proud to possess me.’ That I would be an ornament to any position.”
Jason drew his breath in sharply as he began to understand where her story was leading. She turned to look at him now, her lovely
face intense with memory. “I swore I would never follow the path he was choosing for me. That I would marry only for love, and I didn’t give a tinker’s dam for wealth or position.”
She looked down at her hands, and her voice came haltingly. “When I met you at that hunting party, my father was grooming me for a Season under the auspices of an aunt. I knew you were what I wanted—I had never felt so alive, or so close to anyone. I was sure you felt the same.
“When you offered for me that day, I was so eager to hear that you loved me. I didn’t know about your family or fortune, nor did I care. I just wanted to hear you say that you loved me and wanted to be with me always.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “I wouldn’t even have cared about marriage, really. I just wanted your love.”
Jason winced. “Instead I said you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, that I would be proud to have you as my wife. That you would be a credit to my position, that I could provide you with all of the comforts and some of the elegancies of life. And I said no word of love.”
He put his other arm around her and pulled her against his broad chest, raising her chin with one hand so her green gaze met his dark eyes. “Let me make up for that now. Jessica, I love you. I have never loved anyone else. As angry and bewildered and hurt as I was, I never stopped loving you, and I never could. You are maddening and independent and can ride as well as I can, and I love you the more because of that.”
He touched his lips to hers in a gentle, passionless kiss that was a pledge to all he said. Drawing back, he continued, “I too was raised in a home where love was a valueless currency. I was a younger son, of no great significance except as a ... a spare heir should my brother be untimely plucked. In a world that values fortune and position, I had only a small share of both. I hardly dared believe that you loved me for myself, so I offered what I thought you would value. I never dreamed that what you wanted I had in endless supply. I was very young then.”
He bent his head to give her another delicate kiss. “It would have been well-nigh impossible to say clearly what I felt, how much I desired and needed you.”