* * *
10
I ran to his side and caught him. “What happened?”
Max was on the phone with a 911 operator. He came over. “Sit down, Philip.”
I eased him to the floor. Ryan came in and stopped. “Oh my god!”
Max grabbed his arm. “Go to my office. Get the first aid bag.” He took off running.
Philip was struggling to breathe. Max pulled open his shirt. I could see the darker areas on his chest. I held him. “Hang on.”
Ryan returned. Max put the phone on speaker and had Ryan hold it. He handed me a pair of gloves and put on a pair himself. He carefully touched Philip’s face. “It looks like his jaw is broken and possibly the orbital on the left side.”
Yan and Amy walked in. Yan gasped. “No!” He came to the other side. “Philip! Was it Charlie and his gang?”
Philip managed to nod. Something inside me began to crumble. This was my fault. They had done this to Philip because of me.
I heard the distant siren. Max looked up at Amy. “Stand by the curb so they can see you.” She hurried back out the door.
I could feel him shaking. I was afraid of touching him in the wrong place. All I could do was let him lean on me and hope it wasn’t causing him more harm.
The paramedics came in with boxes and bags. I had to move out of the way. I stood in the corner of the room and watched everything. A police officer arrived and began asking questions. He was able to get enough information between Yan’s details and Philip’s yes or nos. They had jumped him on his way to the bus stop this morning. They’d beaten him with baseball bats. He had no way to explain the actual fight but he’d gotten away from them. Somehow he’d gotten onto the bus.
Max was astonished. “The bus driver didn’t say anything?”
The paramedics needed to take him to the hospital. The officer said he’d be there shortly. They took him out the door on a wheeled stretcher, loaded him into the back of an ambulance, and drove away.
Max went to his office for Philip’s emergency contact information. The officer looked at Yan. “Why did this gang attack him?”
Yan looked at me. “Because Charlie saw him with a white girl.”
The officer sucked in his breath. “Talk about a death wish.”
I shattered. Gravity started pulling on me. I began moving forward. I ran out of the dojo and I just kept going. I didn’t stop until I was at the apartment door. My hands were shaking so hard I couldn’t get the key into the hole.
Mom opened the door. Her eyes went wide. “Erin! What’s wrong?” She pulled me into her arms.
I just stood there shaking. Everything just started bubbling up and then it popped. “It’s my fault. They hurt him because of me.”
My mom held me for a long time. She finally got the whole story out of me. She ended up crying. I couldn’t. It felt like there was something wrong with me. My eyes were dry.
Mom finally controlled hers but she didn’t let me go. “I used to think what happened to your dad was my fault.”
I think my heart skipped a beat. She’d never talked about him before. I clung to her. “What happened?”
“He was in the army. It hadn’t even been his idea. One of his friends got him drunk and convinced him to enlist. He couldn’t back out.” Her voice was kind of monotone, like she was spilling out a memory. “His unit got sent to the Middle East. He was killed there.” She just kind of faded out.
“How old was I?”
Her breath got ragged. “You weren’t even born yet.” She began crying again. “He never even got to see you.”
I didn’t know what to feel. I should feel something. He was my dad. But I didn’t. I had never known him or anything about him. “What was his name?”
She pulled back and looked at me. “James Dawson. He was a good man.” Her face wrinkled up and more tears spilled out of her eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand. She opened the top drawer of the plastic set that held her clothes and pulled out a large envelope. She opened it and let the contents slide out. There were pictures and some documents. She found one and handed it to me. “That was our wedding picture.”
I looked down at the two smiling faces. My mom looked so young. “How old were you?”
“Eighteen. So was he. We had just graduated from high school. We were so in love. We decided to drive to Vegas and get married. So we did.”
I caught the tone change in her voice and looked over at her. Mom’s face had tightened. I touched her hand. “Mom?”
She struggled to swallow then took a shaky breath. “My daddy was so angry.” She pulled out one of the documents and unfolded it. I could see the fancy script. It was their marriage license. “He wanted us to get an annulment but I wouldn’t. I loved James and I didn’t care what my parents thought. We managed to find a small apartment. He was working for a construction company and I went to work at a diner. I found out I was pregnant with you the day after he left for basic training. When I told him, he cried. There was no housing for spouses at the base he was at. It wasn’t allowed for the new recruits.”
I looked at some of the other paperwork. I unfolded one. “Is this my birth certificate?”
She smiled and pointed at the little footprint in the corner. “That was your little foot when you were born.”
I looked at the location. “I was born in Las Vegas?”
She nodded. “My father came to our door one evening with a military Chaplin. He stood there while the man told me James had been killed in some battle that I never understood. My father just expected me to come home.” She began to tremble. “He actually suggested that I put you up for adoption so I could move on with my life.” She fell apart.
I caught her and pulled her into my arms. I don’t know how long we sat there like that. Everything that had been in her lap, all the pictures and papers, spilled on to the floor. I looked down at them as she cried. There were pictures of me when I was little. Even one of me and Fusan. Memory pieces. Just laying there on the floor.
The knock on the door made me jump. Mom sat up so fast she almost fell backwards off the cot. She looked terrified. I grabbed her arms. “Just breathe, Mom.”
I got up and went to the door, peered through the peephole. It was Max. Part of me was relieved but I felt a lot of other things, too. I’d run out on him. I had never done anything like that before. There was also this deep fear that I’d managed to push back. Was Philip still alive? I opened the door.
Max’s face grew even more concerned. “Erin!”
I struggled to focus on the air moving through my lungs. It was like a moment of unreality. I had to know. “How is Philip?”
He relaxed a little. “He will be in the hospital a few days. They had to wire a couple of his ribs and several bones in his face were broken.” He reached forward and caught me. “Erin, Yan was wrong to blame you. It was not your fault. You can’t control other people.”
“I did a lousy job of controlling myself today.” I had run away from my responsibilities. We had been trying to get new students and today the dojo had been down two instructors.
My mom came up behind me. “Erin, what is it? Is it Philip?”
I made introductions and mom invited Max in. “Let me put on some water for tea.”
Max looked around the bare rooms. We didn’t have much – on purpose. I offered him one of the folding chairs. “I’m sorry.” I struggled to control my voice. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. I know you were depending on me to take on new students today.”
Max took my hand. “Erin, that’s not even an issue. I closed the dojo today. Everyone understood. Susan called most of the students before they even left their homes and Ryan waited at the dojo for anyone who missed the call. I went down to the hospital to be with Philip’s foster parents. They were both very worried about him.”
“They would probably hate me.”
“Not at all.” He sighed. “I know it is a difficult issue but people are beginning to overcome it. To se
e the friendship developing between you and Philip, that is a wonderful thing.”
Mom brought cups, tea, and hot water to the table. “I thought he was a very nice young man.”
Max raised an eyebrow. “You have met him?”
She poured the water. “Yes. He walked Erin home last night. I was still at work so they came over. He’s very sweet. He even mopped the floor for Mr. Martinez.”
Max grinned. “That certainly sounds like Philip. From the first day he came to the dojo, he was always asking what he could do to help.”
I gave up my chair so mom could sit down. I pulled the trash bag out of the five gallon bucket, tied it up, and flipped the bucket over. It made a convenient stool. Mom started pulling bags out of the fridge. “Erin and I haven’t eaten since this morning. Can I interest you in some dinner, Max?”
“That’s very kind, thank you.” He looked over at me. I could tell he was concerned.
I watched the tea darkening the hot water in my cup. I wanted to say I was sorry over and over again but I knew it wouldn’t change anything.
Mom put some things into the oven to warm and sat down. “How long will Philip be in the hospital?”
“They aren’t sure yet. A few days at least. They had to wire his jaw so he won’t be able to eat regular food for about six weeks.”
“That’s horrible. Is anything being done about the people who attacked him?”
Max sipped his tea. “An officer took all the information but I don’t know beyond that.”
Mom shook her head. “What is this world coming to? It’s getting worse instead of better.”
I thought about the things Ms. Green had said in the Soc-Ec class. “There are too many people and not enough jobs. There’s an unequal balance of wealth in our society. That seems to be the root cause. We’re just seeing the effects.”
Max put his cup down. “That has been the case since people began living in cities thousands of years ago. I doubt it’s going to change. We can’t control something that big. We can only do our best to control how we react to it.”
He reminded me so much of Fusan at that moment. I got up and went to the pile of spilled pictures and found it. I brought it back to the table. “This is Fusan. He would have liked you.”
Max looked at the picture. “He was a Zen Buddhist monk.”
Mom frowned. “How can you tell?”
Max chuckled. “The sash he is wearing and the way he is standing. One of my teachers in Seattle was a monk. He was a very profound man, almost a hundred years old when I met him. He had seen so much of life.” Max glanced at the picture and smiled. “You were practicing Tai Chi with him. How old were you in this picture?”
My mom turned it over. “Three.”
Max laughed. “No wonder your form is so perfect. You’ve been practicing as long as I have.”
Mom grinned. “It took me a while to get used to the idea but I eventually just accepted it. No matter where we went, Erin always found somewhere to practice. I’m glad she found you.”
“I’m honored to have her as a Junior Master. She is an excellent instructor.” He hesitated. “I’m hoping you will come back.”
The arts were part of my life. It was like breathing. I did them without thinking about it. I couldn’t imagine not doing them. And I really liked Inyo Dojo. I liked Max and the other Junior Masters. But how would they feel about me now? “Do you think the others will want me back?”
Max’s face trembled a little. “Amy was beside herself when you ran off. We all were. She was mad at Yan. I think he realized that he’d made a mistake. I’m betting they will all want you to come back.”
Philip wouldn’t be there. That hurt. I had to take a really deep breath. “I don’t know where the hospital is but I’d like to visit Philip. If he wants to see me.”
“I can drive you over tomorrow evening. I’m certain he’ll want to see you.”
Mom reached across the table and took Max’s hand. “Thank you.” Tears were escaping the corners of her eyes. I felt like she was crying for me, too, because I couldn’t.
The timer beeped and mom took the food out of the oven. We ate in silence. After we’d finished, Max looked at his watch. “Thank you for your hospitality. It’s been a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Dawson.”
She shook her head. “That sounds too formal. Just call me Claire. And I’m so glad you came. We were both worried about Philip.”
“If there is anything that I can do to help you and Erin, please don’t hesitate to ask. Erin has told me about your concerns. If you feel there is someone threatening you, please say something. That isn’t right.”
My mom scrunched up her face into something that ended up a sad sort of smile. “Thank you, Max.” I could hear the catch in her voice.
I walked with Max down to the outside door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He grinned. “I’m glad to hear that. Good night, Erin.” He walked off toward his car.
I went back upstairs and helped mom tidy up. I took out the trash. When I came back in, mom handed me the envelope. “I’ve been saving these things for you. You should have them. I wrote on the backs of all the pictures so you would know where we were and who the other people in them were.”
I took the envelope and hugged her. “Thanks, Mom.” I put it in my backpack next to the folder of my school records.
She sighed. “We should probably get ready for bed.”
I hadn’t realized how late it was. It felt like the longest weekend of my life. I laid on my cot staring at the shadows on the ceiling for a long time after mom turned off the light. I finally convinced my brain to slow down enough to let me fall asleep.
In the morning, I pulled out Zu. He was one of the oldest sets that I had. The lines had begun to fade with the many washings. The fabric was getting thin in places. But I just couldn’t seem to give him up. He was a Sumerian chaos dragon. It felt appropriate. I kissed mom and headed out the door.
I had known from a glimpse out the window that it was foggy but I don’t think I’d ever experienced fog quite like this before. It was so thick you could even hear things before they were way too close. Drivers on the road were creeping along, fearful of hitting pedestrians or each other.
I was glad I had been paying attention to the small things the past couple of weeks or I might not have been able to find the school. As I got to the last turn, I could hear muffled voices ahead of me. I recognized two of them. It was Tony and David. I paused. They were talking to an older man. I could barely make out their forms in the fog ahead of me.
Tony sounded frustrated. “I’m doing the best I can.”
“You’re not focusing. What were you thinking going to that dojo this weekend?”
Tony scowled at David. “You told him?”
“Kind of, I mean, I wasn’t really thinking about it.”
“Oh, thanks so much.”
The man was annoyed. “Enough. I’m still waiting for some results.”
Tony gave an over exaggerated sigh. “I made a buy on Friday. It’s taken me forever to get that far.”
“It’s not good enough. Quick playing around. Stop focusing on the girl so much. You’re walking a fine line as it is.”
“She’s cool with it. It keeps Rita away and the boys think it cool. Scores me points. That’s what it takes to get me close to these guys.”
The man put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Where is your head supposed to be?”
“In the buy.”
“Good. I’m glad we have that understanding. What happened to the fights? I thought you two were using that strategy?”
David shrugged. “Erin kind of stopped them.”
“Exactly how involved is this girl? How much does she know?”
“Nothing.” Tony walked away and came back. “Look, if it weren’t for her, I would have been gutted like a fish on Friday. It would have been messy. She knows it’s an act. I don’t think she understands why.”
The man leaned closer t
o Tony. “And she better not. We have too much invested in this. I want the connection to those drugs. Are you hearing what I’m saying? Less with the girl. Go back to the fights. Get some results.” He handed both of them an envelope. “Here’s your allowance. Make it count.”
They waited until the man got in a car and drove away. Tony smacked David in the arm. “Why did you say something to him?”
“How was I supposed to know he was going to get bent out of shape?”
Tony growled. “Because he always gets bent over stupid shit?”
“Yeah. So, I have to go finish my homework for chemistry class. God, I hate that class.”
Tony snorted. “You’re the one who wanted to be the nerd.”
David sighed. “So we fight at lunch. Make it look good.”
“And what am I supposed to tell Erin? She made me promise not to bust your face.”
“Find an excuse.” David turned and was swallowed by the fog.
Tony stood there, kicking at the broken sidewalk and muttering to himself. I didn’t know what to do. The pieces had taken on a whole new dimension. They were buying drugs for someone else. I wondered about the man. Was he David’s father? I felt sorry for them. They looked trapped.
Tony finally looked at his watch, shrugged, and moved in the direction of the school. I’d been standing still long enough to gain a beaded coating on the surface of my rain coat. As I moved forward, tiny rivulets ran downward. Nature was crying for me because I couldn’t.
I found the school by the darker region in the fog. Kids were huddled under the overhangs, like they were clinging to the solid form of the building. Tony moved away from his buddies as I came up the last few steps. I felt my gut tighten. What was I going to do? I knew what he was doing was wrong but why was he doing it? I didn’t say anything to him as he jumped to open the door for me. I just kept going.
He caught up with me before I got to the stairs. “Erin, what’s up?”
The air seemed to stall in my lungs. Something clicked. “You’re buddy, Charlie, and his friends, almost killed Philip yesterday morning.” I kept walking.
He seemed to be struggling to make sense of what I’d said. “What? First of all, Charlie is not, never has been, or ever will be, one of my buddies. What happened?”
I stopped at my locker and stared at the stains. “They jumped him while he was headed for the bus. There were seven of them and they had baseball bats.”
Tony flopped against the lockers and closed his eyes. “Oh, shit. What shape is he in?” His voice was quiet.
“They broke bones in his face and smashed his ribs.” I grabbed a few books that had work I needed to finish.
“I’m sorry.” He took my hand. “I don’t know what that kid’s problem is.”
I was confused. Part of me wanted to pull my hand away but another part was glad he was holding it. What was wrong with me? I closed my locker and he put his arm around me and started walking toward the library. I felt lost. Was this all just an act to him?
He traced the designs on my jacket. “Which dragon is this?”
“Zu. He fits my mood today.”
Tony followed the head spikes over my shoulder. “He looks scary.”
“He’s a chaos dragon from Samaria.”
“I don’t know where that is but it must be a really chaotic place.”
“That’s probably why it doesn’t exist anymore. The remains are in modern day Palestine.” Mom had said my dad had died somewhere in the Middle East. Why was I suddenly thinking about that?
Tony stopped near the library door. “All of your dragons looks so serious or scary. Don’t you ever draw happy dragons?”
I hadn’t really thought about it. “I have a few.” He’d made a valid point. Most of my dragons were pretty fierce.
He leaned forward and his head rested against mine. The touch startled me. His eyes were mostly closed. “I know you have to go study.” He sighed. “I have to go see how much trouble the guys are getting in to. I’ll catch up with you at first bell.”
I glanced down the hall and saw the shadow at the corner. We were being watched. It was just for show. He was shorter that Philip. I could feel his breath on my face and gaged where his mouth was. I tilted my head upward and our lips met.
He went rigid and I could see white around most of his pupils. He broke the kiss. “What’s up with that?” His whisper barely moved his lips.
“Isn’t that what your audience expects?” He just stared at me. I pulled away. “I’ll see you later.” I went into the library and didn’t look back. I’m not sure I could have.
Emotions were rolling inside me. The touch of his lips had warmed me inside. Why was that? I didn’t feel for Tony the way I did for Philip. Why should the kiss make me feel the same way? It must be something biological. I had nothing else to compare it to. I moved to a quiet spot and tried to focus on my homework.
I got all the written work done then started on the reading assignment for Grapes of Wrath. The Joad family’s road trip toward California brought back bad memories, especially the death of the dog. I’d seen a dog hit on the road once. I’d begged my mom to stop so we could try to help it but she was afraid to. We were still too close to the place we were leaving. The death of Grandpa Joad was hard for me, too. I started wondering where my dad was buried.
The first bell rang and I gathered everything together. Tony was waiting outside the library. His face creased with concern when he saw me. “I wish I could do something to change that.”
“Do you really or are you just saying that?” I hadn’t meant it to come out so cold.
He put his arm around me and hugged me. He didn’t say anything. I glanced at him. His eyes looked glassy and his jaw was tight. We got to my locker and I left the books I didn’t need. The hall was packed and other kids were at their lockers, too. Tony stayed behind me like he was guarding me from something.
We walked to the science wing. I saw David up ahead of us disappearing into a different room. Tony still hadn’t said anything and I felt bad. I pivoted as we came up to the door. Tony was caught off guard. He stumbled forward. I reached out and caught him. We ended up in an embrace.
He looked down at me. “What is with you today? No, forget I asked that. It was a stupid question.” He leaned forward and hugged me. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
My throat felt tight. I backed up enough that I could see his face. “You stole my line.”
The bell rang. He looked ready to cry. “I’ll see you after class.” He let me go.
I turned and walked into the room. My emotions were spinning so fast I was dizzy. Mr. Yenny was at the front of the class room with some kind of apparatus. He was trying to connect wires. He turned and looked at the class then went to his desk. He sighed. “I left the papers in the office.” He looked at me. “Erin, you know where my desk is in the science office, right?” I nodded. “Could you please grab the papers and bring them here?”
I dropped my book on my desk. “Sure.” He wrote me out a hall pass and went back to fighting with his demonstration model and I went to the science office. The door was open but no one was there. I went to Mr. Yenny’s desk and grabbed the stack of papers.
As I turned around, something on a different desk caught my attention. There was a book open that had a two page spread of various chemical equations. I missed chemistry. It had been one of my favorite classes. I glanced at the equations and was startled. I looked at the heading in the margin. Analysis of Psychiatric Treatments. The complex chemicals were all drugs. I heard someone coming and hurried out of the room.
Mr. Yenny had gotten his contraption working by the time I returned. I handed him the stack of papers and took my seat. He handed them out. He’d liked my paper. The rest of class was spent talking about forms of alternative energy.
Tony walked with me to art class. He was quiet. He stopped before the short hallway that led to my classroom. He leaned close. “I know you don’t understand and I can’t e
xplain it.” I tried to look away but he gently pulled my face back. “I’m trying not to do anything that hurts you. If you’re not okay with this anymore…” His voice had become thick.
Movement behind us caught my attention. I was surprised. It was the guy who had tried to knife Tony on Friday. I leaned even closer to him. “I think you might have trouble. Behind you to your right.”
His breath caught. He pulled me into a hug and twisted me slightly. He tensed. “Oh boy. Capital T even.” He looked down at me. “This guy is bad news.”
And he was headed in our direction way too fast. I forced myself to relax. When he was close enough, I pulled Tony toward me, hooked my leg around him, and brought my toe up into the guy’s groin. He hissed and doubled over.
Tony had planted his hands on either side of my head to keep his head from colliding with mine. His look of shock turned to barely controlled amusement. “Oh, I bet that hurt.” He hugged me. “I’ll take it from here. You better get to class.” The bell rung.
“Be careful.” I let him go. He turned and grabbed the guy by the shoulders and brought his knee up into the guy’s face. I was pretty sure, watching him go down, that he was out for the count. I hurried to the classroom.
I had to start a new angle today. I took a fresh sheet of paper and went to the next open seat at my table. Another student came in. She looked at me as she passed. “I think your boyfriend got in trouble. He clobbered somebody in the hallway and Tillman sent him to the office.”
“Oh boy. Thanks.”
She looked at me. “At least he’s cute. Is he good for anything else?”
I glanced toward Ms. Gilbert, who was headed in our direction. “I’m on my third drawing in this set. How about you?”
She grinned. “Me, too.” She went to her seat.
Ms. Gilbert stopped beside me but addressed everyone at the table. “Remember, this is a series. Consider how you are going to link these separate drawings into something that has meaning. How can you get them to tell some kind of story?” She moved to another table.
I studied the still life. There were things on this side that had only been in profile in the last drawing. I thought about the sad little dragon peering through the flowers in the last one. What was he looking for? I began blocking the large shapes, looking for where the dragon might be hiding. The handles of the vase were at different angles now. But one of the objects that had been mostly hidden from view on the two previous drawings was in the foreground now. It was an old rusted lantern.
I thought about how dragons were often depicted as breathing out fire. This lantern hadn’t been lit in a very long time. The wick was gone and the smoky glass had a crack down one side. I could almost see the dragon, with his tail curled around the base of the lantern, searching for the long gone fire.
Tony didn’t show up between second and third period. Kevin looked surprised. So did David. He looked at me. “Do you know where he is?”
“I think he got sent to the principal’s office.”
“Why?”
I went into the classroom. “Did he tell you about the guy Friday after school?”
“Yeah. What’s he got to do with it?”
“He came after Tony in the hall by the art rooms.”
David went pale. “Is he okay?”
“Besides getting in trouble, Tony’s fine. Not so sure about the other kid. He’s going to be singing a little higher for a few days and Tony mashed his face.”
David fell into his seat. “Shit.” He looked down at his book. “My dad’s gonna whoop his ass.”
I stared at him. “Your dad doesn’t care that he beats on you? Why should he care if it’s someone else?”
“It’s complicated.”
Mr. Craig came in and we had to stop talking. I glanced over at him occasionally. He looked nervous. The bell finally rang. We both hurried out of the classroom. There was no sign of Tony. I dropped my books in the locker and headed for the cafeteria. He wasn’t there either. I was getting a sinking feeling. I went to my corner.
David got his lunch and sat across from me. “Tell me what happened.”
Another boy walked over and stopped next to David. “All right, Jensen. What the hell happened this morning? That was the fourth time it didn’t work. If we screw it up one more time, we lose the points.”
David looked annoyed. “I have no clue what’s wrong with it. I measured everything to the milligram. I know we followed all the instructions. We were both watching the timer this time. It turned out the same way.”
I closed my lunch. I couldn’t eat anyway. “What are you two talking about?”
David looked at me. “Chemistry. Logan is my lab partner.”
The other boy looked at me and got scared. “Are you nuts, Davy? You got some kind of death wish? That’s your cousin’s girlfriend. Why are you sitting by her?”
I looked up at him. “He’s in my math class. Any other questions?” He looked ready to faint. He backed away and disappeared into the crowd. I looked over at David. “What were you working on in chemistry class?”
David sighed and dug a binder out of his backpack. “The teacher has this set of cards. Each one has a different chemistry equation and directions. We have to get the end result specified on the card to get the points. We only get five tries.” He passed me his notebook. “We’ve had really lousy luck so far and Logan is afraid he’s going to flunk.”
I took the notebook and looked at the ingredients, directions, and chemical equation. “You should end up with a dark brown powder, probably about 400 milligrams worth.”
David gasped. “But that’s what we got. The card said we should end up with 350 milligrams of a white powder.”
“Not happening. Not with these ingredients.” I started paging back through his notes. “You have very nice handwriting.”
“Thanks.” He stared at the food on his tray. “How did you do that? How did you know what the end result would be?”
“I had AP Chemistry my sophomore year, at like six different schools. I just got really good at it.” I paused on one of the pages that David had written FAILED in big letters across the top. The ingredients had caught my attention. I flipped back to the current one.
“Are you breathing?”
David’s question startled me. I looked up at him. “Oh man. I got a bad feeling.”
“Like you’re going to puke?”
“Not that kind. You got a pencil handy?” He handed me one. I tore a blank page from the back and wrote out the first equation then the second one. Then combined the two end products. My mouth felt like cotton. “It’s Fluphenazine.”
“Come again?”
I really did feel sick. I’d seen it in the open book that morning. It had been on the list. But why? “It’s a drug. It’s used to treat certain medical disorders.”
David looked stunned. “How do you know that?”
“There was a book on Dr. Marsh’s desk.”
“You mean Professor Marsh?”
“Mr. Yenny said he used to be a psychiatrist. He’s a doctor, or at least he was.”
David looked like he’d just seen the monster in a bad horror movie. He was struggling to breathe. “Oh shit.” He closed his eyes. I was afraid he was going to fall off the bench.
There was a commotion behind me and Tony pushed through the crowd. He climbed over the table and grabbed David by the shirt collar. “What do you think you’re doing? That’s my girl!”
I shoved the paper into my pocket and closed the binder. Tony had caught David off guard and David was struggling to get his balance. I jumped up and rushed around the table. “Tony, stop it!” I used a modified version of Kote-Gaeshi, an Aikido technique, to break his hold. But Tony wasn’t giving up. He tried to get past me. David was struggling to breathe. I could tell he wasn’t faking. I blocked Tony again and got in his face. “He’s not faking. Back off.” Tony looked surprised.
Teachers came rushing into the lunch room. One of them was Dr. Marsh. He loo
ked shocked. He went to David’s side. “Mr. Jenson, can you hear me?”
Other kids had circled around to see the action. Rita pushed toward the front. She pointed at me. “She started it.”
Tony and David both looked confused. David held up his hands. “It was my fault. I started it.”
“Yeah, right. Since when? You never started anything in your life. That’s half your problem.” Tony was leaning against my arm. I decided not to let him fall.
Principal Granger came into the lunchroom. “What is going on here?”
Dr. Marsh looked bewildered. “I’m not really sure, sir. It seems to be between these three students.”
Principal Granger looked at us. His brows went up. “Mr. Burns! Didn’t you just get out of my office?”
“Uh, yup.”
He looked at David. “Here I thought you two were done fighting.” He looked at me. “And you’re in the middle of all of this.” He shook his head. “We will sort this out in my office. I’m certain you know the way, Mr. Burns.”
Tony slumped. “Yeah, as in permanently etched.” David and I grabbed our backpacks and followed Tony to the office. As we entered, Tony glanced at me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into this.” David’s expression was unreadable.
Principal Granger came in and sat down at his desk. “Who would like to start?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. David raised his hand and the principal nodded at him. “It was a misunderstanding. Erin and I have the same math class. We were just talking about the assignment. I know she’s Tony’s girlfriend.” He looked over at Tony. “He should have more faith in her than that.” He made a strange face at Tony.
Principal Granger looked at me and shook his head. “I’m not even going to ask.” He looked at Tony. “And what do you have to say for yourself Mr. Burns?”
Tony looked upset. “I don’t really care what you think about me but don’t you dare put Erin down because of this. You were right. Davy and I had stopped fighting. It was because of Erin. She’d asked me not to.” He looked down. “I guess I was just frustrated. That other kid did attack me and I should have the right to defend myself.”
He sat quietly watching us. The bell rang. I could hear students rushing through the halls. He sighed. “Very well. I must admit, I hadn’t seen the two of you in a few days. That was a marked improvement on your record.” He looked at me. “Please excuse my earlier remark.”
“Yes, sir.” I looked over at David. His eyes went wide and he shook his head. I shrugged and looked at Tony. He just looked confused.
Principal Granger rose. “Since the bell has already rung, I will have Ms. Caston write out hall passes for you. I hope that I will not see you back in my office anytime soon.”
We followed him out. While Principal Granger spoke to the secretary David leaned close to Tony. “Erin found the source.”
I thought he was going to fall over. “What? Where?” His whispers were like short breaths.
Ms. Caston handed each of us a hall pass. I heard my name called and turned. Ms. Henning was coming down the hall. “I heard you were in the office. Come back to mine for a moment.”
Tony groaned. “I’m sorry I got you in so much trouble.”
I found his hand and squeezed it. “I’ll see you in Lit.” I followed Ms. Henning back to her office.
She pointed to the chair. “It actually saved me from having to pull you out of class.” She sat in her own chair. Her face was creased with worry. “I got a phone call from Mr. Utek at Lincoln.” All of my worries over Tony and David dropped into the background. I tensed. She opened a folder and pulled out a document. “He sent this to me. Someone by the name of Johnathan Harmond somehow got a court order to get your school records.” She handed me the form.
I stared at the signature. Where did I know that name from? I swallowed hard, dropped the page, and opened my backpack. My hands were shaking. I fought with the metal clasp on the envelope. It took me a moment to find it. I unfolded the marriage certificate. I looked at my mother’s parents’ names – Grace and Johnathan Harmond.
Ms. Henning touched my arm. I jumped. “Erin, what is it?”
The world felt like it was collapsing in on me, trying to suffocate me. I looked back at the form. It had been received by the school this morning. He knew where we were. “He’s my grandfather.”
“Is that an issue?”
A thousand questions began spinning around in my mind? Why had he been doing this to us? No. To my mom! It felt like something had wrapped around my chest and was squeezing. What had mom said? He’d wanted her to give me up for adoption. She obviously hadn’t done that. Was this retaliation? I looked at the time stamp. Nine in the morning. But that was Omaha time. I looked up at the clock. It was almost one. He’d had almost six hours. The realization was sinking in. “My mom could be in danger. I have to go!”
I shoved my things back into my backpack and ran out of her office. Ms. Henning looked startled. She called after me but I didn’t stop. I just kept going. The secretary looked up as I rush by. She tried to call me to wait. I needed a hall pass.
Tony was leaning against the wall a ways down the hallway but I ran out the door. I hit the sidewalk and ignored the light rain that was falling. I didn’t have time to stop and put on my rain coat. I knew mom should be at work by now so I headed for the diner. I heard my name and glanced back. Tony was running after me. I didn’t care.
I got to the corner and had to wait for the light. Tony caught up with me. We were both drenched. He sucked in air. He couldn’t even talk. I didn’t have time to explain. “I have to go. My mom could be in danger.” I didn’t wait. The light changed and I ran across the street. I could see someone standing not far from the entrance to the diner. He was wearing a long dark overcoat.
I was two shops away when mom ran out the front door of the diner. Someone was following her. She turned the other way, saw the man down the street, and tried to duck between a couple of parked cars. The man chasing her grabbed her arm. She kicked him. He lost his grip on her and she stumbled backwards. I was almost to her. I saw the bus at the last moment. I don’t think she did at all.