* * *
7
I felt Philip tense. He let me go and faced Yan. “I was saying goodnight to Erin.”
The tension on Yan’s face worried me. I saw the headlights of the bus coming toward us and tugged on Philip’s arm. “Your bus is almost here. You don’t want to miss it.”
Philip looked down at me. “Thank you. I will see you tomorrow.” He ran for the bus stop. The bus rolled to a jolting stop and Philip got on.
I didn’t say anything to Yan. I just turned and walked home. I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had begun to crawl into the pit of my stomach.
Wednesday morning the sky tried to drown the city. Sui Riu was soaked through by the time I got to school. I was wearing Zirnitra, a Welsh dragon. This was one of the few sweatshirts I owned. Tony and his boys were tight against the building under the overhang. They were the only ones on the front steps this morning.
Tony grinned at me and met me at the door, opening it for me. “I missed you after school yesterday.”
“I had to go to work.” I went in and Tony followed.
The halls were crowded. Everyone was gathered in smaller groups, talking and laughing. Rita and her clutch came up the stairs as I headed for the other staircase to go up to the next floor. She saw me and her face crunched up. She came up the stairs behind me. I increased my pace. I don’t like potential opponents coming up behind me. Tony huffed beside me and I realized he was still following me.
I went to my locker and pulled out a few things I needed to finish. He leaned on the locker next to mine. “Where are you headed?”
I didn’t look at him. “The library.”
He looked thoughtful. “I get it. You go to work after school so you do your homework before school. That makes sense.”
I saw Rita coming toward me and closed my locker. She looked sour. She started to advance on me. I sidestepped and got out of her way. She hit my locker, turned, and stared at me. “You can’t steel my boyfriend!”
Tony snorted. “She doesn’t have to. She has me.”
Rita looked like she’d been slapped. I slipped away and headed for the library. I found a quiet corner and finished my homework. I went back to my locker to trade out books for first period. Tony and David were in the middle of an argument. I had no idea what it was about but it looked like Tony was getting ready to take out his frustrations on David. I started for my locker. I don’t know if it was Max’s speech or the chapter I’d just read in the Grapes of Wrath but something made me turn around. I stopped just behind Tony, who had his fist raised to punch David. “Make a better choice.”
He jumped and spun around to look at me. His eyes were wide and he was struggling to breathe. “Damn! Don’t do that!”
David looked just as shocked. So did everyone around us, especially his buddies. I shrugged and went to class. A girl came and sat next to me. I couldn’t remember her name. She looked apprehensive. “Are you seriously going out with Tony Burns?”
“I’m not going out with anyone.”
“He thinks you are.”
“I can’t help what he thinks.” Mr. Yenny came in. I opened my textbook and pulled out my finished assignment.
She dropped her voice. “Rita thinks so, too.”
“I can’t help what she thinks, either.” I handed in my assignment.
Art class was quiet for a change, mostly because the rain was pounding so hard on the windows no one could compete with it. I started putting in the fine details to the picture. Ms. Gilbert paused to watch. She looked between the image and the still life a few times. “I like the balance in your composition.”
The dragon was far more visible in this drawing than the previous one. He looked like he was crouched on the vase with his head peering out through the dried flower arrangement. It wasn’t obvious unless you really looked at it.
There was no sign of Kevin again but Tony was waiting at my locker. Literally. He was leaning on it. A couple of his boys were down the hall, watching. I stopped in front of him. “Excuse me. I need to get my books for class.”
He didn’t say anything but moved to the side with his back to the boys. I got my books and headed for math class. He followed me to the door. “See you at lunch.”
I shook my head and went to my seat. David came in a moment later. He sat down across from me and stared. “Are you seriously going to go out with my cousin?”
I looked at him. “Why does everyone assume this?”
He had an odd look on his face. “He walked you to class.”
“He followed me to class. There’s a difference. I can’t control his actions. I can only control mine. I have no intention of going out with him.”
David looked relieved. “Are you going out with someone else?”
I was spared from dealing with that answer by the entrance of Mr. Craig. “Homework forward. Please close your books and face the front.” He passed out papers. A few of the students groaned. I accepted the test and waited for instructions. “Please remember to write your name and date on the top. If I don’t have a test with your name on it, you will not get a grade. You may begin.”
I finished the test and reviewed my answers. Then I sat quietly. Others had also finished. They fidgeted in their desks. Maybe it’s a learned behavior from sitting zazen in the dojo. I appreciate stillness. Mr. Craig finally called an end and collected the tests.
David looked over at me. “How do you think you did?”
“I finished the test.” I don’t look back at things once they are done. I focus on what’s going on around me at the moment. Mr. Craig launched into the next topic – statistics. He was using an example of population growth in the Seattle-Tacoma area. I found the topic interesting.
Tony was waiting at my locker again after math class. “Isn’t that class boring?”
“No.”
He stepped to the side so I could get into my locker. I decided to grab my Soc-Ec book so I wouldn’t have to go through this after lunch. He followed me to the cafeteria. He got his lunch and sat across from me. I wondered how long I was going to have to put up with this.
He watched me eat. “What is that?”
I ignored him and finished my lunch. He finished before I did. He crossed his arms on the table in front of him, rested his chin on them, and stared at me with a sad puppy expression. I put the container in my backpack. I looked at him. “Why me?”
He looked surprised. “Because you’re different.” He pointed at my shirt. “You’re a Dragon Lady.”
I panned across the room. Numerous people were watching us. Some looked surprised, Tony’s boys looked curious, David looked worried, and Rita looked annoyed. I studied Tony, wondering how to solve his puzzle without encouraging him. “Why don’t you like Rita?”
He half laughed. “The only thing in her head is her ego.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I kept looking at him. “Why do you think I would go out with you?”
He pouted. “I’m cute and funny?”
I shook my head and stood up. “You and Rita have a lot in common.” His face fell. I left the lunch room.
He caught up and was about to say something when David came up to him. “Why are you following her around like that? Can’t you see what’s obvious? She’s smart. She doesn’t want anything to do with you.”
Tony growled and spun around, arm cocked. “Why you…”
I turned and pushed down on his fist. His momentum caused him to spin. I kept him from face-planting into a locker. He looked startled. I turned to David. “You are smart when it comes to classes but you’re lost when it comes to life. Get smart in that category. Don’t instigate.”
David’s brow creased. “I was just trying to help you.”
“I don’t need your help.” I looked at Tony. “Leave him alone.” I walked away. I turned the corner and looked back. Tony and David were whispering to each other. David looked concerned. “What are you doing?”
“They guys are watching me. What am I
supposed to do? It’s not like it’s an issue.”
“You’re going to get in trouble.”
“Nothing is going to happen.” A couple of the boys came down the hall. Tony scowled and raised his voice. “You’re lucky I promised her I wouldn’t pound you!” He swung around and went off with the guys.
I went to my next class. Rebecca wasn’t there. I sat alone in my corner, trying to figure out what was going on with Tony and David. Ms. Green came in and called the class to order. She continued the lecture about the rift that still existed in the south between the people of different colors that she had started yesterday. I wondered how people felt about that here. I hadn’t noticed any mixed couples in school. It made me think about Philip. I had no idea if he had a girlfriend or if he’d even consider me a candidate because he was very dark-skinned and I was very pale. I remembered his arm around me the night before. Could he be interested in me?
Tony was waiting for me by the class room door and fell into step beside me as I went to my locker. He leaned against the one next to mine. “Is that sad face because of me?”
The question startled me. “Why do you think I look sad?”
He shrugged. “You always look serious but right now you just look sad.”
I closed my locker and noticed that he already had his books for Senior Lit. It was the only books I’d ever seen him with. He followed me to class and sat beside me. David came in and frowned. He sat in front of me but didn’t say anything. Tony sat watching me.
I tried to decide if I was actually sad. “How do you feel when you read the Grapes of Wrath?”
David turned around and looked at us. Tony picked up the book and flipped the pages with his thumb. “Angry. It’s not fair, all the bad things that happen to that family.”
Professor Linton was watching us but I don’t think David or Tony noticed. “Do you know why I like Tom? In chapter eight when his Ma is worried that he’s gone mad in prison, Tom says he just let’s stuff run off of him. I understand that. I don’t get angry or sad. I don’t let things offend me.”
David looked down. “How do you do that?”
I looked up at Professor Linton. He looked thoughtful. He glanced around the class. “Let’s talk about the two main characters that we’ve met so far – Tom Joad and Jim Casy.” By the end of class, I liked Casy even less.
Tony followed me out of the room and back up to my locker. He waited while I put my books away and walked with me to the gym. “Do you have to go to work after school again?”
“Yes.” I moved toward the locker room.
“Be safe.”
I turned and looked back but he was already gone. There had been a different quality to his voice. I tried to dismiss it but it haunted me. I forced myself to pay attention and managed to steer clear of Rita. I was relieved to escape school.
The rain was coming down so hard that it felt like something pressing me into the ground. I was drenched within just two blocks. Max looked up as I shed my coat and shoes. I looked at the dripping mess. “I really don’t want to bring all this water into the dojo.”
Max laughed. “I appreciate your concern but I doubt the other students with even consider it. It’s all right. I’m used to it. I just mop up at the end of the night.”
I carried it as carefully as I could and went to change. Philip was just coming in as I left the locker room. He was dripping wet, too. I considered the chill. “I’m going to make some tea. Would you like a cup?”
He smiled broadly. “You are too kind. Yes, please. I’ll be out in a moment.” He ducked into the men’s side.
I went into the kitchen and pulled out a couple of cups. I picked out the tea he seemed to prefer and found the one I liked. By the time he came into the kitchen, the tea had steeped and was ready to drink. I watched him sip the tea. He smiled. I felt better. “Did I get it right?”
He laughed. “You’re hired!”
My cheeks felt warm. Maybe it was the tea. Amy and Steven came into the kitchen. I got out of the way so they could make tea. Two of the afternoon classes were continuations of Monday. These were three-a-week classes. The last afternoon class was a two-a-week class. I had worked with different kids in this slot the past Wednesday and Friday. Today, Max assigned me to a group of six different students. They were all girls about my age. They looked uncomfortable and I wondered if it was because of the lack of age difference.
Max came into the classroom and bowed. We all bowed back. He came to the front of the classroom. “This is Erin Dawson. She is our newest junior master here at Inyo Dojo. I have asked her to take over this class because I think you will be more comfortable working with a woman who is close to your age. I know some of you think that self-defense is about being stronger or bigger than your attacker. That is not the case.”
I had been watching Max, hoping for some clue of what I was supposed to be teaching. I saw his intent. I blocked his grab, got him off center, and knocked him down. I didn’t even think about it.
Max looked up at me from the mat. “Thank you.” I helped him up and turned back to the class. They looked surprised. “I didn’t warn Erin ahead of time that I was going to do that.”
One of the girls raised her hand. “What movement was that?”
Max looked at me. I honestly didn’t know what techniques I had used. I looked at the girls. “When you are in a self-defense situation, you don’t think about moves. You use principles of balance. Your goal is to remain in balance while unbalancing your opponent. It’s physics. The first step is to prevent your attacker from getting a hold of you.” Max grabbed for my arm. I went with his movement and swung it around. “This just put him out of balance.” I grabbed Max’s wrist and pulled him forward. He landed at my feet. “If you’re worried that the attacker is going to get up and chase you, give him something else to think about.” I touched my tow to Max’s shoulder, knee, and hip.
The girls giggled. Max sat up. “Erin is absolutely right. As a young woman, it is more likely that a potential attacker is going to be male. A kick in the balls makes it hard for a man to think about anything else.”
I helped him to his feet. We bowed to each other and he left me to teach the class. It didn’t take me long to understand why he’d given these girls to me. They had all been very shy with Max in the room. By the end of class, I had gotten to know them well enough for them to trust me. They were all victims of attacks.
Amy sat on one side of me at dinner. Philip was in his usual place on my other side. Amy was strangely quiet. After I had finished eating, I turned and looked at her. She was staring at her empty plate. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t look up. “I lost it today in school. My parents are going to freak when they find out.” Her voice was very soft. She looked over at me. “That’s the whole reason I started training at the dojo. My father thought it would teach me control.”
“What happened?”
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “There’s this guy at school. He’s really annoying. He picks on everybody. He’s big and everyone is afraid of him, even the teachers. He grabbed one of my friends so I broke his hold. And then he turned on me.” She looked ready to cry. “I saw him coming and smashed him in the face.”
Others around us had turned to listen. Steven was sitting on the other side of her. “That sounds like self-defense to me.”
I bit my lip and glanced at Max. He looked concerned. I looked back at Amy. She was watching me. “What would you have done?”
I reached out and took Amy’s clenched fist. “You can’t change what has already happened but consider another option in the future. When anger rushes at you, get out of the way.”
She nodded and squeezed my hand. “Thanks.”
Steven hugged her. “Did you get in trouble at school?”
“Not yet. It was the end of the day. There weren’t any teachers around. But I’m sure they will have heard about it by tomorrow. The kids were all talking about it.”
Steven kept
his arms around her shoulders. “Considering the situation, even in the light that there might have been a better solution, I still think self-defense was warranted. It’s not like you had time to think about it.”
I considered it. “Were there other kids around you?”
“A bunch.”
“There is a chance that another student could have been hurt if you hadn’t stopped his motion. Every situation is unique. The circumstances may have called for force. I think what’s more important, though, is that you take responsibility for the choice you made. Don’t wait to be called to the office. Go to the office and explain what happened.”
Amy looked uncertain. “I kind of have this record at school. I used to get in trouble a lot.”
“I don’t think this is the same thing. And maybe it will show that you’re more responsible now.”
Max got up and came over. “Amy, if you’re really worried, I’ll talk to your dad when he comes to pick you up. We’ll explain it to him together.”
Her bottom lip trembled a little. “Thanks, Max.”
I looked at the clock. The students for evening classes would be coming in any moment. I took Amy’s plate. “I’ll take care of this. Take a moment to breathe.” I went into the kitchen.
Philip followed me. “You are very special.” He took the plates and set them on the counter. He hugged me.
I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment. “Thank you.” I gently pulled away and washed the dishes. The feeling of his touch lingered. I’d never felt anything like that before and it confused me.
Evening classes went by quickly. Robert was in my last evening class. After it ended, I pulled him aside. “How is your sister? She wasn’t in school today.”
“She’s really sick. Mom took her to the doctor and he sent her to the hospital.”
My chest felt tight. “I hope she gets better.”
“I’ll tell her that. Thanks, Miss Erin.” He went to change.
Philip came in the classroom. “What’s wrong?”
“Robert’s sister goes to my school. She got really sick in class the other day and he said she ended up in the hospital.”
“That’s terrible.” He put his arm around me and gave me a hug. “You have a kind heart. I see it in the way you treat others. You care.”
I’d had a few adults say things like that to me before but never anyone my own age. It was different, especially since it was coming from Philip.
Amy and Max headed for the front of the dojo. They met a man who I assumed must be Amy’s father. Philip and I paused at the corner and watched. Amy explained things to her father. He looked upset at first but Max said something to him and he relaxed. He gave Amy a hug and they walked out together.
Philip sighed and pulled me toward the kitchen. “Max is special, too. He is why I kept coming back.” He chuckled. “When I first came to America and saw television movies about martial arts, I thought it looked cool so that was why I started to come to class. But Max taught me that it’s not about being cool. It’s about being in control of ourselves. And so I have continued.”
I looked at Philip and smiled. “You’re special, too.”
His smile broadened into a toothy grin. “You should do that more often. That smile looks beautiful on you.”
My cheeks felt warm but there was no tea to blame for it this time. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He let me go and I went into change.
When I came out, Yan was talking to Philip. I hung back, not wanting to interrupt. Yan shook his head. “I’m just saying, you’ve got to be careful. Isn’t it like that in South Africa?”
Philip sighed. “It is even worse there than it is here.” His voice sounded heavy. “A man could get killed just for looking.”
“And there are places here where it’s like that.” Yan put his duffle bag over his shoulder. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Yan waved and went outside.
I backed away and went into the kitchen. I was trembling. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to Philip because of me. I’d seen that happen in other places. Ms. Green had talked about it in Soc-Ec class.
Max came out of his office and stopped. “Erin?”
I was afraid to look at him. Max is one of those people who can read right through you. I studied my cup of tea. “Why is our world such a messed up place?”
He leaned against the counter. “If you ever figure out an answer to that question, be sure to let the rest of us know.”
I glanced at him. He was grinning. I hurt too much. I went back to studying my tea. I had never even thought about a guy before and now, before I really got started, there was this wall between us because his skin was a different color.
Philip came in. “There you are.” He paused. “Are you okay?”
I got myself under control and held up my cup of tea. “I just feel dehydrated tonight and with the chilly rain, I figured a cup of tea was a good solution.”
He grinned. “Well, have a good night. I have to go catch my bus.”
Max and I both said goodnight to him. Max looked at me. He waited until the front door chime rang. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I sipped at the tea. “I could help you mop floors.”
He shook his head. “Erin, what happened?”
I wasn’t sure how to explain things. This wasn’t something I’d even spent time thinking about and I’d never talked about relationships with anyone. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
Max frowned. “Were you bothered by Philip’s attention?”
“No.” I looked at my reflection in the tea. “I’ve never really had anyone pay attention to me like that.” Except for Tony, but that was different.
“Did it make you uncomfortable?”
I looked up at Max. “It made someone else uncomfortable.”
He looked confused. “Why?”
“I think because I’m white and Philip isn’t. I don’t want Philip to get hurt because of me. I guess that’s an issue in the school he goes to.”
Max closed his eyes and sighed. “Now I understand your question. I still have no answer for it.” He poured a cup of hot water and put in tea to steep. “You’ve met my wife, Susan. When we first started dating, there were others, some on my side and some on hers, who made certain comments because she was an American and I was an Italian. I had come to America when I was fifteen with my family. My English was passable but I didn’t understand many of the phrases that are so common, especially among young people. We had our own version of Westside Story.”
“Modern day Romeo and Juliet. But it seems to have worked out. You’re both still alive.”
Max chuckled. “Yes, we are, and we have two wonderful children and three grandchildren. And we still love each other very much. I think we are very fortunate.”
“You’re lucky.” I thought about my mom. “I’ve often wondered about my dad. My mom never talks about him.”
“Is that who she’s running from?”
“I don’t know.” I thought about what I had discovered. “But I know she’s not crazy. There really is someone following us. And I found out they’re using my school records to do it.”
Max gasped. “What?” I told him what’s I’d learned from Ms. Henning. “Erin, this is serious. Has your mother gone to the police?”
I chewed on my lower lip. “She didn’t say but from what she told me, I’m betting the police wouldn’t take it seriously. It’s never the same person but they are out to intimidate her. They stare at her, follow her around, nothing illegal, just annoying. What I don’t understand is why.”
Max stirred his tea slowly. “Have you ever seen these people?”
I really thought about it. “Not directly but someone is getting into my school files. And they lied to the school counselor in Omaha so they aren’t legitimate.”
Max nodded. He looked at me. “Have other people suggested to you that your mother was crazy?”
I finished my tea and wa
shed the cup. “She’s not.” I turned and looked at him. “My mom has been trying to protect me from something since I was six years old. And there have been times when I’ve known someone was following us.”
“Erin, I apologize if I offended you. My question wasn’t intended that way. I was thinking more that maybe that was the purpose of whoever is sending these people to follow your mother.”
It sunk in. “Someone is purposefully trying to make my mother crazy?”
“Or perhaps trying to make others believe that she is.”
I wrapped my arms around my trembling body. “I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell her. I hate seeing her upset. The last thing I want to do is make her nervous. I’m afraid she’ll want to leave.”
Max came over and put his hands on my shoulders. “Just breathe.”
I fought to pull my bubble of stillness around myself. I focused on the air moving through my lungs. Max let me go. I struggled to keep my balance without his calm support. I looked at him. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think you need to talk to your mother. She needs to understand how much her decisions are impacting you.”
I picked up my pack and moved to the door. The sound of the pounding rain drummed on the roof of the overhang. It looked like a crystal wall stood between me and the nearest streetlight.
Max had followed me to the door. He frowned. “Erin, please let me give you a ride. The way it’s coming down, you’ll drown before you get home.” I gratefully accepted his offer. He stopped in front of our building. “If there is any way that I can help you and your mother, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thank you, Max.” I got out and dashed the short distance to the door. I watched him drive away and then went up the stairs.
Mom was already home. She looked damp but I could smell the scent of her shampoo. She’d taken a shower. She was sitting at the table counting money. She looked up at me. “I can’t believe how much I made in tips today. Between this and my pay check, we’re looking pretty good. I’m going to divide the funds into the stashes.” She handed some to me. “Add this to your envelope.”
I pulled out my backpack and opened the front pocket. I pushed my gee aside and felt for the thin opening at the bottom of the pocket. I pulled out the envelope. “I still have twenty dollars in here.”
“That’s good. I’d like to get all of the stashes back up to two hundred again, just to be safe. I don’t like getting this close to nothing. There’s only fifty in the car stash right now.”
I added the two tens to my envelope and replaced it. We’d been keeping our funds like that ever since we’d lost almost everything in a frightening mad dash a few years back. I sat down on the other folding chair and tried to steady my nerves. “Mom, there’s something we need to talk about.”
I watched the expression on her face. She put everything down and looked at me. Her gaze was intense. I let her study me for a moment. Her gaze fell on my hand. The bruise had mostly faded but it was still there. Her face wrinkled. “Erin, what happened to your hand?”
I sighed. “My hand collided with someone else’s in the hallway at school. He apologized.” I didn’t want her to turn the topic before I even got started. “This is a good place. You like your job, I like the dojo, and I’ve got good teachers.” At least that was true. “I really want to stay here.”
She took my hand gently in hers. “Even with things like this going on in school?”
“I’m managing. I’ve even made a couple of friends.” I could see the little wrinkles forming at the edges of her eyes. “How can I help you feel safe here?”
She stood up and pulled me into her arms. “Oh, Erin. I don’t know.” She pulled back enough to look at me. “What will we do if they find us again?”
“You’ll tell me who they are and I’ll deal with them.”
Her face creased with concern. “How?”
“I want to know what they want from us and why they are harassing you. I want to look one in the face and ask him directly.”
Mom shook her head. “And what if they grab you?”
“I don’t think they could.”
She hugged me tightly. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”
I could feel her trembling. I held her. “I won’t let them.”
She let me go. “I need to get this money put away. Why don’t you get ready for bed?”
I felt defeated. I still hadn’t told her about someone trying to get into my files. I put my backpack under my cot and pulled out my sweats. I took a shower. By the time I was finished, she was in her bed.
She looked over at me. “We’ll manage. We always do.” She turned out the light.
Thursday was like a bad rerun of Wednesday. The downpour continued. Tony followed me around from the time I got to school, in between all my classes, at lunch, and even after school. He caught up with me at the front door as I was pulling on my rain coat. I struggled with it.
Tony reached over and helped me pull it on. “Let me help you with that.”
I headed out the door. He followed. I looked back at him. “I have to go to work.”
He stopped and stood in the pouring rain. The expression on his face was too much. I went back and pushed him out of the downpour into the shelter of a building overhang. He looked startled. “Erin, I…”
Movement not far from us caught my attention. I pushed him back farther under the overhang. His eyes went wide. I leaned close and dropped my voice. “Don’t say another word.”