I discovered by chance that I had the power to see behind closed doors.
Both astonished and delighted, I went to the reception hall and found the Brotherhood gathered around a gaming table. The young woman who served the drinks invited me to take a vacant seat. Feeling confident, I obliged her.
Looking at the back of the cards, I could see which ones they were, and pulled in great winnings. But then I heard a voice telling me, He Who granted this power is able to withdraw it if it is used to do evil.
So I withdrew from the game and made for the buffet, and at the night’s end, the young lady came to inform me that the winner at the table had been found murdered and robbed. I was astounded, and the woman told me that she hated this profession.
I offered her my hand. She gave me hers, and we walked out together without resisting.
Dream 161
At first the lissome, enchanting young woman hovered around me. Then she took me by the arm into a hidden-away corner, where there was a carriage to which a donkey was harnessed. She boarded it and motioned to me, so I also got in, huddling next to her.
She took the reins and drove the carriage with skill. The donkey began to move very slowly down the street jammed with people and and all sorts of vehicles, until it reached the Desert Road. Then it began to go faster and faster as though racing the cars and buses, until it seemed to fly in the air.
“Where are we going?” I asked the bewitching one in fright.
“To wherever the donkey stops,” she replied, “when he runs out of steam.”
Dream 162
I decided to walk all the way from the southern end of the Nile Valley to the northern one.
At the start of the journey, I met the girl who had been my sweetheart in childhood and early manhood. She had recklessly put on weight, and advised me to get married instead of undertaking this pointless trek.
I thanked her and resumed my march, until I encountered my friend “M” sitting crosslegged on a prayer rug. I was amazed—for I remembered him from the days of godlessness and rowdyism. “Guidance comes from God on high,” he said to me, inviting me to sit next to him: I wished him well as I bid him goodbye.
Then, halfway in my journey, I ran into “B”: I kept staring at her until she responded, “I waited until you proposed to my father, but you didn’t take a single step after the examination—and what’s the reason for that?” I told her that I, like her, wondered about it too.
Afterward I went back to my walk. And when I reached the north, sore-footed and fatigued, I saw my immortal beloved, the lower half of her body immersed in the waters of the Mediterranean, the upper half illuminating all that was around her.
In her melodious voice, she asked me, “What have you gained from this arduous sojourn?”
“How can a love without the least bit of hope endure through such a long, difficult life?” I asked her in return.
Dream 163
Hospital Square in Abbasiya saw my first meeting with Miss “R.” We talked about love and despair until I cut it off by saying, “Love is not enough.”
We next met at the Tea Island at the zoo, but she was then the widow “R,” who came to seek help from me having to do with her government job. The encounter revived buried feelings, leading to a conversation about love on my side, and despair on hers—for she was raising four children on her own.
Then she cut it off by saying, “Love is not enough.”
Dream 164
At the house of my girlfriend, Mrs. “H,” her sister’s daughter told me that she had gone to see her doctor, and she herself would like to drink some café. So, inspired by our being alone together, I took her hand and drew her to my side.
Suddenly Mrs. “H” came in, and her expression changed: “Go to your mother at once,” she ordered the girl. Then she fixed me with a stony look, and I left.
A downpour began, and I—longing for the young girl—went out of the house oblivious to all around me, calling out to her as I trudged through the deluge. Soon I heard the voice of Mrs. “H” wailing to me, as all three of us drowned in the rain.
Dream 165
I read a magazine article by Prof. “ ‘Ayn” that was cruelly critical of my person and my works.
Then he materialized before me apologetically, saying that he intended the article to lay the basis for a dialogue between us. This would generate an uproar that could bring the departed back to life.
“Who would believe in this dialogue,” I told him, “when you’ve been dead for fifteen years?”
“It depends on the fact that the present generations have lost all memory,” he replied.
“Your article,” I rejoined, “is dearer to me than stark indifference or deceitful flattery.”
Dream 166
I was in a private train heading to the Land of Light. The car was empty: its emptiness frightened me. I felt around for my wallet, as fears unsettled me, and I resolved to get off at the first stop.
At the station’s platform, I saw a group of men, their expressions dripping with evil and aggression. My fears mounting, I went back to my cabin. A handsome woman came in, taking a seat not far from me. “Did the men bother you?” I asked her.
“They are extremely polite and well-mannered,” she replied.
Assailed by doubt, I suspected her of conspiring with them to attack me. I went to another car to prepare to defend myself. When the train arrived at the Land of Light, I got off at its first park, where there were endless breaths of breeze perfumed with the scent of roses, jasmine, and henna trees.
Sleepiness slipped through my eyelids, and I surrendered myself to it, forgetting all about my wallet and my fears. I slept a deep, quiet sleep, to the sounds of music welling from within.
Dream 167
This was a production company: here was the managing director informing me that text I had presented to them had been read by the director and that he was satisfied with it.
“Here’s the contract and the check,” he said, “although we have apportioned the text thus: your name is on the story, while the distributor’s name is on the scenario, and my name is on the dialogue. This is all for the sake of the film’s box office success.”
I accepted this grudgingly, when the film’s director entered, and looked over the contract. “Where am I in all this?” he shouted.
“Maybe we can put your name on the story along with the author’s,” the producer replied.
Anger overcoming me, I said, “I give up any claim to the story whatsoever.”
But then the managing director told me, “We’re honest and dependable in how we treat people—so we won’t permit your name to be cut.”
Dream 168
The personal chamber of the Personnel Director. I was standing in front of his office, asking him how could he have passed me over for promotion when the law was utterly on my side? So he told me, “File a court case, and you’ll win the suit.”
I went to the head of investigations and presented my complaint, but he upheld what the administration had done. Yet it confused me that his face was an exact duplicate of that of the Personnel Director.
Straightaway I went to my lawyer and explained my predicament. He promised me that all would turn out well. I paid the fee in advance, but became perplexed again when I saw that his face was also identical to that of the Personnel Director and of the Head of Investigations.
I visited my doctor, who examined me thoroughly. But his face, too, was just the same as those I had seen before him. On my way home at the end of the day, I felt a cold hand gripping my neck. A voice behind me commanded, “Your money or your life.”
I gave him all the money I had with me; he took it and fled. Upset, I stopped and asked myself, Where had I heard that voice before?
Dream 169
I paused with the foreign general manager watching the wedding, with women ululating joyfully and men pounding drums. He walked with me to his office, asking about this racket that undoubtedly irritated the touri
st guests.
“This is the traditional Egyptian wedding, one of the failsafe money-makers for the hotel,” I told him.
But he answered, “The contract stipulates there will be no disturbances.”
“I cannot deliver that,” I replied.
He retorted in fury, “This is an order—you must carry it out.”
Immediately I went to the Central Administration, and presented the matter to the director. “This foreigner’s knowledge and experience have helped us a lot,” he declared. “So you reach agreement with him, on his terms—or you quit.”
At this, I went out, my destiny in doubt.
Dream 170
I restored the old home in which I was born, and when the workers were finished, I went to it and inspected its rooms, marshalling my memories.
I went out onto the balcony. Through the gaps in its latticed windows, I saw Bayt al-Qadi Square, with the Gamaliya Police Station and all else that belonged to it—the public water faucet and the Pasha’s Beard trees.
At that moment, I heard a commotion inside—and saw my childhood companions, whom God had taken away, running toward me joyfully. Afterward, they sang the patriotic hymns of our youth, when an officer accompanied by soldiers broke into the house.
All went silent as the man asked me about who had been singing. I said there was no one there but me. So they searched the house, before taking me to the station—where I was accused of concealing wanted criminals and of incitement to overthrow the ruling regime.
Later, the lawyer told me, “Don’t worry: they haven’t a single thing on you.”
But I was far from reassured.
Dream 171
The employees were relaxing in this reception hall, and I was playing dominoes with the director of my office. Suddenly the minister arrived: he announced that he was appointing my office’s director to my position, while putting me on pension.
My colleagues were alarmed. Thinking the matter over among themselves, they decided it was against the law. But then they were divided into two groups: one group wanted to approach the minister amicably, while the other demanded his removal for scoffing at the law.
The argument between them grew heated, degenerating into the trading of slurs and insults, then blows with hands and feet. When I complained that their behavior had doomed my cause to failure, they pushed me until I fell on my face.
All the while, the minister was watching, guffawing uproariously.
Dream 172
I went to the public bath to remove whatever clung to my body and my soul. As I stood naked in the steam room, waiting for whoever would massage me, a handsome young woman came in.
Exposing all of her charms, she began to rub me delicately and tenderly. This upset the others present terribly.
But I paid them no mind—and thanked Fate for its blessings!
Dream 173
I was walking along with the employees of my office when I saw the ugliest city in existence. The employees suggested we improve the streets and squares, and create gardens too.
Meeting them in my office, I told them I was interested in what would benefit the people, such as public health spending, the provision of schools, water, and electricity. Then I asked the leading citizens to offer ideas of how to tempt themselves to invest their own money to bring all this into reality.
Dream 174
Debating with me, my friend declared, “The Egyptian, by nature, is either a peasant or a craftsman. As for progress in administration or politics,” he insisted, “that is best left to foreigners or naturalized Egyptians.”
“Nature has nothing to do with this,” I told him. “But the foreigners and those who have taken our nationality shared the power and the money and created a vacuum of creativity. Then the situation changed when the native Egyptian participated in the revolution against the French occupation, and then against the British as well, and pledged his allegiance to Urabi, Sa’d Zaghlul, and Gamal Abd al-Nasser.
“Next,” I said in conclusion, “he began to take part in running the country—and his creativity soared in every realm of life!”
Dream 175
I was director of the Estates section of the Ministry of Religious Endowments. There I discovered that some of the residents were not paying their rent, in collusion with some of the employees.
So I resolved to recover the lost revenue and to put those responsible under investigation. But then I found myself all alone, heading toward an inquiry, accused of defaming the minister’s reputation—and such a war ensued!
Dream 176
I was an officer sent to arrest the artist “Y.” In truth, I was one of his biggest fans; I loved him despite my scorn for his addiction to drugs.
The artist invited me to a singing party. I came, but put off arresting him until he finished his songs, as he kept chanting repeatedly:
You are entrusted to go to him
And kiss the fair one’s mouth for me—
And say his lovestruck slave is at his command.
Dream I
I received my sister, who said to me, “Your wedding has been fixed for next Thursday.” Reaching her house at the appointed time, when I entered the hall for invitees, I was greeted by loud applause.
At that moment, I realized that I did not know who my bride was to be. Too embarrassed to ask my sister, I looked around at the women present—and found that they were those who had given my life its light. Yet some of them were now quite old—and the rest had already left this world.
Finally, I told myself, “I’ll have to wait to know my fate.”
Dream II
I saw myself receiving an important piece of information—the building of the new Opera House had been completed. I went with my colleagues to inspect it thoroughly, and found it an exact copy of the original, which had been destroyed by fire.
We agreed on a work for the place’s opening; we wrote the play, and composed the songs and the music for it, but we differed over its title. The discord intensified until it broke into open warfare, threatening the safety of the opera’s new home.
Dream III
Returning to our house, in my room I found my sister, who had come to visit us. I told her hello, then looked out toward the window in which—for a whole year—my adored one had not appeared. Not since the day of her wedding.
“I have a not very cheerful piece of news,” my sister remarked, “that nonetheless might help to console you.”
“What is that?” I asked.
“ ‘Ayn died while giving birth—her first—at the Maternity Hospital,” she replied.
A ferocious pain pierced my head, as darkness rose like a tent over the heaven and the earth.
Dream IV
I was a censor charged with reading a play by the littérateur “Y,” entitled Death.
The first act was a dialogue between Death and the generation of pioneers such as Taha Husayn and Abbas Mahmud al-Aqqad.
In the second act, the conversation was between Death and members of my own generation, such as Ali Ahmad Bakathir and Mahmud al-Badawi.
Act Three, though, was a musical in which young girls and boys of about age seven danced in a circle around Death, singing: Your fate in life must befall you.
And so I approved its performance for the public at large.
Dream V
There I was in Abbasiya, on Lover’s Lane. Her sky, though missing a full moon, was able nonetheless to muster a few stars.
The breeze was pure and the water sweet, the street graced with a profound silence, but for a lone voice singing:
Visit me once each year!
Dream VI
I was called to meet with President al-Sadat, who informed me that he’d decided to appoint me as governor of Alexandria. Though I warned him that my eyesight and hearing were weak, and my right hand paralyzed, he wouldn’t change his mind.
Going back to my office, I ran into my sister’s son, whose name begins with “Sh.”
“Don’t worry,” h
e told me. “I will be the eye through which you see and read, the ear through which you hear, and the hand with which you write.”
Still my anxiety would not leave me.
Dream 177
A great pavilion was set up to celebrate the new party’s birth, and Mustafa al-Nahhas appeared on the dais. Greeted with cheers, he proclaimed the party’s principles, foremost of which were democracy, social justice, and national unity.
When we went back to the place where we gathered every evening, I told them that when I saw them applauding, I remembered their joy on the day that Cairo burned and al-Nahhas’s government fell.
“Our glee at that time was our greatest sin,” one of them answered, “for which we repented in our meeting today.”
Dream 178
A decree declared that the best and highest posts would be reserved for Egyptians of Turkish or Mamluk origins.