Chapter 2: Barefoot in the Dunes
I couldn’t stay away from the Dunes. They were a part of me now.
Ever since the Goddess of the Dunes compelled me to be there, I had no choice.
I was hers.
She was just a tree. That’s what my mind said. A silly bare tree overlooking the sandy dunes and marshlands and beautiful tall pines and exquisite flowers and … oh, it was no use!
I could not pretend to disdain her. She was in my heart, my soul, my body, and yes, even my mind when it would listen.
Ever since she called me to that place, I was her slave.
It didn’t seem like such a big thing then, being slave to a tree. After all, wasn’t I slave to everything in life? I was born a certain way, had parents, went to school, got a job … what about this implied choice?
It’s like I was just playing a role in a play that someone else had directed. A puppet on a string. Dance, girl, dance.
I was sick of that. At least with the Goddess, I was something. She didn’t use me. She loved me, I felt. Why else had she called me there? She could have summoned anyone.
Someone prettier, thinner, smarter. Richer. But no, she picked me. I must be special. At least to her.
For that reason, I came again to the Dunes.
I rose from my bed before dawn, making my way to the Dunes while the sun turned a glorious pink in the sky. It was a good sign.
I stepped out of the car and walked across the road to the Dunes. No one was around. Even the birds seemed far away, their thin chirps busy with other things.
I was alone. Just the way I liked it.
As soon as I stepped into her Domain, I felt the presence. It was strong in the early light. A whisper of wind flitted across the tiny flowers pushing out of the sand. They bowed down. Even the flowers belonged to her.
I was no fool. I knew what subjugation meant. I was ready for it. Being subject to a Queen of such high status was an honour.
Oh, I called her Queen, or I called her Goddess, it didn’t matter. Sometimes I even felt she was more like a Dragon, her winged limbs flaying at empty space, her gaunt jaw jutting out into the sky. She was not pretty by ordinary standards. No one would have made her Prom Queen, I laughed.
But then again, who was I to judge?
I was an ugly duckling from Day One. Rough around the edges, they said. Needs a bit of a tune-up, they joked behind my back.
But I didn’t care. I had something they didn’t have, and something much more important than outer beauty. I had the Truth.
And the Truth was all wrapped up in Her.
She controlled the universe with her very presence. There was no escaping it. Nothing would exist without her.
But I could not bow.
I tried not to notice her watching me as I walked behind her. She could see from all sides of her rough trunk; each limb had eyes, each fluttering leaf had ears. She didn’t need to turn around to see what was going on. It’s like she knew before it even happened.
I walked into the Dunes a prisoner. My feet were chained together, each step tedious, pulling behind it the weight of the world.
But things were about to change.
I knew the Goddess would not fail me. She knew everything about me, every heartbeat, every sigh, every longing in my soul. And she was prepared to redeem me. Once and for all.
Once inside her realm, I knew what I had to do. I took off my shoes and socks and lay my hat in the sand. Then I began to walk. It felt like I was just learning how to walk for the first time. Each step was a miracle, a new sensation, a joy. My toes squiggled in the sand, feeling every grain.
I walked by tiny plants struggling out of the dry space, blooming gloriously, in spite of the terrain. I saw footprints of deer, the delicate hooves imbedded deeply in the sand as they ran.
Nearby, canine tracks, the toenails pointing out, searching for prey. Was it a wolf? Coyote? Or just a dog wandering in the dunes near his home? Tiny bird feet, delicately walked up the slope from the pond.
I wondered what these creatures of the Dunes would think of the trail that I would leave; bare footprints of human, strangely out of place.
There were sun-bleached logs everywhere, trunks full of bird holes, sprawling limbs from half-dead trees. The cottonwoods with the thick bark raced to the sky, but even their branches were dying, here in this dry terrain. Tall pines and scented cedars lined the weedy pond, their roots going deep.
I walked and walked, and each step became more joyous. I was here, so alone, and so not alone. She was here and she was everywhere. She was in the sand, the sky, the trees, the flowers, the prints in the sand. She was in me.
Suddenly, a sound like a “Whoop” came out of the bushes on my left side. I turned, startled, and there she was. Dressed in the bright orange plumage of a Baltimore Oriole. She looked straight into my eyes. Then she flew, effortlessly, over my head and high into the trees. I could only smile and smile.
The orange was so vivid, so strong. I knew it was a blessing. Like the blue butterfly the day before, my messages were in colour.
I walked back to the hill where I had left my shoes and socks, and reluctantly slid my feet back into civilization. I walked slowly over the hill, behind the Goddess for one last time before heading home. Even from this angle she was regal. And yet, the way I saw it, she was bowing to me.
She, the ruler of all, bowed to me.
And then I knew, all over again, the truth of the Goddess of the Dunes. We were One.
Never separate, except in my mind, when I forgot. Always bonded, through the heart, through the very essence of Life itself. There could be no separation.
She crowned me out of Love.