Tate opens the back of the Jeep and lifts out a giant ice chest and drops it in the sand. “We’ve got plenty of beer,” he says, lifting the lid and reaching inside.
He tosses a bottle of Corona to Andrew. Not Andrew’s first choice of beer, I know, but he won’t turn one down, either.
Bray and her fiancé, I can’t even remember his name, step up together beside me while Tate pops the cap on another bottle of Corona and hands it out to me.
I take it. “Thanks.”
Andrew pops the cap on his with the bottle opener he keeps on his key ring.
“If you’ve got any blankets to lie on, might want to bring one,” Tate says. His girlfriend joins him, passing me a smile as she walks in between us wearing her skimpy white bikini. “And I’ve got a kickass system in this baby,” he adds, patting the back of the Jeep with his hand, “so I’ve also got the music covered.”
Andrew pops the trunk and grabs the blanket he always keeps back there, the same one we used the night we tried to sleep in that field last July. Only now, thanks to me, it has been washed and doesn’t stink like oil and car funk.
“Where are my shorts?” I ask, rummaging around in the backseat.
“There right here,” Andrew says from the trunk. When I lean out of the car, he throws them toward me, and I catch them in midair.
“I don’t plan on swimming in that abyss at night,” I say, slipping them on over my red bikini bottoms.
Overhearing, Bray says, “I’m glad I’m not the only one!”
I smile over the roof of the Chevelle at her and then shut the door. “Have you been out here before with them?”
Tate and the others are walking toward the beach now carrying the ice chest, beach bags, and other random items. They leave the doors open on the Jeep with the speakers blasting rock music.
“We did last night,” Bray says, “but Elias got drunk way too early and started puking up his insides, so I drove us back to our hotel pretty early.”
Elias, yeah, that’s her fiancé’s name. He shakes his head and gives her the sarcastic yeah-thanks-for-telling-everybody look.
Andrew and I walk alongside Bray and Elias, hand in hand toward everybody else already setting up camp not too far out, closer to the water. As we step up and lay our blanket out on the sand, Tate lights a match and tosses it onto a pile of tree branches. The flame ignites the lighter fluid he had already squirted all over the pile. A tall, searing rod of fire curls up over the top of the pile and illuminates the darkness all around us with a dancing orange glow. Already the heat from the flames are making me hot, so I slide our blanket a few feet farther away from the bonfire before Andrew and I sit down on it. Bray and Elias follow suit with two giant beach towels. Tate, his brother, and the other three girls all share a large quilt. I dig the bottom of my beer bottle into the sand beside me so that it sits upright.
Tate makes me think of those really blond, tanned California surfers. Like every guy here, including Andrew, Tate sits with his knees bent upward and his arms propped on them at the wrists. And as I’m quietly checking everybody else out, I catch something briefly in the corner of my eye that instantly puts me into territorial mode. The blonde sitting next to Tate’s brother, who I doubt is his girlfriend because they don’t act like they’re together, is watching Andrew with hungry eyes. I don’t just mean the innocent look-but-won’t-touch kind. No, this girl would try to sleep with him the second I walked away.
When she notices me watching her, she looks away and starts talking to the other girl beside her.
I don’t have anything to worry about where Andrew is concerned, but if she disrespected me knowing he’s my fiancé, I would not think twice about kicking her ass.
I wonder if Andrew noticed.
Andrew
I hope Camryn didn’t notice the look that chick was giving me just now. Five seconds alone with that one anywhere out here, and she’d try to get me to fuck her. No way in hell would I ever entertain that, but this bonfire party just got a bit more interesting.
I’d bet my left nut she has slept with Tate and his brother already. Probably not Elias—he seems like the loyal type—but she’d do him, too, if he was up for it.
Shit, she just looked at me again.
I glance over at Camryn to keep from meeting the chick’s gaze and sure enough, Camryn’s got that telling smile on her face. Yeah, she definitely saw it.
I reach out, pick Camryn up, and set her between my legs.
“Don’t worry, baby,” I whisper into her ear, and then I kiss her neck to make sure the chick sees it.
“I’m not worried,” Camryn says, lying back against my chest.
She’s not worried about me, sure, but I can feel the territorial tension coming off her body. Damn, the thought of her throwin’ down on that girl over me… OK, I shouldn’t think about that. Fuck. Too late.
“Those are some wicked fuckin’ tattoos,” Tate points out.
Everyone is eyeing mine and Camryn’s ink now. Camryn lifts away from my chest to give them a better look.
“Yeah, no doubt,” Bray says, enthralled. She crawls across the sand closer toward us. “I’ve been curious about them.”
The blonde chick eyeing me moments ago sneers at Camryn, though Camryn doesn’t notice, as she’s too busy showing the tattoo to Bray.
I use this opportunity to my advantage. “Turn around here, babe, and show them how it fits.” I lift Camryn around on my lap and then lay my back against the sand, bringing her body down on top of mine.
The group watches closely, the blonde chick’s face turning faintly bitter when I look right at her while at the same time pressing my body against Camryn’s. We line up our tattoos to form a seamless picture of Orpheus and Eurydice; my Eurydice wearing a long, flowing see-through white gown pushed against her body by the wind, wisps of flowing fabric blowing behind her as she reaches out her arms to Orpheus inked along Camryn’s ribs. Bray gawks down at the detail, her dark eyes wide with awe. She glances back at Elias and now he looks nervous, as though he’s worried Bray is going to drag him to the closest tattoo parlor after tonight.
“That. Is. Awesome,” Bray says. “Who are they?”
“Orpheus and Eurydice,” I answer. “From the Greek legend.”
“A tragic tale of true love,” Camryn adds.
I squeeze my arms around her.
“Well, nothing seems tragic about the two of you,” Tate says.
I squeeze Camryn even tighter, both of us sharing private thoughts that are better kept to ourselves. I kiss the top of her hair.
Bray leans away, still sitting with her knees in front of her pressed into the sand. “I think it’s beautiful. And I guess it better be because I know that had to hurt like hell.”
“Yeah, it definitely hurt,” Camryn says. “But it was worth every hour of pain.”
Sometime later, Camryn and I have both gone through at least three Coronas each, but she’s the only one of us who shows it. She’s a little buzzed, but just enough that it’s making her more talkative.
“I know!” she says to the black-haired Bray. “I saw them in concert with my best friend, Nat, and they were amazing! Not too many bands who sound almost just like they do on their album.”
“Yeah, that’s the truth,” Bray says and finishes off her beer. “Did you say you’re from North Carolina?”
Camryn lifts her back from my chest and sits Indian style on the sand.
“Yeah, but Andrew and I don’t really live there now.”
“Where do you live?” Tate asks. He takes a long pull from his cigarette and holds the smoke in his lungs while he goes on. “Texas?”
Everyone turns to look at me when I answer, “No, we sort of… travel.”
“Travel?” Bray asks. “What, like driving around in an RV?”
“Not exactly,” Camryn says. “We just have the car.”
The blonde-haired girl who has been eyeing me all night speaks up: “Why do you travel?”
I not
ice the look in her eye right away, the one where she’s trying her hardest to get my attention, but I ignore it and answer, looking back over at Bray next to us, “We play music together.”
“What, you’re like in a band?” the blonde girl asks.
I look right at her this time. “Sort of,” I say, but that’s all I give her, and I turn my attention back to Bray.
“What kind of music do you play?” Tate’s brother, Caleb, asks. He’s been getting comfortable with the other girl since we got here. They’re probably not together, either, but he’s definitely getting laid tonight.
“Classic rock, blues, and folk rock, stuff like that,” I answer and take a swig of my beer.
“You’ll have to play for us!” Bray says excitedly.
Clearly, she’s about as buzzed as Camryn, and the two of them seem to get along good.
Camryn swings around on the sand to see me, her eyes wide and enthusiastic. “You could. You’ve got the acoustic in the backseat.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m not up to it right now.”
“Oh come on, baby, why not?”
There are those puppy-dog eyes and Camryn’s trademark whine, which never fail to make me do whatever she wants. But I play around with it for a moment longer, hoping maybe she’ll give in and say never mind.
Of course, she doesn’t.
“Yeah, man, if you’ve got a guitar with you and know how to play, that’d be awesome,” Tate says.
By now, everyone is looking right at me—even Camryn, who is really the only one of them I’m going to do it for.
Giving in, I get up, head back to the car, and return carrying the guitar. “You’re going to sing with me,” I say to Camryn as I sit back down beside her.
“Nooo! I’m too buzzed!” She kisses me on the mouth and then moves over to sit next to Bray and Elias, I guess to give me some space.
“All right, what do you want me to sing?”
The question was for Camryn, but Tate answers, “Hey, whatever you feel like, man.”
I run a few different songs through my head for a minute and finally choose this one because it’s so short. I mess around with the strings a few times, tune it real quick, and then start to play “Ain’t No Sunshine.” I began not really giving a shit about how good it was, but like always, once I start, I become someone else and put everything I’ve got into it. My eyes stay closed through most of the song, but I can always feel the energy of those around me, whether they’re getting into it or not.
All of them are.
By the second chorus, I lock eyes with Camryn as I strum the strings. She sits in the sand on her knees, her body swaying side to side. The other girls are doing the same, getting into the music heavily. I belt out the last chorus, and that one song is all it takes for me to want to play more. Bray can hardly contain herself, telling me how great it was and being very attentive to Camryn, which makes her all right in my book. Unlike the blonde who has her eyes on me a little more than before.
“Man, you weren’t fuckin’ playing’ around,” Tate says.
He lights up a joint.
“Play another one,” Bray says, lying against Elias again, as he wraps his arms around her from behind.
Tate passes the joint to Camryn first. She just looks at it for a second, unsure about whether or not she should. I see a trace of pain flash over her face; I know she was recalling her moment of weakness with the painkillers. She shakes her head. “No thanks, I think I’ll just stick to liquor tonight.”
I smile inwardly, proud of her decision. And when Tate offers it to me next, I follow suit, not because I wouldn’t mind a hit or two, but because I can’t bring myself to enjoy it when Camryn won’t.
I’ve never been much of a pot smoker, but it’s all right every once in a while. Right now isn’t one of those times.
I play a few more songs by the bonfire. Camryn finally does sing one with me, and then I just want to kick back with my girl and enjoy the rare high. I set my guitar down beside us on the blanket and pull Camryn onto my lap again.
Tate’s brother has been sucking face with that girl and feeling her up for a while. They don’t talk much, for obvious reasons. The blonde who had been eyeing me earlier has finally taken the hint, I think. Either that or she’s too stoned out of her mind to care about me anymore.
The music from Tate’s Jeep gets loud again, and he walks away from it carrying a bottle of Seagram’s 7, a two-liter of Sprite, and a stack of plastic cups. His girlfriend starts mixing the drinks and passing cups around.
“Have at it, man,” Tate urges us. “Don’t worry about having to drive anywhere tonight. Cops don’t even know about this place.”
“Yeah, sure I’ll have a cup,” I say.
I look to Camryn, recalling the look on her face when Tate passed her the joint earlier. “”I won’t if you don’t want to,” I say.
Aside from not wanting her to feel like she’s betraying herself by getting too drunk, I don’t want her getting so messed up she’s miserable in the morning, either.
“No, I’m good, baby. I’ll just have one cup, all right?”
She smiles sweetly up at me like she’s waiting on me to give her permission, which I find extremely fucking cute.
“All right,” I give in, not wanting to hurt her feelings, and she takes the cup from Tate’s girlfriend.
We all sit back, drink, and talk about all kinds of random shit for the longest time. Camryn is laughing and smiling and carrying on with Bray about tampons, which I have no idea how that topic came up, nor do I want to know, but we’re having a great time. Music by bands I’ve never heard of before carry loudly through the speakers not far away, and I find myself intrigued by the last few songs that have played, which I’m sure are the same singer.
“Who is that?” I ask Tate.
He looks up from his girlfriend, who is lying with her head in his lap. “Who? The band?”
“Yeah,” I say. “They’re pretty awesome.”
“That, my friend, is Dax Riggs. Solo now. He started out in Acid Bath, I think—” He looks up in thought, as though unsure. “Well he’s been in a few different bands. Acid Bath and Agents of Oblivion are the best known.”
“Y’know, I think I’ve heard of Acid Bath before,” I say and take another drink of my gin and Sprite.
“Wouldn’t be surprised,” Tate adds.
“I’ll have to check out his stuff. Is he underground?”
Camryn, breaking free from her tampon conversation with Bray, moves back over next to me and lays her head on my shoulder.
“Yeah, he never went mainstream,” Tate says. “Good thing, though, ’cause mainstream is bullshit. It pisses me off to see great bands sell out by doing toothpaste commercials ’n’ shit.”
I laugh lightly. “Yeah, definitely. I’d never sign a contract with a record label, if I’m ever offered one.”
“I hear ya, man,” Tate says. “Once you do that, you’re their bitch. Your music is no longer yours, and you’re bending over for the jackoffs that sign your checks.”
I’m starting to kind of like this guy. Just a little.
“Andrew, I need to pee,” Camryn says.
I look over at her. Taking her cup from her hand, I set it on the sand. “I need to take a piss, too,” I say to her and Tate both.
Tate points to the left with another cigarette between his fingers and says, “Go around that way. There’s no glass and shit to step on over there.”
I set my cup down beside Camryn’s and help her up. We walk with her through the sand toward a dark patch of trees and rocks until we’re far enough away that no one can see us.
“We’re gonna have to sleep out here tonight. No way I can drive us home.”
She squats down while I piss a few feet over from her. “I know,” she says. “I guess we’ll finally get to sleep under the stars, huh?”
I’m laughing inside at her. My baby’s so damn drunk she’s slurring a little.
“Yeah, I guess
so,” I say. “Though you should know it doesn’t really count because you’ll barely remember it in the morning.”
“Yes I will.”
“Naaah, you won’t.”
She almost falls over when she’s done and pushes herself back into a stand. I grab ahold of her arm and slip mine around her waist from behind. Then I kiss her on the top of the head. “I love you so much.”
I don’t know why I felt so compelled to say that in this moment, but just having her next to me and knowing that she’s in no condition to take care of herself tonight, I needed to say it. The words were there in the back of my throat and, I admit it, they were starting to choke me up. I would blame it on the alcohol, but no, even completely sober I love her just as fucking much.
She wraps both arms around my waist, nestles her head against my chest as we start to head back, and squeezes me. “I love you, too.”
24
As the night wears on, things happening in our small group begin to shift. People are talking less and making out more. Bray and Elias are lying down next to each other on one side of the bonfire. Tate and his girlfriend might as well be fucking already; only thing left to do is take off their clothes. Thankfully, the shady blonde chick is over me and is helping her friend feel Caleb up about eight feet away from Camryn and me.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I have a feeling I know where this is heading. No big deal. It’s not like I’ve never been in a situation like this before, but this time my main focus isn’t trying to please two chicks at once. I just need to keep Camryn away from their shit.
Just as I start to roll over onto my side to talk to Camryn lying next to me, the whole fucking world comes out from under me. I try to lift my head. I think. My eyes feel like fairies are dancing on top of them. With them open.
“Oh shit…,” I say out loud, but then, maybe I didn’t. Maybe it was all in my head.
I raise my hand in front of my face and it looks like the moon is sitting between my thumb and index finger. I try to shake it off, but it’s too damn heavy and it weighs my arm down. I feel my elbow hit the sand like an eighty-pound weight.
My head is spinning. The color of the fire is blue and yellow and dark red. The sound of the ocean is tripled in my ears, blending with the crackling of the wood on the fire and someone moaning.