are vapid and insincere. And C. Why do you have to label people into groups all the time? It’s weird.”
Vapid and insincere. The hairs on my neck bristled at that. Lony continued to pick at Cady, while Cady did her best to ignore her, but those words reverberated in my head. They struck a little too close to home. I might not have been a guy who thrilled girls with my brilliant conversation, but I wasn’t stupid. I just had other priorities than academics. I kept my grades up enough so my coaches stayed off my back, but my main goal in life was sports. I needed an athletic scholarship so I could get the hell out of Jerry’s house. My brother Brandon had kissed off his chance of a scholarship when he got into trouble his senior year and ended up joining the military. Now he was sitting in some shithole with sand up his crack hoping he wouldn’t be the next in his battalion to get blown up. No thanks. The military was not for me.
So no, I didn’t think I was vapid, but someone as smart as Cady might think so. What really cut me was insincere. The truth in that word rang in my ears so sharply I squeezed my eyes shut. Everything about me was phony. A total poser. For years I’d crafted this facade around me in order to hide the damage inside and blend into the world. Ever since my brothers and I were little, Mom drilled into us the importance of keeping what went on in our home private. My friends knew my police chief step-father was strict, but they didn’t know about the way he manipulated and controlled all of us. Or how he reminded us every day that he rescued us from the gutter and could dump us back there any time he wanted to. Or the way his words and insults could dig deeper than my bio-dad’s burns ever did.
“Stuck?” Cady asked, her voice pulling me out of my lament.
My hand holding the pencil hovered over the page. “Uh, no.” Embarrassed to be caught spacing off, I scratched out the answer.
She checked my work and then grinned at me. “You nailed it. Guess my work here is done, but if you have a problem working your assignment tonight, just give me a call.” She slammed the textbook closed and packed up her bag.
“Good, now we can get back to the others,” Lony sighed. “There ought to be a law against doing homework on days off from school.”
As Cady stood up and heaved her bag over her shoulder, I desperately wanted to clutch her arm and make her stay. Why did Lony have to butt in? Oh, I guess it didn’t matter anyway. Ever since Cady uttered the word insincere, all hope of her ever liking me melted away. No one in our school was more fake than me. Even if I could let Cady in, I’d never be able to drop my mask for other people. And how much respect would she have for me then?
I watched Cady leave, and Lony watched me. After a moment she wound her arm around mine and asked, “You okay?”
Her question yanked me out of my thoughts, and I looked down into her heavily made-up eyes. I didn’t know why it surprised me to notice the same gold flecks floating in her brown eyes like Cady’s. In fact, if I let my eyes unfocus, I could almost imagine it was Cady gazing up at me, expression full of heat. But this Cady was an impostor, a fake. Just as fake and insincere as me.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I lied. This fake girl didn’t want the truth. She didn’t want me. Not really. She was only interested in the carefully crafted, perfect form of me that I put out to the world. The real Cane was dark and complicated and not nearly good enough for an angel like her sister.
But maybe the fake Cane was good enough for the fake Cady.
Lony stroked the inside of my forearm with the tips of her fingers and parted her mouth in invitation. She would be so easy. I wouldn’t have to change at all. I could continue to keep my secrets bottled up inside and live my outwardly-charmed life. All I wanted to do was graduate high school and escape my nightmare of a family. Someone like Cady would complicate things, make me face my fears before I was ready and disrupt this carefully built house of cards that I’d constructed all around me. Lony, though, was different. She wouldn’t try to scratch my golden veneer to find the tarnish.
My decision made, I guided Lony so her back was pinned between the refrigerator and my hard torso. Placing both hands on the sides of her neck, I tipped her head back. With one last gaze into her Cady-like eyes, I dropped my mouth to hers and let all the pent-up passion I’d harbored for her sister pour into her. What started off tender quickly ignited into an inferno as our tongues probed and slid against each other. I squeezed my eyes tight and delivered a kiss that said good-bye to one girl and introduced myself to another.
“Cane, please. Just stop.” Lony calls. I turn and wait for the umpteenth time while she picks her way across the path in those ridiculous shoes. Her cheeks are tear-stained, and she sniffs every few breaths. “Can we just talk about this?”
I tunnel my fingers through my hair. “There’s nothing to talk about, Lon. I told you. I’m done. We’re over.”
The moonlight glistens off the moisture welling in her eyes. “But I love you! And I know you love me, too.”
Nothing is more unattractive than a girl who whines. I have to put a stop to this. I don’t want to hurt her, but I also can’t lead her on by making her think there’s still hope. I step closer and place my hands on her shoulders.
“Lony, please listen to me. What I’m about to say is the most honest thing I’ve ever said to you.” She nods. “I am not in love with you. I never have been. It was only attraction and like. But lately, the like is fading and attraction is not enough to keep this going.”
Her lip trembles. “I’ll try not to get so jealous anymore.”
“It’s not about that. I don’t feel for you what you do for me. It’s not fair for me to keep dragging this out.”
Her stare hardens. “Is there another girl?”
So much for her trying not to be jealous. “No, there isn’t anyone else.”
She pops her fists on her hips. “Liar. I know for a fact there is someone else. There’s always been someone else.”
I roll my eyes up to the stars. “What are you talking about? I’ve never cheated on you and you know it.”
“Maybe not, but I’m more perceptive than you know, and I know you’ve been pining away after someone else the entire year we’ve been together.”
“Oh, really? Who?”
“My sister,” she hisses. The accusation hangs in the air, floating through the silence until it becomes heavy with truth.
Unwilling to confirm or deny, I pivot and stalk off down the path across the clearing, cursing myself for my idiocy. Shit, I know how this will play out. Lony will unleash all her anger for me onto Cady and they’ll both end up hating me.
“She’s too good for you, you know,” Lony sobbed behind me. “As soon as she finds out you’ve been using me to get to her this whole time, you won’t stand a chance. Cady would never betray me for a guy.”
As much as I try to ignore her, I can’t help myself. “Like you betrayed her by swooping in to steal a guy who was interested in her just to prove you could? Jesus, Lon, does everything with you have to be a fucking competition?”
“So you admit it? You’ve wanted her this whole time? I bet every time you kissed me you imagined I was her.”
Once. I only did that once. The first time we kissed against the refrigerator. After that, I’d done everything I could to drive Cady from my mind. Unsuccessfully.
I lengthen my stride to put distance between us, determined to not answer her anymore. I am so done fighting. My ears tune out the constant drone of her yammering behind me.
The warm, mud-scented air drifts over from the river, sending an electric charge through me. As miserable as this night is, I feel like a 200-pound weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This whole year has been nothing but me wasting time with a girl I didn’t care for in an attempt to get over the one that I did. And really, it was a waste of time because my feelings for Cady have only grown stronger. I think I’m finally ready to let my walls down and introduce her to the real me.
It threw me for a loop yesterday when I saw her walking to class with some new student. The dude de
finitely appeared interested, but Cady was her usual oblivious self. It might make me a douche to break up with one sister and ask out another right away, but I need to make a move before this new guy does. Yes, I risk her hating me, but she might hate me anyway after Lony talks to her, so I have nothing to lose.
Hope buoys my resolve and adds a little bounce to my step. I reach the train tracks that run along the curve of the river. Up ahead I see the silhouettes of three people perched on boulders, Matt’s flashlight beam flicking on and off again like a strobe. I step from rail to rail toward the girl I love. Yes, love.
A rumble in the air precedes the bright yellow beam twisting around the limestone cliff to shine directly on my face like a warm sun.
“Come on, Lony,” I call behind me. “Get off the tracks.”
***
If you enjoyed this story and want to know what happens next, I encourage you to continue on with the Arcadia series.
About Arcadia’s Gift
"Cady--short for Arcadia--is an appealing heroine, and I enjoyed cheering for her as she confronted the tragic death of her twin sister, the collapse of her family, the vicissitudes of teenage romance, and the amazing discovery of her gift." --Mike Mullin, Author of Ashfall.
"Arcadia's Gift" is a poignant story of loss, love and hope. A must read for all young adult paranormal romance