"It's different. I'm finding brand new flavors and tastes." Harley said. "Right, Summer?"
"Different," I said.
Suze had been staring at me throughout the meal. It made me very nervous and I tried to avoid her eyes, which I guess only confirmed suspicions. His grandfather appeared to notice.
"I guess Suze showed you her holy room today. eh. Summer?" he asked.
I looked at Harley.
"Yes, she did."
"She showed it to me this morning," Harley said. winking.
"Her beliefs seem strange to you. I'm sure, but your beliefs would probably seem just as strange to someone from her land. It all depends on where you're standing when you see something." he declared. "I learned that from being on the sea."
Harley smiled at him. He was becoming so charmed, even bewitched, with his grandfather and every word out of his mouth with every passing minute would make it more difficult for him when he learned the truth. I thought. I almost felt like keeping it a secret and just leaving, hoping he would make his own discoveries and learn to accept them. It confused me. I really didn't know what to do.
When I offered to help clean up. Harley's grandfather insisted I go into the living room and relax.
"As soon as I help her,Ill drive you over to Hurleyville to make that phone call." he promised.
"Great," Harley said. "Thanks." He looked at me and then turned back to him and said. "Dad."
His grandfather beamed. I had to look away quickly.
"You don't have to help me," Suze told him. She looked at me hard. "You take her to call."
"Okay. You heard her." He leaned toward us. "You don't fool around with a woman who knows Voodun and could put a wicked spell on you," he whispered with an impish smile.
Harley laughed. but I felt a lump stop my swallowing. I was hoping for a private moment with Harley before we left, but his grandfather was on top of us constantly, helping me navigate the porch steps and getting me into the truck. They put my crutch in the back, but we were all still squeezed close together in the cab.
As we rode along what seemed to me to be rather bumpy roads, his grandfather talked about the area, pointing out different buildings and houses in which he had worked.
"About five years ago, they started this custom home development and I took on more work than I wanted. Suze bawled me out for it and eventually I got myself out of some contracts. She really looks after me. Nothing better than having a good woman look after you," he lectured.
He glanced at me after he made a turn onto a better road.
"Harley says you're about the best friend he's got now. Nothing wrong with a man having a woman as a best friend. There's trust and that's important. He knows you won't do anything to hurt him and vice versa." he added.
When I looked at him. I thought his eyes were fixed more firmly on me. Was he trying to tell me something? My nerves were frazzled as it was. Now they felt like they were snapping like strained wires. My heart pounded. I felt Harley slide his hand into mine and squeeze. When I looked at him, he was smiling. I didn't think I had ever seen him as happy as he was these past hours, and on the tip of my tongue were the words that would wipe that happiness out of his mind and heart as quickly as someone erasing the words I love you from a blackboard.
I stared ahead. thinking only of Mommy and what I would say.
We stopped at a garage and Harley's father pointed to the pay phone.
"If that one don't work, none of em work here," he remarked.
Harley jumped out to see if there was a dial tone and waved me on, smiling.
His grandfather came around to help me get out of the truck.
He handed me the crutch and smiled. "Thank you."
"No problem," he said. I went to the phone. Harley handed the receiver to me and our eyes locked for a moment
"I want to go home tomorrow. Harley," I said.
He nodded. "Fine," he said. "Just don't tell them where I am until I say so. okay? Please." he begged.
My heart felt so heavy. I glanced back at his grandfather, who stood by his truck, watching us. I could blurt it out right here and now. I thought, but what would it be like afterward? I was afraid for both of us.
I nodded and dialed the operator to place a collect call. Moments later. I heard Daddy's voice.
"Summer, where are you? What's going on?"
"I'm fine. Daddy. I really am. We're with... Harley's family," I said quickly, "but I'm coming home tomorrow. I'll fly to Richmond," I said.
"Your mother's beside herself here. This was just crazy, just crazy."
"I'll explain it all better when I'm home. Daddy."
"You're sure you're all right?"
"Yes, Daddy."
I thought it would be easier to explain my ankle when I was there.
"Your mother has to speak to you," Daddy said, and a second later. I heard Mommy say my name.
"I'm okay. Mommy. Please don't cry." I begged, "We didn't want to hurt anyone. It was something I had to do for Harley and now it's over and I'll be on my way home."
"Where are you?"
"Ill tell you everything, tomorrow." I said.
"Your uncle Roy is very, very upset. honey. He's worried and just beside himself. He hasn't worked. He sits by the phone. Can you get Harley to call him?"
"I don't know. Mommy."
"He really cares for him, honey. He is sick over this and after all his sadness. too."
"I know. Mommy," I said, tears burning my eyes. "I'll talk to him about it. I promise."
"What time will vou be home?"
"I'll call you from the airport in the morning, Mommy."
"I don't know what to think about all this. I just don't know," she said, her voice cracking with disappointment. It made me sick inside.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Mommy, Tell Daddy I love him and I love you."
"Summer, hurry back," she cried.
I hung up, the tears now fleeing my eyes like tiny fugitives frantic for a quick escape from my burning cheeks.
Harley put his arm around my shoulders.
"Thanks," he said. "Ill get you to the airport first thing. I promise."
I couldn't talk. I just nodded and he led me back to the truck.
"Summer's going home tomorrow. Dad," Harley told his grandfather.
"Oh. Well, that's okay. She's welcome to stay as long as she wants, of course."
"I'll have to take her to the airport before joining you at the job ."
"No problem," his grandfather said. He smiled. "With all we got done today. I could take a whole day off and it wouldn't hurt the schedule. Might even do that," he declared.
Harley laughed. He held my hand and stared at me and then, when his grandfather wasn't looking, he leaned over to kiss my cheek and whisper "thank you," one more time.
How do you tell someone who thinks he is standing on top of the world that he's standing on a bubble of lies?
And it could be a long and painful way down to the truth.
13
The Secret Room
.
Suze was standing before us in the hallway
when we returned. She was crouched, her eyes beady, looking like she had been prowling through the house to find signs of something evil. She waited for us all to enter. her gaze fixed mostly on me.
"Anything wrong, Suze?" Harley's grandfather asked. I heard her close the basement door.
"You left the light on downstairs." she told him.
My heart almost did a full flip-flop in my chest. In my haste to leave after making my shocking discoveries. I had left it on.
"Me? I don't think so," he replied. "What's the difference if I did? It don't burn much electricity. Well, what do you think. Suze? The phones over in Hurleyville were working after all."
She smirked, her dark eyes still turned on me. "They all leaving then?" she asked.
"Just Summer." Harley's grandfather said. "My boy's going to stick around a while and help his old man get through some of th
is work, right. Harley?"
"Yes sir," Harley said.
"Hear that. Susie? 'Yes, sir.' That's my boy. That's what I'd expect. Well, we're all taking some time off tomorrow to take Summer here over to the airport. You want to go for a ride with us?"
Where would he put her? I wondered, in the back?
"No. I got some work," she said. "I don't take days off at the drop of a pin."
Harley's grandfather roared and shook his head as she turned and went back to the kitchen or her holy room.
"Let's see if the television's back on at least," his grandfather suggested.
"I'm tired. Harley." I said.
"Maybe you should take another pill, Summer. You need the sleep tonight."
I nodded. I was hoping he would come up so we could talk, but he lingered, obviously wanting to sit around with the man he thought was his father. He cherished every moment.
"Maybe Iwill." I said.
"Good night there. Summer. We'll make sure you're at the airport early." his grandfather called to me.
"We don't even know what times the planes leave for where I need to go," I said.
"We'll find all that out in due time. No sense worrying about it tonight. I never worry today over stuff I can put off till tomorrow," he added with a laugh. Harley laughed too.
That's irresponsibility. I thought. It's not something to admire in someone. Uncle Roy would never say something like that. He would have everything planned and prepared. Couldn't Harley see the difference? Was the need for someone to love and someone to love him so great that it didn't matter if he was real or not?
It made me angry, but then I thought I shouldn't be so condemning. After all. Harley's the one who had lost his mother recently. He's the one who feels like an orphan, and the one who has come here looking for love.
"Okay," I said and started toward the stairs. When I reached them. Suze came out of the kitchen and glared at me as she wiped a pan with a dishtowel. Her eyes were fixed on me and piercingly
scrutinizing.
"Anything wrong?" I asked, my very bones in a tremble.
"Who sent you here?" she asked in a whisper. Her eyes widened in expectation of the answer.
"What? Sent me? No one sent me. I came with Harley."
"Why you come?" she followed quickly.
"You know why." I said.
She continued to stare. I fought down a scream and continued up the stairway, fleeing from her. Maybe I shouldn't wait until tomorrow morning. I thought. Maybe I should have Harley take me to the airport on his motorcycle or get myself a taxi. I sat on the bed, thinking about it. Would it be right to just leave him behind in all this though? I wondered. Later, would he be and that I had left without telling him about my discoveries?
My mind was in such turmoil. I didn't know whether it was that or the pain radiating up my leg from my ankle that made me feel as nauseous and dizzy as I was. I had to lie back. Through the floor. I could hear the murmur of Suze's chanting. I imagined it came from her holy room.
How was I supposed to fall asleep with all this going on anyway? I should have remained downstairs with Harley.
I closed my eyes and tried to think what Mommy would do. She wouldn't leave without telling Harley everything. I decided. She would say the truth might be a hard thing to swallow, but swallow you must if you wanted to be free of deception, especially when the person you're deceiving is you, yourself.
"I've got to tell him," I muttered to myself. "I've got to."
Why were my eyelids so heavy? I fought to keep them open. I wanted to hear Harley come up the stairs and call him to my room as soon as I had. I would stay fully dressed and wait. I thought.
I'll just rest a little, but I'll continue to listen for him. I did try to stay awake, but I was like a mountain climber on a hill of pure ice, my feet slipping until I lost my hold completely and slid rapidly down, down into the darkness of a tunnel that dropped me into a pool of nightmares.
Suze's face oozed out of the blackness. Her eyes glittered like tinfoil, the ebony pupils spinning and spinning until tiny drills extended toward me. I heard myself scream and she popped like a soap bubble, only to be replaced by that horrible rat in the holy room. Its body swelled until its head receded under the folds of gray and it turned into a dark gray ball that began to roll toward me.
I felt myself running, limping as my foot touched the around and the pain was triggered, shooting darts up inside my leg, darts that entered my stomach. I groaned. The ground beneath me turned into softer and softer mud. I sank deeper and deeper until I disappeared, gagging as the muck sank into my mouth and then my nose.
My eyes snapped open. I looked about quickly. Was I awake or still in my nightmares? I held my breath and listened. There was no more chanting. It was very quiet and very dark. I glanced at my watch in the soft shaft of moonlight now coming through the window and saw I had been sleeping for hours. Oh no. I thought, Harley has already gone to bed. I was in too deep of a sleep to have heard him.
I sat up, feeling just horrible. My lower back ached, my leg felt like it had gone numb from the pain and my stomach continued to rumble. Why had I eaten Suze's rich food? I found my crutch and rose. There was no light on in the hallway, but my eyes were used to the darkness enough for me to safely make my way to the bathroom.
Afterward. I felt weaker and sicker. I thought I was going to vomit, too. but I held it down and returned to my room. I lay there, curled up, moaning softly and chastising myself for having been so stupid. Once I had learned about the lies. I should have screamed them aloud and not permitted this madness to continue. Who knew what else that woman had put into my food?
I was hoping Harley had heard me moving about and would come to see how I was, but he must have fallen into so deep a sleep that he could hear nothing. Perhaps his grandfather had given him more beer to drink and maybe he had drunk too much.
I couldn't fall asleep again. I was worried I wouldn't have an opportunity in the morning to tell Harley what I had discovered. I hated my stomach for still being in such turmoil. Every time I tried to sit up, a ribbon of pain snapped across it and around my sides, down my back. Sometimes, it took my breath away. There was nothing to do but rest and wait for it all to pass.
Seconds became minutes: minutes became hours. Despite my fears. I fell asleep for a while and woke with a shudder. Carefully. I lifted my head from the pillow and edged myself into a sitting position. My stomach was still sore, but at least it wasn't forecasting storm after storm of pain anymore. Blinking my eyes and trying to pull myself back into focus. I lowered my feet to the floor, grabbed my crutch and started out again. I tried to be as quiet as I could in the hallway.
Harley's door was closed. I opened it slowly and peered in to see his head on the pillow, bathed in the soft moonlight. He looked so contented, perhaps sleeping comfortably for the first time in a long time. I thought I even detected a tiny smile on his lips and imagined he was dreaming about all the things he would be doing in the days to come with the man he thought was his real father. Just for a moment it made me hesitant. I knew that often the person bringing bad news is hated as much as the news. but I wasn't the one doing the terrible wrong thing here.
If his grandfather really did care for him, he wouldn't be layering one coat of lies over another, dipping his paintbrush into a can of illusion and smearing gobs and gobs of deception over Harley in hopes he would never know the truth. I didn't care what his reasons were, even if they were noble. If I had learned anything from my parents and the stories Mommy had told me about her troubled childhood, it was that lies have a way of spinning out of control and weaving a web of confusion and pain so tightly around you that it would take forever sometimes to break free.
I moved quickly to his bedside and touched his shoulder. He moaned, but his eyes didn't open.
"Harley," I whispered. "Harley." I shook his shoulder harder this time and his eyes snapped open.
"Whaaa? What?" He turned toward me. "Summer! What's wrong?
"
"Everything." I said.
"You're feeling bad?"
"Yes, but that's not half of what's wrong."
I heard what sounded like a loud creak, the kind of noise you might hear if someone was tiptoeing in the hallway.
"What?" he asked louder.
"Wait," I whispered and listened hard.
"Summer, what are you doing?" Harley questioned, sitting up quickly.
I didn't hear any more sounds so I turned back to him.
"I have something to tell you. Harley, something that is going to make you very unhappy. but I couldn't permit myself to leave here tomorrow without you knowing it all."
"What is it?" he demanded, his face becoming fully awake now, his eyes widening.
I took a deep breath and sat beside him on the bed.
"When you were away, I had nothing to do but explore the house," I began.
"And you found Suzers holy room, I know."
"No, she showed me that, but that's not it, even though it's plenty weird."
"What then?" he pursued with some impatience.
"I found this door in the hallway and opened it thinking it was just a closet, but it was a door to a small basement room. I went down the stairs to look around."
"Oh, so you were the one who left the light on," he said. remembering Suzes accusation.
"Yes,"
"Well, why didn't you say so?"
"Let me finish. Harley."
"I'm waiting for you to finish,' he said, his impatience growing. "It's late and I can hardly think. So what did you find, some voodoo doll or
something?"
"Worse, Harley. I found a newspaper article about your father. It told about his being chased after committing an armed robbery."
"Mv father?" He started to smile.
"And his death,' I added, "He had an accident fleeing from the police."
His smile held a moment and then evaporated as he shook his head.
"What are you talking about. Summer? You sound crazy. You having a bad dream or what?"
"I wish it was only a had dream. I'd be very happy. Harley."
"I don't understand. How can my father be dead and be here in the house at the same time? Is he a ghost, someone Suze brought back from the dead?" he asked with a smile.