CHAPTER XXXII.
JULIA'S ENTERPRISE.
4 August was very sick at the castle. This wag the first news of hisreturn that reached Julia through Jonas and Cynthy Ann.
But in my interest in Jonas and Cynthy Ann, of whom I think a greatdeal, I forgot to say that long before the events mentioned in the lastchapter, Humphreys had been suddenly called away from his peacefulretreat in the hill country of Clark township. In fact, the "importantbusiness," or "the illness of a friend," whichever it was, occurred thevery next day after Norman Anderson's father returned from Louisville,and reported that he had secured for his son an "outside situation,"that is to say, a place as a collector.
When he had gone, Jonas remarked to Cynthy Ann, "Where the carcass is,there the turkey-buzzards is gethered. That shinin' example of earlypiety never plays but one game. That is, fox-and-geese. He's gone aftera green goslin' now, and he'll find him when he's fattest."
But the gentle singing-master had come back from his excursion, and wastaking a profound interest in the coming end of the world. Jonasobserved that it "seemed like as ef he hed charge of the wholeperformance, and meant to shet up the sky like a blue cotton umbrell.He's got a single eye, and it's the same ole game. Fox and geese always,and he's the fox."
Humphreys still lived at Samuel Anderson's, still devoted himself topleasing Mrs. Abigail, still bowed regretfully to Julia, and spokecaressingly to Betsey Malcolm at every opportunity.
But August was sick at the castle. He was very sick. Every morning Dr.Dibrell, a "calomel-doctor"--not a steam-doctor--rode by the house onhis way to Andrew's, and every morning Mrs. Anderson wondered afresh whowas sick down that way. But the doctor staid so long that Mrs. Abigailmade up her mind it must be somebody four or five miles away, and sodismissed the matter from her mind. For August's return had beenkept secret.
But Julia noticed, in her heart of hearts, and with ever-increasingaffliction, that the doctor staid longer each day than on the daybefore, and she thought she noticed also an increasing anxiety on hisface as he rode home again. Her desire to know the real truth, and tosee August, to do for him, to give her life for him, were wearing heraway. It is hard to see a friend go from you when you have doneeverything. But to have a friend die within your reach, while you areyet unable to help him, is the saddest of all. All this anxiety Juliasuffered without even the blessed privilege of showing it. The pent-upfire consumed her, and she was at times almost distract. Every morningshe managed to be on the upper porch when the doctor went by, and fromthe same watch-tower she studied his face when he went back.
Then came a morning when there were two doctors. A physician from thecounty-seat village went by, in company with Dr. Dibrell. So there mustbe a consultation at the castle. Julia knew then that the worst had tobe looked in the face. And she longed to get away from under thesearching black eyes of her mother and utter the long-pent cry ofanguish. Another day of such unuttered pain would drive her clean mad.
That evening Jonas came over and sought an interview with Cynthy Ann. Hehad not been to see her since his unsuccessful courtship. Julia feltthat he was the bearer of a message. But Mrs. Anderson was in one of hermost exacting humors, and it gave her not a little pleasure to keepCynthy Ann, on one pretext and another, all the evening at her side. HadCynthy Ann been less submissive and scrupulous, she might have brokenaway from this restraint, but in truth she was censuring herself forhaving any backsliding, rebellious wish to talk with Jonas after she hadimagined the idol cast out of her heart entirely. Her conscience was atank-master not less grievous than Mrs. Anderson, and, between the two,Jonas had to go away without leaving his message. And Julia had to keepher breaking heart in suspense a while longer.
Why did she not elope long ago and get rid of her mother? Because shewas Julia, and being Julia, conscientious, true, and filial in spite ofher unhappy life, her own character built a wall against such adisobedience. Nearly all limitations are inside. You could do almostanything if you could give yourself up to it. To go in the teeth ofone's family is the one thing that a person of Julia's character andhabits finds next to impossible. A beneficent limitation of nature; forthe cases in which the judgment of a girl of eighteen is better thanthat of her parents are very few. Besides, the inevitable"heart-disease" was a specter that guarded the gates of Julia's prison.Night after night she sat looking out over the hills sleeping in hazydarkness, toward the hollow in which stood the castle; night after nightshe had half-formed the purpose of visiting August, and then thelife-long habit of obedience and a certain sense of delicacy held herback. But on this night, after the consultation, she felt that she wouldsee him if her seeing him brought down the heavens.
It was a very dark night. She sat waiting for hours--very long hoursthey seemed to her--and then, at midnight, she began to get readyto start.
Only those who have taken such a step can understand the pain ofdeciding, the agony of misgivings in the execution, the trembling thatJulia felt when she turned the brass knob on the front door and liftedthe latch--lifted the latch slowly and cautiously, for it was near thedoor of her mother's room--and then crept out like a guilty thing intothe dark dampness of the night, groping her way to the gate, andstumbling along down the road. It had been raining, and there was notone star-twinkle in the sky; the only light was that of glow-wormsilluminating here and there two or three blades of grass by feebleshining. Now and then a fire-fly made a spot of light in the blackness,only to leave a deeper spot of blackness when he shut off hisintermittent ray. And when at last Julia found herself at the placewhere the path entered the woods, the blackness ahead seemed still morefrightful. She had to grope, recognizing every deviation from thewell-beaten path by the rustle of the dead leaves which lay, even insummer, half a foot deep upon the ground. The "fox-fire," rotting logsglowing with a faint luminosity, startled her several times, and thehooting-owl's shuddering bass--hoo! hoo! hoo-oo-ah-h! (like the awfulkeys of the organ which "touch the spinal cord of the universe")--sentall her blood to her heart. Under ordinary circumstances, she surelywould not have started at the rustling made by the timid hare in thethicket near by. There was no reason why she should shiver so when amisstep caused her to scratch her face with the thorny twigs of a wildplum-tree. But the effort necessary to the undertaking and the agony ofthe long waiting had exhausted her nervous force, and she had none leftfor fortitude. So that when she arrived at Andrew's fence and felt herway along to the gate, and heard the hoarse, thunderous baying of hisgreat St. Bernard dog, she was ready to faint. But a true instinct makessuch a dog gallant. It is a vile cur that will harm a lady. Julia walkedtrembling up to the front-door of the castle, growled at by the hugeblack beast, and when the Philosopher admitted her, some time after shehad knocked, she sank down fainting into a chair.