Chapter 14
Zeke was waiting for me when the elevator doors opened with their annoying ding. Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, he straightened quickly as I stepped into the hall with Salazar and the guards, relieved as ever to be on solid ground.
"Oh God, Allie," he said, worried blue eyes straying to my neck, the blood on my skin and collar. "Are you all right? What happened?"
"I'm fine. " My fingers went self-consciously to my throat, feeling the slight punctures Kanin had left behind. "It's nothing. I've already fed, don't worry about it. " Dr. Emerson had given me a blood bag when I emerged from the dungeon with Kanin and the Prince, and though it was cold and disgusting, I'd choked it down. The wounds hadn't closed completely, and even now, my neck still ached where Kanin had bitten me. The doctor insisted that was normal, that the pain would fade in a day or two, though the faint, tiny scars might remain forever. It was just the nature of a vampire biting one of his own.
Emerson had also insisted that Kanin remain under supervision for at least a night, claiming that, even with a vampire's remarkable healing, it would still be a few days for a vampire to fully recover after being starved for so long. My sire was down in the hospital wing now, being watched carefully by vampiric doctors and several guards, but he was no longer going mad in a lonely dungeon. I had felt a little apprehensive about leaving him, since I'd come so far to find him, but Salazar had assured me he would be well taken care of. That Kanin was a guest in his tower now, and all his needs would be met. That there was no need to worry about my sire; he would allow no harm to befall him, for any reason.
I believed him. After all, he needed Kanin alive and well to go after Sarren.
Salazar regarded me with blank eyes. "I have business to attend," he stated, bored and coldly polite once more. "If you have need of me, please inform a pet or a guard. I've told you where you can find your temporary quarters, and the servants can attend to your other needs. Feel free to wander about, but remember, you are not to leave the tower until you are ready to go after Sarren. I suggest you do that soon. Tomorrow, perhaps. As soon as the sun goes down. "
"We'll leave when Kanin is well enough," I said flatly. The Prince's mouth twitched in a humorless smile.
"Trust me, girl. You do not have long. And neither does Kanin. "
He strode away with his guards, leaving me to ponder that ominous statement and hope he was just making empty threats.
Zeke stepped close and hesitantly put his hands on my waist, watching me intently. "Did you find Kanin?" he asked, drawing me against him. "Is he all right?"
"Yeah. " I put my hands on his chest, splaying my fingers, feeling his heart beat under my palm. Funny how such a simple thing like a heartbeat could fascinate me now that I didn't have one. Or maybe it was just Zeke's heart that I was fascinated with. "I think he's going to be fine. "
His hand rose to brush the hair off my shoulder, fingers gently skimming the dried blood on my neck. My stomach danced, even though the Hunger stirred at the contact, like a sleepy, sated beast. "I was worried about you," he whispered.
"What? Why?" I tried to ignore my fluttering insides, the fingers tracing soft patterns against my skin. "This is nothing, Zeke. Hell, I've been shot, stabbed, staked, bludgeoned, cut open and thrown out a window. Super vampire healing, remember? A couple little bite marks aren't going to slow me down. "
"It's not the physical scars that are the most painful," Zeke said. "I know you can take care of yourself, probably better than anyone. Certainly better than me. " He smiled a little, reminding me of how handsome he was when he smiled. How he could make my cold heart stutter when he did that. "But I know you, Allie. Even if Kanin was Lost, like Salazar said, you wouldn't have given up on him. You would have kept trying to save him, whether he could be saved or not. It's just how you are. "
Since when? I thought, giving him a dubious look. He chuckled.
"You know it's true. " He brushed a thumb across my cheek, his gaze intense. "I didn't see Jackal down there, risking his life. Just you. " His voice went low and soft, tinted with a little regret. "I'd forgotten how incredible you really are. "
The Hunger stirred again, and I tensed. Getting too close, Allison. It doesn't matter what Zeke thinks of you-you're still a vampire and he's still human. This won't end well, and you're not helping either of you.
"Speaking of which, where is Jackal?" I said, pulling back. Zeke let me go, looking disappointed but resigned. "I should tell him what happened-not that he cares, but he should at least know that Kanin is safe. "
I also wanted to tell them both what I had discovered in that cold hospital room, the horrible truth about what Sarren had really unleashed. I remembered the dying vampire, the flesh slowly rotting away as it stared at me, pleading and hopeless, and felt ill. The Prince was right. Bargain or no, we had to find Sarren, force a cure from him. Before this new virus wiped out both our races.
First things first, though, and that was Kanin's recovery.
"Last I saw him," Zeke said, "he went upstairs with a few other vampires. They were having some sort of gathering, I think. I'm not really sure, I didn't want to stick around. A couple were starting to stare at me like I was the main course. "
I bristled at the thought of Zeke in a crowded room of vampires, all eyeing him hungrily. He didn't have any weapons on him now and would make an easy target. Just another human to be fed upon and discarded.
"Come on," I told him, starting down the hall. "Let's go see if we can find the lazy bastard. We're here to do something, not sit around sipping blood from wineglasses and cozying up to the vamps of the Inner Court. "
We wandered the many hallways and rooms for a while, searching for the raider king. The tower was like a maze of sterile tile floors and glass windows and, after a while, all the rooms began to look the same. We avoided the elevator and took the stairs between floors, passing well-dressed humans and even better dressed vampires on their way to whatever vampirey business took place around here. Many of the vamps, seeing me in my long black coat and scruffy boots, regarded me with disdain, like I was a mongrel dog come in off the streets. I ignored them, unless their attention shifted to Zeke. Then I would give them a hard stare and the hint of a curled lip, and they would either smirk or stare coldly back before continuing on.
"I wish I had my knife," Zeke muttered as we ducked into another stairwell, continuing toward the top. His voice echoed hollowly in the dark passageway. "Or a stake. Or something to defend myself with. Now I know what a rabbit feels every time a wolf passes by. " He rubbed his arm, frowning. "I wonder how the humans working here can stand it. "
"I'll make sure Salazar gives you back your weapons when we head out," I told him, stepping into yet another identical hallway. "Until then, you probably don't want to draw a lot of attention to yourself. "
"Yeah. " He stabbed his fingers through his hair, looking up and down the empty corridor. "It's just frustrating. I know I'm deadweight right now. If anything happens, I won't be much use. "
"You are not deadweight. " Anyone who could face down Sarren with nothing but a crossbow and still come out of it alive was anything but useless.
He just smiled grimly.
I was about to protest again when a strange noise began to filter down the hall, making me blink and cock my head. It was faint, melodic and unlike anything I'd ever heard. I couldn't even describe it. The closest thing I could think of was someone using a pipe to bang a tune on another pipe, but that was just noise. This was haunting and eerie and full of emotion and sound, like sadness or longing given voice.
Unable to resist, I followed the strange tune down the corridor, past a pair of open doors, and into some kind of gathering place. This room was carpeted in red, with plush black couches and chairs surrounding low tables, and a glass wall showing the ruined cityscape beyond.
Vampires lounged in corners or on couches, looking elegant and bored, their pale skin a s
tark contrast to the redand-black furniture. Uniformed humans slipped among them, carrying trays of wineglasses-blood, of course-and whisking away the empty cups. On the right, a black marble counter dominated the wall, with a couple vampires seated at the bar, a weary-faced human behind it. I frowned when I saw none other than Jackal seated at one of the stools, glass in hand, talking to a lithe vampire woman with long blond hair. But I wasn't focused on him at this point; my attention was on the large object sitting in the far corner.
The one making the strange, haunting noise. A human sat in front of it, his hands moving over a black-and-white shelf set into the dark, polished wood. I stared, entranced. The sounds it was making, the eerie cacophony of emotion, pulled at my insides and made my throat feel tight. I closed my eyes, letting the sound flow through me, forgetting everything for the moment.
I heard Zeke's footsteps behind me, felt him gazing over my shoulder at the device making the strange, terrible, beautiful sounds.
"A piano," he said, his voice full of awe. "I haven't seen one since I was a kid. The old church used to have one, very out of tune, I remember. Of course, me banging on it every week probably didn't help. "
"A piano?" I opened my eyes as I scoured my memory for the word, finding vague, half-forgotten stories. "This. . . is music?"
Zeke turned to me, blinking. "You've never heard music before?" He sounded stunned.
I shook my head, unable to tear my gaze from the strange instrument. The Fringe was full of ugly noises: screams, shouting, cries of terror and anger and pain. My mother used to hum to me when I was very little, and I used to think her voice was the most beautiful sound in the world. I had never heard anything. . . like this.
"Oh, Allie," Zeke whispered, and stepped up beside me. "Come here a second. "
Taking my hand, he drew me aside, to the back of the room where the shadows were the thickest, away from the vampires near the bar. I gave a puzzled frown, tensing, as he put my hands on his shoulders and drew me close, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"What are we doing?"
He smiled sadly and put a hand over mine, his eyes asking me to trust him. "Just follow my lead," he murmured, and began swaying back and forth, a slow, easy rhythm.
I resisted a moment, unsure of what to do. Gradually, though, I began to feel what he was doing, moving in time to the. . . music, and started to follow. It was strange, this slow, unhurried motion, our bodies mirroring each other as we swayed and circled, but somehow it felt right. We didn't stray from that corner, remaining in the shadows, but Zeke pulled me against him and I closed my eyes, and for just a few heartbeats, with the music and darkness swirling around us, we were lost in our own world.
"I missed you, you know," Zeke murmured, bending his head to mine. I clenched my fingers in his shirt and listened to his pounding heart. "The whole time I was in Eden, I couldn't stop thinking of you. When I woke up and they told me you had gone. . . " He shook his head, and his heartbeat sped up. "I wanted to come after you right then, but I knew I had to take care of the others, that they were my first, my most important, responsibility. And I did. They're safe, every single one of them, even though I had to let them go. "
"Let them go?"
He swallowed hard, and his grip on me tightened. "Caleb, Matthew and Bethany were adopted by a great couple who always wanted kids. They have chickens and cats and goats, and everything they could ever want. Jake actually married one of the nurses at the checkpoint clinic, and Silas and Teresa moved into a little cottage by the lake's edge. They're happy. They're finally home. " His eyes glimmered, even as he gave a faint smile. "They don't need me anymore. "
"Zeke. . . "
He gazed at me, his expression so tender I felt my heart constrict. "There was just one person missing," Zeke whispered, his hand framing my face. "One person I couldn't bring home. "
I gave him a sad smile. "Eden isn't my home. "
"It could be. "
I shook my head. "How?" I whispered. "That is the one place in the whole world where there are no vampires or rabids, the one place where humans are free, and you're saying they'd let a vampire just walk in? With no consequences whatsoever?" I gave a rueful, not-quite smile. "They already kicked me out once, Zeke. I told you before, Eden isn't for me. "
Zeke ran his fingers through my hair. "You're not like the others," he murmured. "I know you. I've seen you. " He drew me closer. "You're the one vampire in the world they might let in. When this is all over, you could come back with me. We could go to Eden together-"
"Stop," I whispered, putting my hands on his chest. This was getting dangerous. Again. The Hunger emerged once more, making want to step close, pull him to me and sink my fangs into his neck. Zeke gazed down at me, pleading, and I kept my voice firm. "I can't, Zeke. I'm still a vampire. That won't ever change. You don't know me as well as you think. "
Kanin's face swam across my mind, vicious and snarling, a demon fueled only by Hunger and rage. If the Hunger could overtake even one like Kanin, what hope did I have to keep it contained? The bite marks at my neck suddenly throbbed, making me wince. If I reverted to that while in Eden, if Zeke or Bethany were nearby. . .
No, that would never happen, because I would not get that close. The others were safe in Eden, far from the madness surrounding the rest of the world. They were safe from vampires and rabids and monsters and demons. Safe from me.
Except for this one stubborn human who kept playing with my heart.
Zeke looked like he was about to say something, but I pushed harder on his chest and stepped back, freeing myself from his arms. "Why didn't you stay in Eden?" I asked roughly, glaring at him. "You were home, Zeke. It was what you were looking for, what you always wanted. Why did you leave?"
He met my gaze, unwavering. "It wasn't home without you. "
I swallowed hard, and suddenly noticed that the piano music had stopped and most of the vampires in the room were gone. Glancing out the window, I gave a start. The sky over the crumbling buildings had faded from black to midnightblue, and many of the stars had disappeared.
Dawn was coming. I'd been so distracted with Zeke, Kanin, Salazar and everything else, I hadn't even noticed. It had been a long night.
Zeke glanced at the window, too, and sighed. "You have to go, don't you?"
Too late, I remembered the reason I'd wanted to come here was to find Jackal and tell him what had happened with Kanin. He was gone now, as was his female companion. Guilt flickered, along with a little anger.
He didn't even bother to ask about Kanin when I came in. I guess I'm the only one who really cares if he lives or dies.
Maybe that was the reason I was such a lousy vampire, why I would never fit in with Salazar or his city vamps. Not that I wanted to in the first place, but beyond being stabbed in the back or destroying a rival, they didn't seem to worry about their kin. Their Prince had nearly been assassinated tonight, and I could just imagine many of them flocked together like vultures, planning, scheming, calculating. I couldn't be like that. No matter how much my demon insisted it was right. That this was what we were.
"Allie," Zeke said quietly, stepping forward. And suddenly, the price of holding on to my humanity, my determination not to be like all the other monsters, was almost too much. In that moment, I'd never wanted to be human more, just so I could be with Ezekiel Crosse. Zeke, who was brave and loyal and selfless, who hated vampires but was still here, surrounded by them, because of me. Who had left Eden and traveled across the country, to New Covington, because he wanted to bring me home.
And I could never go with him.
I backed away, increasing the distance between us. He watched sadly, making no move to follow, but the yearning in his eyes made my throat ache. I had to get away from him now, or I'd be tempted to do something we'd both regret.
"Wait," Zeke whispered as I drew back. "Allison, please. Don't run off again. "
I shook my head. "Good night, Zeke," I t
old him simply, and walked away, out of the room and into the hall, leaving him alone.
There was a guard, a human one, outside the door to the guest room Salazar had assigned me that night, standing there calmly with his hands clasped behind him. I gave him a wary frown as I approached, but he didn't acknowledge me until I stood right in front of him. And still, he stared over my shoulder, blocking the doorway, and didn't look like he was going to move. I was tired, both in body and spirit, the encounters with Kanin, Salazar and Zeke all tugging at different parts of my mind. I did not want a fight with a nameless guard in the middle of the corridor.
"Are you going to let me in?" I asked, feeling the approach of the sun outside the building and just wanting to crawl beneath the covers of a bed to pass out. "This is my room, right? I didn't get Jackal's quarters by mistake?"
He ignored me but lifted a hand and rapped twice on the door. "She's here, sir," he called through the wood. There was a muffled reply from within, and the guard stepped aside, nodding for me to go on. Puzzled, I pushed the door open and stepped warily through.
Say what you would about Salazar, he certainly knew how to live, if this guest suite was any indication. It was a pretty impressive room, much grander than what I was used to. The lighting was muted, orange lamps throwing shadows across the floor and rose-colored walls. Real lamps. Not flickering candles or oil lanterns, or the rarer battery-powered flashlight. A massive bed stood against the far wall, long black curtains draping the frame to ensure total darkness while you slept. Even thicker curtains hung from a pair of glass doors at the back, which I assumed led onto a balcony and a view of the city below.
Standing in front of those doors, arms crossed over his thin chest and watery gaze meeting mine across the room, was Stick.
Inwardly, I groaned. I was tired. Dawn was almost here. I did not want to deal with him right now. Stick wasn't alone, either. Another guard stood in the corner, eyes blank, gazing straight ahead. But his hands held a crossbow, already strung, ready to unleash it on me if I tried anything.
"What do you want, Stick?" I asked, coming slowly into the room, keeping a wary eye on the guard with the crossbow. Strangely enough, I wasn't even that angry. Disappointed, perhaps. Disgusted with his choice, that he had become a pet in the vampire regime I despised, a fawning lapdog to the Prince himself. But I was more weary than angry, and not even remotely surprised. I'd always known, deep down, that Stick had betrayed me. And it seemed he'd taken to this new role like a fish to water. I couldn't even muster the energy to care.
His pale eyes narrowed. "It's Mr. Stephen, now," he reminded me in a sharp tone. "And I want to know what you're doing here, Allie. Why you're really in New Covington. Is it revenge? Come to get even for what happened?" His lips thinned. "I'm warning you, I'm not the same pathetic Fringer you knew before. My word carries power around here. I can get you thrown into the dungeon if I wanted. Remember that, if you're thinking of sneaking into my room one night. "
"I didn't come here for you," I told him disdainfully. "Trust me, you were the farthest thing from my mind when I entered New Covington. I'm here for Kanin, nothing else. "
That didn't please him at all. His nostrils flared, and he stiffened, as if offended. You'd think he'd wanted me to have come back for revenge. "Liar," he accused. "You always hated me. You wanted to see me gone, just like Lucas and Rat. And now that you're a vampire, you've come back to punish me for. . . " He trailed off.
"For what?" I challenged. "Selling me out? Giving the Prince the location of your friend, so you could come live in the tower as a pet?"
"You were a vampire. " Stick glared back, remorseless. "You showed up in the middle of the night after disappearing for weeks, and you were a monster. What was I supposed to think? What was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know, Stick. " My voice came out soft, resigned. "Maybe talk to me? Let me explain my side of the story? You could have given me that much, at least. I think. . . " I hesitated, to see if the words were true, if they were real. They were. "I would have done the same for you. "
"Well, it's too late for that now. " There might've been a hint of regret in Stick's voice, or I might've imagined it. "What's done is done, and we both chose our paths. Because you did choose this, right, Allison?" His watery gaze sharpened. "There's no way you became a vampire by accident. You chose to become a monster. "
Now, I felt a hot stab of anger. And something entirely unexpected. Hurt. "You want to know how I became a monster?" I snapped, making Stick flinch and the guard raise his crossbow threateningly. "Remember the night outside the Wall, where Rat and Lucas died? Remember the rabids that were chasing us, the ones that I led away from you? They killed me. Ran me down and tore me apart. And then Kanin showed up as I was dying and gave me the choice. Die for real, or become undead. So yes, I took the deal to become a vampire. And you took the deal to become a pet. I guess that makes both of us monsters, doesn't it?"
Stick's jaw tightened. He nodded slowly, as if he had just confirmed something he'd known all along. "I knew you blamed me," he muttered, and I clenched my fists to keep myself from flying at him and slamming his skinny frame into the glass. It's not about you, I wanted to scream at him. It was never about you. I never blamed you that I became a monster-that was my choice. But you betrayed me to the Prince without a second thought. Vampire or no, I thought our friendship meant more than that. I thought. . . I meant more.
Unclenching my fingers, I composed myself, forcing my fangs back into my gums. The rage flickered and died, and cold numbness spread out to take its place. I hadn't known him, not at all. The realization was a bitter lump in my stomach, acrid and poisonous. "Stick," I said dully, feeling as if a part of me had died. Or worse, that it just didn't care anymore. "I'm tired, and it's nearly dawn. If there's nothing you want, please go away so that I can sleep. "
Stick shook his head, his expression curling in disgust. "You always thought you were so superior," he said, as if he were the one betrayed. "You never thought I could be more than I was. That I was just some poor, pathetic kid you let hang around. You never thought I could have dreams beyond trailing in your shadow, did you?"
"Are you done?" I asked flatly. He sneered.
"You haven't changed," he stated, determined, I supposed, to get a rise out of me. I wondered if he knew what a risky game he was playing. Favored pet or no, you could only push a vampire so far. "You might be a bloodsucker now, but you're still the same ignorant street urchin you always were. Who's this new kid you have following you around like a lost puppy? Does he know what you really are?"
"Leave Zeke out of this," I snapped, shooting him a warning glare. Fear rose up, and I stifled it, keeping my voice steady. "This has nothing to do with him. He's no threat to you or anyone. "
"That remains to be seen," Stick replied, smirking faintly. He'd gotten what he wanted-a way to raise my hackles- and wasn't about to let it go. He didn't know how very, very dangerous this newest game was, especially when it came to Zeke. "As far as I'm concerned, he might've been the one to shoot that crossbow at the Prince. " Stick met my gaze, mean and challenging. "Better be careful, Allison. He's only human, and around here, humans go missing sometimes. If you want to ensure his safety, I suggest you start treating me with respect. "
I took a deep, calming breath, trying to dissolve the sudden fury, the urge to stalk forward, grab my former friend and snap his skinny little neck.
"Stick," I said very softly but making certain he heard every syllable. My voice trembled, but it was from an icy rage, from holding myself back. My fangs flashed in the dim light as I faced him. "Listen to me very carefully. If you lay one finger on Zeke, if he is harmed, for any reason, all the guards in the world won't be enough to protect you from me. "
Stick went pale, but he still raised his chin, eyes flashing. "You. . . you can't talk to me like that anymore, Allie," he stammered. "I'm in charge here, and you're supposed to listen to me now. I could order your huma
n thrown in the dungeon, and the Prince wouldn't care. I could have him tortured, drained until he's nothing but skin and bones, and no one would raise a hand to stop it. " He was feverish now, staring at me with a mix of superior defiance and fear. I'd never seen him like this, and I didn't care. All I knew was that he was threatening Zeke, who had never raised a hand to him or even spoken to him. And if he didn't leave my room right now, things were going to get ugly.
I snarled, baring fangs, and he jumped, skittering backward. The guard raised the crossbow, pointing it at me, but I didn't move. "Get out!" I told Stick, barely holding on to my rage. The Hunger had emerged full force with my anger and was goading me to attack, to rip out hearts and snap bones and sink my fangs into soft fleshy throats. "Get out of here, Stick," I hissed through my fangs. "Right now, before I tear off your stupid head and throw it through the window. "
Stick still looked defiant, like he didn't believe I would really hurt him. Thankfully, his guard was a bit more sensible. "Sir," he said tightly, easing forward with his crossbow raised. "Sir, we should go. The Prince will be upset if you're harmed by one of his guests. Sir, we need to leave now. "
Gently but firmly, the guard took his elbow, pulling him away. Stick resisted a moment then relented with an irritated huff.
"Get your hands off me. " Stick yanked his arm loose, but continued to walk toward the door, glaring back even as the guard continued to herd him out. "Remember what I said, Allie," he threw over his shoulder. "I'm in charge around here. You're not the important one anymore. "
I stood there seething long after the door closed. And, for the first time since that night in the rain, I wondered what would've happened if I'd just let Stick. . . die. If I hadn't led them away, straight to my death. If the rabids had taken him, instead of me.