I took another deep breath before asking my first question. “Were you human once?”
He gave a slow nod. “I was. All vampires were human once.”
“Who were you? As a human, I mean.”
His face immediately darkened. “I am afraid my past life is hardly different from the life I live today. I do not know the precise year I was born, but I do know it had to have been in the 1530s.”
“Where were you born?” I asked.
“Hungary.”
The blood drained from my face. Shadow was immediately alarmed.
“What is it?”
“I…” I shook my head. “If you were born in the 1530s in Hungary…that was during the wars with the Ottoman Turks.”
He smiled grimly. “So, you know your history.”
“I like history.”
“Then you must know it was not at all a pleasant time to be born in. Especially if you were a peasant.”
“Were you a peasant?”
“I was. My mother came from a very poor family. The periods of starvation and cold they suffered were frequent, yet if they did not obey the whims of the soldiers who fought against the Turks, or more dangerously, the elites, it was inevitable they would lose their lives.”
Nausea settled in the pit of my stomach. I knew how the Hungarian peasants were treated by the nobility in the sixteenth century. The elites could torture, rape, and kill to their hearts content, and no one would turn a hair. In fact, torture, rape, and death were the norm in that time.
“I do not know the true origins of my father, but I do know he was a soldier who fought in the wars. He became infatuated with my mother and often took her away from her family. She always returned, but not without a price. I do not believe he was a sexual sadist, but when she came back, there were always bruises on her arms, and sometimes her face, though he never broke any bones. In such a time, such injuries could permanently maim an individual. Or kill them.”
He paused, letting me take what he just said in, before continuing.
“Nearly all of my earliest memories consist of hunger and cold. I was extremely young, but I knew I was deeply resented by my mother’s family. It would have been effortless to have me cast out to die of exposure. I cannot say I blame them. I was a bastard child born out of a forced, loveless union, and I all did was consume their precious food. I was hated…but I knew my mother cared for me somewhat. I do remember her holding me and gazing at me with both resentment and love. I know she was the reason I did not die.
“When I grew older, my family’s hatred for me reached its pinnacle. My two uncles and one aunt took substantial pleasure in beating me if they ever saw me swallow so much as a piece of candle wax. When I was around six, my grandfather caught me attempting to steal some bread. He tried to cut off my hand with an ax, but my mother arrived in time to stop him. I know they secretly hoped if I received a terrible enough injury, I would die from it. Medicine and doctors were nothing more than fairy tales to a Hungarian peasant.”
I had been struggling not to cry since the beginning, but every word Shadow spoke brought me closer to breaking. He noticed and tenderly touched my face.
“Do you wish me to stop?”
“No,” I said immediately. “No, I need to hear this.”
He nodded, and I saw the admiration in his eyes before he continued.
“Young as I was, I was not cowed by my family’s abuse. Quite the contrary, it honed survival instincts I did not know I had until then. I could not have been more than seven when I began to steal food from other peasants, and I was very careful about it. One mistake would have meant death. Ironically, it was because of the nobles that I managed to steal so much food. When they burst inside a neighbor’s home to beat them or rape them, I would sneak inside and make my escape, sometimes with a full loaf of bread. It was then that my family realized that at long last, I could actually be of some use. It did not earn me any affection, but the beatings became considerably lighter. Secretly, I yearned for their love, but I knew I would never get it. I took a substantial amount of satisfaction in eating my fill after a raid before bringing the rest home, though I paid for it when a family member decided I had not brought enough. The severe beatings only came after I went home empty-handed.
“It continued that way for years. In fact, I became somewhat of a minor legend among the peasants. Of course, they never knew it was a boy stealing their food. When they could not accuse rats, nobles, or soldiers, they accused a mysterious shadow demon for their misfortunes.”
My eyes went wide. “Is that how--?”
“I was never named. As I said, even my own mother deeply resented me. Her love stretched far enough to preserve my life, but I do not believe even she could stand to bestow a true name on a child of misfortune. I was not given a name until I was caught stealing.”
“Caught?”
“As per routine, I waited until a neighbor’s home was raided by another. At first, I thought he was a soldier, or perhaps my arrogance was getting the better of me. Just as I thought I was about to make a clean getaway with a tiny piece of bread, someone grabbed me. Someone with more strength and power than I could have ever dreamed of. I was slammed against a wall, and found myself staring into the eyes of a devil. A devil with corpse-pale skin, glowing blue eyes as feral as a wolf’s, and two pointed fangs dripping with blood.
“I imagine vampires had been feeding off the peasants for quite some time. It was more than easy to get away with it thanks to the way the nobles treated us. I later learned that this particular vampire had actually been living in the forest beside our village for years.”
“What happened after he grabbed you?” I asked.
Shadow smiled. “I had lived with death since the day I was born, and no small part of me longed for it. I stared into the devil’s eyes and felt relief as his fangs pierced my neck. I did not die, however. I woke up in a cave in the forest in the middle of the night. The demon tossed me some meat scraps before asking me if I was satisfied with my life. I vehemently answered no. He was amused and asked if I was willing to endure my horrible life for several years longer if it meant something greater in the future. I was so surprised, I did not reply. He told me the decision was mine before leaving the cave. I tried to find him, but to no avail.
“I did what he asked. I returned to my miserable life. But as I grew older, stealing became harder. I was caught several times and barely escaped with my life. The need for something more became greater, as did my desire for death. It was then that I decided to enlist in the army. The wages were beyond pitiful and the conditions even more so, but it was better than returning to a family that despised me.
I was a very good soldier. I killed many Turks, and for a while, I was almost content. The battles were vicious and bloody. I gloried in every kill. Then one day after a small victory, I discovered a large gold coin in the hands of one of the dead soldiers. It was not Hungarian or Turkish, however. Engraved in it was a dragon with scales and feathers. I should have put it away right away, but I too fascinated by it. My fellow soldiers saw me with my treasure. One demanded I hand it over. I answered with my sword and walked away.
“That night as I sat by a fire staring at the coin, I heard a strange voice whisper to me in the forest. It was compelling and sounded vaguely familiar. I went into the trees, attempting to navigate solely by moonlight. When I reached a small clearing, I realized I had been followed. Ten of my fellow soldiers surrounded me. They wanted my coin, and my life. I fought them. I reveled in every kill, but I lost. Just as I was about to die, something dark sped through the woods and decapitated the remaining soldiers. I was losing blood from many wounds but I recognized the demon I had met as a child over a decade before. I was stunned to see him. I hadn’t forgotten him, but I had become enthralled with the battles to the point where they were all I lived for. The demon smiled at my surprise. He told me he had been watching me the entire time. He was pleased that I had survived for so long. But now I was dy
ing. He told me he could give me my life back. Not only my life, but a life of power, purpose, freedom. Everything I longed for. His promises were more than compelling, and I realized I was not satisfied with dying in the woods because of my greedy comrades. I wanted more. And I believed the demon would give it to me.”
“Did he?” I asked.
“At first, my conversion was everything he had promised. I was a slave to the night, but I possessed power and strength beyond my dreams. My instinct to kill had also amplified a thousand-fold. In the beginning, practically all I knew was bloodlust. I killed so often I do not remember every death. In fact, the only deaths that are perfectly clear in my mind are that of my family.”
I blinked, stunned. “Your family!?” I blurted. “You…you killed them!?”
His gaze averted from mine. “I am a vengeful demon, Mercedes. Though I understand their treatment of me, I never stopped hating them. I wanted them to know what it felt like to be helpless, to be blamed for things they had absolutely no control of. I killed them all, including my mother.”
He stared at me, waiting for my judgment. It did take me several moments to get over my horror, my disgust, but looking into the eyes of my love, I knew I could not hate him.
“I’m still here, Shadow,” I said. I grasped his hand. “I’m not going to pretend that I understand, because I could never hope to. But back then…life wasn’t just a struggle, it was a cesspool, an incessant battle to survive. I hate what your family did to you, and I also hate what you did to them, but I can’t blame any of you.”
He looked away, and I stared at the hand I was holding, giving him a moment’s privacy.
“I cannot express my gratitude for your forgiveness,” he said in a low voice. “Nor can I express my admiration for forgiving me without condoning me.”
I stroked his hand. “What happened afterward?”
“Vampire society was very divided back then. Before the class system was set into place, there were only two fractions. We often look down on humans for hating each other for petty differences, but vampires hated each other for perhaps the most common and petty thing of all.”
“Religion?” I guessed.
“Religion. The first fraction of vampires worshipped Lord Chaos and Lord Order, also known as the Brothers of Duality. The second fraction worshipped a deity that I am sure a history lover like you will know: the feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl.”
“I do know about him,” I said. “He was worshipped by ancient civilizations like the Aztecs and the Mayans.”
“Yes. While the first fraction hated Quetzalcoatl, all vampires have deep Mesoamerican roots.”
“I know,” I said. “The royal palace is designed as a step pyramid, and the amount of jade and obsidian artifacts the royals decorate it with, not the mention the jewelry they wear…” I smiled bitterly. “To have Mesoamerican roots, yet only respect certain parts of it…”
“Self-righteous hypocrisy is always an inevitable side effect of fanaticism,” Shadow said with equal bitterness. “My maker educated me about our lord, and when I showed him the coin I found before, he took it as a sign, that I was destined to become a vampire. That I was favored by the lord. That I would do great things. I believed him and converted to their religion. But the first fraction was rapidly growing more violent. They feared that if ‘serpent-worshippers’ as they called us grew greater in numbers, we would erase all knowledge of Chaos and Order. They declared war on us over one-hundred years after I was turned. They fought without a shred of honor, and it was the only reason they killed all of our ancients. My maker was among them.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
He nodded. “They didn’t want us all dead, though. The war left the vampire race dangerously low, and we do not just turn any human. We turn only the strongest. The royal family decided our race could not afford such a loss, so they offered us the opportunity to join them in the society they were building in a separate dimension they discovered. It was a place we could access and return to the mortal world at any time. The sun was forever blocked, and there were only vampires. The only condition was that we had to acknowledge Chaos and Order as our gods.”
“What did you do?”
Shadow grimaced. “We waited for Quetzalcoatl. We had no ancients, and our numbers were pitiful. We would be wiped out if we dared to cross the first fraction. So, we waited and prayed for aid for ten years, but our lord never answered our cries. What is more, the royal family did everything in their power to ensure we would be persuaded to join them. They spread rumors about the identities of supposed vampires, which caused many of my comrades and friends to be hunted. Some were killed. Others were forced into permanent exile. It was a no-win situation. We could either join the first fraction at the price of our religion, or we could live out our immortal lives as filthy, hated, poverty-stricken monsters.
“Needless to say, we chose the former. Nearly all of the second fraction, myself included, grew to resent and hate Quetzalcoatl for abandoning us. We had fought, suffered, and lost countless loved ones all in his name, and he did not help us in our most desperate hour. I renounced my faith in him and joined the first fraction, along with my remaining friends and comrades. We swore oaths to the royal family and the Brothers of Duality, and then we as vampires became a single society.”
“But I’m guessing the royal family failed to mention that although you were a part of vampire society, your place in it would be radically different that the ones in the original first fraction,” I said dryly.
“I could not have put it better myself,” Shadow said. “Vampire society adopted its caste system after the remaining section fraction was indoctrinated, and…well, I believe you can fill in the rest of the details. Over the centuries, the elites made sure to turn as many strong humans as they could. But Untouchables are only allowed to turn ten humans per year.”
“The elites are afraid of an uprising,” I concluded.
“Yes.” Shadow was silent for a while, and I didn’t press him. Eventually, he continued. “I did not feel betrayed after my fellows and I became Untouchables. I was completely unsurprised. But that did not quell my hatred. For centuries, I was subjected to prejudice and abuse, but I never forgot my first century as a vampire. I had friends, and I felt as if for the first time in my life, I belonged somewhere. I longed for that, to experience that freedom again. But the elites ensured I would never know such a life again. I hoped for it, and I despised myself for hoping. I withdrew, becoming bitter and reclusive. I also made no secret for my hatred of elites. I obeyed them, but I also provoked them and paid for it. It was not long before Xavier took an interest in me. I amused him deeply. It was the only reason he let me live for so long. But he would have had killed me eventually. Or my self-hatred would have consumed me to the point where I would take a personal suicide mission.” He looked right at me and tenderly brushed my cheek with his fingers. “But I did not. And I have you to thank for that. You saved me, my love.”
Tears filling my eyes, I gripped his hand and kissed it. “No, my love. You saved yourself. I helped you, but you made the choice to walk into the light.”
Obsidian eyes narrowed, and he took my face in his hands. “You are my light,” he said harshly and kissed me desperately.
*********
Chapter 7
Lies are fed to friends and foes
But guilt breaks not my inner woes
The key must pass to other hands
For war to brew between the lands
Tarasque
My human body, while frail, proved to be highly adaptable. It was not long before I grew used to the sun and the wind on my delicate skin. Therefore, I could explore without fear of the physical sensations driving me mad.
For a while, I was able to forget that I was being blackmailed into visiting another world. Revolting as humans were on the inside, they were highly fascinating to watch. I would even go so far as to say that they had somewhat redeemable qualities. Mothers lo
oked after their children, and husbands made sure that their mates and offspring were provided for. Extinction was not an option for humans. They would always find a way to survive. They were adapters.
I spoke to several humans, both male and female of all ages. However, I never found such conversations enjoyable. They smiled those strange smiles at me, but they immediately ceased contact when they believed I said something blunt or rude. Humans were emotionally sensitive. It was something I learned during my many years of observing them.
As I walked down a hard, gray street, my thoughts strayed to the human called Mercedes Strand. She was by far the most engaging human I had ever encountered. Also the most confusing. I wanted to see her again. I wanted her to answer my questions. I wanted to know why she was so different from these other humans. In fact, I wondered if she was the reason why I was being blackmailed. After all, she was the first human I came into contact with from the moment I set foot in the human world. Perhaps Necoc Yaotl and Blackhole wished to torment me by confusing me.
The notion enraged me. I detested being toyed with. I was the king of all dragons. Those who dared to see me as an object of entertainment would die a slow and painful death.
My nostrils began to expel smoke, and I had to hide myself, lest humans look at me strangely. After calming myself down, I proceeded to walk again.
I will destroy you, I silently vowed. I will destroy you for daring to blackmail me. Moreover, I will destroy you for defiling the sacred ground of my ancestors.
My father.
Disappointed in me as he was, I knew he would not hate me for this. Nothing was more valuable to any self-respecting dragon than the grounds of our ancestors. Not even the most magnificent treasure.
I continued to explore the human world. Truly, it was a very intriguing world. These creatures relied on technology instead of magic, and they did well for themselves. I had several more conversations with humans, but it was far more fascinating to explore the actual world.
However, the same could not be said for Mercedes Strand.