Blackhole drew away from me a bit, and I could sense his shame. Mercedes, you do not understand. I am bound to my father. I have no soul to give that he does not already posses. I have to obey him. Nothing will ever change that.
“What if he asked you to directly hurt Shadow or myself?” I asked.
Then I would have to obey.
“Do you want to hurt Shadow or myself?”
On my own, I would hurt myself first.
“Then there’s a victory right there.” I put my hand on the Evanescence. “Blackhole, I’m not going to pretend I understand this hold Tezcatlipoca has on you. And I’m not asking anything for myself. For Shadow’s sake and your own sake, I beg you to fight it. But most of all, don’t give up that victory. So long as you keep it, your soul at least will remain your own.”
Blackhole was silent for a very long time.
You know Father has great plans for you.
“Yes,” I said. “He wants me to help him twist the dragons.”
You are strong, Mercedes. But if Father wants you to do something, you will have to obey.
“He does have a hold on me,” I admitted. “But if it gets any stronger, it’ll be my own fault. I’ll never help him twist the dragons.”
I want very much to call you naïve and foolish for believing you can challenge Father.
“But?” I prompted.
I simply cannot. It isn’t something I can explain.
“Tezcatlipoca thrives on the games he plays with other people’s lives. Am I wrong?”
No.
“He needs us, Blackhole,” I insisted. “He needs us to be compliant, to give in to him. If he didn’t, why go through all of this? Why not just twist the dragons himself?”
I…
“Think about that, Blackhole. Think hard.”
I turned away, leaving him alone for a bit. For a while, we just sat there in a companionable silence, lost in our own thoughts.
Mercedes, what about Shadow? If you haven’t given up on me, surely you haven’t given up on him?
“Of course I haven’t given up on him,” I said. “But he still did something I didn’t think him capable of doing. I don’t know what else he could be capable of.”
He would never hurt you, Blackhole insisted.
“But he did,” I said quietly. “And I’m not talking about stabbing me. That was an accident. I still love him, but right now…I can’t be with him. Not until I get a better understanding of who he really is.”
Would you be willing to talk to him?
“I’ll talk to him later. When I have to give him blood.”
I didn’t tell Blackhole how much the thought of talking to Shadow unsettled me. Because it made me think—was I afraid of him? I had felt fear in his presence before during the first times we met. But that had mostly been fear of the unknown. I couldn’t remember feeling this type of fear; for my personal safety and the safety of someone I cared about. Shadow had always given me a sense of security. He told me about his past, I had seen his honor and his courage with my own eyes. He had proven time and time again that he would give his life to protect me.
But that didn’t mean I really knew him. There were still several parts of his personality that were alien to me. Like Lulu had told me, I didn’t need to know him to love him, but I did need to know him in order to stay with him.
***
Shadow
I could not feel my still-healing burns. I was immune to the jeers and taunts of the siren guards as they chained me and proceeded to drag me back to my cell. My mind and soul were capable of registering only one kind of pain. The only pain that mattered.
Get me out of here, Eulathrin. Get me as far away from here as you can.
I had hurt the woman I loved. And now she was afraid of me.
A part of me wanted to laugh at the brutal irony. I had thought her a fool for not being afraid of me the first time we met. I had wanted her to be afraid of me. Now my wish was granted, and instead of giving me satisfaction, it made me want to rip my own heart out.
I had hurt Mercedes. How could I have done such a thing? It did not matter if my intention had been to kill Blackhole. I was a vampire Kshatriya, over five-hundred years old. My reflexes were impeccable. When she threw herself on top of the Evanescence, I should have been able to halt my movements. She was the woman I loved beyond love, the very reason I breathed, my reason for existence. Why hadn’t I stopped?
Was it because I had become so blind with rage that, even for a moment, I cared more about vengeance than I cared about her?
If that was the reason I had not been able to stop, then I would have to let her go. I would have to release her from my wretched existence, no matter how weak I was. If I possessed even a shred of honor, I would never go near her again.
Through blurry vision the gateway to my cell was visible. Yes, that was where I belonged. Locked away. Forbidden from laying my unworthy eyes on the angel of light I had so brutally betrayed. Condemned to live in isolated darkness for all of eternity.
“Look how complacent it is now. It can barely walk on its own! I have never seen anything more pathetic in my life!”
I felt nothing at the taunts. And even if I did, how could I condemn them for speaking the truth? I was weak, I was pathetic, but I would never let go of my honor.
“It was gravely weakened in a battle with King Tarasque.”
“How can it be alive then?”
“I do not know.”
“Then why does it not struggle? Why does it not growl and hiss like the beast that it is?”
“That little human female. She is his mate, and he nearly killed her while attempting to destroy one of our fallen broth—”
“Silence, you fool!”
“Oh. Oh, yes. Please forgive me. But as I was saying, he nearly killed her and now he is consumed by guilt.”
No feeling. It was all true.
“I have never encountered a human before that girl, and I was not impressed. She possesses no extraordinary abilities. I cannot believe she was able to tame such a monster.”
Now my mind stirred in response to a trickle of anger.
“Yes, it is a wonder. She is little more than a weak scrap. How could she have crafted a leash strong enough to hold a vampire?”
The anger turned to rage, melting away the terrible numbness. I embraced it with open arms.
“Forget the beast! I have heard rumors that Eulathrin is taking her to King Tarasque as we speak. Our evil uncle is hard at work corrupting the essence of the dragons.”
“And what in the name of Father of the Morning Star does he need a human for?”
“…Mystery surrounds this human. It unsettles me.”
Several more pairs of clawed footsteps sounded up ahead.
“Is it bound? Is it helpless?” a new agitated voice demanded.
“It is.”
“Excellent.”
A faint warmth on my face.
“Wait! What are you doing? We were given strict orders not to—”
“I do not care if the order came from the queen herself! That thing murdered several guards when it escaped. It drained every last drop of their blood! We cannot afford to kill it, but we can make it suffer beyond its wildest imagination!”
That would have made me laugh if I were capable of doing so at the moment.
“…Then why does it not burn?”
“I…I do not know.”
“Our blood,” another guard hissed. “It consumed siren blood and now it cannot be harmed by the light of the dayfire gem!”
Footsteps approached me. I heard the unsheathing of a blade, felt its cold tip press against my throat. It tilted my head up, locking my gaze with that of a fierce siren female.
“There are other ways to make you suffer, abomination,” she whispered. “Your human mate is being taken to King Tarasque as we speak. I do not know what Smoking Mirror desires her for. I’m praying that he will use her in a painful sacrifice, but I
know he'll use her to twist the essence of the dragons. She is lost, abomination. I’ll be sure to get a hold of her remains if I can—”
In a single burst of strength, the chains wrapped around me snapped. I grabbed the female by the throat.
“You sirens,” I whispered. “Never know when to shut up.”
With a flick of my wrist, she was dead, but I didn’t let her corpse go. I jumped overhead behind the other guards and pierced her limp neck with my fangs. I could only afford to feed for less than two seconds, but it was more than enough. Within twenty seconds, they were all dead and I was gone.
I had to move fast. I may have been able to slaughter ten of them with relative ease, but once word spread about their deaths I could have a hundred on my hands. Satisfying as it was to break their arrogant necks, I had a far, far more important mission right now: Mercedes’ safety.
Her beautiful face rose in my mind. Angelic, pure, unending in compassion and mercy. Mere hours ago, such a sight made me feel grateful beyond measure that such a woman would accept me, would allow me to stand by her side as her love. What a fool I was for believing I could hold such a place in her life no matter how unworthy I was of it. I could not even protect her—from myself of all creatures. I had failed her so many times, each more unforgivable than the last. But I would not abandon her. I would kill the demon lizard who stole her, I would assure her safety from the royal family and Tezcatlipoca somehow, and then I would assure her safety from myself.
Either by my death or my will, she would be safe from me forever.
***
Mercedes
While we waited, I questioned Blackhole about the hold that Tezcatlipoca had on him. He seemed very reluctant to discuss the subject, but I didn’t budge. Because of my ignorance, I could neither judge him nor insist that he fight it without being self-righteous. But I wanted him to fight. He had to fight if he didn’t want Tezcatlipoca to destroy everything he held dear. There had to be a way and I would help him find it.
In the end, Blackhole told me that his devotion to Tezcatlipoca was far more potent than a blood bond. It wasn’t mind control. The Evanescence still had free will like any sentient creature. But their obedience to him was an intrinsic part of themselves, an unshakable instinct. They couldn’t break it any more than they could stop being Evanescence.
So long as they were Evanescence, they would never be free of Tezcatlipoca.
There's my answer.
Granted, it was an answer that led to a thousand more questions. And to answer those questions, I knew what I would have to do.
Mercedes?
Blackhole saw me blanch, but I ignored him. My mind was racing. Tezcatlipoca wanted me to participate in the rituals that would twist the dragons. I could use that to my advantage. I would refuse to help him, but I would observe what he was doing. His methods, his ingredients. Most antidotes lay in the structure of the poison itself. Of course, this went far beyond mere poison, but still…
Mercedes, what are you thinking?
I looked right at him. Before I could speak, the doors swung open. Eulathrin strode in along with several guards.
“Your vampire masters demand your presence,” she told me. I noted the way her eyes flickered toward Blackhole.
“Are you taking me to Tarasque?” I asked. It was a struggle to keep my voice even. Despite my plans, I was terrified and sickened to imagine what Tezcatlipoca was doing to him and his people.
“I am taking you to your vampire masters.” Eulathrin’s voice was flat, devoid of any kindness she had shown me before. “Will you come willingly or not?”
So I was to be taken to the vampires who would then take me to Tarasque. All right, then.
I got up from the bed and began to follow the sirens out. But I halted in my tracks when I remembered something.
“Eulathrin, wait, what about Shadow? He still needs blood.”
“Your vampire mate is irrelevant right now.”
She hadn’t looked at me when she’d replied. Sometimes lack of emotion tended to be more of a giveaway than actual emotion.
“Eulathrin, did he escape?” I whispered.
“Shall I silence her?” one of the guards asked.
“No,” Eulathrin snapped. She grabbed both my arms, her amber eyes slashing at me like a sword. “We are taking you to your vampire masters, and you will be silent. Am I understood?”
I nodded. She didn’t let go of me when we exited the room. Blackhole didn’t follow us. I wasn’t surprised. When no one was watching, Eulathrin met my gaze. It was just one look, but it was more than enough: Shadow had escaped. But the knowledge didn’t mollify me, and not just because I was the only human who could give him blood. He was in pain and he was guilty. It was a deadly combination that often resulted in instability. He would try to find me, and what would he do to anyone who got in the way?
I knew the answer, but I couldn’t dwell on it without feeling ill. I also knew that if Shadow wanted to find me, he would. The fact that he was trapped in the siren kingdom where the sun shone brightly and the citizens were powerful sorcerers meant little. If he wanted to find me, only Tezcatlipoca himself could stop him.
And Tezcatlipoca would stand for no interference while I was brought before the king of the dragons…
I mentally shook my head. Enough, I berated myself. Shadow will survive. He always survives. You’ll see him again, but right now he’s beyond you. You need to focus on what you’re going to do when the vampires take you to Tarasque.
But the truth was I didn’t have the slightest idea what I would do once I saw Tarasque. The terror of what I would see made breathing more difficult by the minute. What would I do when I saw him?
Forget that. What state would I see him in?
“Mercedes Strand, blessed one.”
I hadn’t realized I had been so lost in my own thoughts and fears that I hadn’t been paying attention to where the sirens were leading me. When I looked up at the sound of my name, I saw no less than twenty vampires gathered in front of a smooth, golden wall. Over half them were concealed beneath hooded robes. The others were also concealed, but beneath armor and helmets that resembled jaguars and serpents. The speaker was a tall male bearing a serpent helmet.
“You will come with us by order of Lord Chaos.”
You mean Tezcatlipoca, I corrected bitterly, but didn’t say so out loud. Eulathrin released me and I went over to the vampires.
“We have done what you asked,” one of the siren guards said. His dark brown eyes were calm, but I could sense an underlying revulsion in his posture. “We have not hindered your father’s plans, nor will we ever. Do you give your word of honor that you will leave us be?”
“So long as you know who rules the universe,” the Kshatriya uttered, “you need never fear the wrath of Lord Chaos.”
There were so many ways that answer could be taken, and I was glad to see I was far from the only one who knew that. The lead siren guard’s jaw tightened ever so slightly before he gave a curt nod. Another Kshatriya pulled out a Chaos wand and created a portal on the wall behind them. One by one the vampires entered it. The lead Kshatriya took my arm. I glanced back at Eulathrin, said goodbye with my eyes, and passed through into the unknown.
The nausea I felt upon emerging had nothing to do with the portal itself. I had long since grown used to traveling through them. My heart was thundering in my chest, my ears. I was afraid I would pass out. No. Had to remain strong. People’s lives and souls were at stake. No matter what I saw, I had to remain strong.
At first, I didn’t see much of anything since my eyes needed a minute to adjust to the darkness. I didn’t know where we were and didn’t dare ask any questions. It looked like the center of the Earth. Darkness all around, only kept at bay by a small number of fire pits. It took me a moment to realize that the rock beneath my feet wasn’t rock, but obsidian.
One of the Kshatriya took my arm and we began to walk. I allowed my eyes to take in as much as I could
without seeming too obvious. My ears ended up taking in more than my eyes, though. I heard them. They were all around us. Countless Evanescence. They were all scratching ritualistic symbols into the obsidian with their teeth and claws. But the scratching was nothing compared to the groans. They echoed through the caverns, vibrating against the walls likes the wails of a thousand tortured banshees. They never stopped. They continued in an endless symphony that made my teeth chatter and my spine feel like it was incased in ice. But I continued walking. I had to be brave. No matter what I would see…no matter what I would find…
We eventually stopped in front of a set of doors tall and large enough to make the sirens jealous. It was heavily guarded by Kshatriya. My mind, perhaps desperate to distract me, began to identify the various Aztec symbols carved into the obsidian on its own accord. The effort was in vain. I was distracted, but it was thanks to the fact that the Brahmins, the priests, began to chant and mutter in an ancient language I had no hope of understanding. The Kshatriya backed away as the priests made a circle around me. I remained in the middle, rooted, silent, and terrified out of my mind. One of the priests stepped forward. A moment later, my neck was adorned with a heavy necklace of obsidian. Icy fingers traced symbols on my cheeks and forehead. I barely saw lips continuing to mutter under the heavy hood.
I flinched when the doors swung open. The flinch turned into a full-blown shudder when I heard yet another groan, this one not muffled in the slightest.
The priest stepped aside. He said nothing, but I knew I was supposed to walk through that open door and meet whatever was on the other side.
For Blackhole. For Shadow. For the dragons.
For everyone.
I willed my legs to move. They carried me down a pitch-black corridor. The darkness weighed heavily on my eyes, but I continued to move even as I gritted my teeth against the incessant groans. Someone beyond this darkness was in pain. Someone beyond this darkness needed help.
I clenched my fists as new resolve melted a good portion of the fear away. My head held high, I made my way through the dark. A minute or maybe an hour later, it began to dissipate against a few thin rays of light, which my eyes greedily devoured. I quickened my pace. When I finally emerged from the other side, I saw him.