carried out its sentence of death? It had to be. It was the only thing that made sense. There had been no gurney outside the chamber or any other method to transport the remains out of the prison. Perhaps that was stored somewhere else, maybe in a place that the condemned would not see.
That seems sensible. The most humane choice.
He found it odd that a place so full of evil would bother with such little details. Why make the attempt to treat animals like humans when they were just going to put them down in the end? You put a rabid dog down and didn’t treat it like your favorite puppy. Why waste the same energy on rabid people?
As they left the chamber, his eyes fell on the back door again. It was a curious thing and he hoped to see what secrets it held later this evening. As Dicks shut and locked the chamber, leaving the mystery for another time, Colts caught his mentor staring at the door again. He had a sense that Dicks was almost afraid of what lie behind that door, but that was stupid. Dicks had done the job for so long now that he must just have an ingrained hatred for what the door represented. It wasn’t like there was a monster behind the door waiting to get out and eat whomever was inside the execution chamber.
They spent several more hours preparing for the coming event. They worked hard to get everything perfect. Dicks alternately softened and hardened his emotions as they went about their work. It seemed that the whole process made him more at ease but the chamber itself and any reference to it made him nervous. What could possibly make a man who had put men to death for so long feel so uptight about the room itself?
“To execute a man, the state must do it exactly as the rules have written it,” Dicks explained to him at their dinner break. “That’s what separates us from them-the ability to choose the high road when it would be so easy to take the low.”
Colts didn’t agree. “I see that, but even the Bible says ‘eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.’ If it’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for me. I say one bullet in the head, right between the eyes, so they can see it coming.”
Dicks’ eyebrows raised. “Wow, I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Why not?” Colts returned.
“Because we don’t hire people who say things like that to be on this detail. We can’t be inhumane just because they are. You don’t know these people. You don’t know what drove them to do what they did. Some of them here have the IQ of a 10 year old. Some acted out of self defense. Yes, before you say it, some of them probably deserve to be here, but if you’ve ever heard some of their histories you might think twice about what we do here.”
Colts was deeply offended. “What about the victims?” he complained, trying to keep his emotions under control. “What about the little boy who comes home from school to find police cars everywhere and his mother slaughtered on the living room floor? What about him?”
Dicks cracked a little smile. Colts suddenly knew that Dicks had ferreted out his story. Can’t let him know the whole thing.
“That your story, is it?” Dicks asked knowingly.
Colts hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Yeah maybe,” he replied. “Something like that.”
The two men stared at each other like fighters looking for an opponent’s weakness. Then, ever so slowly, Dicks nodded.
“I get it,” he said. “You’re here for payback.”
Colts said nothing.
“You think you’re going to get that by putting other men to death? You think you’re going to make up for the hurt you’ve lived through by killing bad men?”
Colts swallowed hard. Don’t say anything. Don’t answer him or you’ll give it away.
Dicks sighed heavily. “Let me tell you something, then. But I’m only going to tell the story once and then whatever you think or feel, at least you’ll know.”
He paused. Colts asked, “Know what?”
“You’ll know that when tonight is over, you won’t feel any different. In fact, you will most likely feel worse. And whatever you do, get your butt out of that room before the clock strikes midnight. And do not look at the back door.”
“Why?”
“Just don’t ask,” Dicks replied. His hands were visibly shaking. “Now, for the story. I was married for a month. She was a beautiful woman, the most beautiful woman who ever talked to me. I was so in awe of her that for the first few months we dated, I could hardly say more than yes or no.”
He smiled, leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. “Ah, the funny part was that even as I was totally head over heels for her, she was even more in love with me. I couldn’t believe it. She was way out of my league. Here, look.”
From somewhere unseen, he magically produced a picture of her. They were not encouraged to carry around personal items in the prison. It could create all kinds of problems if the convicts got a hold of them.
“Oh my goodness!” Colts exclaimed. “She is gorgeous. And she was into you?”
Normally, a man disrespected would have taken Colts’ comment personally, but not Dicks. He nodded happily. “Told ya so.”
“Damn, son,” Colts chuckled. He stared at the picture for a few more seconds, then handed it back to Dicks.
“So what happened?”
Dicks palmed the picture and it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “Well,” he said, coughing. “A thief broke into our house one night and she happened to come home and catch him in the act. He raped her and killed her.”
There was an awkward moment where neither man spoke while they processed Dicks’ words.
“So,” Colts finally started, “did they catch him?”
Dicks nodded. “Yep, and he got the chair, and guess what? I got to sit in the front row and watch him die.”
Colts felt a kindred spirit. Dicks might actually be okay to open up to. Might. Still, better not to say anything until you’re sure. Just wait until tomorrow. You can wait. Don’t say anything.
“You know, I thought that I’d feel some sort of relief, some… joy from watching the man who ruined my life pay for what he did. But I didn’t. It was just like the stories you hear on TV. I just felt empty. I’d been living on revenge for so long-it took 14 years for him to get executed-that when it was over, I had nothing left. No wife, no kids, nothing. I wasted a good chunk of my life on anger and revenge when I should have been out trying to live. And now here I am, fifty, with no family. And every time we execute someone, all I can see is the pain spreading out from that room like a wave. I see those families, the victim’s and the convict’s, leave here with huge holes in their hearts.”
Mulling over it for a moment, Colts asked, “But didn’t you feel good about the fact that the man who did it finally paid for it? You didn’t feel like justice was served?”
“No,” Dicks replied. “I didn’t. I just felt like what a colossal waste of life and resources the whole thing was. There is no winner in this place.”
When Dicks said the words, it was as if God Himself added a holy reverberation to them. It was like an over-produced song in which the singer sang a chorus twice and then laid both tracks over each other to make his voice richer and fuller. But Colts didn’t want to believe it. He would have his payday. He would witness retribution. He would insure the debt was paid.
The time came for them to escort the prisoner to his execution. At first, it all went according to plan. A preacher was offered to the convict and they prayed together for a few minutes, while the convict repeatedly asked if the Governor had called. “I didn’t do it, Padre,” he kept repeating to the priest. Each time he said it he sounded more desperate. Even Colts, who believed that no honest man ever made it to Death Row, at least not in this state, wavered. The man sounded so sincere that it was hard to believe that could be completely evil. He cried and pleaded with the priest.
Finally, when it was time to take him from the cell, the convict dropped to his knees for one last prayer. As they finished up, he stood up and stared Colts in the face. “I forgive you,” he said. “It’s not your fault. God
will forgive you for executing an innocent man. Please tell my wife that I love her and the kids. Tell them that God has a reason for taking me to Heaven at this moment. Perhaps I am to be their guardian angel and protect them in a way I never could before.”
Colts nearly told the man that he would. His heart softened to the point that he very nearly believed the man. But then the images of his mother’s cousin flooded back into his brain and his heart hardened again. This was the man who murdered her so savagely that they had to use a closed casket at the funeral. He had to pay for what he’d done and lo and behold, Colts was going to be the Angel of Vengeance tonight. He would collect what was due from this sinner.
The convict saw Colts’ eyes change. He knew there was no mercy there. He nodded and looked down. The fight went out of him and he allowed himself to be led out of the cell like a lamb to the slaughter.
Into the ‘Most Humane Death Chamber in the USA’ they led the man. Each of the officers did what they were required to do. Dicks secured the convict’s left leg and arm to the chair. Colts did the right side, instructing himself to keep his emotions under cover. Just a few minutes and she’ll be avenged.
The Warden asked if the man had any last words. “I love my family. Tell my children that I was innocent and I will watch over them from Heaven. That is all.”
Then his eyes swept around the room and he added, “I forgive