Eight weeks after the land tremor that shook the world, Jaytsy sat on her bed late at night with her knees pulled up to her chest. She rocked slowly, not daring to sleep. There was a chance tonight would be quiet, but she’d had her sleep disturbed too many times to believe that.
She knew it was self-centered to think so, but she suspected that the shaking she had wished for everyone else—just to “wake them up a little”—had been focused on her. While the world was returning slowly to normal, nothing in Jaytsy’s world was the same.
Her grandparents were gone. And now, so was her father.
Perrin Shin’s body came home from his enraged ride to Idumea, but not his mind. Where it was, no one really knew. As soon as he put General Relf Shin’s sword into his sheath, everything changed.
It was the day after the crate had come from Idumea, the 55th Day of Planting, that he replaced his sword with his father’s. That night he tried to use it.
Jaytsy had been sleeping when she heard the shouting. Panicked, she opened her door at the same time Peto opened his. They stared at each other across the dark gathering room until Perrin ran down the stairs with Relf’s sword drawn.
“Upstairs! Now! My bedroom! The only place you’ll be safe!”
Mahrree had padded after him. “Perrin, there’s no danger—”
“Yes there is! It’s everywhere!”
Jaytsy and Peto searched the darkness until Perrin’s shout of “NOW!” made them jump.
“Just go,” their mother whispered, “I’ll deal with him.”
They ran up the stairs and sat on the edge of their parents’ bed, listening to their mother trying to reason with their father.
“What’s wrong with him?” Peto whispered.
“I don’t know,” Jaytsy whispered back, hugging her knees. “Maybe he saw something?”
Peto crawled along the bed to look outside the new window, wide and clear. “It’s really quiet out there, the alley’s empty, and the tower isn’t lit. I don’t think there’s anything.”
He crawled back to sit next to his sister, but not too close. “I don’t hear him anymore.”
“Me neither.”
“What does that mean?” Peto whispered.
Jaytsy shrugged. “It’s really . . .” She couldn’t think of a word. She’d never seen her father like that before.
“Creepy,” Peto supplied, and wrapped his arms around himself.
A moment later their mother came into the dark bedroom. “Just a nightmare!” she said in an overly merry tone. “He’s asleep on the sofa, and was probably never fully awake. You can go to bed now.”
Jaytsy didn’t dare move.
Neither did Peto. “Does he still have the sword?”
A heavy clank came from their mother. “No, I took it after he fell on the sofa. We don’t need him mistaking any of us for someone we’re not, do we?” She laughed softly, but shakily.
In the morning when Jaytsy passed her waking father on the sofa, he looked baffled. “Why am I here? Did I have a fight with your mother that I slept through?”
“Uh,” Jaytsy was unsure of how to explain. He seemed completely normal, just a little tired. “Sort of?”
Jaytsy rushed to the washing room and shut the door behind her. She heard her mother come down the stairs and waited until their conversation ended with Perrin shouting, “I’d never do that!”
When she snuck out, her father was sitting at the table, holding his head. He smiled feebly, and so did she.
Peto just nodded at his father as he sat down to breakfast.
By dinner everyone was easier again, smiling and laughing as if nothing had happened, and they slept well that night. Jaytsy thought nothing more about her father’s unusual nighttime activity, especially since the night after was also calm and quiet.
But in the fourth night Jaytsy woke up, feeling a presence next to her bed. The light from the two moons coming through the window bounced off the sword held over her.
“They’re after you.”
Jaytsy froze, terrified, as her father loomed over her. A movement by the door caused her to yelp, and Perrin spun to see what startled her. He aimed the sword at the figure.
Peto trembled there, horrified.
A voice shouted from the gathering room, “Colonel Shin, put away your sword! That’s an order!” Mahrree pushed Peto out of the way and stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
Perrin lowered the sword and looked around blankly. Jaytsy slipped out of her bed and rushed over to Peto’s side. She didn’t know which of them was shaking more.
“That was close!” she whispered to her brother.
Peto could make only a strangled noise in response.
Their father staggered to the sofa, sat, and stared at the floor.
Mahrree tiptoed over to him and cautiously laid a hand on his shoulder. “Perrin? Are you all right?”
He looked up. “What am I doing down here?”
Peto and Jaytsy exhaled as he stared at the sword in his hand.
“You’ve been walking in your sleep,” Mahrree told him. “I think you had another nightmare.”
“Did I scare you?” he asked his children, almost timidly.
“Yes?” they squeaked.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, got up, and trudged back upstairs.
Mahrree kissed each of them quickly. “Everything’s fine!” she said too happily. “Back to bed, now!” She followed their father up the stairs. “Perrin, give me the sword.”
Jaytsy had never before realized how brave her mother was.
The next morning she and Peto got their own breakfast and ate before their parents got up. Neither of them said it, but they both seemed to think it was just safer that way.
Two days later Jaytsy found her father asleep on the floor by the back kitchen door, curled into a ball, with General Shin’s sword by his side. She rushed upstairs to get her mother, then waited on their bed until the shouting downstairs stopped.
Everything was not fine, but no one was talking about it. Peto looked at her that morning with a mixture of understanding and dread. She returned it. At least, for once, they had something in common.
The next night he did it again—ran around the house shouting until he collapsed onto Peto’s bed. And again at breakfast, no one spoke. Mealtime had never been so silent before at the Shins.
Two nights later, Jaytsy sat terrified on her bed, too frightened to fall asleep. When her father wasn’t rampaging around the house, she had nightmares that he was.
Quiet footsteps coming through the eating room made her tense in worry. Cautiously she crept to her door and peeked through the crack. Candle light illuminated enough gathering room for her to see her mother embracing Uncle Shem.
“Thank you for coming, Shem!” said Mahrree. “I’ve never seen him like this before. I don’t think he’s even fully awake.”
“Does he wake up when you stop him?” Shem asked as he stepped out of her hug.
“Sometimes. I think he can’t get over how his parents died. He’s all right with their passing. We’ve all felt great comfort about it. In fact, all of Edge is benefiting; Karna sold Joriana’s jewelry for so much in Rivers that everyone here will be well compensated—”
Jaytsy stopped hearing after that. She’d suspected that her parents had something to do with helping get payments to the villagers, but she’d thought that her parents “disposing” of Grandmother’s jewelry was because they didn’t need such finery in the house.
Just days ago Lieutenant Offra had come to the house, a stack of pages and sharpened charcoal in hand, and a nervous but eager smile on his face. Behind him, two assisting soldiers sniggered.
“Good afternoon, Miss!” Offra said brightly, if not a bit unsteadily. It’s never easy being the newest soldier; it’s even worse to be the newest young officer. “Is your mother or father at home?”
Jaytsy sent a withering glare to the soldiers behind him who let him walk up to the door without t
elling him whose it was.
“They’re out right now.”
“Could you tell them that Lieutenant Offra from the fort was by—” he squinted a little and cocked his head, as if something was vaguely familiar about the situation “—and that I’ll come by again later? We’ve been given a generous donation to help in the rebuilding of Edge, and each household can claim a part—”
“We won’t be needing any of that donation, Offra,” Jaytsy said.
He blinked. “But . . . it’s to help cover costs, losses—”
“We’re fine, Lieutenant,” she said firmly. “My mother and my father—Colonel Shin—both agree.”
Offra’s jaw dropped, then wobbled about. “I thought I knew this house . . . Sorry. New village, everything looks the same.”
Jaytsy glared at the soldiers snickering behind him. She used to play along with the jokes on the new men. But in the past few weeks, she and Edge and even the whole world had changed.
Except for these inane soldiers who still thought it good fun to set up their greenest officer.
Jaytsy had no more patience for silliness. How could the soldiers still be so childish? Hadn’t they discovered corpses? Seen women wail in distress? Children sob in fear? Mature men weep quietly behind their houses? Hadn’t they lost their High General and his wife to the very Guarders they were to be defending the world against? And now even their own commander was—
Something in Jaytsy’s throat swelled that day, squeezing away all lightness and joy. These ludicrous boys—the world was already a hard place; why make it harder?
“Thank you anyway, Lieutenant Offra,” she had said. “You represent yourself, the fort, and the army honorably. My grandfather would be proud of you.”
The soldiers behind Offra shuffled their boots and glared at each other to transfer blame.
Offra nodded to Jaytsy. “Thank you, Miss Shin. Sorry to have bothered you.” And, to his great credit, he didn’t even glance at the penitent soldiers behind him as he headed to the next house.
As Jaytsy stood at her bedroom door, listening in to her mother and Uncle Shem, she smiled dimly. The Shins were rebuilding Edge. All of the Shins. She knew her parents stored gold and silver in the cellar, and she suspected that behind the secret concealing panel was now nothing but an empty dirt dugout.
For a moment, her heart was lighter again—until she heard her mother sniffing and noticed Shem putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Shem, something’s going on with Perrin. It’s as if he blames himself for how Relf and Joriana passed.”
“I know,” Shem said. “Even Gadiman blamed him, in front of all the Administrators. That’s when he lost his temper. Well, what was left of it. It’s as if there’s a part of him none of us can reach. He’s exhausted and snapping at everyone in the fort. This afternoon he fell asleep at his desk. When I heard him snoring, I told Thorne and Offra to let him sleep. He woke up screaming a few minutes later, and I thought for sure our brave Captain Thorne was going to fall down the stairs in fright,” he chuckled sadly.
“What are we going to do with him?” Mahrree sighed.
“I don’t know. But I think I had better stay hidden if he starts up again. He may not recognize me.”
That night was quiet. It took another hour for Jaytsy to fall asleep, but knowing Uncle Shem was on the sofa made her feel safer. It reminded her of the time he stayed by her bedside when she was little and her father was gone for weeks training other fort commanders. A terrible thunderstorm was raging outside one night, but Uncle Shem was strong enough to keep the thunder from “getting” to her.
She never thought that someday the thunder would be her own father.
The next night, the thunder awoke. Shortly after Jaytsy heard Shem sneak into the house again, Colonel Shin went on a rampage.
“They’re everywhere!” he yelled upstairs in the bedroom. “They’re coming to get us!”
Jaytsy flung open her door to see Shem standing at the foot of the stairs, waiting for his friend to come running down.
But instead they heard him scream, “MAHRREE!”
Jaytsy froze. She had never heard him scream before. Now Peto’s door flew open.
“No, no, NO! I’m too late! Dear Creator, she’s dead! Mahrree!”
Jaytsy and Peto rushed up the steps behind Shem, who was already taking them three at a time. When he threw open the bedroom door, they saw Perrin standing and staring at the floor, sobbing at nothing.
Their mother was kneeling on the bed trying to turn him to face her. “I’m here! Perrin! I’m right here. Look at me!”
“I’m going to kill them!” he wailed and pulled at his hair. “I have to kill them all!”
Jaytsy grabbed Peto, needing someone to hold on to. She’d never seen her father so agitated before, and certainly had never seen him cry. She didn’t know he was even capable of it.
Peto quivered under her grip and awkwardly put a scrawny but protective arm around her.
Shem stepped up to Perrin, spun his friend to face him, and took him by both shoulders. “Perrin! Wake up! It’s not real!”
Perrin paused, focused on who was holding him, and bellowed, “YOU!”
Jaytsy and Peto cowered in the corner as their father started to go for Shem’s throat.
Fortunately Shem was faster. He hit Perrin squarely in the jaw, knocking him to the floor. When he didn’t immediately get up, Mahrree scrambled off the bed to sit next to him. He slowly sat up as Shem lit a candle and shook out his throbbing hand.
Perrin rubbed his jaw. “What was that all about?” He stopped when he saw his master sergeant towering over him. “Shem, what are you doing in my bedroom? Jaytsy? Peto?”
They just quivered in the corner.
“Tell me what you remember,” Shem demanded, standing over him with the candle. “Right now. What were you doing?”
Perrin still seemed stunned as he leaned against the bed. “Uh, I was in a house. A big house. Lots of noise. Then it became very quiet and I saw someone running through it.” His breathing grew heavier. “Dressed in black. Darkened face.” Tears trickled down his cheeks as he shook his head, trying to lose the image. “Then there was a body . . .” His eyes closed. “No . . . no . . . no! Mahrree!”
“I’m right here!” Mahrree yelled. “Perrin, open your eyes and look at me!” She straddled his legs and held his face.
Jaytsy gripped Peto tighter, but he didn’t seem to mind.
Their father opened his eyes, saw their mother hazily, and sobbed. “How’d you survive? Are you all right? Oh, my darling wife!” He wrapped his arms around her. “Not again, not again . . .”
Jaytsy silently began to weep. By the way Peto was sniffing, she could tell he was too.
That wasn’t the way their father was supposed to act. Perrin Shin, Colonel of the fort of Edge, son of the High General of Idumea, sitting on the floor sobbing into his wife’s shoulder. That man was a complete stranger.
Jaytsy had never felt so lonely or so vulnerable.
Shem set down the candle and put his hands on her and Peto’s shoulders. “Go back downstairs,” he whispered. “We’ll take care of him. I think your father is dealing with more than any of us realized. The berry has finally broken the bear,” he murmured.
Jaytsy wrinkled her nose at that odd remark, but Peto whispered, “Uncle Shem, is he going to be all right?”
Both of them watched their mother as she stroked their father’s weeping head. “Perrin, it’s all right! We’re all here. You’ve kept us safe. Perrin, it’s all right.” With tears slipping down her own face, she nodded over at her children, but she didn’t seem too sure.
“I hope so,” Shem said, sounding deeply worried as well.
The two of them walked down the stairs, close together, and Peto followed Jaytsy into her room.
“Want to sleep on my floor?” she offered, not wanting to be alone, even if it did mean her company was her brother.
He nodded, retrieve
d his pillow and blanket, and lay down next to her bed.
“They’ve ruined him,” Peto whispered to the dark.
Jaytsy closed her eyes, afraid he might be right. Peto didn’t specify who “they” were, but Jaytsy felt as if the whole world was out to get them. Her parents—her father especially—had done so much for the world, and this was how it was repaying them?
And what had they ruined him for? Peto likely meant for being a general, but Jaytsy was fine with that. She’d be happy to never see Idumea again, the city that let her grandparents be murdered by a dressmaker.
When they awoke the next morning it was to find their parents and Shem sitting around the table, talking quietly. Judging by their stooped postures and bleary eyes, it didn’t seem as if any of them had slept. But of the three, their father looked the worst. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had a bruise on his jaw where Shem had hit him. He tried to give them a smile, but half of his face wouldn’t move. Instead, he beckoned them to come to the table.
They hesitated before sitting down.
“I’m sorry about last night, or rather, about the past few nights, so I’m told. I’m a little . . . bothered right now. But I’m working on it. I just need you to be patient with me, all right?”
Jaytsy and Peto both nodded to him, but he still seemed so unfamiliar.
Their mother gave them a look that said she expected something more. Peto caught on and went to his father, giving him a hug from behind.
Jaytsy quickly joined him and kissed her father on the cheek. “You’ll be all right, I know it.”
But he wasn’t. Even Jaytsy knew it would take a lot longer than talking throughout the night to bring him all the way back from Idumea.
Shem stayed almost every night for the next several weeks, physically restraining Perrin when he became aggressive in his sleep. One night the two of them got into such a violent fight—Perrin sure that Shem was a Guarder—that it took the family an hour to put everything back in place the next day. It was early that morning when Jaytsy heard her exhausted mother talking to Shem after her father stormed off for the fort.
“We can’t go on like this, Shem. None of us. He refuses to give up the sword, insisting that isn’t the problem. The less sleep he gets, the more irrational he becomes. He’s so angry, but I’m not sure at whom. I’ve thought about writing Doctor Brisack for help. Surely he or the garrison surgeons must’ve seen something like this?”
Shem, holding his side where Perrin had hit him with a chair, nodded sadly. “Mahrree, just don’t tell Brisack everything. Only that he’s having a hard time sleeping. If you tell them about his nightmares and paranoia, the garrison may insist on doing something drastic. The last thing he needs is to be sedated.”
Jaytsy’s eyebrows went up.
Her father had told them about the sedation that was forced upon him after he confronted the Administrators over his parents’ deaths. The garrison surgeon and Doctor Brisack had felt it was the only way to calm him down, especially after he tried to kill Gadiman. And when he had described to them the effects of sedation, his clenched fists made it was obvious he hadn’t been too happy about it.
“Are you sure?” Mahrree’s question stunned Jaytsy. “Shem, it might be just what he needs. Even when he isn’t looking for a fight, he thrashes all night long. At this point, I could use some sedation.”
Shem sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know how much longer you or he can keep this up. Just send a message. Use the Administrators’ service, but say only that he needs help sleeping.”
Three nights later, on the 2nd Day of Weeding, Mahrree stayed up late waiting for Shem to come to the back door.
Jaytsy had been waiting too, to confront them.
“What are you going to do to him?” Jaytsy asked pointedly when she saw the brown bottle Shem held.
“I’m not doing anything,” Shem said bitterly. “Your mother is.”
Jaytsy had never seen her Uncle Shem’s eyes so hard. Usually he looked warmly at Mahrree, but not tonight as he thrust the bottle and a small paper of instructions at her.
“It will just help him sleep,” defended Mahrree, taking the bottle and reading the note from Idumea. “He won’t even know he’s breathed it in. Brisack thinks it will take only a few doses for a few weeks until he’s better. His body just doesn’t remember how to function. This will get him back in a regular schedule again. And I’m sure once he sleeps better, he’ll think better.” She didn’t look at either of them before marching up the stairs.
Shem sat down with an angry huff on the sofa in the dark.
Jaytsy joined him. “What’s really wrong with him?” she asked. “I’m old enough to know why my mother wants to sedate him.”
“So am I,” said Peto from his door. He walked over to the sofa and sat down on the other side of Shem.
Shem sighed deeply. “He’s traumatized. I had to look it up in one of the old texts from the time of the kings. The surgeon doesn’t know why I wanted to see his library. It seems this was a big problem during the Great War. Soldiers would suddenly collapse during a bloody and prolonged fight. A few even went inexplicably blind after seeing so much death. Many of them had been fighting for years and simply couldn’t take any more. Some of the great leaders made it through the war, then went somewhere peaceful and took their own lives. Or, in the case of one general, just vanished.”
“A general just vanished?” Peto asked.
“Yes,” Shem said softly. “Left one afternoon, and was never seen again. His wife and son never found out what happened to him. Perhaps he was like so many others; they just saw too much death to make life worth living anymore.”
Jaytsy was grateful it was dark so that no one could see the tears streaking down her face. But the darkness couldn’t mask her sobs.
Shem groaned quietly when he heard her. “Shh, Jaytsy—don’t fret yet. I don’t think your father is at that point. I’m sure we can still bring him back.” He put an arm around each of the teens and pulled them close to him.
“Why isn’t he dreaming of the caravan fight?” Peto asked, his voice quivering. “He took down sixteen men. I know lots of them died. Why isn’t he reliving that?”
“I guess because he was successful there,” Shem suggested. “But he wasn’t in saving his parents. All of his dreams are about people coming into his home and killing his family.”
“So what do we do?” Jaytsy whimpered.
“I’ve been reading about that, too. Sit with him. Talk with him. Help him distinguish what’s real and what isn’t. The book says we need to be patient. Don’t give him anything else to worry about, and realize that maybe, maybe he just might not come back all the way,” Shem’s voice cracked. “You need to ask yourselves, can you live with that? Can you accept your father the way he is?”
“Of course they can!” Mahrree snapped as she came down the stairs. “Because he’ll be fine! Already he’s sleeping as deeply as Peto, and I didn’t hold it in front of his nose as long as Brisack recommended. So don’t go sentencing him yet, Shem!”
“Mahrree,” Shem said, standing up, “I didn’t mean it that way. They just need to know. From what I read, things like this can take a long time to come back from. And some—Mahrree, you have to know—some never come back.”
“But can’t we pray?” Peto asked quietly. “Can’t the Creator heal him? Help him still reach . . . his destiny?”
“Destiny?” Jaytsy wondered.
Peto sighed. “You know what I mean. Whatever he’s supposed to still be. We can always pray, can’t we?”
Mahrree wrapped her arms around him. “I have been, every night, every morning. And Shem, I know you’re right. I just can’t give up on him already.”
“And you may be right, Mahrree, about the sedation. Maybe sleeping will help.” Shem hesitated. “I want to see him.”
Mahrree tilted her head. “Something wrong?”
Shem’s shoulder twitched. “I merely . . . want to make sure
he’s all right before I go. The assistants at the garrison frequently checked his pulse.”
Suddenly worried, Mahrree gestured to the stairs.
Jaytsy and Peto took that as a group invitation. They followed Shem and their mother up to the bedroom where a candle was burning. Their father was flopped on the bed, very still.
Shem picked up his wrist and felt his pulse.
“I gave him only half of what they recommended,” Mahrree began, mild panic growing in her voice. “He should be—”
“He’s fine,” Shem said flatly. He dropped his wrist and lifted open one of Perrin’s eyelids to peer into his unresponsive eye. “The Last Day could come and go, and he’d never know it. Pulse is slow but steady. Well done, Mrs. Shin,” his tone turned cold. “Your husband’s fully sedated.”
Mahrree folded her arms. “That’s the idea!”
Shem held his hands up in surrender. “I know. I’m sorry. I just hate seeing him like this. Again.”
Jaytsy didn’t think he looked so bad—like a sleeping baby, albeit a large and gruff sleeping baby.
Peto craned his neck. “He looks rather peaceful to me.”
“And me too,” said Mahrree, unfolding her arms. She turned to her children. “You can go to bed now.” She hugged each of them and whispered, “Enjoy the silence.”
They smiled at her, but Shem kept watching their father.
As Jaytsy and Peto started out the door, Shem said, “Nothing more for me to do here. I’ll be heading back to the fort—”
Jaytsy was at the top of the stairs when she heard her mother earnestly whisper, “Do you have to go?”
Jaytsy paused, thinking the same thing. While her father looked peaceful, he also looked defenseless.
Which meant all of them were.
She turned to watch Shem and her mother through the open bedroom door.
Shem exhaled, expelling a great deal of frustration and concern, but her mother put her arms around him.
He didn’t hug her back.
“I’m sorry Shem, about all of this. About doing what you think is a betrayal to him.”
“That’s not what I—”
“Yes, it is what you think,” said Mahrree firmly, pulling away to look at his face, but still keeping her arms around him. “We’re betraying him.”
Shem didn’t budge.
“It’s obvious you’re angry with me, and I don’t blame you. But Shem—is there any other option? Any other way to heal him?”
Shem’s jaw muscles clenched a few times before his shoulders sagged. “No other option I’ve found yet,” he conceded quietly. “But you don’t need me here, not tonight.”
“Please stay, though?”
Jaytsy was quietly pleading the same thing.
For some reason Shem looked extremely uncomfortable. He stepped back out of Mahrree’s embrace and nodded once. “Just to make sure he’s all right during the night. Your sofa and I are well acquainted. Good night, Mahrree.” He nearly ran over Jaytsy in his haste to get down the stairs.
That was only part of the reason why Jaytsy sat up late at night, hugging her knees and dreading to go to sleep. She was exceptionally preoccupied, more so than the average fifteen-year-old. Maybe her father needed only one or two nights to get back to normal again. Maybe all of his anger and odd behaviors would blow over quickly, then she could tell them her other concern.
She had planned to do so in the morning, until she heard Uncle Shem say, “Don’t give him anything else to worry about.”
She couldn’t even confide in her mother, she realized, until things got better with her father. Nor was her grandmother a possibility. Hycymum Peto wasn’t exactly the most discreet woman in the village.
Jaytsy would have to take care of this herself.
Not even Uncle Shem, who was now flopped wearily on the sofa, should be troubled by her news that Captain Lemuel Thorne, seven years older, was trying to court her.
The odd ritual began some weeks ago. School had resumed on the 56th Day of Planting, the day after Perrin’s first bad night. By the end of that worrying week, Jaytsy struggled to stay awake in class. That is, until Captain Thorne appeared in the room.
“Please, do forgive the interruption,” he said genially to the teacher as he took off his cap. He ran his hand unnecessarily through this short-cropped blonde hair to smooth it. Every girl in the room stopped whatever unimportant thing she was doing and stared.
But Jaytsy closed her eyes briefly and held her breath.
“I’m Captain Thorne, new to Edge and second in command. You see, ma’am, girls—” he nodded to the class and flashed a grin.
There was audible sighing. But not from Jaytsy.
“—there’s concern about the stability of the building. I’m here to do one last check to make sure the reinforcements are holding.”
It took their teacher long enough to blink herself back into comprehension of what the captain was saying to be embarrassing. “Oh. Oh! But I thought the major cleared it a couple of weeks ago?”
“Oh, he did,” Thorne assured her, but turned his gaze intently to Jaytsy.
Somehow it made her skin crawl, and not in a good way.
“But now that there’s weight on every level, we just wanted to make one last inspection.”
Jaytsy was sure no one at the fort had ordered that. The next thing Captain Thorne said to the teacher solidified her suspicions.
“If you or any of the other teachers see anything worrisome, notify Miss Jaytsy. She knows where she can find me.” He shifted his gaze back to Jaytsy. “I’m always available.” He bowed briefly to her as he had done at The Dinner, then bowed at the teacher before he left.
Jaytsy barely had time to exhale before one of her classmates giggled. “Ooh, I’d love to know where to find the captain, and always available!”
The entire class laughed as Jaytsy blushed. She noticed that even her teacher’s gaze lingered at the door where the captain had stood.
For the rest of the morning she thought about him, since everyone else was. But something about the way he looked at her had left Jaytsy uneasy. Perhaps it was because she was preoccupied by other concerns, but something about Captain Thorne sent a shiver up her spine. While she’d spent a couple of hours with Thorne at the dance after The Dinner, she didn’t know much more about him except that he loved horses.
He certainly had seemed intelligent when they spoke, but it wasn’t his intelligence that the girls in her class nattered about at midday meal. They gossiped about his sandy-colored hair, his blue eyes, his muscular build, and anything else they could imagine from the brief minute he was in their classroom. Jaytsy had to admit he was handsome, but—and it was silly, she knew—Captain Thorne just didn’t look like the man she pictured she’d spend her life with. She could see herself with a soldier, but marrying Thorne would most likely mean a life away from Edge.
As Jaytsy listened to the girls in the class at midday meal speculating on the supposed merits of Captain Thorne, she became more unsettled and shuddered to find herself thinking so far in the future about men and marriage—until she remembered it wasn’t that far. Two of her older friends had already become engaged and would be married at age seventeen.
By the end of the midday meal break the conversation had mercifully shifted away from the captain, and Jaytsy was sure that was the last she would hear about him.
Until it was time to go home, because he was waiting for her.
A girl sitting next to a window let out a small squeal. “Guess who’s outside!”
Before the teacher could remind them that they still had five minutes, the mass of females rushed the window to ogle the young officer leaning against the split-rail fence that encircled the school grounds. Everyone, that is, except for Jaytsy. Even the teacher had to check out the view just in case it might be “trouble.”
“I think the only one who might have any trouble would be ‘Miss Jaytsy,’” one of her friends snickered. “And if you
don’t want the ‘trouble,’ would you hand him along to me?”
Jaytsy sat stewing in mortification. “Maybe something’s come up and he needs to relay some information,” she said lamely.
“Ah,” said another girl, “a captain that’s a messenger. I thought that was reserved for hunky enlisted men like Zenos.”
When their teacher dismissed them, too distracted to work anymore, the girls hurried out of the building so that they could slowly file past Captain Thorne.
Jaytsy watched from the window as she leisurely put away her slate and books. The girls paced their passing in front of him so that he had to tip his hat to each one. He seemed entertained by the parade of young women. Jaytsy glanced at her teacher and saw the older woman send a satisfied sigh to the window.
When Jaytsy finally made her way outside, the captain promptly left his post and headed straight for her.
Dreading his answer, she asked, “Is something wrong, Captain?”
“There’s always something wrong—that’s why I’m here: to make sure no trouble comes to you.” He held out his arm for her.
Before she could formulate a reason why she shouldn’t, she politely slipped her hand into the crook of his arm. “Some would say trouble has already come to me.”
Captain Thorne frowned as he tried to puzzle out her response.
“And we are going . . .?”
“To your home,” the captain informed her. “Considering these troubled times, I thought it best to see you there safely.”
Jaytsy was aware of her schoolmates watching them, and she worried that the captain could hear their tittering.
“I’m sure there’s nothing to fret about now. The towers are quiet, and so are the roads,” she said.“I can make it home myself. I usually go to meet my mother and brother at their school anyway,” and she released his arm.
He took her hand back. “Miss Jaytsy,” he said with a gentleness that sounded more rehearsed than sincere, “I’m concerned about your father. He still seems greatly affected by what happened in Idumea.”
Jaytsy cringed. So the fort knew something was wrong, too.
“I happened to be near the hospital when my father and grandfather brought him to see his parents. Miss Jaytsy, I don’t think he’s quite over that experience. His eyes were nearly dead that day, and in many ways they still are. It’ll take him some time to recover, so I’m here to watch out for your family.” His tone was so smooth and slick that it made Jaytsy think of snakes. “In case he’s unable to help you, know that I will. So, if you want to go to your mother’s school, then I’ll walk you there instead.”
Jaytsy tried not to groan too loudly as she squirmed in annoyance. She didn’t want to discuss her father. She didn’t want this kind of attention. And she most certainly didn’t want to be courted.
Well, maybe she did. Just not by Lemuel Thorne.
She had to do something with the captain who seemed intent on possessing her hand, requiring the rest of her to follow. “On second thought, I guess we can go to my home.”
Thorne patted her hand. “We can talk there until your mother arrives.”
It hadn’t occurred to her that no one would be at her house, and being there with him alone wasn’t appropriate. But she couldn’t suggest now going to the boys’ school again. Not that she cared at all about his opinion of her, she didn’t want to seem that flighty. “Talk about what?”
“Goals, ambitions, the future.”
Jaytsy scoffed a laugh. “Oh, is that all! I thought maybe hobbies, what you like to read, what’s the dullest thing in Edge compared to Idumea. Something less commonplace than ‘ambitions.’”
She glanced sideways and saw confusion on Thorne’s face as he pondered her sarcasm. “Funny,” he decided.
Jaytsy sighed. If one had to analyze if something is ‘funny,’ then one usually had a weak grasp of what ‘funny’ is.
They walked in silence to her house, fortunately not far away. All the way there Jaytsy tried to think of ways to abandon Thorne on the front porch to avoid ‘talking.’ When they reached the steps, Jaytsy released his arm, shook his hand formally, and said, “Thank you for the escort, Captain. I have a great deal of school work to do. Perhaps we can talk another time.”
The captain, a bit surprised, nodded. “Only if you’ll call me Lemuel when we’re alone.”
“Oh, I can’t do that,” Jaytsy said with feigned brightness. “I’m not sixteen yet. Can’t break the expectations of society, now, can we?” She turned abruptly, ran up the stairs into the house, shut the door, and bolted it while the captain still stood at the steps with his mouth open trying to form a response.
He was determined, she had to give him that. He was there every afternoon the next week to walk her home again. They rarely talked about anything but army life or horses. Actually, he did all the talking, about his paternal grandfather’s stables and how he’d produced a breed of horse that was not only strong but fast. Jaytsy heard every dull, agonizing detail.
She soon realized that if she let Thorne ramble, she could think of other things as they walked, while giving him an occasional, “Uh-huh,” or “Is that so?” to keep him going. He never noticed that she wasn’t listening. And when they reached her front doorstep, she ran up the stairs before he could say or do anything else.
She’d never been so happy to see the Late Planting Season Break come a couple of weeks later. Life was tenser at home with her father’s bad nights—even with Shem helping to mollify him—and Jaytsy had already decided she’d spend as much time away as she could during the break by volunteering to help plant the neighboring farms. Every last piece of vacant land was to be turned into a garden to replace the reserves Edge took from Idumea—except for the Shins’ gardens which no one thought would produce anything but rock—and every available body was needed to work.
Jaytsy could be gone before breakfast, when her father would do nothing but stare at his plate and drum his fingers, and not return until after dinner, when he’d speak only in stilted sentences.
Before the break, Captain Thorne patted her hand. “Just because school is out for a week doesn’t mean I can’t continue seeing you. Let’s think of a time—”
She interrupted him with a sigh of sadness that she thought sounded quite authentic. “I’ve volunteered to help with the late planting this year. I’ll be in different fields every day, so I don’t know how you could ever find me.”
Captain Thorne smiled. “Sounds like a challenge, Miss Jaytsy. Besides, the fort will be receiving some new horses from the Stables at Pools, and even though they’re not of my grandfather’s herds, I look forward to telling you about each one of them . . .”
He had tried to find her. Jaytsy had seen him searching the fields each day as he rode by. She’d repurposed one of her grandmother’s floppy hats she inherited to not only shade her but disguise her as well. Her mother thought it odd that Jaytsy wanted to work in the fields, but believed her excuse that she felt it was the family’s duty that someone finally learn something about farming.
By the time school began again on the 2nd Day of Weeding, Jaytsy had hoped that Captain Thorne had found someone else more interesting. Many girls had flirted with him as he stopped by the fields inquiring after her. They pretended to not know where or who she was, so that they could keep the captain all to themselves.
But on that first day back to school, there was Captain Thorne waiting as usual against the fence.
Jaytsy made sure she was the last one out of the building, hoping that the captain was there to escort someone else. No such luck.
As walked out of the school, Thorne put on a thick, sweet smile that would have excited bees. “You look well, Miss Jaytsy! None too damaged by laboring in the fields, I see.”
“Actually, I rather enjoyed it. But don’t tell my mother or she might disown me,” she said, obligingly taking his offered arm.
Thorne frowned at her comment, but said, “Well I certainly hop
e you’re done with all that. Your mother likely feels as I do, that on your hands and knees in the dirt isn’t your proper place. Now, I’m sure you’re eager to hear about my new horse. He’ll arrive soon, and I’ve already decided to call him Streak. You see, he’s—”
Jaytsy decided it was enough. It wasn’t fair to him and, she decided, this drudgery really wasn’t fair to her.
“Captain Thorne,” she interrupted him. “Lemuel,” she said more kindly, noticing out of the corner of her eye that he smiled when she said his name. “I appreciate your trying to take care of me, but I think you’d find your time better spent doing . . . something else.”
After a silent moment he said, “What do you mean?”
Jaytsy closed her eyes, wishing she’d planned this conversation further than to the first thing which popped into her mind. “It’s just that, um, everything’s fine and . . . I’m not ready for this. I’m not interested in ‘walking and talking’ for a few more years still.”
The captain’s pace slowed a little.
She glanced at his jaw and saw it tense. “But, Captain, many girls here are. You may not realize it, but you have quite a following at the school. Say the word and you’ll have a line of girls, older, prettier, and more ready than me waiting for a chance with you!”
She felt his arm flex under her hand. “You don’t understand, Miss Jaytsy,” he said in a low, cool voice. “You don’t breed the prized stallion with just any filly. Not even casually.”
She knew her mouth was hanging open ludicrously, but she couldn’t make it close. Her stomach lurched with disgust as she realized she was nothing more than . . . than breeding stock?
“No, Miss Jaytsy,” he said decisively, “I’ll just wait for you to be ready. In time you’ll see that this joining will be the most advantageous, to produce the best heir of our grandfathers. There’s no one else worthy of the blood of Thornes than the blood of Shins.”
Breeding stock for another general of the Army of Idumea!
Jaytsy wished for something sharp and cutting to come out of her mouth, but all she could do was will herself to get home so she could kick something.
He didn’t love her. He wasn’t even interested in her. Just her bloodlines.
Captain Thorne patted her arm a little too forcefully. “Yes. Fine. We have time,” he said vaguely.
Shocked and repulsed, Jaytsy couldn’t imagine how to respond and barely endured holding his arm.
When they reached her house, he grudgingly released her. She started in a quick dash for the stairs, but didn’t make it. Lemuel lunged, caught her arm, and pulled her back.
“Just so you know what you can look forward to.” He gripped both of her arms, pulled her close to his body, and kissed her firmly. Jaytsy’s mind went blank, and she desperately tried to recall any of the techniques her father taught her many weeks ago. All she could do was flail, but it was enough that he let her go.
He touched the satisfied smile on his mouth, then had the nerve to bow to her. “Until you’re ready for more, Miss Jaytsy.” And he tipped his cap and promptly left.
Jaytsy ran into the house and washed out her mouth with the hottest water she could get from the warm water pump.
Throughout dinner Jaytsy had watched her parents, wondering if she should tell them what had happened with the captain. But her father stared at his plate, stabbing aggressively at his pork chop, and her mother watched him, barely picking at her dumplings. Her brother wolfed down his dinner in record time then headed back outside with his old kickball. Jaytsy sighed and considered that maybe tomorrow would be a better day to talk.
Then Shem and the bottle of sedation from Idumea arrived late that evening, and Shem said they shouldn’t bother her father with anything else—
So well into the night Jaytsy sat on her bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, wondering how, or if ever, she should tell her family that Captain Thorne was waiting for his filly to be ready.
Chapter 2 ~ “I know everything that goes on here in Edge.”