Chapter 20 – Mind Games
As I finish my crying, the talking bird lands on the grass beside me. I wipe the tears away, feeling a little lighter. According to Mother, a good cry is supposed to make you feel better, and I’d never believed it until now. My situation may be as grave as it has ever been, but at this very second, I feel like not everything is so bad.
“Worms,” shouts the bird.
I smile and look at the bird. “What are you?”
“Parrot,” says the bird. “Parrot!”
“You’re a parrot,” I muse. I want to thank this bird for sweeping away my misery. “I think I read about parrots in a book once.”
“Sky!” says the parrot.
“You miss the sky? So do I.”
I miss Skye too, wherever she is. I hope she never finds out what’s happened to her family. At least she can live happily, knowing nothing, assuming they’re alive. What is she up to right at this moment? The others had just assumed she’d died while in her quest to start her own House but I know her better than that. She’s resourceful and has a single-mindedness that borders on the obsessive. I know she’s doing fine.
The gardener who’d given me a foul look earlier sprays the bush near me with ice-cold water. Some of it hits my face, but I don’t mind. It’s hardly the worst they’ve done to me.
“Don’t encourage it,” says the gardener sharply.
I look up at him. His hands are scabbed all over and it makes me cringe a little. The effect is grotesque.
“The parrot?” I query.
“I don’t know where it gets the words from,” the gardener complains. He appears quite disconsolate over it. “One of the Brothers or Sisters must be teaching it to speak. I told Sister Faun about it but she said it was of no consequence.”
“Does it matter if the parrot talks?” I ask. “It’s just a parrot; there’s no harm in it.”
“No harm in it?” The gardener’s face is red with anger. “Up until two months ago it was quiet and now it won’t shut up! How am I supposed to garden with this thing squawking all the time?”
I study the parrot in question. It’s just an innocent creature that wants to live its life. The parrot is under my protection now.
The gardener goes on, “I was planning on poisoning its food, but it doesn’t seem to eat what I lay out for it anymore.”
I stand up quickly. The parrot jumps, its wings spread out in panic. It leaps up onto my arm and perches itself there. The dig of its claws is painful, but I ignore it. It seems to feel safe with me.
“What kind of gardener are you?”
He smiles. “I’m special.”
“Please leave the parrot alone,” I ask him calmly, even though he deserves my contempt for even thinking about poisoning this poor bird. “He’s just expressing himself. You must have some feelings for him.”
“Well, I did raise him from a cloned egg,” says the gardener. “I suppose I don’t really want to kill him. It’s just that the garden is supposed to be a place for reflection and serenity. He makes too much noise.”
“Rotter!” the parrot squawks.
Am I detecting the slightest hint of human emotion here? I’m not sure. Surely, a gardener repurposed for gardening duties would be a lot colder towards another living creature? There is something more to this gardener than I can see, but what is it?
“I don’t know about anyone else but the sound of a bird singing is what I’d expect to hear in nature. Surely, this is what the garden is supposed to be about?”
“I suppose.”
“There you go then! This parrot belongs here.”
The gardener smiles grudgingly. “I suppose so.”
The parrot digs its claws into me again before taking off. One of his wings hits me in the face as he flies away to mingle with the stalagmites. I spit a red feather out of my mouth and am about to inquire of the gardener the parrot’s name, when I realize he’s gone. The Brother is already meters away, spraying water on some other flowers.
The gardener has certainly piqued my curiosity, though I can’t afford to waste what little time I have indulging in what he truly is. I need to concentrate on my own situation, beginning with how to stall my repurposing. I would never call it divine irony but the gods have actually inadvertently saved my life, and I know I wouldn’t be that lucky again. I need to do something myself. But what could I do? I don’t understand how any of this technology works, and it’s hardly likely they’d allow me to wander around the place unattended. I think the only reason my brother left me here is because there is no other exit bar the way we’d come in, and I don’t seem to be able to make the white panels work for me. There has to be some way. It seems only Brothers and Sisters can operate the doors in this place.
I look up at the ceiling of the cave garden. There are rows upon rows of bright white lights, probably there to imitate the effect of the sun on plant life. The real sun seems so far away. It pains me to think I might never set eyes on it ever again.
The lights dim for a second. I look around for someone to ask what’s going on. Brian and Lottie are still around here somewhere. The thought of running into them again is not something I want to do.
“Did you see that?” Sister Faun asks. “I hate it when we have a power cut. I’m used to the light.”
She is standing next to me, her arms crossed in a defiant gesture. Her face is lit up in a benign smile, like she is a caring mother watching over her child. The woman scares me. She has some kind of strange effect on me, something hypnotic. Maybe I’m just imagining things, being silly. She is just quick on her feet and persuasive, that’s all. Only the gods have powers. Sister Faun is human, just like I am.
Yet, the set-up here intrigues me. This is a woman whose former life I never knew. She may not give me any answers but it’s worth a try. Besides, the less I have to talk to Brother Willow and Brother Pine the better.
“Do you use electricity?” I wonder.
I know about electricity. It’s some kind of power that the old people used before the apocalypse. There is even a generator hidden in the bowls of the House that stores electricity but we don’t know how to use it. Every now and then, someone would try to build a device to tap into electricity but every attempt failed. My brother had developed an interest in electronics before he left for his Journey.
“Solar power, actually,” Sister Faun answers. At my blank look she says, “The energy we use to power our machines is taken from the sun itself. It’s a lot safer for the environment that way.”
“What do you care about the environment?”
“This planet is the only planet we have. We have a duty to take care of it any way we can.”
“Tell that to your precious gods,” I snap, aiming to wound her with my words. “They seem to want to break it.”
I feel her hand coming towards my face. I don’t want this woman and her long fingernails anywhere near me and so I run. I make it to the end of the path before two Brothers with wide frowns grab hold of my arms and grip me so tight I think my veins might burst.
“Where were you going to run to?” I hear her say sweetly. I will never look at her again. I’d been stupid to even talk to her in the first place! “Unless you can turn yourself into water and shift through the pores in the rock then there’s no way you can escape from this cave.”
The Brothers force me around to face her but I close my eyes as tight as I can. I try to think about something else, anything. If I can block her from my mind then I might be able to stop her.
The Glass Palace...the light shining through the ceiling...
Brian’s smile, and his thick arms...
The music box...that tune, that haunting tune...
“The pregnant girl we found with you offered up her baby for repurposing if we spared her life,” says Sister Faun. Her mouth is by my ear; her lips are cold and her breath tickles me. “She cried like a babe herself when we told her there was no need and that we would bring her baby up as o
ne of us anyway. What kind of person would give up their own child to save their own skin?”
“Lottie wouldn’t do that,” I protest. I don’t bother to struggle in the Brother’s grip, not anymore. There’s no point.
“She even offered up her husband if we’d spare her,” says Sister Faun.
“No!” I scream. “She wouldn’t do that!”
I have my eyes open before I realize, and she’s there, waiting for me to fall into her trap. She smiles.
“Good boy,” she says.
Her eyes are boring into me again, but for some insane reason I can’t move away. All thought seems to strip from my head other than the one that dominates all else; obey Sister Faun. She is a beautiful woman, an intelligent woman, almost a god herself in terms of perfection. She deserves my devotion. There is nothing I won’t do for her.
“What do you know of the God Cannon?” she asks.
The Brothers still hold me but their grip is a bit slacker than before. I know I could struggle and cause them to lose their grip but I don’t want to. Sister Faun’s pull is too great.
“The God Cannon?” I mumble.
“You know of it,” she says. Her voice is like warm honey. “Brother Willow told me so.”
Somewhere inside of me I know that telling her anything about this subject is wrong. She must never know the truth. Yet she seems to know of it anyway, and Brother Willow must know all about it having been a parasite inside Father’s head for so long. All I have to do is tell her something she knows already. There’s no harm in that, and if it pleases Sister Faun then so much the better. This is a win-win situation!
Don’t do it, a voice whispers inside my mind. Don’t tell her anything. You’ll regret it if you do.
“Are you quite alright?” Sister Faun asks kindly. She puts the back of her hand to my forehead like a wise old doctor would do to check for temperature. It’s an odd gesture that makes me feel even more that she cares for me and she deserved to know what information I have.
Don’t tell her, the voice urges me once again.
“Brother Willow knows it all,” I say, feeling sudden stabs of pain inside my head. “There’s no need to reveal anything you already know.”
Sister Faun smirks. “The background politics of the Order of Power are tricky, something a boy like you would never understand. Sometimes I think I don’t understand it either. It wouldn’t surprise me if Brother Willow left out a vital piece of information just to make himself look good.”
“Who does Brother Willow want to impress?” I wonder.
“That’s no concern of yours.”
I really want to tell her this is all my concern, especially when they are threatening my life, when suddenly I feel a sharp pain. It’s like a thousand wasps stinging the inside of my skull and I want to cry out and bang my fists against the ground.
“Tell me what I want to know,” she demands crossly. “I’m getting a little bored of waiting. You want to tell me everything.”
So I tell her. I start off by thinking that I’m doing the right thing but, by the end, I’m disgusted with myself. I have to be content with the fact that I’m not really giving anything away. She knows everything already. By the disappointed look on her face I know I’m right. That makes me glad.
“He told me everything,” she muses. Why does she look so upset that she hasn’t been betrayed? “I’m surprised.”
“I’m so glad your faith in that monster is intact,” I snap. “Now stop giving me pain and leave me alone.”
“Pain?” she wonders.
“You can hypnotize me all you want,” I say, venting my fury towards her. “You don’t have to give me pain, too.”
“I wasn’t aware I was.”
She appears genuinely nonplussed, but I wouldn’t put it past her to lie. She is a Sister in the Order of Power after all, and lying is a part of who they are. I mustn’t let my guard down in front of her. This woman wants to kill me, and I have to remember that. But what choice do I really have? All she has to do is look into my eyes and I would tell her anything. I can’t believe that she made me think she was beautiful! She’s a despicable hag.
Sister Faun is gone. I hate it when she does that. I imagine she thinks she’s being enigmatic, but I just find it annoying and creepy. She’s probably hiding behind a tree spying on me. I hope the parrot swears at her or pecks her eyeballs out. It’s no more than what she deserves.
After another ten minutes or so of wandering the cave garden and being surprised by every beautiful detail I come across, I find Brother Pine searching for me. There are still sections of the gardens that I haven’t had a chance to go to yet, including what looks like some kind of outdoor zoo.
“I’ve been looking all over for you,” he complains, grabbing me hard by the wrist, which is still a little sore from when the Brothers held me for Sister Faun. “If you were thinking of evading me and therefore delaying your repurposing then you’ve got another thing coming.”
I had thought about it, but had known it would be futile.
“I just got swept up by it all,” I say truthfully. I would so very much like to camp out in this cave garden. “It’s very beautiful.”
“It is,” Brother Pine agrees.
“Why do you have it?”
Brother Pine seems confused. “The garden?”
“What’s the point of it?” I look around at him, at the trees and the flowers and the butterflies. “I thought the Brothers and Sisters were repurposed to serve the gods only?”
Again, there is only confusion written on Brother Pine’s face as he says, “I’m not sure I understand you, Ben. Do you think we’re like the cleaners? That we live to serve the gods and don’t care about anything else?”
“That’s what Brother Willow told me.”
He grins slyly. “We serve the gods because we have been repurposed to do so, yes, but if we were to do that only, we’d be mindless creatures like the cleaners. I collect butterflies.”
“Dylan used to like butterflies.”
The lights flicker again. The two of us look up at the cave ceiling, towards the strips of lighting, and suddenly the whole place goes pitch dark. I don’t like the feel of it at all. The Order of Power should not lose control like this, especially with me trapped in the garden.
“I’ve managed to short out the electricity for the entire complex, so that means they can’t listen in on us,” Brother Pine whispers in my ear. “Listen to me carefully, Ben, we have about a minute until the back-up generators turn on and then I won’t be able to say anything more.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to do my best to get you out of this place, brother,” he goes on. “You need to leave and go as far away from here as you can.”
“What’s going on?” I wonder, suspecting something. It still feels like Sister Faun is inside my head. “My brother is dead, you said so yourself.”
“The repurposing started failing about six or seven months after I had it done but only Brothers and Sisters that have been with us for ten years are actually allowed out of the facility. The security for this place is vast. If I could have escaped I would, but I just never had the opportunity.”
I don’t know why, but I believe him. This really is Dylan, and not just Brother Pine playing a cruel trick on me. Somehow I’d known that Brother Pine acted different with me than the others. The signs had been there, I just hadn’t sifted through the clues. My brother is alive! The repurposing had failed! What does that mean? Could the same happen to Father? Could it happen to me too? There are so many questions.
“How do we get out of here?” I ask.
“The parrot gave me a clue, he...”
With a blinding flash the lights come back on. I close my eyes and stagger back a bit, almost falling over. I can hear the parrot squawk madly somewhere high up above and the bleating of what sounds like a goat. It must be in the small zoo I haven’t got around to seeing yet.
“Dylan, I...”
Brother Pine slaps me across the face. “I thought you got that I wasn’t your brother? My name is Brother Pine!”
The deep pain running through my cheek certainly puts the message across. So as I’m pulled back towards the lift I have to wonder exactly what the parrot’s role is in my escape from this place.