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“I wouldn’t exactly call it watching you. . . ” He dragged his finger across his lip and sauntered past me, tracing the tips of his fingers across the base of my back. It sent an eruption of sparks surging through me. “More like…observing you. ”
It was the first time he’d touched me on purpose, and it almost seemed like he’d done it to distract me.
I tried not to flinch at the sparks firecrackering all over my body, causing my blood to sing and my heart to pound.
For a moment, I thought I might faint.
Alex watched me very closely, as if waiting for me to react to his touch. It was like he thought I was going to freak out or something. I very easily could have too. But I fought hard and managed to keep my cool.
At least on the outside anyway.
A gap of silence passed by. The sounds of clicking computer keys and soft chatter trailed through the air. Beneath the lights, Alex’s green eyes shined like glass. It was amazing how staring into his eyes could make me feel like I was losing myself.
If it wouldn’t have been for a guy—whose name I think is Jason—scooting past us, I’m fairly certain we may have stood there forever, just staring at each other.
But the Jason guy ruined the moment.
Alex sighed, seeming disappointed, and motioned me to follow him as he headed back toward the astronomy section.
We didn’t speak to each other as we searched through the titles of books. I found one on the Milky Way that sounded interesting and sat down on the floor.
“So do you want to know what I think is funny. ” Alex flopped down on the floor next to me without a book. “That we chose our project based on what would be the quickest and easiest, yet I think out of the entire class, we’ve probably gotten the least accomplished. ”
I skimmed the list of titles in the index. “That might be because we skipped out yesterday. ”
“Yeah…maybe. ” He paused. “So what is it?”
I looked up at him, perplexed. “So what is what?”
“Your fascination with astronomy. ” He leaned against the shelf behind him, creating a domino effect with a row of books. “I mean, you’ve got to have some kind of interest in it since you chose to take this class. ”
“I guess. ” I closed the Milky Way book. “Well, what’s your fascination with it?”
He smiled a smile that lit up his whole face. “An easy A. ”
I rolled my eyes and exchanged the Milky Way book for one that said it was about planet locations. As I turned back around, I spotted a blond girl bouncing her way up the aisle toward us. It was Kelsey Merritt. Great. I was sooo not in the mood to deal with her right now.
She wore a short pleated skirt and a pink sweater. She stopped just short of us, her gaze wandering between Alex and me like she was trying to make some kind of connection as to why we’d be sitting here alone together.
I couldn’t really blame her, though. I probably would have been trying to make the connection too.
She shot me a dirty look before flashing a smile at Alex. “Hey, mind if I get back in there,” she asked, pointing her perfectly manicured finger at the row of books between Alex and me. “I need to get a book. ”
“Sure. ” Alex scooted closer to me so that we were almost touching. “Go ahead. ”
Of course Kelsey took it upon herself to invade Alex’s personal space, kneeling down so close to him that her arm was practically resting on his leg. He moved over more, his shoulder pressing into mine. I froze, knowing I should probably slide over and give him some room, but I couldn’t seem to find the motivation to do so. Instead, I sat there, my body humming. Beside me, I could feel Alex stiffen, but he didn’t move away. I felt his eyes on me, watching me. I turned my head slowly toward him, and our eyes met. What happened next, I couldn’t tell you? My mind tuned out and didn’t come back into focus until I heard Kelsey’s very loud and obnoxious voice—didn’t she know this was a library?
“So what do you think?” she asked.
Alex and I blinked simultaneously liked we’d both just come out of the same dream.
Very reluctantly, he looked over at Kelsey. “Huh?”
Taken aback by Alex’s irritated tone, Kelsey eyes went wide. “About the project,” she said, fumbling to pull a book off of the shelf.
Alex raised his eyebrows at her. “What about it?”
Now she looked extremely upset, probably because it was the first time she’d been blown off by a guy. “That it’s such a waste of time. ”
Alex shrugged. “It’s not that bad. ”
Kelsey tossed her hair off of her shoulder. “Yeah, I guess it’s not that bad. But don’t you think it would’ve been better if we could have chosen the people we worked on it with. ” She shot a smirk at me.
I glared at her.
“Not really,” Alex said dully.
“Oh. Well. Yeah. I guess. ” She tucked a book beneath arm, got to her feet, and fixed me with another dirty look.
I don’t know if it was the electricity, or Alex’s shoulder still pressed up against mine, but I suddenly felt possessed to put her in her place. “What the heck is your problem?”
I threw her off a little, a beat of silence skipping by before she found something to say back. “You’re my problem,” she said and stormed off, her hair swinging across her back.
I smiled at myself. Yeah, I know, I am supposed to rise above it and be better than her, blah, blah, blah. But I’d been putting up with her crap for way too long.
“That was a little out of character for you,” Alex commented, sliding away from me.
The space made me feel empty inside. “I think it was about time, though. ”
“Was it?” he mumbled to himself.
He could be so weird sometimes.
“So you never answered my question,” he said, selecting a random book off of the shelf.
“What question?”
“What your fascination with astronomy is?”
“Oh, that. ” I fiddled with the edges of the pages of the book I was holding. I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable sharing the reason with him. It was kind of personal, especially because it was connected so closely to the prickle. The first time I’d ever been truly happy was when I’d looked up at the stars. But if I told him that, I might come off sounding a little strange.
“Well, I guess it’s because the stars are so peaceful and mysterious and beautiful. ” I met his eyes, which made me lose my train of thought and I ended up babbling. “Sometimes I wish I could be up there in the sky with them. ”
His face dropped in horror, and I instantly regretted what I’d said.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Did I say something…” Weird.
He shoved the book he had in his hand back on the shelf and stood up. “I think I…I left my phone in my bag. ” Then he practically sprinted off toward the table area.
I swallowed hard. I never should’ve opened my mouth. I really, really shouldn’t have.
I hung out in the astronomy section by myself until the bell rang. Then I went over to the table, carrying a few books I’d randomly pulled off of the shelf. To my surprise, Alex was there. I thought he’d left, but there he was, his phone pressed to his ear.
“Yes. Uh huh. I will,” he said. Seeing me, he quickly added, “I have to go. ” He hung up and shoved his phone into the pocket of his jeans. “So how much longer do you think it’s going to take for us to get this assignment finished?”
I set my books down on the table and shrugged, slightly irked by his brush off attitude. “I don’t know. Like you said, we really haven’t gotten much done. ”
“No we haven’t. ” He slipped on his jacket and zipped it up. “Okay, so here’s what I’m thinking. Maybe I should come over to your house after school so we can try to finish it up. ”
Huh? “You want to come over to my house?” He wanted to come over to my house. My house. I’d never had anyone over at
my house. Ever. Especially some gorgeous guy who had the gift of making my mind go blank just by looking at me.
“Yeah. ” He spoke slowly, like I was slow, which he probably thought I was. “Is there something wrong with your house?”
“No,” I said, which was sort of a lie. There was something wrong with my house. For starters, Sophia was there. “Its just that right now my grandmother and I are going through a…weird phase. ”
Weird phase? I sounded like an idiot.
He cocked an eyebrow, seeming amused. “What kind of phase?”
What kind of phase? What would be the best way to explain it to him? Tell him that everything was… strange. That Sophia and Marco couldn’t stand me. That we…“A yelling one. ” I decided. It was too complicated to even try.
He laughed. “So is that a yes or no?”
I sighed. “I guess it’s a yes. ”
I wrote my address down on a piece of paper and gave it to him. He told me that he’d come over around 4:30. Then he left to go to lunch. As I watched him walk out, I felt more alone than I ever had.
I took my lunch out of my bag and headed back toward my usual loner spot, desperately wishing that I wasn’t.
Chapter 9
Marco and Sophia weren’t there when I got home. I was so glad. If I was really lucky then maybe they wouldn’t show up until after Alex had left.
I cleaned up my room a little while I waited for 4:30 to roll around. I also had a temporary loss of sanity where I played around with the idea of changing into something different. I was wearing jeans and a black tee, and they suddenly seemed so plain. But then I realized, who was I trying to kid? It wouldn’t change anything. I’d still be socially incompetent, weirdo Gemma with the freaky violet eyes. And besides, I didn’t even own anything other than t-shirts and jeans
I turned on some music and started on the essay to pass the time. I marked some pages with a highlighter and jaunted down a few notes. I’d made some real progress by the time I heard the door bell ring.
I trotted down the stairs and opened the front door. Alex stood on the porch, the hood of his jacket pulled over his head as snowflakes drifted down on top of it.
“Hi. ” I opened up the screen door and let him in.
He stepped into the foyer, rubbing his hands together to warm them up as he glanced around at everything. There wasn’t much to look at, though; a small table with a few framed pictures of Marco and Sophia on it, and a large painting of a castle by a lake.
“So this is where you live,” he remarked.
“Yep, this is where I live. ” I didn’t mean to sound so unenthusiastic, but I did. “My rooms upstairs and I figured we could go up there and work on the assignment. ”
“In your room?” He squirmed around uncomfortably, which I thought was odd.
Then again, a lot of things he did were odd.
I gave him a strange look. “If you want, we could work on it at the kitchen table. ”
He shook his head. “No, your room’s fine. ”
I raised my eyebrows. Okay. Whatever. I gestured for him to follow me as I head up the stairs.