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I thrust my jaw forward and glared at Conner, then finally said, “I suppose Latamer won’t be much company now. I’ll stay here. ”
“Excellent decision. ” Conner clapped a hand on my back as if we were old friends. He nodded at Mott, who let me go, then added, “I’m sure Latamer’s death is a shock to you, but it was important for you three to understand the seriousness of what we are doing. ”
When I sat up, Cregan’s leg brushed roughly past me as he went to help lift Latamer’s body into the wagon. Normally, I’d have kicked him in return, but for the moment I was too stunned to think.
“Bury him deep,” Conner said.
Still on the log, Tobias was pale and perfectly still. Roden looked as if he was having trouble breathing. My breathing wasn’t working any better. It didn’t help that Mott had rudely pressed his knee into my back for the last couple of minutes.
Conner’s smile was a thin line on his face. “Sage, I believe your question earlier was why we had the meeting before we ate. This is why. So we wouldn’t waste our food. ” His eyes passed over to Roden and Tobias. “How about it, then? Does anybody else want to leave?”
Mott laid out a sack of fresh fruit and salted meat, but other than him and Conner, none of us touched it.
“It’s your last chance until breakfast,” Conner said. “You’ll want to keep your strength up. ”
Roden shook his head at Conner. He didn’t look like he could stomach a bite of food anyway. Tobias had been nearly frozen since Latamer was killed. He’d barely even blinked. I’d gone numb. Literally. I felt nothing.
Conner and Mott ate their meal while the rest of us sat. Slowly, the shock wore off and we began to accept that as long as we did what we were told, we’d live to see another morning. Conner offered the food to us again.
“We have more traveling ahead of us, so you’ll only hurt yourselves if you don’t eat. ”
Roden reached for the food first. He handed it to me and then Tobias. The piece of meat I took was unbearably salty and forced me into taking an apple, even though I had no appetite for it. I don’t think Tobias or Roden enjoyed their food much either. A wave of nausea threatened me every time I looked in the direction where Latamer had fallen.
At the orphanage, we’d all seen our share of violence and brutality. I once saw an older boy start kicking a younger one just for rolling over onto his mattress. It took five of us to stop him. But Conner had told Latamer it would be safe to leave. He baited Latamer, to teach us a lesson about leaving. The knowledge that Latamer had been brought along only for that purpose consumed my thoughts.
If I’d figured out what was happening even a few seconds earlier, could I have stopped it? Were any of the rest of us here as no more than a lesson to the others?
“Now that you’ve eaten, we can continue our conversation. ” Conner nodded at Tobias. “Stand up. I wish to get a general understanding of who each of you is. ”
Tobias stood stiffly. His knees were rigid and he looked like he was about to be sick.
“Tobias, you and an opponent are engaged in a sword battle. It’s meant to be a battle to the death, but it’s also clear that he’s better than you are. Do you fight on, knowing you’ll likely die, or stop the battle and beg for your opponent’s mercy?”
“I beg mercy,” Tobias said. “If it’s clear I won’t win, then nothing is accomplished through my death. I’d hope to live and make myself stronger for the next battle. ”
Conner nodded at Roden. “What about you?”
Roden stood. “Fight to the death, even if it’s my own. I’m a good fighter, sir, and I will not live as a coward. ”
Tobias flinched at that, but he said nothing. A slight smile crossed Roden’s face; he knew he’d taken an edge with his answer.
“Have you been trained with a sword?” Conner asked.
Roden shrugged. “An old Carthyan soldier lives near my orphanage. He used to have me do rounds with him, to keep up his skills. ”
“Did you ever win?”
“No, but —”
“Then you haven’t been trained. ” Conner turned to me. “Sage?”
“Beg mercy. ”
Roden snorted.
I continued. “Then when my opponent lowers his guard, certain of his victory, I’d finish the battle. ”
Conner laughed.
“A violation of all sportsmanship in swordplay,” Tobias said. “What do I care about sportsmanship?” I said. “If I’m about to get killed, it’s not play anymore. I won’t check the rules to see if my survival fits with someone’s codebook of fair play. ”
“You’d never win that way,” Roden said. “Any master swordsman won’t lower his guard until you’re disarmed. ”
“Conner didn’t say he was a master swordsman,” I said. “Only that he was better than me. And yes, I would win. ”
Conner walked closer to me. “Stand when I address you. ”
I obeyed. Conner was taller than me by several inches and stood closer than I liked. But I refused to step back. It occurred to me that he was testing to see whether I would.
“Are you standing straight?” Conner asked. “You slouch so much, I might mistake you for a hunchback. And with all that hair in your face, you might be a criminal too. ”
I straightened but made no attempt to push the hair out of my eyes. I could see him just fine, which was all I cared about.
Conner asked, “Who do you look like? Your mother or father?”
“That’s hard to say, sir. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen myself in a mirror. ”
“You have a clever tongue and an arrogant tilt to your head. I’m surprised Mrs. Turbeldy hasn’t beaten it out of you. ”
“You mustn’t blame her. She beat me the best she could. ”
“You’re a trick to figure out, Sage. Would you ever be on my side, even if I chose you above the other boys?”
“I’m only on my side. Your trick will be convincing me that helping you helps me. ”
“What if I did?” Conner asked. “How far would you go to win?”
“The better question, sir, is how far you will go to win. ” I looked him steadily in the eyes as I spoke, although his back was to the fire and his eyes were set in shadow. “You killed Latamer. So we know you’re willing to murder to win. ”
“I am. ” Conner backed up, speaking to all of us again. “And I’m willing to lie, to cheat, and to steal. I’m willing to commend my soul to the devils if necessary because I believe there is exoneration in my cause. I need one of you to conduct the greatest fraud ever perpetrated within the country of Carthya. This is a lifetime commitment. It will never be safe to back down from my plan and tell the truth. To do so would destroy not only you but the entire country. And you will do it to save Carthya. ”
“To save Carthya?” Tobias asked. “How?”
“Later, later,” Conner said. “Until then, boys, Mott has laid out a blanket for each of you by the fire. Tonight we sleep, and sleep well, because tomorrow our work will begin. ”
I chose the blanket closest to me. Roden lay near me and wrapped his blanket tightly around him.