She was acutely aware of his closeness. They had very little room and their breathing seemed suddenly very loud.
It was the caretaker. He moved into the classroom, mumbling to himself, “Was sure there was something, someone. Blooming kids.” They heard him moving around and then suddenly the light went out in the room, plunging the stationery cupboard into almost pitch black. They heard the sound of the door to the room closing again and then a key being turned in the lock.
Ellie made a move to get out of the cupboard, panicked that they might be locked in the room for the night, but Nate kept a firm grip on her arm.
“Don’t worry. Mrs. Marsh gave me a key,” he said, reading her thoughts.
The sounds of the caretaker’s footsteps receded down the corridor and Ellie again pushed at Nate. He let the cupboard door swing open and moonlight streamed in from the long windows that looked out onto the courtyard.
“I think we should wait for a minute,” he said, keeping his voice low. “You know how sneaky he is. He might have suspected we were here and just hoped to give us a scare before coming back.”
Ellie nodded. She didn’t care. All she was aware of was her hand now on his chest, his whole body pressed against the side of hers. They didn’t have an awful lot of room in the cupboard and even if she backed up there was nowhere to go, just rows of shelves behind her. He pressed a little closer and she could see the mischief in his eyes as he smiled wickedly down at her.
“Did you make a wish on your birthday?” Nate asked softly, his breath feathering in her hair.
Ellie shook her head.
“Make a wish now instead.”
Ellie closed her eyes and wished silently to herself.
“Granted,” he whispered, as he bent and brushed his lips across hers. Then he lifted his head, giving her a chance to escape if she wanted.
She didn’t want to. She didn’t move, just gazed up at him, waiting.
“God, Ellie,” he groaned. “You have no idea what you do to me.” He put his arms around her and bent his head again. She opened her mouth and he kissed her deeply.
She felt like she had been waiting forever for his kiss. All those weeks of flirting and games, all leading to this one moment.
Chapter Eleven
Her heart beat wildly, her brain turned to mush and every bone in her body was yearning to get even closer to him.
His hands snaked under her jumper and explored the bare flesh of her midriff. She murmured in pleasure and her own hands sought out the buttons of his shirt. She began to undo them, still kissing him passionately. She wanted more and pressed her body against him. Then, abruptly, Nate pushed away from her.
“No,” he said gently. “Not like this. Not for you and me.”
Ellie felt dazed and confused. Wasn’t he trying to seduce her? Didn’t he want her?
Nate leaned against the shelves and did his shirt buttons back up.
“I think we’d better call it a night, before I do something we’ll both regret,” he said, not meeting her eye.
Ellie’s face burned with humiliation. She had let her guard down. How could she be so dumb? This was Nate Naverly, the heartbreaker. And now she’d just handed him all the cards, he now knew she wasn’t immune to him. That was probably exactly what he wanted.
She strode over to the door. “Can you let me out please? I’m really tired all of a sudden.”
She was hugely grateful for the darkness hiding her face, as he turned the key in the door and checked the corridor for teachers. She slid out of the room beside him and they moved quietly down the corridor together. They didn’t speak until they reached the stairs to West Tower.
“Ellie…” Nate reached out to take her hand, but she moved out of his reach.
“Thanks for the history lesson, Nate. Goodnight.” She began to climb the stairs, aware of his eyes as he stood on the landing below her.
Flora was still awake when Ellie snuck back into their room at nearly one a.m. Ellie quickly undressed and brushed her teeth. Flora had been reading with a torch under the covers and stuck her head out when she heard Ellie climb into bed.
“So?” she whispered, her voice full of the excitement of gossip. “Did he kiss you?”
Ellie sighed, “Yes.”
“I knew it!” Flora squeaked.
“Shhh!” Ellie looked nervously over at the beds of the other two girls in their dorm room, neither of whom would appreciate being woken up.
Flora lowered her voice. “How did it feel? Was it amazing?”
Ellie was silent for a moment considering how to answer. It was a novel experience having a girlfriend to discuss this with. She wondered if she should brush off what had happened, or if Flora might be able to help her work out why he stopped kissing her. She could do with some advice, but she’d never talked about her feelings with another girl before and she didn’t know how much to share.
“It was great and then it went weird,” she whispered. “He kissed me and it was pretty mind-blowing. He’s definitely a good kisser, though I suppose he’s had lots of practice. But then he just stopped; he actually pushed me away and said we should ‘call it a night’. But I can’t work out why. Do you think I misread the signs? Do you think he was messing with me? Or do you think he doesn’t really want me but was just taking advantage of the opportunity of having any old girl right there with him in a dark room?”
“Maybe he likes you too much? Maybe he’s afraid you’ll hurt him?” Flora suggested, trying to think of something good to explain his actions.
Ellie snorted.
Flora smiled. “Okay, then maybe he was trying to do you a favour because he doesn’t want to hurt you by letting it go any further when he doesn’t want to be in a relationship?”
“This is Nate we’re talking about? He has no trouble with kissing a girl and never speaking to her again. I’ve heard the rumours,” Ellie said bitterly.
Flora tried again. “Well, maybe he likes you too much to do that to you? And anyway, rumours aren’t always true.”
“He doesn’t ‘like’ me that much. He’s never been particularly nice to me without some agenda. I think he does fancy me though, if that doesn’t sound big-headed. There seemed to be a real spark between us tonight, like great chemistry, you know? But if he does fancy me then why stop kissing me?”
“Hmm, I don’t know; sorry. Maybe because he’s really experienced and you are younger?” Flora snuggled down under her duvet so only her head poked out.
Ellie sighed in the darkness. “Maybe. I’m going to sleep now, goodnight.”
Flora didn’t answer and her eyes were closed.
Ellie lay staring at the ceiling. She replayed their kiss over and over in her mind. She thought it had been pretty spectacular. Had he thought so too?
It was time for a strategic retreat.
***
On Friday morning straight after breakfast, Nate went to the library to study for the French test he had to sit that afternoon.
He wished he could get his mind off Ellie. He knew now that she liked him back, enough to kiss him anyway. He should be feeling smug, but he didn’t; he just wanted more of Ellie. He wanted her to like him as a person as well.
He hoped that she at least felt grateful that he had stopped their make-out session from getting out of hand. It had been like pouring water on a burning flame, and not at all easy. He wasn’t used to doing the right thing. It wasn’t nearly as rewarding as doing the wrong thing.
After Gabriel had finished his first period English lesson, he slid into the seat next to Nate, and took out a book he was supposed to be writing an essay on for Drama.
“So.” He shot a grin at Nate. “You were back pretty late last night. Get lucky, did you?”
“Shut it, Brenner, you know I don’t kiss and tell,” Nate laughed back.
“Ahh, so there was kissing was there?” Gabriel teased. “Somehow I thought there might be. Is she a goer?”
Nate shook his head and looked aroun
d them to see if anyone was listening. “It’s like I said, I want her to like me, but that’s all. I kissed her because I want her a little bit hooked, but you know I can’t take it any further than that – she’s too young, so what’s the point?”
“It’s not all about sex if you like someone.” Gabriel’s eyes looked into the distance for a moment.
“Yeah, right. That’s easy for you to say, your girlfriend is nineteen and oozes sex out of every pore in her body. She goes like Jessica Rabbit, but you love her for her witty conversation?” Nate’s tired brain made him grumpy.
Gabriel gave him a look that clearly said he’d overstepped the mark.
“Sorry,” Nate mumbled. “To be honest, I do like Ellie, but she’s too innocent for me. I just can’t.”
Gabriel nodded. “I agree. I never understood why you were wasting your time on her. She’s only fifteen.”
“She’s sixteen now, and I’m sixteen too,” Nate corrected, not knowing why it mattered.
“Well, you’re seventeen in December, why not go for someone older? I’m sure Vanessa has some friends I could introduce you to.”
Nate raised his eyebrows. “Oh, come on, mate! You had a well hard time getting Vanessa to go out with you when she found out you were still at school. That’s why you like her so much. And let’s be honest, you’re better-looking than me, and already seventeen. None of her friends are going to bother with me.”
Gabriel shrugged but didn’t disagree. “Well, one of the girls in school then. What about Miranda Thompson in Year Thirteen? I’m pretty sure she likes you.”
“Yeah, maybe. But I already dated her friend Zoë, and you know what girls are like about that sort of thing. It’s easier with girls in our own year. In fact, most girls prefer a guy who’s older than them.”
Gabriel’s lip thinned as he moodily nodded his agreement to this statement, clearly thinking about the age gap between himself and Vanessa.
“Too bad you’ve already ticked off most of the girls in our year then, isn’t it.” Gabriel gave Nate a friendly punch on the arm, before turning back to his book.
At lunchtime, Nate noticed Ellie walk in. She didn’t look over to the North Tower table, but the colour was high on her cheeks and he was sure she knew he was watching her. She kept her head turned away and smiled at her friends as she joined them. Liam Anderson was waving at her from the South Tower table, and when she didn’t respond he went over to her table and squeezed in next to her. Nate curled his hand into a fist.
That night in the Games Room, Nate kept looking up every time the door opened. He told himself he wasn’t looking for Ellie, just keeping a lookout for some fresh talent. He played several games of pool, and was thinking about joining a poker game that someone was starting up for real money stakes, when he noticed Melissa Roper giving him the eye.
He looked at her thoughtfully. He’d always dismissed her because she was too easy. She was a very girly girl with blonde bouncy hair and baby pink lipstick. At a first glance she was really pretty, but up close he always felt she was wearing too much make-up and trying just a bit too hard. He liked the chase and with Melissa there wouldn’t be one. Or maybe there would? He’d never given her a chance.
Nate looked around the room. No sign of Ellie or any of her friends. He walked over to Melissa.
Chapter Twelve
On Saturday night, Nate went to bed early. He couldn’t be bothered with the usual good times going on in the North Tower Common Room.
He flicked through his phone, looking at old photos of himself and his friends. In the background of one of the shots he found Ellie. She was walking across the playing field behind his group, with her brother Jack. He zoomed in on her. She was looking up at Jack and laughing. Despite the slightly blurred focus, he could see the adoration on her face. Why didn’t she ever look at him like that?
He scrolled his contacts; he had Ellie’s number.
He tapped his fingers on the side of the phone a few times before composing a text to her.
Sorry about how things ended on Thursday. Are we still on for another lesson next week? I did promise Mrs Marsh I would get your History grade up.
There was a long wait, during which time he ate two packets of crisps and put his socks into pairs. He threw himself back down on his bed when his phone finally buzzed.
Yes. But no more trying to take me over to the dark side.
He grinned. Did she even know what film she was referencing with her “dark side” comment, or was she talking about the caretaker turning out all the lights?
He typed:
Don’t worry, I shall use the Force.
Her answer came straight back:
You’d better. I’ve felt “your presence” and it wasn’t anything to write home about. Don’t let it happen again.
He was smitten. A girl who could quote Star Wars? He might just have to date her after all. He loved the way she took the mickey out of him.
He couldn’t resist one more:
Watch your mouth, kid, or you’ll find yourself floating home.
She was quick with a counter-quote:
Into the garbage chute, flyboy!
He lowered his phone, smiling like an idiot. He should remember that she had two older brothers; no wonder she knew Star Wars so well, and no wonder she was so good at banter.
His phone buzzed again.
He swiped it on with anticipation. But it wasn’t Ellie, it was Melissa.
Hi, handsome. Last night was fun. It’s a full moon tonight, just perfect for a sneaky stroll.
Nate frowned. Didn’t girls know it was a total turn-off when they did the chasing? Maybe it wasn’t like that for all guys; perhaps it was just him, perhaps he had issues. It would be nice to just be with a girl for a while instead of always looking for the next challenge. As long as there was some spark between them, he felt he didn’t want to keep playing games any more.
He tapped his fingers again against the back of his phone as he thought. Then he began typing a reply to Melissa, just as an experiment:
That’s no moon, it’s a space station.
She replied immediately:
It is? Wow, really?
He sighed.
No, it was a joke.
Huh? I don’t get it.
“Of course you don’t,” he mumbled to himself. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know Star Wars; she was probably an only child. And he couldn’t say there was no spark just because she didn’t get his joke, but he had already worked out the night before that she wasn’t exactly witty.
I’m sorry, Melissa, I won’t be joining you for that stroll. It’s not you, it’s me…
He couldn’t really be bothered to find the words for a decent excuse; he left it hanging and pressed send. In the old days he might have found his detached feelings funny, now he just felt like a jerk.
I really am sorry, you’re very nice, and very pretty, I just like someone else more…
It sounded ridiculous; he deleted it before he sent something so obviously unlike him. He definitely did have issues! He turned off his phone and went to sleep.
***
“I think they should ban double gym class on a Monday!” Flora moaned, pulling on her hockey skirt, “It’s just pure evil.”
Ellie agreed heartily. But very little seemed able to dampen her spirits today. She wavered between various states when it came to Nate; sometimes she was miserable because he had all but rejected her when they kissed, but sometimes she wondered if it was because he was actually serious about her and just didn’t know how to say so. After his texts on Saturday night, she felt more than ever that he really liked her.
Flora stamped out of the room and Ellie took her time doing up the laces on her boots. She was in no hurry to run around on a freezing field in a short skirt.
Her head shot up as she heard Nate’s name. Someone on the other side of the changing rooms was talking about him. There were too many lockers for her to see who. She tried to creep to the end
of the row in her clumping hockey boots.
It was Melissa Roper, a year twelve girl from East Tower, who was surrounded by her friends, but crying.
“So we spent all Friday night together, and he acted like he was totally into me. Then to dump me by text message! It’s so out of order.”
“You spent the night together?” One of her friends sounded shocked.
“It wasn’t like that, obviously.” Melissa glared at her friend. “Not that Nate didn’t try of course, you know what he’s like. I just meant we spent the whole evening chatting together. He was really flirting with me and then on Saturday he just went and froze me out.”
One of her friends patted Melissa half-heartedly on the shoulder. “I don’t know why you’re surprised, Mel, he did exactly the same to me a year ago, remember? Only way worse! And we all made a pact not to get involved with him. Or did you forget and let your hormones do your thinking?”
Ellie slumped onto a bench. So Nate had spent Friday night snogging Melissa? He had pushed Ellie away and the very next night had been with Melissa? How far had it gone really? Why was she at all surprised? She had known Nate was like that. It was the whole reason she had tried to stop him from seducing Rose.
He was a total slimeball, good-looking, slimeball, funny, slimeball, sexy slimeball!
Coach Midden appeared at the door of the changing rooms. “Miss Parkhurst? Do you feel like joining us today, or would you prefer a detention?”
Ellie jumped up, grabbed her hockey stick and marched out onto the field ready to whack the stuffing out of some hockey balls.
Chapter Thirteen
Nate paced up and down in front of the books that normally gave him so much comfort. The history classroom was the nicest in the school in his opinion. The books were old and well read, just like the subject.
Nate found himself mired in self-analysis. Did he live too much in the past? Why hadn’t he ever had a long-term girlfriend? Or perhaps he had been so much in the moment that he hadn’t thought about the future enough? Why was he suddenly looking at himself and not liking what he saw? How did Ellie see him?
He wondered if he was screwed up in some way. He could hardly fault his parents for his attitude, they were fairly normal and loving; he couldn’t blame it on a bad upbringing. Maybe he was just growing up a bit. Where was all this self-doubt coming from? He was usually so sure of himself. It was something to do with Ellie, of that he was certain.