She had overheard her mom’s phone conversation with Grandma Lucy last night, and heard Jericho’s name again and again. How it crushed her! She refused to believe they were planning again to isolate her from Jericho once he was freed from jail.
She shut her eyes and looked at the clock, which was now clicking close to nine in the morning. It wasn’t her habit to get up late but things weren’t the same anymore. Life, for her, had lost its drive. She simply chose to keep going, for she had to.
Then, she shifted her stare to the windows. The morning light was glorious, passing through the white curtains which she forgot to close before she fell asleep. She had been standing there last night. Waiting. Hoping that Jericho would miraculously appear from the shadows of the night.
Time and again, she’d felt sorry for leaving him. She felt guilty, felt worse than a criminal. But if there were people imprisoned here, it wasn’t her. It was really the people who kept hindering justice… the justice of young love.
That morning surge of Sophia’s emotions made her take control of herself. She began to feel defiant against everything and everyone. She wanted rebellion. She wanted freedom. For reasons she couldn’t figure out, herself.
*****
Thursday night made Sophia’s revolt become a reality.
She and Zarah dove into Anne’s party despite a chain of arguments she had had with her parents. They didn’t want her to go out, but Sophia was hard as a rock so that her parents ultimately admitted defeat.
“I have to go out or else I’ll die thinking of Jericho! I don’t know if Grandma Lucy really withdrew her allegation against him, or if Jericho is now rotting in prison!” Sophia unintentionally yelled at her parents, something she hadn’t done before. “Why don’t you just leave me alone! I’m sick of you always trying to protect me!” She yelled louder. It was a major concern that the couple couldn’t abide, but they stiffened their spines and tried to be more considerate.
Philippe and Elizabeth tried to understand their daughter. Letting Sophia out was a huge risk but they, one way or another, realized that their daughter was, indeed, in need of it. Sophia had been mute lately, locking herself in her room, hardly eating, and they already worried over the possibility that it might lead her to depression... or worse, losing. Knowing that Zarah would be there to accompany their daughter was something that helped to remove a portion of doubt from their chests.
The party was attended by fellow upcoming seniors, with a few sophomores and outsiders gate-crashing.
Zarah was in a sexy metallic blazer and displayed searing hot smoky eyes while Sophia was as modest as ever with her lavender sleeveless chemise and zero makeup. Without question, she could still turn every head around, even in her most quiet, effortless get-up.
The place was absolutely crowded and chaotic, muddled up with varieties of alcohol, packs of weed, and other drugs that were secretly passed from one person to another. And if not controlled, a bunch of these party animals would be diving into the pool or running naked across the streets, until the cops interfered.
The music was excessively deafening and no one could absolutely resist dancing, not even Sophia who was down and feeling very low at that moment. She was hopping while exchanging a few words with Zarah when Alex unexpectedly slipped in—in cold blood—and dragged Zarah out to nowhere.
The two’s departure made Sophia explore the house and try things new when a guy suddenly trailed her.
“Hello, Sophia.” His voice was manly and appealing.
Head down, Sophia lifted her chin to face him. He was quite familiar. She was one hundred percent sure she had seen him before, but she couldn’t remember where.
The guy spoke again, tagging along with a confident smile. “I’m glad you came. I’m Enzo, by the way,” he said as he offered his hand for a hand-shake. “You probably don’t remember me, but we were friends… before your amnesia.” His gentle accent and dark eyes did not make a dent on her memory. Sophia could hardly figure out the last place she saw him. Too late she realized she hadn’t granted his hand-shake yet, but it seemed he was reading her mind.
“If you’re thinking of the last place we’ve met, it was in a Filipino restaurant, by the Eight Avenue. You had lunch there with your family,” Enzo explained.
Sophia’s surprise and curiosity caged her, kept her speechless. She wished she hadn’t drunk too much so she could think better, but there was something about this guy, not a special brand of dangerous charm, but probably someone with some answers that her own family would not give her.
Then, Enzo cleared his throat to prevent the dialogue from hanging. “Mind if I get you a new drink?” He shot a smile, still looking very engaging.
Sophia’s thoughts drifted from that question as she felt the eagerness to begin asking, but it felt like it was too soon. And she didn’t want, of course, to create a bad impression—she just met him!
“Thanks, but I haven’t emptied my bottle yet,” she said after some time, and they fell into another stream of awkward silence.
Enzo knew it was up to him to speak but he noticed the restlessness in her. She was still that same Sophia he knew almost four years ago. The one who had always been secluded. Mysterious and intriguing.
He remembered the first time he saw her, back in their freshman year. She was the country girl lost in the city of haste and hubbub. She had only one companion then—Daniella—who shared the same pursuit of wanting to belonging, in the family.
Very clearly, Enzo was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Even up to now. And for those first two months that they used to be casual friends, back then, he couldn’t help but wind up that it was all worthwhile, though she was caught up with too many hustle and bustle. And now that her ex, Giovanni, was dead, Enzo was even more driven. (Little did he know about the other guys in Sophia’s life.)
“I guess I have to go now. I’m sorry.” Sophia tried to face him. She could no longer think of any alternative so as to prolong the conversation with this new guy, although she knew he could be a link to the gaps in her memory. Playing the cool role was not just her forte.
Enzo’s smile vanished. “Why leave too early?” Enzo asked, wondering if he lacked all the charm or she had just utterly changed.
It was the worst moment of the night for Sophia. Her current situation would be much easier if she had to leave in the soonest way possible. She’d never been good in dismissing difficult conversations, especially with strangers. Leaving was always the best escape plan for her.
“Thank you for tonight.” She then seized the courage to say it, accompanied by a coy smile to make amends for her silence. “I’ll see you around.”
The exchange of words with Enzo was refreshing for Sophia but she wasn’t geared up, yet, to rekindle any lost friendship in the past. At some point, she was scared. Scared of the things that might come surprisingly, that she would never expect.
CHAPTER 4
________________________________________________________ † ________________________________________________________
thE lady in polka dots
Normally, Elizabeth didn’t mind preparing for dinner, but Friday night was quite special. Her sister, Lilly, was coming all the way from London, to spend the rest of the summer with her and to see their parents, too.
It had been ages since Elizabeth saw Lilly, and she wondered if her sister was still that same hilarious Stephanie Plum she remembered most about her. Only this time, Elizabeth hoped Lilly was now on the road to redemption, after a life in ruins.
She remembered Francheska, too.
Yes, the poor Francheska. The three of them were Randy’s precious Tres Marias.
Elizabeth flashed back to the times when she and her sisters were just little girls, dreaming of the fancy things life could offer them, and that Elizabeth would become a lawyer (which she had achieved but she became a full-time mother, by choice). Lilly would become one of the world’s greatest chefs (which she hadn’t ach
ieved, and indeed, she had always been messing up, until now). And Francheska would become a teenage superstar (but nobody knew because she had been gone, since then, and hadn’t communicated with the family).
Elizabeth held back a tear. Though it was far from happening, she wished her sister Francheska would be coming to visit, too. She longed so much for her sister to finally take a glance at Sophia, to let her see how the latter turned out, as Francheska’s exact doppelganger: those same sultry ocean eyes, radiant olive skin, and brown hair— some of the many features they had in common. How would Francheska react once she learned about everything, especially about Sophia?
A cab stopped by their house, and Alex saw it through the open windows.
“Mom, Aunt Lilly is here already,” he yelled, while he and Nadine were watching their favorite HBO series in the living room.
Everyone gathered to welcome Lilly, except for Sophia. She was there in her room, writing on her diary after finishing a canvas of a girl gone in the wilds, so dark and misty. The same daily activities had bored her since they arrived from their stint at Forest Green. When she heard the welcoming voices from downstairs, she tried to come down and join in, knowing someone was coming. Nadine happened to share it to her when the former visited her room the other night.
The problem was… Sophia was absolutely clueless about her Aunt Lilly. Aside from the fact that she couldn’t recall her, she also hadn’t seen Aunt Lilly mentioned in any of her diaries, and it frightened her. It frightened her that her aunt might ignore her… or treat her differently. It seemed that Sophia’s diaries were not as comprehensive as she hoped.
On the last step of the staircase, Sophia was thrown off balance when the lady in polka dots, who was then warmly welcomed into the living room, turned to glimpse at her.
“Hello. I suppose you are Sophia,” the strange lady said. The voice from those pink lips sounded calm and friendly.
Somehow, the drum roll in Sophia’s chest mellowed down. She didn’t expect that her aunt would greet her first—a good sign that her aunt wasn’t aloof. But she wondered why new people were suddenly entering in their lives lately. Did it have something to do with her running away?
Lilly didn’t look strange to Sophia, or maybe it was because Lilly had the dominant genes of the Roberts, Sophia’s maternal side. However, her small height was uncharacteristic of the Roberts. She was unmistakably smaller than Elizabeth, had a stout body build-up, and a few wrinkles on her face. Perhaps the presumptions were true, that she had been on drugs, at some point in her glum life as a woman who was always rejected.
Like a glass that would break at any moment, Sophia watched her aunt walk towards her. Lilly was bestowing her a careful scrutiny. Sophia’s brooding look reminded Lilly so much of someone else.
The sight of Sophia’s humid eyes shredded Lilly’s heart. She could sense the solitude in her niece. Anguish even. And just like everyone else, she wished that Sophia could be seen by Francheska, too. Francheska needed to have her past life fall back into place, now. But this was not the time for nostalgia. Lilly had to stay casual and focused. She had just met her niece.
Wonder came silently, to Sophia. Why was her aunt looking at her like that? Was there something wrong with her? Or with her face? She was pretty sure she’d fixed herself in the mirror before leaving her room.
Her wonders fell into pieces when Lilly uttered again. “How’s my dearest niece?” Lilly was sweeter than syrup, and way too careful when touching her.
Sophia’s heartbeat drummed quicker and louder as her aunt enclosed her and made her feel like there was no way out. And that was the time when Elizabeth butted in.
“Oh, it’s been a long trip, Lil! Mom and I prepared for a little festivity,” she said, and the attention was suddenly shifted to dinner.
Altogether, they gathered around the elliptical table, with zest burgeoning in the air. Before the prayer, Sophia was bordered with curiosity. New people had been showing her some sympathy lately, and she found it bearable. There must be something in her life, in her past that had been hovering, waiting to be uncovered. But what was it? What was there? What had happened in the past that made her present life much too hard?
Heavens, if only her memory didn’t keep failing her!
“So this is your idea of a little festivity?” Lilly laughed at Elizabeth’s irony, right after Nadine led the prayer. The ethnically diverse cuisines loaded on the table had quickly resolved Lilly’s lassitude from the long trip, and she began digging in. She’d still got it, that effortless humor that everyone liked so much.
The dinner commenced with so much chats about each other’s goings-on and it ended with a great deal of recollecting… digging up old memories, except for those that involved Francheska. The adults had it that way in the fear that Sophia might catch up onto something in their stories, and it wasn’t the right time yet to reveal anything bad, from the old days.
The whole time, Sophia was plainly a listener. She was already entertained, just watching everyone turn their heads to each other and talk about life. They were lively, but it seemed they were a bit careful with their words. She wasn’t that naïve not to notice.
At midnight, a careful knock distracted Sophia’s reading of Great Expectations. She got up from the bed and discovered her aunt’s presence in her door.
“Hey, are you about to sleep now?” Lilly asked beaming, allowing her snowy white teeth to glitter with the lights from overhead.
Sophia was almost icy in her reply. It was the best act of politeness she could muster—to return a smile and welcome her visitor-aunt to her room, but she failed to do so. She was merely surprised and shy, and that was always a bad combination for her.
Lilly narrowed her eyes then and gladly repeated her question. This time, Sophia was now attentive. “Ah, not yet… Aunt,” she said, shaking her head.
“Good. I can’t go to bed, so I thought that maybe, I could come and talk to you. Is that all right with you?”
Sophia seemed to have regained some confidence, and she now invited her aunt to her room. “Sure, I’d love to,” she said.
The first thing Lilly did was to delve through her niece’s framed photos on the wooden desk, and saw nothing but Sophia’s face and her best friend’s. “Um, any picture of a boyfriend?” she asked, with the attempt to open up a girly dialogue.
For a split-second, Sophia could not give her any response. She didn’t know the words to say. Surely Aunt Lilly would not need to know she had some flings in the past… but she was quite uncertain with the number. She was unsure if she had to include Abanir, or even Jericho. And the funny thing about the latter was… at the moment she couldn’t even point out if they were still on or it was over-and-done-with kind of thing.
Then Lilly saw Charles Dickens’ book unfolded on her niece’s bed, saving Sophia from a reply.
“In high school, I was forced to read that book,” Lilly began sharing. “And what was remarkable to me is the line,” she paused in her thinking, and proceeded the moment she remembered, “The success is not mine, the failure is not mine—”
“But the two together make me,” Sophia continued it for her. “I like that line, too.” That moment seemed to bind her to Lilly effortlessly.
Yet Lilly’s blue eyes seemed to be more inquisitive. “So, I’m guessing you don’t have a boyfriend.” It sounded as though it was a shock.
With her head down now, Sophia did not know if she would smile or feel sorry for herself. There was this urge to share a few things to her aunt—confessions actually, about her current state with Jericho—but she was rather afraid that Lilly would judge her, or relay all the information to her mom. It might cause her another pandemonium.
Then Lilly looked at her niece with dawning knowledge. “Hey, wait a second,” she was grumbling, “are you not allowed to date? Like your mom is playing the mother superior thing?” Lilly then brought herself closer to Sophia, and looked like she was about to discharge a big la
ugh.
Sophia was mid-way between feeling embarrassment and self-pity. “Um, kind of,” she shrugged, confused at why her aunt found it funny.
“Gosh, so this house must be a nunnery!” All at once, Lilly laughed, which made Sophia stagger all the more and eventually laugh, too, in unison.
A linking quickly bloomed between them. Despite the short time of exchanging a few words with each other, Sophia seemed to like her aunt already.
“You know what? I remember your mom.” Lilly began sharing. “Since she is the eldest among us, she used to be very strict. But you know, we accepted her the way she was. I guess she had to.” Lilly was gesturing as she spoke, and she recalled that one summertime in the west coast when Elizabeth scolded the young Francheska not to dive deep into the sand castle or she might die of suffocation.
Recovering from the flashback, Lilly didn’t know Sophia was already in the middle of her pondering. She captured the word among from Lilly’s story, and it gave her the idea her mother must have had more siblings.
“Did you just say among? You mean, you’re not the only sibling of mom?” Sophia queried, her eyes alight with enough curiosity.
“Yes, Sophia. How come you don’t know?” Then Lilly realized quickly that Sophia had amnesia. And before her niece could ask another question, she began the details saying Elizabeth was the eldest, she was the middle kid, and Francheska was the youngest.
The last name quickly sent electrical impulses to Sophia’s every nerve, and ignited her to the max.
“So where is Aunt Francheska now?” she asked, her face burning with interest, and fell into a series of wonders, memoirs, and even theories.
Lilly became silent all of a sudden, feeling stupid for her lack of discretion. This gave Sophia the impression that there was truly something with this Francheska—something tinged with fear. Or trouble. Or secrets and mysteries. Yet she felt so much anticipation: she wanted to find out about this other aunt. What was she like? Was she the same as her Aunt Lilly? Or was she more of her mom?
For Lilly, there was now this very need to be selective with her words. Another set of slipped words could mean real chaos. And if the bomb was about to explode now, it is safer if she wasn’t the one pressing the button.