I glared at my daughter-in-law, more like a daughter true to me. I was so happy when I’d discovered that the repairing of Hades and me had brought all our children back from the darkness.
Nim hadn’t told me much of her time in that hole, only that they’d always been there, protected by something greater than even me. Which had offended me, except I knew she was right because I’d never sensed her still being until one day she’d reappeared. Only true and terrible power could have hidden them from me thusly. And that thought did offend me. I did not enjoy the notion of not being the most powerful in the universe.
“Well,” I snapped, noticing Hermes streaking past us from the corner of my eye. No doubt he’d be running off to tell Mummy Dearest all about the crazy elemental who’d destroyed her twisted son even worse than she could have ever dared. I grinned at that thought. Oh, I did enjoy making the glittering throng piss themselves.
Nimue, who was one of the few in existence who could actually ignore me and not die for the impertinence, lifted her nose in the air and said nothing.
“Fine, then!” I snipped. “Don’t speak to me, but I got the job done, which was a sight more than what you—”
“I was getting to him!” she snapped right back, and I grinned, hip bumping her.
“Ah, I knew I’d get you to talk with me yet.”
“Dear gods, argh!” She tossed her hands into the air and glowered at me. “You’ve got the devil in you this time, Mother, more so than before. Papa ever tell you that?””
I patted my hair. “Why, thank you, dear.”
“Wasn’t a compliment, Mom.”
I could handle the hate from anyone, anyone but my family. I smiled softly at her, silently asking if she still loved me anyway, and she smiled softly back. She was annoyed, but she did love me, and that was enough to keep me happy.
She blew out a deep breath. “Papa sent me with you to keep an eye on you. You weren’t supposed to actually kill him.”
“Nim, I’ll forgive you your humanness that you actually believe him dead. He’s merely been twisted into a pretzel. He’ll live. And he got a free spine realignment out of it too. Honestly, I’d say I was too kind.”
“Mother,” she grumped.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Fine. I promise to let you speak with Themy once we get there. I’ll be a good little girl and keep my pie hole shut. Deal?”
“I don’t believe you,” she said but with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes.
I shoulder bumped her. “Well, you’re right. I was lying. But I do love you, Nimue. And being one hundred percent sincere with you now, I’m glad you’ve come. If you hadn’t, I might have done something I really regretted. Your father will be so proud of me. I’m becoming positively domesticated.”
Lifting a brow, she turned to glance over her shoulder, no doubt looking at the flying pretzel, and then turned back to me.
I grinned. “Could have been worse.”
“Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
I snorted. But she was absolutely right at that. We walked on in silence, and suddenly I wasn’t having quite as much fun as before. Nimue was physically here with me, but her thoughts were a thousand miles away. I glanced at her, giving her a small smile. But she wouldn’t look back at me.
Nimue was very, very silent, and there was heaviness on her now that hadn’t been there before, and I had a feeling I knew why. “They will be all right, my Nim.”
She looked up in surprise, big pretty eyes going wide and exposing the whites. “Oh, I wasn’t—”
I grabbed her hand, quieting her, and looking deeply into her eyes, I said, “The fairies will fix your parents. I know it. The mere fact that you’re here tells me all will be well in the end.”
She shuddered before giving me a wimpy smile. “Thank you, Calyssa. That means a lot to me. I try not to make Sircco worry about me, but I am worried. I can’t deny it. But if you have faith”—she beamed bravely—“then so will I. And now, before we get any deeper into things, let’s go talk with Themis, shall we?”
I was happy to have my daughter-in-law back. I considered her more blood than some of my actual bloodline to me, but I could tell she didn’t wish to think further on the matter. I dipped my head in acknowledgement.
“Yes, young Nim, lets.”
6
Calyssa
I tossed the sack of twisted pretzel before me, causing a small plume of debris to curl up around us. That bastard was heavy, even floating. Gods, what in the devil did Dite see in that lump, anyway?
I rolled my neck and shoulders to ease the tension that’d built between my shoulder blades. I might have shown off just a little when I’d decided to fly him like a kite before entering Themis’s cave of wonders. Totally worth it, though, to see the faces of shock and revulsion on the glittering throng.
I was sure I’d have them all here in less than five minutes now. No doubt in my mind that their conversations were going something as follows: “Oh, the horror. How dare she defile one of ours? I must defend Olympian honor now… blah, blah, blah.”
I’d found Themis easy enough. Even in the new world, she still lived in her bat cave. Literally, there were squeaking mice with wings chirping above us. She’d always had a strange obsession with them, I recalled that now, as I was also beginning to recall many other things.
As blind as Themis was, she wasn’t much of a designer, and she had absolutely horrid taste in music. I’d often caught her and Dite dancing to some godsforsaken band called ABBA back in the other time. I shuddered and glanced around, grateful not to see a glittering disco ball hanging above us.
Her taste in décor hadn’t changed all that much, and yet everything was different now too. Where before there’d been nothing but posters plastered up of sparkling humans in spandex, now there were not so sparkling humans in black leather. There were ravens in mid-flight suspended above us. I wasn’t sure if they were taxidermied or merely props, but judging by the moldy odor within, I’d say Themy was definitely going for realism here. In fact, Themis had a serious boner for darkness, it appeared.
There were skulls painted black, lining the walls of the cave, with fire glowing in their opened mandibles. And some kind of creepy organ music was being piped in from somewhere. And my once-upon-a-time friend who’d always been all things girly and unicorn farts was now dressed in a silky, gauzy gown of differing shades of black, looking like some modern-day goth fairy with gossamer (clearly very fake—Themy was blind, not a bat) and translucent pearl-gray butterfly wings affixed to her back.
Her entirely white eyes widened as she heard my entrance and sat forward on the edge of her seat. She held a mug of something steaming in her hand. Looked like tea. I’d like some tea.
“Nice digs, lady death,” I muttered. “Where’s the tea?” I glanced around me for the table of goodies the pathetic Olympians were always so obsessed with. Granted, I rather enjoyed teatime too. But that was semantics.
Themis, still struck dumb by my magnificent entrance, merely pointed to my left. I grinned and nodded my thanks before turning and grabbing a mug.
“Nim, darling, would you care for a spot of tea?” I asked her over my shoulder as I walked toward the table laden down with goodies.
“Um. No. Shouldn’t we—”
Sniffing, I turned the flower-painted mug over. It was far more frilly and girly than I’d expected to find considering Themy’s current aesthetics. “Teatime, Nim. It’s teatime.” And one never farted around with teatime.
I was just about to drop a cube of sugar into my mug when I noticed the words within.
“You’ve been poisoned,” I read slowly, grin growing as I did so. Now this was exactly what I’d expected from my now altered goth bat.
“What?” Nim said, sounding shocked, obviously hearing me.
I chortled as I tipped the mug at her. “The mug. You’ve grown a sense of humor, Themy. I’ll grant you. I think I might even like this newer, darker you, Blindy.”
&nb
sp; Themis harrumphed; clearly, my kindness hadn’t impressed her yet. I shrugged and poured my tea, taking my time. Letting the tension build. Soon enough, the maggots would all get here. I’d only be making my glorious speech once.
I took my time, drinking the spicy-orange-scented tea and admiring the macabre beauty of the place. Maybe I’d ask Hades to grab some skulls and paint them black. I was really rather fond of looking at the faces of my enemies for an eternity. Perhaps I’d start with a few of the Olympians while I was at it.
Hera with her pretty cow eyes would make an excellent talk piece for company.
Then I began to feel the tremble of power rolling at my back and sensed the gaggle had finally come a-calling. Screwing a tight smile onto my face, I twirled and was met with a face I’d not expected at all.
An ugly jackass wearing flowers all over her body was sitting on Themy’s black velvet couch, and I felt the water of my body began to froth and boil over. I narrowed my eyes.
“Hello, bitch.”
Said bitch gasped.
“Mother,” Nimue scolded, but I felt nothing but pure unadulterated hatred churning through me at the sight of the ugly hagfish.
Themy blinked. She looked paler than normal wearing so much black, and even her hair, which had once been a lovely shade of gold, was now as black as the soul of the bitch who sat beside her.
Bitch swallowed hard and I smiled, making sure she got a good look at my fangs while I was at it.
But then Nimue was there to spoil my fun, as ever, as she stepped before me and placed a hand on my arm and pushed me gently back.
Bitch was lucky Nimmy was with me, or I’d have gone full-on Great White high on chum on her flowery ass.
Nimue opened her mouth, more than likely to explain our presence, but we owed them nothing. They should feel honored we were here at all.
“Wait, Nim.” I lifted my hand to stall her.
She gasped, as though swallowing the words she’d been about to projectile vomit everywhere.
I grinned. “Just until all of the glittering throng arrives. We will only speak once to the plebs, my dear.”
“Plebs!” Themis growled, finally finding her tongue. “What is the meaning of this, Thalassa?”
“It’s Calyssa, Blindy. Get it right. And I’ll get to my meaning, soon enough.”
“Blindy. Blindy, you keep—”
Her shriek could shatter glass and made me wince. I wrinkled my nose and sealed her mouth shut with a snap of my fingers.
“Mother…” Nimue sounded exasperated. “You promised.” She sounded so put out with me. But honestly, it was either seal her mouth shut or sever her tongue. I’d chosen the kinder of the two options.
“I also said I’d lied, Nim. I won’t hurt her. I like her.” I winked at Themis, whose eyes widened with fury, and her unbelievably ghostly-pale flesh shone red with the rush of blood beneath her cheeks.
“You, though”—I looked at Bitch—“I do not like. I do not like at all.”
And I took a step forward. Not since rescuing Hades from Persephone’s twisted and demented mind games had I seen her again. But I’d vowed that if I ever should, it would be her last day on earth or any universe.
Persephone, mindless bitch that she was, merely stood like a scared meerkat wetting itself as I advanced slowly, steadily on her. Nim was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to pull me back, but I hated Persephone and aimed to make her pay for all the pain she’d caused my Death.
I felt a quick squeeze of power, and then I stood face-to-face with a ready-to-do-battle goddess of the harvest. Demeter, dressed in silks of gold, rust, and orange, was rather handsome in her own exotic way.
She had her arms spread wide and was staring up at me with a look that clearly said she knew she was no match for me but she’d rather die than allow me to harm her daughter. Demeter had always been extraordinarily protective of her brat, but I did not hate her. I did not much care for her, either, but hate was not an adjective I could lay against her.
“Demeter,” I said with conviction, “my quarrel is not with you.”
The crown of braided wheat she wore on her head quivered as she nodded. “Obviously, but you have no quarrel with my daughter, either.”
I snorted. “Oh really? Is that so? The bitch tried to harm my mate. I’d say that justifies my quarrel.”
Demeter’s eyes grew wide, but it was Persephone who came to her mother’s defense. She grabbed Demeter by the shoulder and turned her.
And I had to admit, I was impressed. It was stupid. But I was impressed that she’d attempt to protect her mother. The Persephone I’d known before hadn’t been nearly so brave.
She’d been a conniving, malicious brat who’d very nearly gotten my Hades decapitated for her lies.
“’Sephone, no!” Demeter cried, attempting to grab hold of her daughter and pull her back, but Persephone created a thick vine of ropey thorns that prevented her mother from coming any closer.
She was a petite thing, coming only to my chin. But she stared up at me with a core of steel burning in her eyes.
“I do not need my mother to fight my fights for me, goddess eater. Whatever quarrel you say we have, let us settle it like mature, rational women.”
To say I was shocked would be the understatement of the year.
My brows lowered, and some of the heat in my body cooled just slightly. I no longer felt compelled to ram a shaft of water through her anal orifice. My nostrils flared, and I had to admit to being just slightly confused by this turn of events.
“Nim?”
Nimue, who was never that far from my side, moved into my periphery. I felt her stare drilling hard into me.
“Mother?”
“Did the ugly hagfish just say that we should settle matters as reasonable adults?”
Persephone frowned, staring down at her flower dress, which I could grudgingly admit was prettyish. And when she ran her fingers over her bodice, a new row of buds bloomed, a pretty shade of purplish pink that caused the bat cave to smell like dewy sunshine.
Hm, it wasn’t an unpleasant smell. Was I starting to like the heinous bitch? It seemed impossible, and yet… I pursed my lips.
“I believe she did. And she’s hardly ugly,” Nimue said softly with an apologetic nod toward Persephone, who nodded right back.
I narrowed my eyes. The curse had altered so very, very much of this new world. I had a very long-standing hatred of Persephone that’d built in my heart through many lifetimes, but what if the curse had altered more than just the happily ever afters? I licked my front teeth. This train of thought deserved further exploration.
“When did you and Hades meet, bitch?”
She frowned, but kept her face impassive. “The name is Persephone, or just ’Sephone if you’ve a mind to it. And I do not know your mate all that well, only that he liked me once.”
“Watch yourself, wench,” I hissed.
She held up her hands, staring at me boldly but not with arrogance. Her big brown eyes blinked calmly back at me.
“We’re acquaintances, god killer, but little else.”
I tested her words for deceit but found none. And what she said was true enough. My lover had once pursued this ugly little thing. I couldn’t think why. And yet I could not kill her for telling the truth, either, as much as that thought rankled.
I could see the smallish cave filling up fast with other major and minor gods. I did not have time to kill her. Well, I always had time to kill if I really wanted to, but oddly, I wasn’t so sure I did anymore.
“Hmm,” I said softly.
Nimue whipped her head around and gave me the strangest look. Almost one of incredulity.
“What’s the hmm mean?” she asked me softly.
“It means,” I said on a sigh, “that bitch gets to live another day. For now.”
I saw Persephone wilt like one of her flowers with relief and I couldn’t help but grin. She lived only because I allowed it, and she must never forget that.
“What is the meaning of this?” A female voice full of hubris and rage ripped through the cave, causing the very walls to groan in distress.
I bit my front teeth together and parted my lips in a facsimile of a smile that Hades said made me look like a serial killer, but I only did it when I was really happy. And I was really happy now because before this day was done, I knew there would be bloodshed. And that always thrilled my dark little soul to its core. I rubbed my hands together, shoulder bumping Nim. “And now the fun begins.”
“I really worry about your state of mind sometimes, Calyssa.” She shook her head.
But I waited, encircled by lesser beings as the queen and king of the losers club finally deigned to make their appearance.
They’d both known I’d arrived on Olympus hours ago. They’d only waited to make their entrance to put on airs, as though they actually cared what happened to their youngest child.
Zeus stood beside Hera, hand on her arm, looking down his nose imperially at Nimmy and me. He was as handsome as ever. But that protective stance was pure theatrics. We all knew just how much he really cared for her, and that was not at all.
Clouds rolling with thunder and sparking with brilliant streaks of lightning were his clothing, and I had to give it to Hector—he really knew how to create such lovely clothing with those big, clumsy hands of his. Maybe when this was all over, I’d ask him to customize something similarly queenly for me.
Hera looked at me. Her dark cows eyes pricked with fire at their core. She looked no older than twenty-five with fat, thick brown curls around her face. She was an ugly sort of pretty, I supposed. Smooth of skin that gleamed like purest white marble, and patrician features that gave her a regal air. Long neck—some would say too long, like me. She always sort of reminded me of a drunken goose the way that neck would sometimes twist and turn in the oddest ways. I shuddered. It was disgusting and made me dry heave a little whenever I saw her do it.
She wore a smoky-colored Grecian gown, pearl gray, looking as if it came from the ashes of Hughy’s forge. I wondered if she understood the implicit insult in that. Doubted it. Made me kind of like the pretzel a little more.